Chapter Forty-One
FOR ONE WEIGHTLESS MOMENT, I FLEW.
The mountain spat me out of its battering sluice, ejecting me into the sky with its thundering waterfall. My gaze fell on the Nujiang Gorge in the distance, the huge expanse glittering with moonlight, snaking leisurely through the Gaoligong mountains.
And then, I plummeted.
I hit hard—smacking against the river’s surface before slipping beneath and sinking. It took too much effort to keep breathing. All my willpower to just hold on.
My nerves howled as water touched what should never be touched—drowning the inner workings of my flayed body.
I kicked and swam to the surface, breaking the frigid water and gasping down air. The roar of the Burning Phoenix falls thundered behind me. Its mist and rain pummelled my shoulders, threatening to tear the rest of my skin off my bones.
But it was my heart that threatened to kill me—cruel and urgent, forcing me to hurry, hurry, hurry.
Swimming as fast as I could, I flowed downstream, buffeted by currents and hitting my legs on the occasional submerged rock.
I couldn’t see her.
Couldn’t sense her.
“ROOK!”
My voice was stolen by the night—carried away by the river as I fought to stay conscious. My torn skin lost its shield of ice and throbbed.
The banks blurred past on either side—dark walls of trees and ferns and flowers.
High above me, the jagged silhouettes of the mountains seemed to mock me. I felt as if I was at the mercy and entertainment of long forgotten gods.
I searched desperately.
Every floating branch and patch of moonlight.
But nothing.
The summoning in my heart was getting weaker. Panic crawled up my throat with every stroke as the river pulled me further downstream.
“Rook!” I choked as the current slammed me into a boulder, toying with my already brutalised ribs. I sank for a moment, using up the last of my strength to keep going.
Fighting for the surface, I spluttered and coughed but then...
My gaze snagged on a pale shape caught in moonshine up ahead.
She drifted near the bank, tangled against a snag of half-submerged branches. Her hair streamed like black seaweed, her body limp and wrong. Deep wounds sliced all over her, shredding her white clothes, her blood black in the night.
“ROOK!”
I swam with everything I had left.
The nearer I got, the colder the water became.
Cold enough to chill the fire in my blood.
Cold enough to freeze.
Snowflakes spread out from her, decorating the churning water with a delicate web, cocooning her in the centre. The air spiralled above her with a mini snowstorm, trapping her in a coffin made of ice.
Smashing my elbow through the thickening frost, I snatched her. The second my hand locked around her wrist, everything stopped.
Something aligned.
Something locked.
Pure euphoria and absolute terror tangled together, bursting out of my chest.
I couldn’t explain how she affected me. Didn’t have the words. All I could think of was...finally.
Finally.
Finally, I’d found her. Found who I was meant to find. Found what I’d been missing...ever since I’d been born.
Shuddering, I dragged her into my arms. The ice that’d formed around her vanished instantly. Pushing tangled hair off her face, I tapped her cheek. She refused to wake up. Her skin was deathly pale. Lips blue. Eyes half-lidded and empty.
“Rook—” I shook her as that impossible connection between us threatened to disappear just as suddenly as it’d begun. Hauling her against me, I swam for shore.
I didn’t stop until I’d dragged her onto the leaf-littered earth. She lay boneless and barely breathing as I pressed my ear to her mouth, my cheek to her chest.
The faintest heartbeat—
Instinct took over.
“Breathe.” Gripping her shoulders, I shook her, only to watch her head bounce like a broken toy. Letting her go, I sank my teeth into my mangled wrist.
Strange gold-tinted blood welled.
A droplet landed on the bracken, sizzling instantly with smoke.
I froze.
I’d drawn enough of my blood to know that wasn’t normal. I’d spent my life believing Marcus harvested as much as he did because it had the power to heal but...what if it was the opposite? What if it had changed? What if I made her worse?
That bond between us went scarily silent, making the decision for me.
Pressing my wrist to her mouth, I cradled her head and begged, “Rook, open your eyes and swallow. You have to swallow.”
She didn’t obey, and I lost myself.
Bringing my wrist to my own mouth, I sucked as much as I could. Folding over her, I pressed my lips to hers and transferred the metallic mouthful, only for it to dribble down her chin.
“Please,” I whispered. “Please, don’t do this.”
Frost feathered out from her unconscious form, flash-freezing the rotten leaves beneath.
A surge of fire erupted from me, washing over her like a blast of summer. The ice instantly melted and...she moaned.
My heart hitched violently.
Dragging her into my lap, I ignored my cracked and bleeding hands as I shifted her enough to be able to hover my mouth over hers.
I felt her.
Felt the faintest tickle of her life-force brushing mine, dimming, slipping—
“Don’t you fucking dare.” Grabbing her by the jaw, I hinged her mouth open and pressed my lips to hers, exhaling a lungful of oxygen directly into her.
Her lungs didn’t even expand.
Wet bubbles appeared, hinting her lungs held water instead of air.
“Fuck!” Pure terror gave me strength to get to my feet and haul her into my arms. I needed her head below her chest. I needed gravity.
Spinning in place, I spotted a fallen tree in the dark—the trunk horizontal and covered in moss. Carrying her to it, I draped her limp body face-down over the trunk, ensuring her torso hung over the other side, her arms dangling, and hair dripping onto the bushes.
Raising my hand, I hesitated for a heartbeat.
I didn’t want to hurt her but...I couldn’t let her die.
Taking a deep breath, I slammed my palm between her shoulder blades.
She jerked but remained lifeless.
I did it again, shifting her further over the trunk until her forehead almost skimmed the ground.
“Come on,” I growled, hitting her again. Harder this time. With my fist instead of my palm.
She moaned. A thin stream of water dribbled out.
Not enough.
Not nearly enough.
“That’s it. Come on.”
That strange bond in my heart caught fire, filling me with urgency as her soul flickered against mine, wanting to stay but fading, fading—
“You can hate me for this when you wake.” I hit her. Hard.
She jackknifed over the tree. A torrent of bloody water burst free.
I waited to see if she would keep retching.
But she went still instead.
That awful sensation of her leaving me wrapped viciously around my throat.
Still not enough. Not all of it.
“Again.”
I struck her. I whacked her hard enough to break a rib or two, forcing every last dreg to expel in a gush.
“Breathe. Breathe and—”
She gagged as her body jerked in a seizure.
“Shit.” Snatching her off the trunk, I placed her on the ground and tipped her chin up. Sucking in a huge breath, I sealed my mouth over hers and forced as much air as I could into her.
This time, her chest rose before collapsing.
“Wake the fuck up, Rook.” I breathed into her again.
I pinched her nose and kissed her hard, forcing all the oxygen I could deep, deep into her cells.
She spasmed and moaned but I kept breathing for her. Drowning her in air. Fighting with the grim reaper because no way in hell was I giving her to him.
She convulsed.
Pushing her onto her side, I patted her back as another trickle of water came up. But then blood followed. She coughed—a thick river of blackened crimson that torrented over her lips and stained the leaf-littered ground.
Ice flashed in her spilled blood, killing everything.
A tearing sensation ripped through my chest.
I doubled over with it—my heart threatening to burst with despair.
She choked on more blood, the black thickness becoming frothy instead. Pink bubbles painted her lips before rolling down her cheeks. She moaned and flopped onto her back.
My eyes caught on her legs. On the way they stayed crossed and...unnatural.
No...
My stomach hollowed out.
My gaze dragged upward, slow and unwilling, cataloguing the damage I’d refused to see.
Her back was kinked, the line of her spine no longer straight but.
..broken. Deep abrasions sliced into her from where the whirlpool had chewed her up and spat her out.
One side of her torso was punctured—ragged and dark, bubbling with blood each time she tried to suck in a painful breath.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” My hands hovered, terrified to touch her in case I made it worse. And I’d thrown her over a goddamn tree! I’d hit her. I’d made things a thousand times worse. Even if I had the best doctor in the world—even if they operated immediately—they wouldn’t be able to save her.
An animalistic sound tore free.
I’d failed her. Left her to suffer and—
Her chest hitched as she choked for breath. Her lungs made a wet, rattling sound as more pink foam appeared on her lips. Every part of her quaked as she entered the death throes...everything twitched apart from her useless legs.
My throat closed as I fought the urge to cry.
I hadn’t cried since I was thirteen, yet now...even sobbing wouldn’t relieve the catastrophic helplessness I felt at watching the girl I’d fallen irreversibly in love with...die.
My cracked hands balled.
No.
I wouldn’t accept this.
I would never accept a world where she didn’t exist.
Grabbing the nearest rock, I dragged it fatally deep along the underside of my charred forearm. I snagged on the stitches that’d stopped me bleeding in the bed and breakfast. I tore open everything. I would happily die here...trading my life for hers.
Blood poured free—thick and luminous, gleaming scarlet-gold as it splashed hot and fast to the ground. Little flames appeared where it landed, igniting the decaying leaves. They shrivelled into ash a moment later, killed by whatever lurked in my veins.
Rolling her over, ignoring how her legs refused to cooperate, I pressed my arm against the hole in her side—the hole popping and wheezing with every fading breath.
She cried out as my blood mingled with hers, dripping inside her—going straight to the source of her death.
She twitched as my blood took over.
She groaned as it started to work—little plumes of smoke rising from the puncture between her ribs. She tried to get away but with a broken back, she didn’t have a choice as I grabbed her soul with both hands and yanked her back from the netherworld.
Only once enough blood had filled her damaged lung did I move to other areas.
I fed golden-red into the slashes on her chest, her arms, her cheek. Shifting closer, I brought my arm to my mouth and sucked.
Hot, scalding copper drowned my tongue, my life-force pumping out far too fast. I turned lightheaded and weak, but I’d give it all to her if it worked.
I folded over her and hesitated.
She coughed again, in the final stages of drowning. Blood sprayed over her chin, painting her lips a glossy red. For a second, I swore it glittered silver—shimmering with a sterling hue as if tiny snowflakes swirled in her life-force.
I shook my woozy head, leaned down, and sealed my lips over hers.
I let go of the mouthful I held.
She coughed and fed me a mouthful of hers.
And—
Fate detonated.
Blood to blood.
Soul to soul.
Power roared through me, through us, fire and ice crashing together in a blinding supernova that tore a scream from my throat.
She tasted like heaven and winter and ruin, flooding every sense at once, shattering me, breaking me, remaking me. Lightning ripped across my tongue, silver and sharp and the best fucking thing I’d ever tasted.
The pain I’d suffered.
The fire I burned with.
The decades of misery and years of torture.
All gone.
Power howled.
No longer restrained or contained, it broke every bone in my body and rebuilt me.
Rebuilt her.
The bond we shared unravelled into full force, and everything prior to this felt so weak and tame and mortal. This new shivery awareness felt elemental and unstoppable as her energy bulldozed through me.
I trembled as my sanity blew apart.
I gasped as my body started to heal.
I itched and ached and throbbed and burned, but it was nothing to the awe of feeling her.
I felt her heartbeat stutter before slamming back into furious rhythm.
Felt her lung knitting together.
Felt her spine—bone grinding against bone, realigning, reforming, restoring everything that’d been broken.
I wasn’t prepared.
Wasn’t equipped.
Desire cleaved me in two. Savage desperation to keep her, make her mine, finish what we’d started.
I needed her.
I needed to be inside her, just like my blood was. I needed her to accept the joining, the binding, the lock.
Because I’d surrendered the second I’d felt it and from this day, to my last day, she was mine.
Rook suddenly flung her newly healed arms around my neck, feeling the same rapture of want. Her hands landed in my hair, yanking me down as her icy power sundered through me, tearing through every blockage, every scar, every limit my body had ever known.
It freed me.
Released me.
I groaned and plunged my tongue into her mouth as my cracked and charred skin sealed and healed.
I tasted everything she was.
I drowned on snowfalls and starlight.
Her energy flooded me, intoxicating and inevitable, sinking into every hollow place, rewriting everything I was and making sure I was nothing but hers.
My self-control snapped.
The blood-laced kiss we’d shared turned into a breathless war of teeth and tongues.
Power spiralled between us, battling each other, clashing with fire and frost.
It grew stronger and stronger as we kissed faster and faster.
The hunger was unbearable.
The need absolutely maddening.
We were both driven to a disastrous edge.
An edge that promised total destruction if we didn’t stop.
But we couldn’t stop.
Wouldn’t stop.
I tore at her soaking clothes and let go.