Chapter 36
Luisa
London
Saturday dawned bright and sunny, almost unseasonably warm outside.
Early, too early in Luisa's opinion, Amy was up, showered and dressed.
Luisa stirred sleepily at the sound of Amy coming back upstairs and into her room, muttering her thanks as Amy put a cup of tea down by the side of the bed.
Much as she hated to admit it, Luisa was starting to understand why the British drank so much tea.
.. she didn't think she'd ever like it later in the day, but as a pick-me-up first thing in the morning it hit the spot.
Not as much like a slap in the face as coffee, but still with enough to it to make you feel almost human again.
Amy sat down on the bed on top of the covers next to her, and Luisa felt Amy's hand on her bare shoulder. "You're going to be ok today?" she asked.
Luisa smiled and looked up at Amy. "I think I'll cope," she joked. "But I wish you'd let me help you... I want to help you today."
Amy smiled back. "I know you do, and I appreciate it. But I can't take you with me."
It was the day when Amy was going to her old flat, the one she still jointly owned with James, to pick up some of her belongings. Luisa wanted to help, felt a need to help too. Pouting, understanding why but still wanting to push Amy, Luisa said, "Why not?"
Amy laughed, knowing it was a game. "You know why not. Because it’s…”
"...complicated." Luisa laughed back as she finished Amy's sentence.
"I know. I get it." She laughed, but inside there was a touch of frustration. She’d tried a few times to push Amy to open up and talk… about what open really meant, about the others in their lives, for Luisa to explain about her complications. Each time though she got back ‘It’s complicated…’ and the conversation moved on.
Not for the first time Luisa wished she had a reference point more recent than a relationship eight years ago.
It wasn’t that Luisa was concerned that morning, rather that she had the same worry that anyone has if the person they have strong feelings for is about to dip back into their old life. That nagging concern that they might change their mind.
But Luisa said nothing about that. Instead, she simply said, “I love you.
I know today could be tough." Amy took a deep breath and nodded, revealing more to Luisa about Amy's true emotions, how Amy must be semi-dreading it herself, than any words.
"If there's anything I can do, anything at all, now or later I'm here for you, ok? "
"I love you too, and thank you." Amy leaned down and kissed Luisa on the forehead. “I'll meet you in the pub later this afternoon, ok? Naomi said she'd look after you." Amy paused and grinned. "Don't believe everything she tells you about me."
As Amy headed to the door, Luisa pulled the covers back, the cool of the autumn morning air a shock, and lay on her side, her legs just right to show off her figure. Her naked figure.
"One thing,” she said, and Amy turned. She saw Amy raise her eyebrows and a grin cross her face. "This is all yours later... all of it. I love you."
"I love you too," Amy replied, and with a blown kiss and one last lingering look at Luisa lying in her bed she closed the door behind her, the sound of her footsteps fading as she went down the stairs.
Luisa rolled on to her back, pulling the covers back over her to keep herself warm, and took a deep breath.
Yes, it was a hard day for Amy, and yes Luisa was worried, but there was precisely nothing that she could do about it that wouldn't make it worse.
.. so, as so often in her life, Luisa resolved to make the most of her day regardless.
***
Naomi couldn't have been more welcoming to Luisa that day, as if in less than forty-eight hours she'd already accepted that Luisa was going to be a big part of Amy's life, and therefore a big part of Naomi's life, and therefore they were definitely going to be good friends.
Luisa had taken an instant liking to her with her warm and kind welcome on the Thursday, and her opinion of Naomi had only gone upwards from there.
She could see why she was one of Amy's best friends, and why their friendship had lasted for more than ten years.
Naomi was a lot like Amy in many ways, similar build, similar height, similar job, similar education, even similar hairstyle, but where they differed was that Naomi seemed to have a way of seeing through the pretences that people had, to cut right through it, but with that insight she didn't judge.
On the Friday night she'd been telling Luisa, in front of Amy, about how in denial Amy had been for years about being into women, but it wasn't said as judgmental or anything like that, just kindly, like Amy was her friend and just had to work it out for herself even though they all knew.
In short, Luisa could tell that Naomi was a great friend to Amy.
Mid-morning Naomi suggested going out for a run and took Luisa out for a brisk eight k run around the area, fitting in a bit of sightseeing while they ran.
Then, after they'd got back, showered and changed, she insisted on buying Luisa lunch at a favourite pub nearby, refusing Luisa’s offers to at least pay her share.
By mid-afternoon, the sunny weather holding and the temperature nudging twenty Celsius, balmy she was told by Naomi for autumn in London, they were sat out in a beer garden of a pub just off Clapham High Street, a picnic table between them.
Amy's other best friend Lara had joined them as well and they were sat in the sun, the other two wearing just short sleeved tops while Luisa kept her coat on… she knew she’d take a while to get used to the cooler climate.
They'd had a couple of drinks already, wine so far, but Naomi had insisted for this round that Luisa have a pint.
Luisa had never been much of a beer drinker and when she did, she'd have a bottle. Right at that moment she’d taken her first sip and was slightly wondering how she could avoid finishing the whole thing without seeming rude.
“So... you've both known Amy for years?"
Naomi nodded. "Yes. Since the first day at uni in fact." She paused and smiled. "We've been thick as thieves ever since."
"Thick as... thieves?" asked Luisa, unfamiliar with the term.
"I guess like we've always been doing things together, getting into adventures, we did a lot of sport together, that sort of thing."
Luisa nodded her understanding. She took another sip of her drink, then asked, "Tell me then, what do I need to know about Amy? I don't mean her secrets or stories about her when she was younger... she should be the one to tell me all that. I mean, describe the Amy you know so well to me."
"Ooohhh…," said Lara, laughing. "That's a great question! Let me think for a second." She took a drink of her own pint.
"It can be anything," said Luisa.
"Ok. Where to start... she's calm, doesn't worry about things too much. A sort of self-confidence but not the arrogant kind. It's not like she does stupid things, but she doesn't overthink what she's doing either. Does that make sense?"
Luisa laughed. "Yes, definitely. She teases me sometimes for overthinking."
Naomi grinned knowingly and took over from Lara.
"She's friendly... I think she can make friends with absolutely anyone.
And open, she reveals her vulnerability and that encourages you to reveal yours.
" Luisa nodded her agreement. "She's positive, always sees the optimistic interpretation of something rather than dwelling on what might go wrong. "
"That sounds very familiar.”
"Good... that's the real her you're seeing.
" Naomi paused. "One thing to watch out for, to be careful around, is that she is sometimes slower to see the obvious than others.
It's almost like her positivity and her confidence mean that she needs time to think big things through, if you know what I mean? "
"I think so..."
"Like, her being into women is a great example.
We knew. We all knew, right back at university.
We'd have drinking games and she'd always be the one who ended up having to kiss other women.
She slept with my best friend from school when she came to visit.
She slept with our team captain and went back for more. It was so obvious. But not to her."
Luisa smiled. "I guess she needs time to process."
"Exactly. That's exactly it. But it happens for everything, you just need to be patient, not push her."
Sitting silent for a few moments, Luisa toyed with whether to confide her concerns in the two of them. She decided not to, not just yet, but she could ask something close to it. “We've been talking, me and Amy, about how our relationship works. Long distance and everything."
"Ok..." replied Lara.
"And... don't tell her I said this, but she's reluctant to engage, wants to talk about it another time, tells me it's complicated." She paused and looked at them both. "That sounds like what you were just telling me, doesn't it?"
Naomi smiled. "It really does. Think of it from her perspective.
A few months ago, she was settled down with her long term boyfriend, probably heading towards marriage, a house in the suburbs, kids at some point, all that jazz.
Her next twenty or thirty years were obvious.
And now that's all changed. I think for the better, she's so happy now.
But that's a hell of a lot of uncertainty and a hell of a lot to process.
Give her time and she will, but don't try to force it. Not unless you have to."
Luisa felt herself blush slightly, and said quietly, "I've fallen so hard for her. I'm scared that she might change her mind. When she's thought about it, I mean."
"If it's not obvious to you yet, it's obvious to me.
" Naomi took Luisa's hand in hers and leant towards her for emphasis, looking her in the eye.
"Amy is head over heels in love with you.
I've never seen her like this, not even close.
And I've seen her in love before, trust me.
This is different, special." She paused, searching for the right words.
"The way she looks at you when you're not by her side.
.." Naomi shook her head and smiled. "Everything else can be solved, trust me.
Distance, her not wanting to open up, all of that.
.. it can all be solved. And she's worth it.
She really is. And there's no way she's changing her mind. "
Luisa nodded in agreement, not quite trusting herself to speak in reply to such a heartfelt endorsement of her and Amy. In the end, she just found herself nodding again.
Naomi took her hand away and then Lara nodded towards Luisa's pint. "Not going down too well?"
"It's a bit more than I'd normally drink. Of beer I mean. Anything else would be good."
"What time is it?"
"Three.”
Lara stood up and grinned. "Amy bringing you over's a special occasion, so I reckon that's not too early for a cocktail. Come on, I know a good place nearby, she can meet us there."