Chapter Twenty Five #2
Slowly, I come back to myself. Being with Harper was incredible. The way she clung to me, panting and shaking. How her body reacted. I don’t need to be told that she enjoyed it with words, I felt her satisfaction. Wrapping my arms around her, my hand strokes her upper back.
“Maybe next time, just ask for a ballpark figure,” I murmur by her receiver. Harper chuckles a shrill laugh that’s bordering on hysterical, and I decide to save her from any more embarrassment.
“When I left the JDC, I lost my way. Like most guys would after being locked up with other dudes, I reckon. I met young women online or at bars, all the hazardous stuff you should avoid doing. But it got old real fast and instead of making me feel better, I just felt more hollow inside. So, I promised myself that the next time I took a woman to bed, it’d mean something.
That there’d be actual feelings involved. ”
Reaching up, I cradle her jaw and coax her to look at me. Her green eyes dart everywhere but mine until I finally catch them.
“And have you? Had actual feelings for anyone since?” she whispers.
“Not until you.” Her lips part slightly, her breath brushing across my face until it’s swallowed by my kiss.
I take her mouth leisurely, my tongue teasing hers in lazy, unhurried strokes that have her melting into me.
I don’t rush, not when she deserves someone who will devote every second to pleasing her.
Reaching up to free her braid, I let the pink curls tumble loose between my fingers.
Her vanilla shampoo mixes with the crisp sweetness of rosé still lingering on her tongue, and it’s intoxicating.
I push the basket aside, the motion careful yet charged.
Lowering her onto the blanket, I brace my forearms on either side of her head.
Her chest rises and falls in quick, shallow breaths, her green eyes darkened to a stormy jade.
She’s stunning. Wild and soft all at once, hair fanned out like a halo, her mouth kiss-swollen and glistening.
I kiss along her jaw, down the graceful curve of her neck, feeling her shiver under my lips.
Her fingers slide into my hair, tugging lightly as she exhales my name like a secret.
“What about you?” I ask, a crooked grin finding its way back. It’s a pretense for the jealousy I’m about to feel. “I’m guessing there’s an army of exes I should be on the lookout for?”
“Nope.” She swallows, her eyes flicking away.
“I’ve never had an official boyfriend.” My eyebrows rise before I can stop them.
In one sense, her declaration fills me with some internal hope.
Firstly, because her and Wavershit clearly haven’t decided anything officially, which means I am still in with a chance.
But it also hits me with a huge amount of pressure to get this right, to not fuck this up and give Harper some jagged sense of what a relationship should be.
“I’ll never rush you, Harper,” I say quietly.
“But I want you. I want to hold you when you sleep, help you study, watch you succeed and fail, and still get up again. I want to be your everything.” I feel the shift between us before I see it.
Her desire and her fear. Her eyes glisten, and I realize I’m leaning too close.
The last thing I want is to make Harper feel cornered.
So I shift, rolling us onto our sides, giving her space while keeping my arm beneath her head and my other hand resting lightly on her hip.
“What about…” Her voice trails off, barely a whisper.
“Rhys?” I supply for her. It’s no wonder that’s where her mind goes. He’s overwhelming and all-consuming, even when he’s not here. Harper nods hesitantly and I withhold my sigh, even if his name does taste bitter on my tongue.
I know she’s conflicted, but if I’m honest, I don’t think I’m built for sharing.
“I do get it.” I say, even though it kills me.
Even though I know I’m not built for sharing and our current circumstances won’t last much longer.
Still, I force myself to be the bigger man for her.
“With him, it’s fast and fierce. And although I’m more reserved, I want to make it clear I’m just as invested in winning you.
He may be fire, but I’m ice. I’ll soothe away the burns he creates and pull you back from the flames when they grow too wild. I’m your loyal protector after all.”
Harper’s eyes begin to swim with unshed tears, indecision shattering her expression.
It breaks me. I never want to be the reason for her sadness, so I cup her jaw and pull her into me.
Hovering just close enough for her chest to brush mine with each breath, my gaze seeks permission before I find her lips again.
This time, Harper takes control, kissing me back hungrily, her hands curling around the fabric of my shirt.
I let her roll me onto my back, let her take control of her emotions whilst moving to straddle me.
I won’t take it any further since there are people in the vicinity, but my hands do land on Harper’s bare thighs and I find myself being tested in ways a lesser man would fail.
In a way that Wavershit would fail miserably.
I’m better than that, and him. I just need to hold on long enough for Harper to see that too.