Chapter Forty-Eight #2
I didn’t answer right away. My mind slipped back into the past, through memories and lab notes, doing my best to recall something from my childhood that would hint at Lucien’s origins.
But...as far as I knew, my parents had only ever experimented on animals.
And not just the typical lab creature but beasts such as oxen, bears, and even a Komodo dragon.
I hadn’t been allowed into that part of the lab after I’d burst into tears seeing a snow leopard being—
I sat bolt upright; the terrace wobbled a little thanks to the wine. “Where did you say you got Whisper from?”
Lucien frowned at my sudden upright position. “Marcus threw him into Cinderkeep when I had my first mental breakdown. Why?” He didn’t sit up but his entire body tensed.
I eyed the sleepy predator sprawled between us. “And how old is he?”
“Fifteen or so.” He watched me carefully, waiting for me to explain my sudden interest. “Why?”
“Pretty sure big cats in the wild only live ten to twelve. And maybe upward of twenty in captivity.”
“So?”
“So...Snowflake Corp has a history of experimenting on predators and large mammals because their genetic makeup was better able to withstand the immortality trials.”
He shot upright. “You think he came from your labs?!”
“I’m thinking...it might be possible?” I shrugged as Whisper raised his head and looked at both of us. “I mean...he’s always been a little extra, hasn’t he? What if they made you and then made you a special kind of pet...”
“I think the wine has gone to your head.”
“God, I agree,” I groaned. “It all sounds crazy.”
“More than crazy.”
“Just ignore me.”
But Lucien never took his eyes off Whisper. Either he had to face facts that his beloved panther only had a few years left...or he accepted that Marcus had been working with someone in my company and Whisper wasn’t just a random kitten tossed into Cinderkeep when Lucien needed him the most.
“You keep driving me to drink, woman,” he finally muttered, tossing back the rest of his cup before reaching for the rapidly diminishing collection of earthen jars on the side table. Shaking an empty one, he scowled before finding one still with alcohol.
“You know...” I said, doing my best to change the subject. “Those little earthen jars were my favourite part of being thrown in Cinderkeep. If I could’ve bought them at a supermarket, I would’ve had a drinking problem.”
He smirked and held out his drink, waiting for me to toast. “Lucky for you, you can have them whenever you want now. Gan bei.”
“Gan bei?” I took a mouthful, my lips a little numb and cheeks a little warm. I hadn’t started slurring yet, and the mountains stayed upright, so I wasn’t that bad...hopefully.
“It means cheers.” He shot me a smile. “It literally translates to dry cup.”
“So...Mandarin is your first language.”
He nodded and closed his eyes.
We fell into companionable silence again. The urge to take a nap right there made my eyelashes heavy, but Whisper yawned and suddenly sprang to his feet. Prowling to the other side of my lounger, he planted both paws on the edge and went to spring—
“Don’t even think about it.” Lucien didn’t bother opening his eyes. The damn man had a sixth sense when it came to the panther and his mischief-making. “There’s not enough room for both of you.”
“Aww, I don’t mind.” Inching to the side, I patted where my legs used to be. “There you go, tiny tabby.”
Whisper smirked and leapt up, flopping down beside me. He was almost as hot as his master. I smooshed his giant face, pressing a kiss on his perfectly healed nose. “You’re adorable and I love you.”
Lucien growled under his breath. “You know...I got irrationally furious at him for falling in love with you in Cinderkeep.”
I froze mid-scratch. “You did?”
His gaze met mine, inky hair falling seductively over his forehead. “That damn cat abandoned me the moment he set eyes on you. He left me to suffer alone while he slept in your bed.”
I chuckled and tugged on Whisper’s ear. “What a little traitor.”
Lucien huffed. “Either that or you’re just lethal. To both of us.”
The air shimmered with heat as his voice lowered. “It wasn’t just him who fell for you, though. Seems I hit the ground so hard, I’m still recovering.” He took another drink. “From the first moment I met you...I knew you were trouble.”
My heart wobbled. My soul flew. And I didn’t know if I was drunk on wine or him. A few stray snowflakes danced in his heat, cancelling us both out.
“You ran in the wrong direction.” He stared into his glass as if his thoughts were back in Cinderkeep. “Everyone else clung together like frightened sheep, yet you bolted alone. I remember thinking you were either an idiot, up to something, or just plain suicidal.”
“So...” I giggled, warm and fuzzy inside. “What you’re really trying to say is...you fell in love with me at first sight?”
“I felt something, that’s for sure.” He flashed me a savage smile. “It was probably just indigestion.”
I matched his grin. “Probably.”
Looking at the happy panther pressed against my legs, he ran his finger over the lip of his cup. “When Whisper dragged me to heal you that first time, I genuinely considered killing you.”
I choked on a mouthful of plum sweetness—or was it apple.
He chuckled and took another sip. “I wanted to kill you, not because you were like them, but because you were different. You were annoyingly not like the rest, and I didn’t know what to do with that.”
“I recall you said you kept me alive because I was, what was the word you used...‘infuriating?’”
“You were. You are.”
“Meh.” I tugged Whisper’s velvety ear. “It worked though, didn’t it? I’m still alive and now you adore me.”
He ignored my quip, staying firmly in the past—almost as if he needed to tell me how he felt back then. “The day you started cleaning for me, I didn’t want to leave the room while you were there.”
“That’s because you probably thought I’d steal something.”
He scowled.
“I’m sorry,” I snickered. “Please...go ahead. Tell me all the reasons why you never let me out of your sight when I was in your quarters.”
“Easy.” He shrugged. “Because everything about you affected me. It wasn’t even the fact you could ease my pain.
It was like...my entire soul just calmed down.
Like it’d been searching for you all this time.
” He pressed the heel of his palm against the warped piece of metal over his heart.
“When those girls hurt you, I wanted to rip out their eyes and feed them to them. Whenever you were sad or afraid, it felt as though something was clawing its way out of my chest.”
Good God, what was he doing to me? “Pretty sure those are just called feelings.”
“They were a pain in my ass, that’s what they were.
” Turning to face me, he murmured, “Every day, it got worse. I started admiring you when I learned how hard life was for you. I started trusting you each time you drew my blood. You were sneaky in your thievery, Rook, but somehow, I woke up one day and realised I didn’t want to spend a single day without you, which leads me to a problem because.
..seeing you so injured tonight? Feeling how close you were to death? ”
His tone turned dark as the air sizzled around his shoulders. “It was the first time in my life that I understood what true fear is. And if you ever get hurt again. If you ever put yourself in a situation where things can go wrong...I’ll kill you myself.”
A shocked little laugh escaped. I waited for him to chuckle and release the tension, but he just glowered as if I was about to go out and get hurt, just because he told me not to.
“You know that threat doesn’t work anymore, right?” I ducked my head, all while daring to smile. “It didn’t work when we first met and you actually had a genuine reason to kill me. But now—”
“Now I’m even more determined to murder you if you ever get hurt again.” His eyes flashed with that scarlet ring. “If something were to happen to you...what would I do? What the fuck would I do if you died?”
He slowly sat up, wobbling a little, revealing he’d had too much to drink.
“Also...I never hated you. I know I didn’t treat you well in those first few weeks but.
..I never hated you.” He reached forward and ran his thumb over my cheekbone.
“I hated how fast you ruined me. I hated how much I wanted you. I hated how you made me want to break my every rule. But I never hated you, Rook. I merely hated the fact that from the very first moment I saw you...I already belonged to you.”