Chapter 29
Madi
“Thank you for doing this,” Jamie said for the third time as I stepped into the disposable scrubs the nurse provided.
“Like I’d say no.”
“Thank you,” Emily croaked out. Her sweat-soaked blonde hair was plastered to her face; her eyes were frantic with fear, and her face was too pale to be considered normal.
I looked at the monitors; Emily’s heart wasn’t the only one racing.
The doctor made the right decision to schedule a C-section.
Jamie held Emily’s right hand while brushing hair off her face.
I held her left and gave them as much privacy as I could.
“I look awful,” Emily cried.
“Are you kidding me? You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
“What about Isabelle?”
That was a cruel question, and one hundred percent not typical, but Emily was borderline delirious with pain.
The look in Jamie’s eyes tore my heart in two. Losing Isabelle had almost killed him, and to have Emily bring that up while his mind raced with the fear of losing her or their babies broke him.
He pressed his forehead to hers and let the tears flow.
“I love you, Emily. Please don’t ever doubt that.”
“I’m so sorry,” Emily squeaked out between sobs. “I don’t deserve you.”
I let go of her hand when she moved it to hug Jamie.
“I think you have that wrong. I don’t deserve you.”
Wanting to get them back on solid ground, I said, “You’re both wrong. You totally deserve each other.”
I gave them a few minutes alone while I used a tissue to dry my face. They didn’t need to see me crying too.
When Emily screamed, I ran back to her side. Jamie blanched as the bedsheets turned red.
Emily passed out.
Jamie froze.
I hit the call button to summon the nurse.
As soon as she walked in, I explained what happened. The nurse paged the doctor before checking on Emily.
I tugged Jamie away from the bed so they could work.
“I can’t…”
“It’ll be okay. They’ll help her.”
“If..” He turned to me. “Madi, I can’t lose her.”
I summoned every ounce of positive energy I could and promised him he wouldn’t.
The doctor approached us and said, “Mr. Sheppard, we’re taking Emily into surgery. Under the circumstances, you won’t be able to accompany her.”
The death grip Jamie had on my hand tightened.
I rubbed his arm.
“I promise we’ll do everything we can to save them all,” the doctor said.
“Save them?” Jamie trembled as the doctor gave voice to his worst fears.
“I have to prep, but a nurse will be in soon to answer your questions.”
They wheeled Emily out to prep her for surgery.
I walked Jamie to a chair and kneeled beside him. I held his hand while I reminded him that Emily and his babies would be fine over and over again.
That’s how the nurse found us.
After the nurse left, I gave Jamie a minute to process the information.
“Jamie?”
He lifted his head.
“You want to stay here, or wait with everyone else?”
He stared at the door, like he hoped it could provide the answer.
“Give me a minute, then I’ll meet you out there.”
“I’ll warn them.” The last thing Jamie needed was to be barraged with questions.
“Thank you.”
After a quick hug, I left my twin brother alone. I prayed every step of the short walk to the waiting room.
“Madi, what’s wrong?” Mom asked.
Matt was by my side faster than my blurry eyes could focus.
Breathe, Sheppard, you’ve handled situations like this before.
But it was never family.
“Emily’s in surgery. During a contraction, she started hemorrhaging, which caused her to lose consciousness.”
Damn, I sounded detached.
I registered the support of Matt’s warm hand on my back as a million questions came at me.
“Enough!” Matt barked. “Give her some space.”
In that moment, I loved Matt. When I was too overwhelmed to hear their questions, let alone answer them, my knight in shining armor made it all stop.
“We don’t know anything.” I took a steadying breath. “Listen, Jamie’s coming out soon. He needs our support but no questions or advice. Okay?”
Everyone mumbled their agreement, and we settled in to wait.
Jamie looked like a ghost of his former self when he finally emerged. Mom and Anne rushed to hug him. Dad and Chris followed after.
True to their words, no one pestered him with questions.
Jamie alternated between pacing and sitting between our parents.
I handed him a bottle of water and a granola bar.
“I’m not hungry.”
“I get it, but Emily needs you. You need to keep your strength up.”
He ate the bar in three bites and chugged the water. “Is there any coffee left?”
“No, but Jack’s bringing some,” Dad answered.
“He doesn’t need to come back.”
“No, but he wants to.”
“But Meg and Natalie.” His voice hitched when he said his niece’s name.
“AJ and Blake are staying with them. AJ’ll drive them all over later,” Dad answered.
I texted Jack and told him the same thing I’d told everyone else.
Thanks. Dad warned me. Can I bring anything besides coffee?
We’re good.
It was almost four. In two hours, when the cafeteria opened, we could send someone to get breakfast.
Jamie had just poured his second cup of coffee when the doctor entered the waiting room. “Mr. Sheppard?”
The room turned eerily silent as all heads turned towards the doctor.
The first thing I noticed was his relaxed posture. They’re okay.
Air rushed from my lungs as Jamie stood and approached the doctor. “Are they—”
“Everyone is fine. You have two healthy babies, a boy and a girl.”
The doctor reached forward to catch Jamie as his knees buckled.
A collective whoosh of relief-filled breath filled the air.
After recovering, Jamie asked, “Can I see her?”
“The nurses need a few minutes to make everyone presentable. Someone will come get you when they’re done.”
Jamie folded his hands together, raised his eyes to the ceiling, and sent up a prayer of thanks.
He’d barely lowered his hands when he was bombarded by hugs and backslaps of congratulations.
An hour later, Jamie gave us an update while Emily napped. Dad handed him a cigar, then, like he did when Natalie was born, he passed them out to the men.
We couldn’t smoke in the hospital, so it was purely ceremonial.
“Where’s mine?” I asked when he bypassed me and handed a cigar to Matt.
“Since when do you smoke cigars?”
“Dad, we’re not smoking them. Did you assume I wouldn’t want to celebrate with you just because I’m a girl?”
I saw it the moment it clicked. Then he laughed. “Well, damn, I did. I’m sorry, honey.”
“Apology accepted.”
“Hopefully, some of the other women decline. I didn’t bring enough for everyone.”
“Here, have mine.” Matt handed me his cigar. “He’s your brother.”
Usually I’d argue, but not about this. “Thanks.” I took the cigar and popped it into my mouth.
“Wrong end,” Matt whispered in my ear.
I ignored the shiver induced by his breath against my ear as I turned the cigar around.
I blamed the adrenaline for my response to his whisper.
As the group settled down, normal conversation continued.
When Jamie finally came back, he was happy and proud as a peacock, despite having enough luggage under his bloodshot eyes for a six-week vacation.
“When Emily wakes up, you can visit her, as long as she’s up for it, and meet the twins, Richard and Rose.”
Jack teased him, “With all the shit we put up with as kids, you started their names with the same letter?”
“It’s their middle names, dumb ass,” I said, smacking Jack on the arm.
He thought about it for a second. “Right, I know, but still. How will little Ricky feel about being called Rose when Jamie scolds him?”
“What about Rose? Aren’t you worried how she’ll feel when Jamie calls her Richard?” I battled on behalf of my new niece.
“And what happens when people start making dick jokes?” Jay asked.
Laughter filled the room as we teased Jamie.
Other families might handle the situation differently after having such a terrible scare, but we were soldiers and cops—we handled things with dark humor.
And enough dick jokes to make any twelve-year-old boy giddy.
You’d think our parents would stop us, but they just stood back and enjoyed the show.
“Oh man, what happens if someone calls Rose Dick because they can’t tell them apart.”
“Are you calling my baby girl ugly?” Jamie feigned offense.
“Dude,” Jay drew out the ‘u’. “I hate to break it to you, but all babies are ugly.”
“What are you talking about? My daughter is adorable,” Jack countered.
“She is now,” Jay shot back. “But I bet Rose won’t be cute for a few days.”
I wouldn’t say it out loud, but I agreed—babies were ugly for the first few hours of their lives.
“Can you even tell them apart?” Jay asked, his face a picture of seriousness. “Because that might be a problem.”
“Well, yeah, dumbass, Richard has a dick and Rose doesn’t.” Jamie laughed at his dick joke.
“You’re a dad now, should you be talking like that?” Jay scolded his oldest brother.
“He’s right, Jamie. You should probably cut back on using the dick word,” Jack added helpfully.
“Anything to add, Madi?” Jamie turned towards me.
“I’m sure I was an adorable newborn, but I bet you were ugly, baby brother.”
“Twenty-two minutes, Madi. Twenty-two minutes.”
“Hey, how far apart are Richard and Rose, and who’s older?” Mom asked.
Jamie stood a little straighter, stared me straight in the eyes, and announced, “Richard is nineteen minutes older than his baby sister.”
“That really makes you happy, doesn’t it?”
“You have no idea.” Jamie laughed and handed his cigar to Dad. “I’m heading back. I’ll text when Emily’s awake and ready for visitors.”
I dozed off and on while we waited for Emily to wake up. Each time I woke up, I lifted my head off Matt’s shoulder. I refused to think about what that meant as I checked in with everyone.
The first hints of pink showed on the horizon when Jamie finally messaged us.
Emily’s exhausted so no more than two, and keep it short.
Chris and Anne, she’s asking for you.
Emily’s parents did their best to look presentable as they finger-combed their hair and ran their hands down their shirts.
When they came back, they sent in my parents.