Chapter 25
Alyssa
I was freaking out. I freaked out while I waited for Jade to finish her shower, and I freaked out while I was taking my shower too.
And then, just when I’d gotten the freakout slightly under control, I stepped out of the shower to find a text from Daniela on my phone, and I stood next to the earth-brown tiles of the sink, toweling off while I read it.
Cat’s feeling a bit better. I am SO sorry about stealing the car. You can come back around whenever you want to, she’s also super apologetic about the whole thing and wants to see you again! I’m making dinner to make it up to you.
Well, so she said, but she made dinner for me just about every day. Made me dinner, provided me a home, was helping me find a job, and the moment she turned away to look after somebody else, I was having sex with the girl she liked. Jesus. I wasn’t making it into heaven.
I knew what I should have done. I should have told her great, I’ll be back soon, and then gone and told Jade I had to see Daniela and that I was really sorry, and then I should have played it cool and absolutely not had sex with Jade.
But I wasn’t sure I’d ever wanted something in the way I wanted to touch Jade, to cherish her, and—well, to have something proper, not a quick public fuck against a wall hidden in the bushes. I couldn’t believe I’d even done that.
So I told myself it would be just this once. Because things always ended up being just this once when you told yourself they were.
Jade’s already making dinner for the two of us here, so I think I might just stay over here tonight, if that’s okay?
She dashed out a quick reply. This is how it always is when I try to get a boardgame group together. Nobody suffers like Daniela Holman.
Jesus, she was joking, but she’d probably feel serious about it if she found out what I was actually doing here. I was not thinking about it. I couldn’t. Not now. I’d give Jade everything tonight, and then tomorrow I’d think responsible thoughts.
I groaned as I put my clothes back on—I’d brought an extra pair of underwear, thank god, just because I was paranoid about packing underwear, but everything else was still dirty hiking clothes.
I guess the situation was never perfect.
I dressed how I could, and when I left the bathroom, I heard music streaming out from the living room, where my heart jumped at the sight of Jade, leaning against the window, looking out over the valley at night.
She was so impossibly gorgeous, even dressed casually like this, a dark red henley and leggings, the strong lines of her jaw and the profile of her nose highlighted against the glow through the window.
She glanced over at me, and my heart skipped a beat when her eyes met mine.
“All better?” she said, her voice low, almost disappearing under the music as she pushed off from the wall, strode over towards me. I flashed back to high school dance, to the nerves waiting to see if my crush would ask me to dance. Only this time, she was.
“My clothes are still icky, so I apologize in advance.”
“They’re not exactly dancing clothes either. I’m a bit bigger than you, but if you don’t mind a loose fit, you could wear something of mine.”
I swallowed a nervous flutter. “I… don’t mind a loose fit.”
She smirked, and I let out a tiny, needy whisper when she kissed my cheek. “One second, then,” she said, and she pushed into the bedroom for a minute before she came back with a button-up shirt she held out for me. “Here.”
“Oh, um, thank you. I think my jeans are what are dirtiest, though.”
“It’s a long shirt. Call it a dress.”
Okay. I could do that. I giggled nervously as I took the shirt. “Well… if you insist.”
“Trust me that I do.”
I kept giggling like an idiot as I slipped into the bathroom and got changed, pulling on the shirt that smelled as much like cedar and pine as Jade did.
It was a nice, solid flannel, green and brown check, and it was definitely too long to be a shirt but too short to be a dress.
Not that I minded that right now. The appreciative look Jade gave me when I got back to the living room with her only made it better, and I turned, shyly, showing it off.
“Fashion icon, right?” I said. “Should I do a runway walk?”
“God, you’re so fucking perfect,” she breathed, and it sent tingles all through my body. I swallowed nervously.
“You too.” I held out a hand. “So, um… may I have a dance?”
She slipped her hand into mine. “I was hoping you’d ask,” she said, her eyes gleaming, and I’d never wanted to kiss someone so badly.
She led me towards the center of the floor, where she’d cleared a space with the furniture pushed to the edges, and I fumbled as she led me into a slow rhythm, not a dance yet so much as a step.
Abby had shown me something similar, so I managed to keep up, but I already knew Jade was a whole different class.
“I’ll lead,” she whispered. “Just try to step after my feet to the rhythm. I’ll keep doing a few basic moves, so watch our feet until you’ve got it.”
“You got it, boss.”
She flickered a smile. “Don’t make it weird.”
“I’m nervous,” I laughed.
She smiled wider. “Me too. But doing a dance you know is calming.”
I pushed out a breath, and I followed her in a basic back-and-forth step pattern.
Her hands guided me, small adjustments to my posture, and the casual touches on my hip, on my lower back, moving my arm, had me fluttery all over.
I did get the hang of it before long, and she was right that it was calming, centering.
Just focusing on the movement, one step at a time, like Jade and I were one unit.
Her eyes locked on mine from so close up, the way she smelled, the soft and smooth texture of her skin, her body heat against mine…
She added in another movement, walking us slowly backwards in her direction, and then backwards in mine, and I picked it up quicker than I expected, our steps syncing up.
Something about the way she touched me, moved me, led me, it felt like I was an extension of her in a beautifully blissful way, and it wasn’t long before we were turning slowly over the floor, not a word between us but everything being spoken in the way she gazed into my eyes.
Nobody had ever looked at me like that before. Nobody.
“Alyssa?” she whispered as a song came to a close and we settled in the center of the floor. I shivered.
“Yes?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Oh, wow.” I bit my lip, and I nodded quickly, every part of me filled with butterflies.
“I want to hear you say yes.”
I swallowed, a dreamy sensation flooding me. “I want to kiss you.”
“That’s not technically yes.”
“Okay, stop nitpicking and kiss me.”
She laughed, and she leaned in, her lips finding mine, and I felt it like a first kiss all over again—as if we hadn’t already kissed, as if I’d never kissed anyone in my life, spectacular and indescribable.
It started slow, soft, delicate, and it grew more passionate, more possessive, small nips and pecks turning into full-blown kissing, and I collapsed into her, feeling her strong arms holding me steady as our lips melted together.
Her hands caressed over my back, feeling every part of me, roaming against the billowy fabric, and I moaned when she slipped one hand down to my thigh below the shirt, trailing her fingertips over my skin like she’d never felt anything more perfect.
“Oh, god, Jade,” I whispered, pulling back just enough to breath, my eyes still closed, my lips quivering.
“Do you want more?” she breathed, and I nodded, eyes slowly opening.
“Yes… yes please. I want to give you everything tonight. If… that’s okay.”
She tightened her grip on me, just a fraction.
“I’ve never wanted anything more than that,” she said, her voice a silky promise in my ear, and I murmured blissfully in agreement.
She slipped her hand into mine, and I went with her like we were in a dream as she led me towards the bedroom, where the windows cast long strands of moonlight over an old four-poster bed wrapped in thick flannel sheets, candles on the nightstands.
Of course there were candles on the nightstands.
She paused to light a few of them strategically, casting a soft, flickering glow through the room, already starting to smell like cinnamon and sandalwood, and she put her hands on my arms, walking me back until I sat on the foot of the bed.
“Tell me what you want, Alyssa,” she said, her eyes locked on mine, and I made a soft, needy noise in the back of my throat.
“Well… you.”
“I’m so glad you’re not thinking of someone else right now. You’d better not have been thinking of Abby while we were dancing,” she teased, touching her fingertips under my chin. I giggled nervously.
“I don’t think I remember a single face I’ve ever seen except for yours right now.”
“Okay, that’s a line.” She bent down and kissed me again, and she eased me slowly onto my back.
The bed yielded gently below me, and I felt my breath leave me when Jade lowered herself down on top of me, pinning me down against the bed.
“What do you like?” she said. “Do you want to take the lead? Or should I?”
“We can take turns. I want to experience all of it.”
She laughed softly, blush spilling out over her cheeks. “We can do that.”
“Does that work for you?” My chest ached with nerves, and she matched the nerves with her smile.
“I’ve never really let someone else take control. Not because I’m not into it, but just… I’ve never been with a girl who wanted to do it.”
“Okay, thank god I’m not the only one who’ll be nervous then,” I laughed, and she laughed with me before she settled into me, kissing me softly, sweetly, adoringly, and my head spun at how this was even happening right now. She tugged on my shirt.
“Can I take this off?”
“Yes. Please.”