Chapter Thirty-One
I WAS MOMENTS AWAY FROM brEAKING.
I’d imagined this day so many times.
It’d been the only thing that kept me going.
The only purpose I’d had left.
To return. To repay. To reap vengeance.
But as I stood on the cliff edge—so close to my ancestral home that I could hear the bamboo windchimes singing and smell marinated meat barbecuing—instead of feeling relief, all I felt was rage.
Fire tore through me like a fault line splitting open, ripping up my spine and detonating behind my eyes. My vision washed red as my pulse slammed hard enough to hurt—each beat feeding the flames until I inched closer to detonation.
Burning.
Fuck, I was burning.
I wanted to go on a rampage.
I wanted to build a pyre full of the bodies of traitors and set it on fire.
I would burn them all.
I would slaughter and purge and—
A cold, perfect hand wriggled its way into my clenched fist.
A shock of winter blizzarded through me, making my heart hitch.
It was instantaneous.
Her snowy presence blew straight through the madness clawing at my skull. The red haze thinned. The roar in my ears dimmed...reminding me of where I was and why I couldn’t break.
Dragging in a shaky breath, I snatched her hand so tightly she whimpered.
Even knowing I’d hurt her, I couldn’t let go. Yanking her against me with brutal force, I locked her in my arms as if she was the only thing keeping me from razing Ashfall Cliff to the ground.
Whisper growled as my arms hugged her tight enough to bruise—warning me to be gentle. Rook sucked in a breath as I buried my face into her neck—dragging her frosty, delicious scent into my lungs.
She wriggled against me, trying to find a comfortable position in my cage. Her palms landed hesitantly on my lower back, her heart hammering against mine.
I hated the distance that’d formed between us.
I hated that I couldn’t keep my distance.
She tied me into fucking knots and unless she helped undo them soon, I would go certifiably insane.
“You’re okay...” she whispered, stroking my back and delivering wakes of chilled relief. “I’ve got you. Just don’t blow up your home before you even step through the front door, okay?”
Smoke feathered from my shoulders, vanishing into the air as I held her, breathing her in, bathing in her coldness.
The helicopter finally took off, whipping us with wind and grit as it swooped into the valley. In the ringing silence left behind—standing in front of the stone dragon that’d protected my family for generations—I almost gave in.
Almost told her that I didn’t care if she was the reason I was burning.
As long as she never stopped touching me—as long as she never left me—then...fine.
I wouldn’t get angry.
I wouldn’t get even.
I’d just—
“You know...” Rook squirmed in my embrace.
“I’ve been lucky enough to see many historical sites around the world and lived in luxury most of my life, yet that.
..” She successfully wriggled out of my hold and arched her chin at the stone dragon.
“I can’t get over how lifelike it looks.
Its eye seems alive instead of carved from rock. ”
I suspected she redirected my attention to distract me, but a lamenting musical note rang out as air played in the dragon’s flowing whiskers, dumping me into painful memories of my mother.
She’d often told me stories of Qingxiang Long—also known as Whispering Dragon.
She made the stone beast come alive with tales of it flying to the lake, bathing in the moonlight, and dining on deer before returning at dawn to protect us.
My heart folded in on itself, layers upon layers of guilt and regret and loss.
I’d spent twenty years in Cinderkeep hating my parents for taking the easy way out and leaving me to suffer in their place, but...I couldn’t stop the hottest swell of gratitude.
I thought they’d abandoned me. However, they’d also done their best to protect me. If my father hadn’t arranged the Sovereign Retrieval service and drilled me to remember the numbers necessary to save my life, I wouldn’t be standing here now.
Whisper suddenly hissed beside me.
I caught his gaze as he pawed at my leg. His feline sensitivity knew I’d fallen into familiar patterns of grief and blame, but then his hackles bristled, revealing he was still pissed about the forced helicopter ride.
“I’m sorry.” I scratched his flicking ear. “It won’t happen again.”
He grumbled, the soft sound eerily similar to the lamenting song formed by the wind playing in Qingxiang Long’s whiskers.
I froze, glancing between the dragon and panther.
His name.
I’d almost forgotten I’d called him Whisper because of Qingxiang Long.
I’d named the tiny panther kitten that’d saved me after the guardian Whispering Dragon of Ashfall Cliff because I’d hoped—when I was all alone and so, so afraid—that he would grow up and become a living embodiment of the protector I’d lost the day I was taken from China.
A surge of heat worked through my blood as Whisper purred, leaning into my scratches, all my sins forgiven.
I wouldn’t be alive without him.
I wouldn’t have survived.
“Thank you,” I breathed, hoping only he would hear me.
The giant predator cocked his head, held my stare, and seemed to know exactly what I was thanking him for.
He licked my hand with his sandpaper tongue, and I made the mistake of looking at Rook.
The second our eyes locked, a rift cracked right through my chest.
Heat billowed, need burned, desperation arrowed directly between my legs—
Stone groaned. Metal shrieked. The gates of Ashfall Cliff wrenched open.
Stepping away from her, I tried to smother the feelings she’d caused, only to change my mind and snatch her close. Her eyebrows rose as I leaned in. “Don’t leave my side, understand?”
She nodded, flicking a look at the two people who’d stepped over the threshold, coming toward us on the barren clifftop.
“I’m clinging to the edge, Rook. I truly don’t know how much longer I can hold on and the only thing that stops me from losing control is you so...help me.”
Glancing at the two visitors, I blanched as the rage inside me reignited, not able to tell friend or foe anymore. “Don’t let me hurt them.”
Rook merely nodded, stepping a little closer with a determined look in her eyes. “I swear to you, Lucien, I won’t let you do anything you’ll regret.”
I held her stare.
I tried to thank her...
My tongue refused.
Wrenching away, I glowered at my birthright and the two people shuffling closer. The elderly woman walked with her arm looped through an equally weathered man who limped slightly and leaned on a cane. They made eye contact with me but offered no smile.
The distance between us was enough that they thought they were out of listening range...unfortunately for them, they weren’t.
Leaning into the man, the woman whispered, “Who is it, Wen? Where in the heavens did they come from?”
“You can see for yourself, wife. It’s a maniac with a jaguar,” he replied, both speaking Mandarin.
“What the hell are they doing up here? Tell them to go away.”
“Calm down. I’m getting to that.”
Their voices sounded mildly familiar, tugging on foggy memories.
“Well, be quick about it!” She shuddered as she looked at Whisper.
“There are far too many lunatics these days and they’re incredibly rude for spying over our wall with that flying contraption.
Did you see what they did to the cherry blossom that Meilin planted?
I have a good mind to kick them off the cliff. ”
“I’m with you on that.” The old man nodded sagely. “We don’t tolerate any outsiders up here. Especially after what happened.”
“Tell Steward Lin to trigger the security system.” The woman tugged on the man’s arm. “Bet they won’t lurk about when bullets start firing.”
“We can’t just kill them, wife.”
“Why not? You said it yourself that they’re outsiders and outsiders killed the entire Yunhui Dynasty. Including poor little Luxin.”
I staggered a little as their conversation became personal, revealing who they were.
Fuck, I never expected to see them again. Never even dreamed they were still alive.
Rook shifted even closer as if she sensed my rapidly fraying mental health.
I could feel her even without touching her—cool and sharp, soothing the edges of my burning like snow falling over a forest fire.
It irritated me.
Grounded me.
Proved that no matter what I became or how dangerous I was...she’d collared, shackled, and ruined me.
Grabbing her wrist, I placed her behind me as the couple finally drew to a stop before us and I hoped to God I wouldn’t hurt them.