Chapter 25
Madi
Ican’t believe I just admitted that . I’d almost backed out of the date when I walked into the living room earlier and saw Matt talking to Jack.
Not because I was scared, but because Matt looked like sex on a stick. Sin in a suit.
His black pants framed his perfect ass.
The top of his crisp, pale gray button-up shirt hung open, teasing me with a peek of his chest tattoo.
A tattoo I’d run my fingers and tongue over, and wanted to explore again.
His tailored black jacket hung open, just begging for me to slip it off his broad shoulders.
Remember where you are.
Jack’s.
That thought had doused the flames. Though it probably hadn’t un-blush my cheeks.
I can’t believe I told him I liked his chivalry. He only acted that way because it’s his job to pretend to be my boyfriend.
Why can’t he be like the other guys I’d dated? Guys who assumed I didn’t want them to be gentlemen just because I didn’t need them.
“Madi.” Matt’s concern snapped me back to the present.
“What?” I asked. Way to broadcast that I wasn’t paying attention. At least he didn’t know why. Nor would I tell him I’d gotten lost in the maze of conflicting thoughts and emotions rushing around my mind.
“Are you okay? You look upset or worried.”
I was, but not for the reasons he assumed. I’d already revealed too much about how I felt, and Matt had made it crystal clear he didn’t want to date for real.
Would I say yes if he asked? Maybe.
I laughed at myself, knowing my answer would one-hundred percent depend on which thought, which emotion, was strongest in the moment. Despite not wanting a relationship right now so I could focus on building my career, Matt pushed all the right buttons, making it hard for me to want to stay away.
“I’m fine.”
And there’s that raised eyebrow again. The one with the faint scar you wouldn’t notice unless you looked closely and saw the bald spot it created in his left eyebrow. “You know that only works on guys who don’t care, right?”
“You’re paid to care.” If I couldn’t stop myself from wanting him, maybe I could make him not want me.
Matt’s grip on my wrist tightened. Not enough to hurt me, but enough to grab my attention.
As if his low, throaty growl couldn’t hold one hundred percent of my attention.
“Listen to me, Madeleine.” My full name on his lips felt like a lover’s caress. “I care. Not because I’m paid to. Not because I’m a nice guy. I care because you’re important to me.”
No words. I had exactly zero words at my disposal.
The intensity in his eyes had me reevaluating everything I believed about him, about me, about the possibility of us.
“Can I tell you a secret?” Matt asked.
I nodded because words still evaded me.
“I like being your knight in shining armour.” His grin melted my lacy panties as his index finger slowly stroked the inside of my palm. He leaned forward and whispered, “But I love making you scream my name.”
His voice slid over me, smoother than top-shelf whisky.
The people around us disappeared. The world shrank to nothing but Matt and me. The air between us cracked with enough electricity to supply the greater Dallas area.
In that moment, nothing mattered but Matt and me and the sparks flying between us. Neither of us wanted anything permanent.
That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends with benefits.
Goosebumps covered my arms as I remembered the feeling of his muscular hands brushing against my skin as he tied my wrists. An unexpected shiver raced along my spine.
A plate crashed to the floor, shattering our spell as it broke into a thousand tiny shards.
The all too real memory of Matt dissolved. The lingering sensation of his touch and the desire pooling in my core didn’t.
I inhaled sharply and forced myself to think of something else to clear Matt from my mind.
It didn’t work. The desire to jump into bed and experience the thrill of Matt tying me up again was stronger than my willpower.
That Matt had that kind of power over me was thrilling and terrifying in equal measure.
Thrilling because I knew from experience how he’d wield that power. Terrifying because I knew my heart would pay the price.
“Who ordered the steak with baked potato?” Our server’s voice had the same effect as a bucket of ice water being poured over our heads.
I yanked my hand back, grabbed my water, and held the ice-cold glass to my chest.
Matt chuckled—the bastard—and coughed. “I did.” His gravelly voice made my lady bits desperate.
The ineffective, ice-cold glass did nothing to cool the fire burning through my veins.
After the server left, we dug into our food to avoid talking.
My mind drifted to the future I wanted. The one where I owned my practice and had a supportive husband and kids.
While I didn’t want a relationship right now, I wasn’t anti-relationship. If love fell in my lap tomorrow, I wouldn’t kick it to the curb as long as he didn’t expect me to give up my career aspirations.
Matt couldn’t be that man. He didn’t want a relationship. I couldn’t expect him to change, and I’d never ask. If I wanted him to respect me and my choices, I had to respect his.
Before long, Matt broke the silence with safe, comfortable small talk.
I ignored my inner ramblings as we talked about shared experiences in the Navy.
“I totally vomited after exiting the chamber,” I said. Most recruits did, so there was no shame in admitting it.
“I was one of the lucky ones,” Matt said. “I gagged and had snot leaking down my face, but I kept my lunch where it belonged.”
Most people wouldn’t consider vomiting after testing our masks in the gas chamber during basic training to be good dinner conversation, but we’d both seen so much worse it didn’t bother us.
Under the table, Matt’s foot brushed mine.
My feeble attempts to ignore or distract myself from my desire for him were useless.
He grinned. I lowered my head and lifted my eyes so I could look at him through my lashes. I gave him a small, inviting smile before looking away.
Matt shifted in his seat.
When Matt offered me a bite of his loaded baked potato, I slowly put my hand over his and guided the fork to my mouth. I took my sweet time closing my lips over the fork without breaking eye contact. When his pupils dilated, I moaned.
I swallowed, licked my lips, and said, “So good.”
Matt’s hand still hung in the air, his fork suspended like he’d seen Medusa and turned to stone.
Only his pulse revealed he was still human. It raced, making his jugular stand out and dance.
He cleared his throat as he snapped out of it. “Glad you liked it.”
Knowing he’d return the favor, I offered him a bite of my garlic mashed potatoes.
Matt didn’t disappoint. The spark between us could have lit half of Texas on fire.
In my peripheral vision, I saw Jay stand.
Mood killed. I slumped against my chair as the sights and sounds of the restaurant returned.
Matt saw my gaze shift and nodded. He didn’t need to follow my line of sight to know my brother was the reason.
We’d gone too far. On the plus side, I’d forgotten all about the threat and my brother until Jay interrupted us.
“So…” Matt downshifted, his voice no longer had that husky quality that made me beg to obey his commands. “Do you like football and baseball, like your brothers?”
Another safe topic. One that reminded me why flirting with Matt was dangerous.
“Baseball more than football, but I’ll watch with friends.”
I told him about playing softball in high school. He shared stories of playing hockey.
“Did you play in high school?”
“No.” A hint of sadness crossed his eyes.
Of course not, he was trying to save his sister. I squeezed his hand.
“Horseback riding and archery ended up being my sports of choice. I had to earn my training time, so I made sure every minute counted.”
Matt didn’t dwell on the bad parts of his past, but I could see the hurt in his eyes any time he talked about his family.
It wasn’t long before Matt apologized and took out his phone. “Sorry, I can’t ignore them forever.” His barely-there head tilt indicated Jay, and by extension AJ and Nathan.
“How do you know it’s them?” I asked.
“The pace my phone is buzzing.”
Matt read his messages, then handed me his phone.
Most were from Nathan. The last one read: Jay is about to have a fucking heart attack, you may want to tone it down.
I looked at my brother and waited for him to sense me glaring holes into the side of his head.
When he finally turned towards me, I gracefully lifted Matt’s phone while giving him the middle finger.
I typed a response to Nathan: Tell Jay, verbatim, Madi says, Jaden Henry Sheppard, leave me the fuck alone.
My parents raised me to have good manners, so I added, please and thank you.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cate laugh as I handed Matt’s phone back.
He read my reply. “You may have just signed my death warrant.”
Only he didn’t sound worried. Proud, maybe?
“You don’t have to worry.”
“I’m not. I love it when you’re feisty.”
We behaved ourselves as we finished our meals. Well, mostly. We kept our hands to ourselves, but the looks we gave each other were anything but innocent.
Matt wanted to take me home as much as I wanted to go home with him.
When the server asked if we wanted dessert, I grinned at Matt over the rim of my wine glass.
All I wanted was him. To lick him like the world’s tastiest ice cream.
“No, we’re good. Can you hurry with the check, please?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Matt, what if I want dessert?” Teasing him felt like foreplay.
“What would you like?” Those words could only sound sensual coming from those full lips.
“Take me back to your place, and I’ll show you.”
What I wanted to do to this man... But not in public.
He wasn’t wearing a tie, but he’d have one in his closet. I wonder if he’ll let me tie him up and have my way with him?
His pupils dilated, and he shifted in his seat.
“We probably shouldn’t-”
“We totally should. I want you. You want me. Fuck everyone else.”
Matt shifted in his seat, again. He glanced over at Jay before his lips pulled up in a ‘fuck it’ grin.