Chapter 50
Matt
Iwanted Madi to meet Shane, but giving her extra time was the right choice based on the gratitude emanating from her eyes as she swallowed hard. Like she was fighting back tears.
“Thank you. Now go see Shane.”
The man had practically raised me, but I’d never called him anything but Sir when I was a kid, and Shane after graduating basic training.
He’d served as a SEAL and was the reason I joined the Navy. I wanted to follow in his footsteps and make something of myself.
Shane was the role model my father couldn’t be. And I wasn’t the only one. Shane opened his ranch to strays and wayward teens, and offered as much help and guidance as we’d accept.
Some accepted until they realized he didn’t give handouts. Some stayed until they got back on their feet.
Some, like me, stayed, worked our asses off, and thanked him for everything he taught us every time we returned to the ranch.
Refusing to be in a wheelchair when I greeted him, I walked out of Madi’s room.
Shane’s beefy arms were open; he was ready to pull me into a bear hug, but stopped short when his eyes shifted to my bandaged arm. “Sorry, emotions got the best of me for a second there.”
I slipped my arm out of the sling, held it out of the way, and closed the distance.
“I heard what you did.”
“I had to.” I choked back the emotion threatening to leak out of my eyes.
“I know.” He pulled back and squeezed my right shoulder. “I know.”
He would’ve done the same thing.
We weren’t big on small talk, so I went straight to what mattered. “I want to introduce you to Madi, but it’ll have to wait until after dinner.”
Which reminded me. “Mary, Madi would like some help.”
“Where’s your wheelchair?” Leave it up to Mary to call me out.
“I don’t really need it. I hurt my arm, not my legs.”
“Boy, don’t sass,” Shane ordered.
Properly chastised, I apologized to Mary while everyone within hearing distance snickered.
“I’ll go get it.”
I followed Mary to the door and waited for her to push the chair to me. “I know you don’t need it, but there’s no harm in following the rules.”
No, just damage to my ego.
There was no way I’d be walking anywhere, so I plopped my ass in the bare-bones, hospital wheelchair.
“Have you eaten?” I asked Shane. “I could go for some non-patient hospital food.”
“I could eat.”
“Then I’ll let you push me to the cafeteria.”
Shane shook hands with John before getting behind me and grabbing the handles.
“Would you feel better about your ride if I popped a wheelie?” Shane asked, a hint of youthful humor in his voice.
“Hell yeah, I would.” If anyone on staff saw us, we’d get an earful, but it’d be worth it.
When we got caught, and we stood, well I sat, at attention like good sailors while we endured the agonizingly boring lecture on why rules are important for the safety of everyone in the hospital.
In the cafeteria, Shane bought me my second lunch.
I loaded the burger with all the toppings, and extra mustard, to please my tastebuds.
This time, I didn’t rush. I couldn’t. Eating a heaping-with-all-the-fixings, too big for my mouth burger with only one hand wasn’t easy.
“You want some help with that?” Shane asked after he stopped laughing.
“That’d be great. Thanks.” I picked the lettuce off my legs, then wiped the mustard off my sweatpants as he cut my burger into quarters.
We didn’t have a lot to catch up on, since I’d spent my holiday break helping out at the ranch, but there was one kid I wanted to ask about.
“How’s Trina?” She was a foster kid who’d run away from an abusive family. Like most kids, Trina landed at Shane’s after a run in with the law and had major trust issues.
Shane’s ranch was a last resort for local teens in the system; most were runaways from abusive homes who struggled to survive on the streets. Shane helped them clean up their act, and gave them a roof over their head while teaching them useful skills and getting them back in school.
For many, it was their last chance to get their shit together before they wound up in juvenile detention, or worse. Those who passed the interview were invited to move in immediately.
I wasn’t a runaway, and had worked at the ranch before the cop who arrested me for underaged drinking, and knew my family history, brought me to Shane instead of locking me up.
I was one of the lucky ones, and I’d made the most out of my second chance.
Despite Shane’s best efforts and loving guidance, not everyone who stayed at the ranch went on to live a drug or jail free life. But his successes far outweighed the failures.
When I’d visited Shane last December, he told me about Trina. “She works her ass off, like she’s afraid she’ll get booted, and she’s timid, even with the other kids.”
For whatever reason, she’d opened up to me when I was leading an archery class during my second day there. She was a natural, so I’d asked her to help one of the shy younger kids during the next class.
The shy girl Shane described disappeared when she talked to me, and while hesitant to work with the other kids at first, she’d come out of her shell faster than I’d expected as more kids asked for her help.
“You had a major impact on her.”
“In a good way, I hope?”
Shane’s brow lifted his more salt than pepper hairline.
“She’s doing well.” He took a bite and chewed it slowly, leaving me hanging in suspense.
“And?”
“She’s thinking about joining the Navy after she graduates high school.” His proud papa bear smile grew even bigger when he added, “She wants to be a teacher.”
He let it sink in. The girl, who rarely spoke to anyone, wanted to join the Navy and become a teacher.
“You gave her that,” he said.
“No, I just showed her the way. She did the work.”
“And that, Matthew, is why you’re one of my biggest successes.”
“I am? How so?”
“Most people think it’s because you became a SEAL, which is no small feat and I’m proud as a peacock you followed in my footsteps, but that’s not what makes you a success. It’s what you give back to the kids who find themselves on my doorstep.”
“That’s crazy. I show up once a year or so. You do all the hard work.”
“You show up and give everything you have to those kids. They listen to you because you’ve been there. You show them what’s possible.” He pointed at me with his fork. “And you refuse to accept a lick of credit for the impact you have.”
“You’ve never said anything before.”
“Because I never had to answer your ICE call before. It was one hell of a wake up call.” He swallowed whatever he planned on saying next.
Shane had been my In Case of Emergency contact since my sophomore year in high school. Somehow, I’d served eight years as a Navy SEAL without him getting that call. Not everyone was that lucky.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For worrying you.”
“Boy,” Shane only called me boy when I’d fucked up, but I wasn’t sure what I’d done. “From what I hear, you rushed into a burning building to save your boss’s daughter. Don’t you dare apologize for making me worry a little.”
Ah. John must have told Shane the details I’d left out when I talked to him.
“He filled in a few gaps in your story.” He leaned back. “On the job injury my ass. You risked your life to save the woman you love.”
Shane was the one person I’d talked to about my feelings after the shock of seeing Madi at the company Christmas party. Though I never said I loved her.
“I would have done it for anyone.”
“Maybe. But you and I both know, the SEALs taught you to assess a situation, not run in blind.”
“And you and I both know that rule goes out the window when innocents are involved.”
“Sometimes.”
He’d done his fair share of stupid stuff, both in and out of the military. Ranches could be dangerous places, and jumping into a raging river during flood season to rescue a calf wasn’t much different from running into a fire.
Shane didn’t bother looking guilty when I reminded him of that particular folly.
“I did what I did.”
“You did.” I sucked in a deep breath and admitted what I’d known for a long time. “And I’m happy that I learned to ‘do what I do’ from you.”
“Don’t make an old man tear up.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
He waved his hand and changed the subject. “You know you can always come to the ranch. The kids would love it.”
Shane frequently reminded me, but I wasn’t ready to settle down into a councilor or coaching job. I still crave action.
I always figured I’d settle down at the ranch. Eventually.
I may have to reconsider. Madi has such strong ties here.
“I like what I do.”
“I know, I didn’t mean forever, just while you heal.”
My eyes darted to the door. “I’m good here.”
He finished his coffee and set the mug on the table. “Any particular reason you want to stay here instead of being spoiled back home?”
Playing dumb with Shane was, well, dumb. “What reason could I possibly have?”
I knew. He knew.
I tried anyway.
My stupid smile—the one I couldn’t help but display any time I thought about Madi—gave me away.
“The one that puts that smile on your face. The one you can’t shut up about.”
“I haven’t talked about her that much.”
“Liar. You’ve mentioned her in every phone call since you’ve returned to Weatherford. You forget, I know you almost better than you know yourself.”
“It was worth a try.” I had no reason to hide my feelings from Shane, but it still felt weird opening up.
“You’ve spent a lot of time avoiding relationships because of what you went through and the fear of losing someone you love.”
That’d never been a secret. I didn’t talk about women, didn’t bring them home, didn’t do long term. I wasn’t the first person who wanted to avoid another heartbreaking loss.
Everyone I’ve loved has left me, in the most painful way possible, except Shane.
“Matt, you’ve never talked about anyone the way you talk about Madi. Hell, you barely talked about women at all. When was the last time you tried hooking up?”
Not that long ago, but I ended up spending the evening with Madi.
I laughed at the memory.
“Care to share?”
“The last time I tried, I ended up on a date with Madi.”
“Did you now?” His knowing smirk was as annoying as it was endearing.
“Technically a fake date. Some guy was harassing her.”
“And you stepped in to be her knight in shining armor.”
Madi and I used the phrase in private, but her pride would never allow her to admit in public.
“Something like that, but maybe don’t use that phrase with her. She’s fiercely independent,” I reminded him, feeling nothing but respect for Madi.
“I can’t wait to meet her.”
“You’ll like her. She’s feisty and doesn’t take anyone’s bullshit. And she’s a giver, like you.”
“Then what are we waiting for?” Shane asked, standing and grabbing our trays.
The tension in the wall of Sheppards as Shane wheeled me toward Madi’s room set off all my alarm bells.
As we neared the wall, I heard Paul’s voice.
“Son of a bitch.” I jumped out of the chair. When Shane’s hand landed on my shoulder, I warned him. “Don’t.”
He let his hand fall.
Jay must have heard me because he stepped aside, making room for me to pass him.
“You need to leave.” I growled through gritted teeth so as not to create a bigger scene in the hospital hall.
“I came to apologize to Madi.”
“Over my dead body,” I said, advancing on Paul.
He was smart enough to step back, but not smart enough to leave. His eyes were bloodshot, and he had bags under his eyes. He carried himself like a man defeated by life.
“Robinson, let him talk,” John said.
“He’s not getting anywhere near Madi,” I growled.
“No, he’s not. But we’ll listen to what he has to say,” John said.
“Step back and listen.” Shane ordered as he placed a hand on my right shoulder and pulled me back. He stood beside me, filling the space between John and me. Jay was on my left.
Paul swallowed and gathered his courage before word vomiting. “Pamela went off her meds, only I didn’t know it. She was struggling, lost her job, and started drinking. That’s why I was moving to Weatherford, to help her. I never meant to put Madi in danger.”
I growled as the image of Madi trapped in an inferno flashed across my mind.
“She has a mental illness, and I…” tears filled Paul’s eyes, “I didn’t see the signs. I failed her.”
Reaching deep down inside, I found a hint of sympathy. I wasn’t an unforgiving man, but he’d led Pamela to Madi because he couldn’t take no for an answer, and for that, I’d never forgive him.
“Your obsession with Madi almost cost my daughter her life,” John said, doing a much better job of sounding like a human rather than a feral wolf, like I would have.
Paul hung his head. “Madi’s amazing. I just wanted her to give me a chance. I thought if I tried harder, she would.”
Jay and Shane prevented me from stepping forward.
Paul held his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. I never wanted Madi to get hurt,” he said, dragging his hand down his face.
“I know this won’t erase Pamela’s actions, but she’ll spend the rest of her life locked up. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but know that like you, I love my sister. It blinded me to what was right in front of me, and now I’ve lost her.”
I didn’t have to reach as deep to find a sliver of sympathy.
“I’m sorry about your sister,” John said. “I’ll pass your apology on to Madi, but that’s all I’ll do.”
Paul nodded. “Thank you.”
“You aren’t to contact her in any way. Am I clear?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Now get out.” John’s tone signalled the end of Paul’s audience just as two security officers arrived.
The protective line held until the officers escorted Paul out of our line of sight.
“You okay?” Shane asked.
“Wouldn’t mind putting my fist through something, but otherwise, yeah.”
“Careful, Robinson, you only have one good hand,” Jay lightened the mood with a well-timed wisecrack.
“Fuck you, Sheppard.”
“Hey,” every Sheppard except Jay protested.
“Sorry. Fuck you, Jay.”
“That’s better,” Jack said.
“Hi, I’m Jack. You must be Shane.”
“It’s nice to put a face to the name,” Shane said, shaking Jack’s hand.
“You must be Nathan,” Shane said, turning to Blaszek.
“What gave it away?” Nathan’s smile made the jagged scar on his face wrinkle.
“You carry yourself like a SEAL.”
“Hooyah,” Nathan and I replied together.
Not to be outdone, Jay and John said, “Ooh rah.”
“I’d love to stay and chat, but I have a date with the woman who stole Matt’s heart.”
My anger melted as I thought of Madi, the woman who’d snuck in like a fucking ninja and stolen my heart, alive and waiting for me in her hospital room.
I sank back into my ride and let Shane push me to Madi’s door. “I can’t wait to leave tomorrow so I can walk like a normal person.”
“Stop whining,” Shane said.
“I knew there was a reason I liked him,” John said.
Great, just what I needed, both my mentors teaming up against me.
“Knock on the door already.”