Chapter 23
Alyssa
I knelt to the ground to snap a picture of the flower, pushing the bushes aside and pushing my phone in to get a closer shot.
A tall shoot of blue scilla flowers, little blossoms that had only just lost the long-nosed look as they’d opened up with the weather finally warm here in Vermont.
I felt like they weren’t the only things opening up as things got warmer here.
“I,” Jade’s voice said from behind me, and I looked up at where she stepped off the hiking trail towards me, away from the others, with a smirk on her face, “for one, am stunned.”
“I know! Sound the alarms,” I said, standing up.
“Alyssa Taylor, stopping mid-hike to take a picture of blue flowers?” She put her hands on her hips. “We’re lucky I didn’t have a stroke out of shock.”
“I mean, god, I’d say. That would suck.” I tugged my hair tie out, letting my ponytail down, and I did it up again, catching all the stray strands that had gone wild while we were hiking.
It was a short route, but probably for the best with a big group—the others were up on the ridge behind us, Daniela and Cat leaning over the old wooden fence looking at us, Linda and Charlie up towards the front of the group with Linda visibly getting impatient over how slow everyone was, Abby, Kaitlyn, and the hipster couple Matt and Skye.
And it was saying something to call someone the hipster couple in Vermont.
I didn’t think they’d ever met a New Age spirituality they didn’t like.
Skye had brought her best few crystals, carefully selected for hiking. I was pretty sure they were just rocks.
And of course, Jade. We’d been playing it cool ever since our evening together at her house—I would have loved to spend every minute at her place, but the town was a dangerous combination of small, nosy, and perceptive, so we stuck to flirting over text and hanging out in group settings, where it still gave me butterflies every time our eyes met.
It was hard to put words to it, because it wasn’t like we were dating, but…
we both knew where things stood. And I was giddy with anticipation waiting for the next time I’d get to kiss her.
What a thing to think while Daniela was looking right at us, though.
“Doing okay?” I whispered, stepping a little closer—I made a production of showing her something on my phone, just so it would look casual to everyone else. “I mean, out with this many people…”
“I know. I normally hit my limit at one human being. A wonder I’m not stroking out right now.”
“That’s not what I mean,” I laughed, swatting her arm. A low laugh bubbled up in her throat, that little smirk on her face tugging at one corner of her lips, and I was so obsessed with it. With everything about her.
“I’m doing all right,” she said. “More worried about Cat than I am about myself. And mostly about Linda and Charlie.”
“Mm…” I almost asked about it—what Linda had said about Jade criticizing their relationship—but luckily I was saved from my own big mouth by Abby calling down after us.
“You two coming up, or do we need to send a rescue party?”
I flashed a smile at Jade. “Well, let me know if you need me to make a scene and take you or Cat to go look at a flower or something.”
She laughed. “Saving the day. My little flower-power superhero. Suits you.”
I really was in deep, because I spent approximately the entire rest of the hike bubbly and floaty over her calling me hers.
It was a beautiful hike, where we got up to the higher points of the ridge and set up at a vantage point just as the sun was getting low on the horizon, and the mountains opened up below us, a sweeping vista rich with the flush of trees in full bloom.
The wind this high up had a cold edge to it, but I couldn’t peel myself away from the viewpoint anyway, even as the others were setting up the gear behind us—not a full camp, but a single tent, a bit of seating and food, a big blanket and a portable stove that of course Daniela was all over.
I was standing there still entranced by the view, taking it all in, when I felt hands on my back.
“Give me a million dollars or I push you to your death,” Cat’s voice said.
I waved over my shoulder, signing hi, Cat, and she came around to lean against a tree.
“Skye was trying to make me help her set up a warding circle or something, so I had to get away. She was using signs I don’t know.
I guess I’m flattered she’s making efforts to include me, but I wish she’d include me in something else. ”
“Oh, so you’re okay with evil spirits invading,” I said. Didn’t know how to sign evil spirits, but I was getting fast at fingerspelling by now. She groaned.
“Oh, god, they’ve gotten to you too now.”
“Come to think of it, your chakras are looking pretty misaligned.”
“Yeah, for sure. I leaned too hard on them one day and pop, knocked it out of alignment so hard it blew my eardrums out. Been deaf ever since.”
“Oh, so that’s what happened.”
She grinned, lowering her voice. “So, you and Jade are cute.”
“What—we’re not cute.” My face burned. “I mean, she’s cute. I mean… not like that. I mean, she is cute like that, but I’m…” I was crashing out. I scratched my head. “It’s not like that.”
Her smile spread wider. “I caught, like, none of that, but I can assume I know what it was.”
“No—you can assume nothing.” I hunched my shoulders, getting back to signing properly. “We’re not… together or anything.”
“She seemed happy after I left you two together for the evening.”
“Which I can’t believe you did.” I hunched my shoulders, my face hot. “I thought we were trying to set up Jade and Daniela!”
She shrugged, her expression turning more serious. “I don’t think Jade likes Daniela that way anymore.”
“Ugh…” I slumped. “Is it because of me?” I said, switching to just signing. She laughed lightly.
“No, I think it’s because they had a falling out and now, even though they’re friends again, it’s hard to overcome that kind of thing emotionally. But Jade being highkey obsessed with you probably contributes too.”
“It’s not… a good idea. I mean, it wouldn’t be even if we did feel that way about each other, which, like…
” I let out an exasperated sigh. I couldn’t tell Cat about Jade’s plans to leave, not if Jade hadn’t told her herself.
And I didn’t agree with her decision not to, but I could see why she made it.
I knew them well enough now to know Cat would move hell and high water to convince her to stay.
Was it so bad if I wanted her to? “I’m not planning to stay in Vermont. ”
“Plan schman.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Daniela told me you were considering places in Vermont.”
“I—” My face prickled, and my hands froze up mid-sign. “It was just an idle thought. I didn’t think she’d go telling people.”
“She did tell me not to tell you she told me, but don’t tell her I told you she told me not to tell you she told me.”
I put a hand to my forehead. “Right. I won’t. Unless I do. I don’t know what you’re asking.”
She relaxed. “She was asking if I had any contacts that might help. Don’t tell her I told you, but she’s been looking for openings for you, too.”
“She…” I blinked fast. “She has?”
I didn’t sign it, and I didn’t think she has was very clear for lipreading, but crucially, Cat didn’t care. She went on anyway. “I haven’t found anything yet, but Daniela’s been talking to some people.”
“I…” My head spun. What was I even supposed to say?
I didn’t think I was cut out for anything serious, and apparently I had half the town looking out for me, trying to find me a job.
And for what? I didn’t know what they wanted in exchange, and it scared me, but I didn’t have time to figure it out, because that was when I heard Skye calling my name, and I looked back at where she stood at the edge of the camp, waving me towards her.
“Alyssa! Come join us, we’re going to do circle and set our intentions!”
“Oh, uh—coming!”
“And tell Cat to come too! She’s been trying to get out of setting intentions!”
Cat groaned. “Was that my name?”
“Do you want to set intentions?”
“My intention is to go take in the scenery. Tell her I fell off the cliffs and died.”
I didn’t tell her that, but I told her Cat was feeling an intense connection to the land and that she wanted to take the time to hold space for nature instead, and Skye and Matt ate it up, so I patted myself on the back for that and called it a day.
As much as I didn’t want to enjoy it, circle was actually kind of nice, all sitting around and sharing our feelings.
Maybe it was more the crisp, fresh air I was enjoying here.
Or maybe it was Jade’s eyes on me from across the circle, doing a good job playing it cool and pretending she wasn’t looking at me too much, but the smoldering presence of her gaze when it met mine was a secret language for just the two of us.
The way she looked at me like I was the only person in the world… it was hard to wrap my head around it.
It reminded me, a little bit, of when I was flying in a dream and I realized I was dreaming. This sense that it was impossible, but that for right now, it was happening, and that was the only thing that mattered. I’d wake up later.