Chapter 18
Jade
I was a lost cause. Alyssa made a scene out of dancing with Abby, and I could only assume she knew how I felt and was trying to push me away, because she kept looking at me.
First when she was up close to Abby flirting with her, catching me looking at her, and then when she took Abby’s hand to dance, she held eye contact with me as Abby led her to the middle of the floor.
I barely even clocked anything that happened with Cat there, because I was too busy watching the scene unfolding in the middle of the floor.
Drew turned up the music, and I guess I should have been grateful—he’d been bitter and moody since Cat came in, but he cheered up at the sight of the two of them dancing, especially when they danced enough that Charlie led Linda to dance too, and then Matt and Skye, and a few other couples, until it was an impromptu dance party.
But no matter how many people squeezed in around them, Alyssa kept looking at me, every time Abby shifted in closer to her, or touched her on the arm or the waist, or whispered and laughed something small and flirtatious.
Without fail, even searching through the crowd to find me, Alyssa’s bright blue eyes would flick back to me, and I swear there was satisfaction there seeing me staring back at her.
I was so locked in on it, watching the way they moved together—Abby was the experienced dancer showing Alyssa how to do it, and I felt sick with how much I wanted to be the one showing her how to dance—that I almost didn’t notice when Daniela elbowed me in the side.
“Not going to jump up onto the floor to dance?” she laughed, and I snorted, looking away, somehow managing to break my gaze from Alyssa.
“Not for a million dollars.”
“C’mon, you like dancing.”
“I like dancing in a class. Or a small setting. Not squeezing in with a bunch of half-drunk sweaty bodies.”
Daniela’s eyes gleamed as she was about to say something else I didn’t need to hear, but apparently she wasn’t the only one getting on my case, because Cat tapped me on the arm, sidling in from where she’d been down the bar talking to Kaitlyn.
She grinned, sliding into my vision, and she said, “Are you dancing today?”
“Ugh, everyone’s in on it,” I said, setting my cider down so I could sign as I spoke. “No, I’m not dancing.”
Daniela cut in. “I was just telling her to! She’s the best dancer here, right?”
Cat grinned. “Definitely better than me. You can take her up to the floor and dance.”
I scowled at her. “What, deciding that for me?”
She smiled wider at me, and she looked across the floor to where Alyssa was standing dangerously close to Abby, looking into her eyes and nodding while Abby explained something, and Cat looked back at me. “Just for a bit,” she said. “You don’t want Alyssa off without our group, do you?”
Shit, that was such a low blow. And it was one that worked.
If she was trying to… show me that she didn’t want me, then I wasn’t going to stand here just sadly being rejected.
I sighed, turning to Daniela. “Don’t step on my feet,” I said, offering her my hand.
She grinned, putting hers firmly in mine.
“No promises,” she said.
Cat slid up onto a barstool looking satisfied with herself. She was such a dick sometimes. Pity I liked her as much as I did.
I led Daniela to the floor, and people moved aside for us—even aside from the fact that Daniela was usually the tallest person in the room and people automatically made room for her, people knew I took dancing seriously, and eyes were suddenly on me. All the better. For Alyssa to see.
I held Daniela in a tango position, and I waited as the song wrapped up, and even with Daniela looking at me with a big expectant smile, I found my eyes going past her, off to where Alyssa was staring at me like she, Daniela and I were the only three people in the world.
“You remember how to do this?” I said under my breath to Daniela even as I kept holding eye contact with Alyssa, who was—I think, similarly, only half paying attention to where Abby was slowing to a stop next to her.
“Nothing too tricky, okay?”
“Just keep up.” The next song started, and I led Daniela along in a movement, and she fumbled a little, but she caught up before long, clearly working for it but keeping up as I led her through the dance.
I felt her eyes on me the whole time, but I could only look past her, off to where Alyssa was looking away from Abby and right back at me the whole time.
The four of us circling the floor, twirling, Daniela’s and Abby’s bodies sweeping in between us but only briefly breaking the lock of her blue eyes on mine.
A challenge. If Alyssa was telling me she didn’t want me, I’d tell her I could handle it.
The song ended with us all close together in the center—the rest of the floor had cleared, everybody else back at the bar, most of them watching, but all I could notice was the sweet, creamy smell of Alyssa’s perfume as we finished the song next to each other.
She flicked her gaze over me, a cautious smile on her lips.
“I didn’t know you could dance like that,” she said.
“You didn’t ask,” I answered breezily. Something flared up in her eyes, and it felt like the moment would catch fire, but Abby broke it by stepping closer to Alyssa.
I wanted to slap her hands away. I’d never been this much of a bitch with someone who was perfectly lovely, but in this moment, I hated that woman.
“Jade’s a sleeper,” Abby laughed. “She did serious dance for years as a kid, and sometimes she shows up at dance classes and events to show us all up.”
“So,” Daniela said, “all things considered, I’m due some credit for keeping up.”
“You held me back a lot, but I forgive you,” I said, giving her a playful shove. Alyssa’s eyes flared up, but she plastered on a smile.
“I’m impressed,” she said, and she took all the wind back out of my sails by sidling up next to Abby, sliding a hand to her back. “Abby’s just teaching me how not to step on her feet. Or my own.”
Abby nudged her side, winking at her. “You’re a quick learner.”
“Mm.” I turned back to Daniela. “All right, you got your warm-up. Do better in the next song.”
“Huh—I’m doing the best I can,” Daniela said, but I tugged her off her feet, pulling her into another dance with me. Alyssa watched me with wide eyes, but Abby moved in front of her, breaking contact. Keeping those blue eyes to herself.
Another two dances, and I broke, saying I needed a bit of fresh air, and I stepped outside to where I knew right away I wasn’t going back inside.
Hadn’t even intended it when I left the building, but I walked straight to the car, and the next thing I knew, I was back at home, and I knew I really was a lost cause, because even after all that—even after Alyssa was doing all that, her hands all over Abby, even after doing everything I could to show her I wasn’t affected, the first thing I did when I got back home was to go to the candle station, and I opened the box of saved scent samples, while the scent of Alyssa’s perfume was still fresh in my memory.
A dozen samples I was testing, and none of them were quite right. I needed her here for reference. Needed to keep her here when it was just the two of us, hold her close, breathe her in, wrap myself up in that scent.
Instead, it was going to be Abby who was drowning in Alyssa. And I couldn’t stop thinking about it, even as I went late into the night trying to fine-tune the scent combinations to get something that captured her.
I only realized, really, consciously, what was happening when I got a text from Cat. you okay?? headed home??
Christ, she’d been back at the Birdhouse, right in the lion’s den, and I’d neglected her.
She’d gotten herself comfortable and had seemed to settle in with a few people, and when I’d still been paying attention, she’d seemed to be enjoying herself, but she hadn’t even crossed my mind when I’d been leaving.
I groaned, pushing away from the table and typing a reply while I made a cup of tea.
Vanilla chai, splash of almond milk, the way I liked it.
Reminded me a little of that creamy scent on the bottom notes of Alyssa’s perfume.
I spent a minute trying to figure out what to say, and it was only once I was crashed on the couch by the back windows that I sent the reply.
Sorry, I think I got overwhelmed and wasn’t feeling well. I should have checked in with you, but I wasn’t with it. Are you doing okay?
She was typing again right away. God, she was a good friend. Never held a grudge or brooded on a situation. honestly I’m good, it went better than I expected! you and Daniela and Alyssa all showing up for me together I think made the difference. I mean, even Linda was friendly with me lmao??
Thanks to Alyssa. I sighed hard, typing a reply. Linda and Alyssa are really good friends, I think. She must have talked to her beforehand.
She spent a while typing, stopping, typing again, stopping again, and I choked when I saw her message finally come through. you wanted to be dancing with her, didn’t you?
Yes, of course I damn well wanted to dance with her. I wanted to dance with her there, and I wanted to dance with her here, in the quiet of my house, by the low lights of the valley, to those songs she loved, and hear the sound of her laughter as soft as her hands. Who, Linda?
you’re seriously into her.
Linda’s not my type. Not about to fight Charlie for her.
so much for ‘just physical’ lmao have you told her?
Ugh, she wasn’t even pretending to play along. I rubbed the bridge of my nose as I tried to figure out what to say. She’s clearly pretty satisfied with Abby.
she was staring at you the whole time she was dancing with Abby