Chapter 10
Alyssa
I worried maybe I’d given Jade too serious an impression about what was wrong with me… like I had some serious crisis and not just a stupid brain that kept circling around the same thing.
It hadn’t even been a big deal. I’d managed to keep it to myself all day, enough Daniela didn’t notice even though she was off work and we spent most of the day out on the town together, meeting up with Abby and Kaitlyn at Sleepy Hollow.
I put on smiles and, in the middle of conversation, even managed to forget about it for a bit, but it crept back in.
Maybe it was a punishment for sleeping in, because I woke up at six, stirred, went to get up, and then fell back asleep.
Then when I woke up at almost ten, I had a message from Sawyer, burning into my phone.
Not even anything serious, just asking me where I’d gone and how I could just leave without giving him a new address.
It took me a long time before I managed to respond that I was staying with family out of state, and when he replied where out of state, I had a breakdown, lying on the floor where it was colder, blaring music in my headphones so loud it left me with my ears ringing, just to drown out my thoughts.
I ended up leaving the basement at almost noon, and I told Daniela I’d only just woken up.
Honestly, I don’t know why I’d told Jade. Just… she’d seemed so vulnerable, so nervous about admitting she didn’t feel up to the event, and I felt like my heart reached out for her. She trusted me enough to tell me she wasn’t planning to stay here, so I guess it just felt right.
But, most importantly, I’d moved one step forwards.
Daniela and Jade were talking. We’d all made multiple trips to haul in Daniela’s big food spread and Cat’s massive trove of dessert, and even though Daniela had been nervous and guarded at first when she saw Jade here, she was starting to relax a little by the time we got inside and Daniela and I got drinks.
Jade leaned back against the wall next to the bar while Daniela took her bubbly magenta drink with berries on top and sipped it, giving her a more genuine smile than she had in the parking lot.
“So, how’s the thawing been?” she said, and Jade snorted, shaking her head.
“Fun as it is every year. I’m just glad I can survive without wearing five layers.”
“The thawing?” I said, and Jade nodded.
“Spring is a big deal in the mountains. The peaks have snow for a long time, and it melts slowly, so streams are all running high… and the freeze-thaw cycle does a lot of damage to trees, roads, infrastructure.”
“Oh, wow.”
Daniela elbowed me playfully. “Not the big city anymore.”
“But you’re liking it here?” Jade said, and I shrugged.
“It’s beautiful. But I’m not a good judge! I only just got here. I like the flowers, though,” I said, and that got a laugh from both of them.
“We went on a hike yesterday,” Daniela said, and Jade got a gleam in her eyes.
“Oh, I know,” she said. “She sent me a picture of every blue flower in Vermont.”
I laughed, my face warm, and I hid a little in my drink. “I wasn’t that bad!”
“She was that bad,” Daniela said. “Have you had any time for hiking lately, Jade?”
“Ah… not a lot. Working overtime and trying to stay on top of orders.”
“Oh, candle business is booming.”
I sipped my drink, standing to the side a little disengaged as the two of them settled into a rhythm talking.
I guess… I’d done what I wanted here, getting the two of them talking a bit, but it left me unmoored now, a bit of an outsider in the conversation, nothing to occupy my thoughts and keep me away from the spiral I’d been in this morning.
I sipped my drink and, when I felt the memories of the text messages pressing in like a hot brand against my mind, I flashed a smile.
“I’m just going to grab some snacks real quick,” I said, and I ducked away to the back, where I stood suddenly paralyzed at the dessert table. I didn’t know how it hit me so suddenly, but it went from zero to a hundred, and I locked up, clutching my drink and struggling to breathe.
He was going to track down my address, wasn’t he? He clearly felt entitled to know where I’d gone. I didn’t know how, but he’d be able to find me. Was I putting Daniela in the line of fire? What would he even do?
“Hey, blue-eyes,” a voice said from next to me, and I jumped, sloshing my drink over the sides of the glass, as the lock on my mind broke. “Oh—god—sorry.” Abby’s voice. She was next to me, grabbing a couple napkins off the table, and she helped dab up the spilled drink. “You okay?” she laughed.
“Jesus, I’m so sorry,” I laughed, the sound nervous and high-pitched. “I zoned out so hard. Hey, Abby.”
“No problem. Sorry for spooking you,” she said, wiping the spilled drink off my hand and tossing the napkins in the trash, handing me a clean one. I took it and finished drying my hand, my heartrate coming back down to normal.
“Well… be glad I was holding my drink in both hands,” I said. “I’ve been known to slap people when I’m scared.”
She grinned. “I heard about that. That big cut on Jade’s cheek?”
“I feel so bad.”
“I wouldn’t, if I were you,” she said, dropping her voice. “She’s been a bit of a jerk lately.”
My stomach twisted up in a tight knot, and I clutched the drink close to myself. “I don’t think she’s a jerk at all.”
She softened into an apologetic smile. “I don’t mean to shoot her down if you’re friends with her and all that. There’s just been a lot of stuff lately.”
“I heard about it, I just… don’t think Jade’s done anything wrong. She’s not mad or anything, she’s just closed off, feeling solitary.” I didn’t know why I was running my mouth. Why was my filter always the first thing to go when I got stressed?
She frowned. “Well, she told off Charlie and insulted her relationship, for one.”
“Wait—seriously?”
She sighed, leaning against the table and picking up a cupcake, peeling back the wrapper and taking a nibble.
“Charlie and Drew are especially close,” she said.
“So when things went down, Charlie tried to talk to her and Cat, and Jade made a comment about you and your girlfriend young enough to be your daughter.”
“She said that?” It felt like a cold flush in my stomach, and I clutched my drink tighter.
“Apparently. Just don’t tell anyone I told you that,” she said with a sheepish laugh. “I heard it from Linda. I think Charlie doesn’t want to talk about it.”
I guess Jade had been under a lot of stress and pressure, but going off on Charlie like that was just… well, a low blow at best. I looked down.
“Aw, don’t make that sad face,” she said. “Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t realize you liked Jade so much.”
“She’s been a nice friend for me,” I said. I hated how pitiful I sounded.
“I don’t think she’s a bad person!” Abby said, hands up. “I just think she’s been in her own head lately, that’s all. You know when you get caught up in your feelings and you say things you regret?”
I laughed nervously. “Yeah, I, uh… I do know that.”
“Don’t worry about it, babe,” she said, and she took a bite of her cupcake and set it down next to her, sidling closer to me. “Aside from all that, how are you liking Vermont? Not too tired from the hike?”
“Ah… I’m a bit tired,” I lied. Well, not a lie, technically—I was exhausted, but it had nothing to do with the hike. “But I’m really glad we got to go. I had a lot of fun.”
“Me too.” She batted her eyelashes a little. “We should totally do something like it again sometime soon.”
“Are you going to be at the market on Sunday?”
“I am, yeah. But I know Daniela will be there with you.”
I cocked my head. “Do you not like her or something?”
“She’s fine,” she laughed. “I just mean, something with me and you.”
“Oh. Yeah, I mean, I’m down. We could get coffee or something?”
She smiled wide. “That sounds wonderful,” she said. “By the way, I love your dress. You look so good tonight.”
“Thanks…” I adjusted the dress, sipping my drink anxiously.
I was floored by the thought that maybe I did manage to look good—not just in that I was kind of plain, but in that I was so frazzled and exhausted that I felt like I’d phoned it in getting dressed for a party.
“You look nice, too,” I said. “I like your shoes.”
“Oh, thanks,” she said, lighting up as she flashed the shoes from all angles, cute little sandal heels. “I decided to make an effort today and see if I could get a girl’s attention tonight.”
“Oh, yeah?” I stood up taller. “Is there someone here you’re after?”
She laughed, giving me a playful look. “I think I can think of someone.”
“Well, don’t just tease me with it,” I laughed. “Who is it?”
She bit her lip, eyes twinkling. “I’ll let you guess.”
“Oh, god, I don’t know. Daniela?” I really hoped not. I had a job to handle.
“Close. I did go on a hike with her yesterday, but it’s not Daniela.”
I frowned. Charlie and Linda were the only other ones with us. “Linda…? Do they have an open relationship or something?”
The smile vanished from Abby’s face, and she went through a whole series of emotions looking at me before she said, “Are you… oh, shit. Are you straight?”
“What?”
“Oh, god, I was just assuming. I’m so sorry.”
“Oh—” Oh, Jesus, she was talking about me. About me? I thought she was just being funny, just playing. Or—she probably still was. “I’m not. I’m, uh…”
“Alyssa—hi, dear,” Charlie’s voice said, coming in at the worst moment, and I looked at where she came up to the two of us smiling sweetly at me. “I’m glad we’re keeping up the streak of seeing each other every day.”
“Oh, yeah—” I laughed, short and sudden and confused, plastering on a smile. “Hi, Charlie. How are you doing? Have you had the food? Cat’s trifle is really good.”
“I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure yet,” she said. “But if that’s your recommendation, I guess I’ll take it.”