Chapter Forty-Two #2
A thousand and one questions about what had happened to me and why I was no longer in agony but...him.
God, him.
I melted into his control as he captured my mouth again, assaulting me and worshipping me, his hand skating down my body to settle over the scrap of lace called underwear. His tongue corrupted mine just as his fingers stroked me over the fabric, making me jerk against his chest.
My fingers clawed at his back, demanding more, immediately.
Obeying me, he continued kissing me all while his fingers slid to my hips, tugging the lace down my thighs. I wriggled in eager help, shoving them off and flicking them away with my foot.
He fell on me again the moment they flew through the air.
He kissed me ever so deeply as his fingers found my centre, stroking my wetness and electrifying me with a single caress.
“Fuck...” He rubbed me slowly, causing coils of pleasure. “You’re cold everywhere but here...you’re burning.”
I whimpered against his criminally erotic mouth as he slid a single finger inside me, slowly, maddeningly, as if he had centuries in which to break me.
My entire body clenched around him, making him hiss and sink deeper, not stopping until he’d claimed all of me.
I lay panting, needing.
The slightest sting tugged deep inside, warning that just because I wanted to lose my virginity by a river with a man who wasn’t entirely human...didn’t mean I wouldn’t pay.
I scowled at the thought.
I didn’t want pain.
I’d had so much pain. Too much pain. I just wanted pleasure. I just wanted to let go and enjoy instead of fearing what should be the best moment of my life.
I tensed as he withdrew, using my wetness to rub that sensitive bundle of nerves that promised I could unravel in a heartbeat.
Almost as if he sensed my building nerves, he eased two fingers inside me, stopping the moment he couldn’t go any further. He didn’t speak...just accepted my body’s obstruction and fell on me with another deliciously deep kiss, scattering my worry and making my hips rise for more.
“I’ll never get used to how you feel,” he murmured against my mouth, sinking a mind-melting finger back inside me. “How silky and surprisingly strong.” He curled his touch against my inner walls, finding that perfect spot.
My thighs locked around his wrist, trembling as he shoved me smugly to the edge.
I cried out as he pressed his thumb on my clit, shoving me over and sending me shattering into a million fractals. His mouth sealed over mine, swallowing my cries as I came.
His finger thrust in time with my release, shoving me deeper into the vortex, wringing every ripple dry. And at the pinnacle—at that very moment where my heart stopped and I would gladly die if I could live in such euphoria—coldness surged.
He grunted as the icy storm blasted into him, drowning his heat and fireworking above us with lightning crackles and snow clouds.
My eyes opened, anxiety filling me—
He kept going.
Kept working his hand between my legs—making me find pleasure within pleasure, drowning me with bliss as he tore his mouth from mine and pressed his forehead against my temple as if my orgasm broke him.
I shuddered as I slowly came down from heaven.
The swirling snowflakes quickly melted with the thermals wisping off him.
His breath was tattered and hot in my ear, his hips pressed along my thigh, grinding his hardness against me as if he burned alive with agonising need.
The intimacy of the way he held me.
The sheer surrender in how he silently begged me.
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t let him be in pain.
Shifting a little, I caught his stare as I pressed my hand inside his open trousers and found him. No underwear. No obstruction. Neither of us was expecting the sizzle and stinging electricity of finally touching him.
His eyes snapped closed as his head fell back, exposing the powerful sweep of his throat. My fingers wrapped tight—just like they had that day in his bedroom when he’d used me to find his release.
He shuddered as I ran my thumb along the damp tip.
He growled as I stroked him.
He was impossibly soft yet ridiculously hard and the longer I pleasured him, the hotter he became. Every muscle in his chest roped with tension. His belly flexed as he panted. His jaw clenched as he choked on curses.
But he didn’t try to stop me.
He let me torture him, getting bolder and firmer as I learned what he liked.
I snuggled against him and pressed the softest kiss to his Adam’s apple.
He snarled at the stars as his arms banded around me, suffocating me against him, barely giving my hand enough space to stroke.
“Fuck, that feels...that feels—” A ripple worked from the base of him as he pinned me onto my back and kissed me.
I lost track of what my hand was doing as we became nothing more than tangled tongues and lust.
His hips thrust into my hand, giving everything to me and...I couldn’t take it anymore.
“I-I need you,” I moaned. “Now.”
Pulling away from me, he no longer looked human but demonic. Smoke licked from his shoulders, trapping us in our own version of hell.
“But I’ll hurt you...” He massacred the words, his teeth still clenched together as if it took every drop of willpower to hold himself back.
“I don’t care.”
And I didn’t.
I suddenly didn’t care if being with him hurt worse than everything else combined.
“I need you,” I repeated. “I need you, Lucien. I need you so, so badly.”
He kicked his trousers off.
His scalding nakedness utterly consumed me as he settled between my legs. With a snarl, he grabbed a handful of my thigh, yanking my leg to hook over his hip, opening me even wider. “Then you’ll fucking have me.”
I reached between us and fisted him.
His entire body jerked; his nostrils flaring as he struggled to breathe. Planting his elbows on either side of my head, our eyes locked as I guided the head of his cock to my entrance.
Neither of us rushed.
Neither of us looked away.
My heart pounded, pounded as the hot steel of him nudged the warm silkiness of me.
A guttural groan tore from his throat as he fell on me in a ravenous, ruining kiss. All I could focus on was his heat and weight, holding himself on that knife-edge of taking me.
I squeezed his erection—
A shudder worked down his back as he slapped my hand away.
Fisting himself, he pulled away just enough to look down at me.
His eyes burned, no longer just ringed with scarlet but glowing bright red.
“The moment I met you...” He notched himself inside me, spreading me far more than his finger did.
“I feared you’d be the one to finally kill me.
” He sank in the barest inch. “And here you are...” He hovered his mouth over mine. “...killing me.”
Pushing inside me until he reached that barrier, he quaked as he let his cock go and fisted both hands in my hair. He stayed perfectly still, pressing the softest kisses to my lips as if he was worshipping me instead of about to fuck me in the dirt.
“This is going to hurt...” he whispered. “And it kills me that I’ll be the one hurting you.”
I couldn’t catch a proper breath, needing him to do it, hurt me, take me.
“I’m past the point of caring.” I dug my fingernails into his ass, trying to pull him down. “Do it. Please.”
His muscles flexed as he fought me, his elbows digging deeper into the ground. “I’m trying to decide if I do it fast or slow.” He nuzzled my nose with his. “Tell me, Rook. How should I fuck you for our first time?”
I had no logical explanation for how wild he made me, only that I needed him to breathe, to function, to exist.
“I don’t care,” I snapped, wild with hunger. “Just do it.” My hips arched up, seeking, begging. “Please, Lucien. Do it. Take me. Please just—”
“Fuck.” He surged inside me with one tearing impale. Thick and hard, deep and thrusting. He didn’t protect me or treat me gently—almost as if he wanted to get it over with as fast as possible.
It was both the best and worst thing I’d ever felt.
Something tore.
Something ripped.
I screamed as my body split and yielded, becoming his with the brightest flare of agony.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He didn’t move, holding himself deep, deep inside me—stretching me unbearably, condemning me to feel every sting of his claiming.
And the pain didn’t stop.
I wanted it to stop.
I wanted pleasure to replace agony, but it didn’t.
After a lifetime of suffering, I couldn’t help shifting beneath him, wanting him to give me some space...just for a moment.
Tears came to my eyes for ruining this.
For taking something so special and making him feel like a beast.
As if he sensed my discomfort, he captured my mouth in the sweetest kiss and...withdrew.
“No,” I mumbled against his lips. “Don’t go. I don’t want you to stop.”
“Hush.” Tilting his head, he brought his hand to his mouth. Never looking away from me, he sank his teeth into his healed flesh. His eyebrows knitted together as he broke the skin and didn’t say a word as he pulled his finger free—revealing golden-tinted blood on the tip.
“What are you...?” I trailed off as his shoulder dipped and his hand disappeared between my trembling legs.
I gasped as he pressed his bleeding finger inside me.
I clutched his shoulders as he found that stinging tear deep within.
And I froze as the pain suddenly vanished in a sizzling wash of heat.
His forehead furrowed as he touched every part of me, curling his finger, seeking out every piece that he’d broken.
He healed me...and good God, I couldn’t stand it.
I couldn’t survive the level of intimacy and care. How he put my needs over his, even though he quaked with hunger so intense, the tips of his hair kept catching fire.
“Better?” He pressed a second finger inside me, loosening a curse as he found both penetrated deeply with no barrier to stop them.
I was beyond speech.
Past words.
Grabbing his wrist, I yanked his touch away and dug my claws into his hip.
He smirked as I jerked him back where he belonged.
He snarled as I wrapped my fingers around his cock and placed him exactly where I wanted him.
And then he roared as he claimed me in a single thrust.
And.
It.
Was.
Glorious.