CHAPTER NINETEEN
Blair
I stood at the door of the biology classroom.
Zach was seated at his desk in the first row—the desk I’d told him time and again was only for the nerds—in the otherwise empty room, looking exactly the way he did three years ago.
His notebook and textbooks were all orderly arranged in front of him.
I’d noticed he always made sure to have them all out, to listen to everything the teachers said, to take his notes.
I closed the door behind me and approached him, watching his eyes widen with apprehension.
“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice wavering. He had a deep voice that always sent a thrilling sensation through me. A voice I’d die to have whispered in my ear.
He moved to stand up, but I pressed my hands against his shoulders and pushed him back down.
“Don’t go. I don’t want you to leave,” I said in a sultry voice.
His eyes widened as I straddled him. His hands hung at his sides like he didn’t know what to do with them.
“Blair,” he breathed out my name.
My insides clenched at the sound of it on his lips.
“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this? Wanted you?” I ground against him, and he groaned. I was pleased to feel he was already hard. “You want me too.”
His hands flexed by his sides, still not on me. “No.”
“Don’t lie to me,” I whispered into his ear and bit his earlobe. He shuddered, groaning again, and there was no mistaking his desire when he jerked his hips into me.
I smiled.
“Tell me you want me.”
“No.” He snapped his eyes shut, his hands now clenched into fists and shaking.
“Tell me,” I ordered, pressing myself into him.
He threw his head back, hissing through his teeth.
His hands grabbed my hips then, and he ground himself against me. “Fuck. I want you.” His mouth covered mine, and his tongue pushed inside, brushing against mine.
His kiss was a little sloppy, which showed his inexperience, but that only turned me on more. This was our first kiss, and it meant everything.
I grabbed his hair with both hands and kissed him harder, pouring all of myself into the kiss. I wanted so much more. I wanted him so much.
I rocked myself faster against him, already so close.
“I’m going to come,” he gritted out, his fingers digging hard into my ass.
“Yes. Let’s come together.”
Our mouths fused again, and I jerked my hips even faster against him, so, so close—
Something pressed against my mouth, and someone’s weight covered my whole body. I snapped my eyes open, panicked and disoriented. My room—was I in my room?—was in complete dark, and I screamed against the stranger’s hand—
“Be quiet,” Zach said.
My eyes widened. He removed his hand from my mouth.
“How did you get in my room?” I’d been locking the door ever since I caught him snooping.
“Take a guess. You should choose a better lock.”
He remained on top of me, and I was all too aware of each inch of him pressed against me.
The moon cast light on one side of his face, and the contrast was strikingly appealing.
I was still in that dream with my Zach (my?), having trouble differentiating it from reality, and I wondered if he would be able to guess what he’d just interrupted.
“Move off me.” I pushed against his shoulders, but he didn’t give, seizing my wrists with his hands and pinning them above my head. Just then, I smelled alcohol on his breath. I went still. “Are you drunk?”
“And so what if I am?”
“You shouldn’t be here. You keep crossing the line.”
He kept hold of my wrists with one hand and ran the back of the other down the side of my face, watching this move with a small smile on his lips. “Haven’t we established already that’s the whole point?”
“Let go of me.”
He only moved closer to me, his face coming within inches of mine. My gaze fell on his lips, and I felt a bad urge to kiss them and finally know what his kiss really felt like.
“You were moaning in your sleep.” I stopped breathing. His eyes were shining. “Did you have a sex dream?”
I looked to the side. “No.”
“No?” He moved his hand down my neck and stomach and pushed it right into my panties.
I bucked my hips, pleasure washing over me as his fingers slid over my clit that was still throbbing after my dream.
“Liar. You’re all wet.”
“Don’t touch me.”
He drew his hand out of my panties, but then he did something that only amplified the desire awakened in my dream—he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them clean.
He smiled. “Mmm. Delicious.”
My hips bucked, and I could feel myself growing hot all over.
“Did you dream about me?”
I jerked against his grip on my hands, but it didn’t give. “You wish.”
“I dreamed about you. A lot. Back then, in high school. You were the star of all my fantasies.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “What?”
“Yeah, from the first time I saw you. Predictable, right? A pathetic nerd hoping to get the most beautiful and smartest girl in school.” He ran his finger across my cheek to my lips in a slow caress.
“You were so gorgeous, with a beautiful smile and even more beautiful voice. I loved listening to you talk with your classmates in the hallways. And you made me fall so hard for you that day in the library.”
I stared at him, stupefied. I never would’ve guessed he’d felt that way about me. “I can’t believe you wanted me then.”
“Why? Every single guy wanted you. I’m sure you were aware of that.”
Yes, I’d been aware of that. And it had fed my ego until I fell for Zach. The only guy I hadn’t been able to have.
“But to hear that you wanted me too?” he continued. “The old me would’ve creamed his pants in an instant if he knew that. If he knew I’d have you like this now.” He ran his fingers down the side of my breast, making my nipple pucker.
“I don’t want you anymore,” I gritted out, fighting the sensations he easily produced in me.
“Sure you don’t. You lie, but your body doesn’t.” He brushed his finger over my now distended nipple, and I jerked against the bed.
“You’re drunk, Zach. You’re not being yourself.”
“Now, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m finally doing what I’ve wanted all this time.”
My heart flared. He buried his head in my neck, and his mouth produced instant pleasure in me. I bit into my lip against a moan, my body dissolving too quickly under his manipulation.
I should be fighting harder, but the truth was that I was hungry for his touch, hungry for anything he could offer, and even the slightest shift of his skin against mine created pleasure that devoured. I wanted him all the more after the dream I’d just had and hearing he wanted me back then too.
Zach covered my breasts under my sleeping top, his thumbs skimming over my nipples as he peppered kisses over my collarbone, and I couldn’t stop myself from moaning.
It was twisted how we wanted each other despite the world of wrong between us, but it also felt so right.
His lips and hands nipped away all the doubts, pain, and anger, replacing it with undiluted, addictive desire, and I needed it.
I needed to drown in it for a little while.
He lowered his head and bit my nipple, and I arched my back, digging my nails into his shoulders hard as both pain and pleasure claimed me. He hissed and raised his head to look at me with bared teeth, but I caught the look of pure desire in his eyes. He loved that.
“Do it again.”
I pressed my nails into his shoulders again.
“Fuck. Again.”
My nails cut across the expanse of his shoulders, and he moaned, bucking against me.
“Fuuuck.”
He slammed his mouth down on mine, and my head spun as his tongue parted my lips and pushed inside like he owned my mouth, unapologetically and with urgency. It set all my nerve endings tingling.
This was our first kiss, and all I could think about was how I was finally kissing him and how good it felt.
His hands roamed restlessly all over me, as though he wanted to reach all places at once, flooding my senses with sensations.
Unlike in my dream, his kiss wasn’t sloppy or inexperienced—it was better than anything I’d ever imagined—and I felt a stab of jealousy at whomever his lips had kissed before.
I pushed my tongue deeper inside his mouth, and I was rewarded with his moan, which pleased me immensely.
His earlier words about how he fell for me back then replayed in my head, and some deep part of me wondered if there was a chance he might ever feel the same again.
If underneath all the layers of his hate and disgust toward me, he felt something else.
Something stronger than the driving force of his revenge.
He shifted so that his thick length pressed right against my softness, and my hips jerked against the rush of pleasure that brought. His fingers pinched my nipple, right as he slid his cock against me, and I moaned, hot pleasure unfurling all the way through me. I wanted more. I needed more.
I pushed my hips up against him, and he obliged, grinding harder, just like in my dream, watching me get closer to the orgasm.
He brought his hand right inside my panties and brushed against my clit.
My back bowed off the bed. “Zach,” I rasped.
His fingers slid through my folds, spreading my wetness over my swollen flesh up and down, then he rewarded my clit with a pinch, and I moaned. I was getting wetter and wetter.
“Zach, please.” I needed much more. I needed everything.
He smiled, repeating the process excruciatingly slowly over and over, getting closer to my entrance each time. It was torturous.
“Zach, I need . . .”
“I know what you need.” Without warning, he shoved two fingers inside me, and I cried out, shuddering from head to toe.
This time, his fingers moved fast, inside and out, inside and out, building up my pleasure at a maddening speed, and I knew I was going to come any second now.
Sensing it, he moved his fingers to my clit directly and stroked it hard and fast, and I was there, panting, so goddamn close that nothing else mattered but—
He stopped, and I opened my eyes to glare at him. What the hell?
“Why did you stop?”
“You’re going to come only when my cock’s inside you, while you watch me take you.”
He stood and pulled me off my bed, taking me over to the floor-to-ceiling mirror in my closet.
My pussy fluttered in anticipation. He turned on the under-cabinet lights, and the subdued lighting spread through the room, softening the shadows in the corners but leaving the room dark enough to fit the mood.
He stopped behind me, and he never took his gaze off me in the mirror as he yanked down my sleeping shorts and panties, then did the same to his jeans and boxers, leaving them to pool around his ankles. I used a moment to take in his considerable size.
He was big, and my thighs squeezed together to soothe the sudden pulsating ache between them. I needed him inside me now.
He didn’t make me wait long. Within a few seconds, he had a condom on and was inside me, filling all of me at once.
“Oh God,” I breathed out, my arms winding around the back of his neck, feeling so full.
“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He started pounding into me at once, as though he couldn’t wait any longer, and I buckled against him. Our gazes never drifted away from each other in the mirror, and everything burned in me at the look of lust in his hooded eyes. He was as delirious with desire as I was.
I couldn’t stop watching us fuck in a frenzy, and the fact that we were both still half-dressed only turned me on more. At one point, through the haze of pleasure, I noticed he didn’t look at himself even once, but the thought dispersed before I could fully process it.
“You feel so fucking good,” he said into my ear, his voice almost unrecognizable. He tugged at my hair and made me meet his mouth halfway, his tongue clashing with mine. It was all wetness and raw passion, and I responded to his thrusts with my own, gripping his hair hard.
He broke our kiss and forced me to look back at us in the mirror.
“Watch me take you, baby. Watch this pathetic loser own you. If you only knew how much I wanted this. I wanted to fuck you so you knew you were taken by that same guy you loved to humiliate so much.” His thrusts became harder, his fingers returning to my clit.
“Been made to come by the very person who disgusted you.”
I arched off him, barely able to stay on my feet with the intensity of pleasure he was making me feel. “Except you never really disgusted me. And I wanted you to take me so badly.” I held his gaze in the mirror. “And my fantasies? You were the star in every one of them too.”
His eyes filled with so much desire and longing, but there was also pain—raw pain that pierced straight through my chest.
“Now I know that. And now you’re watching what we could’ve had, and what we won’t have. Thanks to you. Because you ruined something that could’ve been beautiful.”
My heart ached hard, even as he went faster, stealing my breath as he buried himself impossibly deeper.
My gaze went to his scar, now fully visible on his face as there were no strands of hair covering it, and I wanted to caress it so badly. I wanted to touch it and shower it with kisses, but I doubted he would take it well.
His fingers started working me faster, and I couldn’t think as his lips latched onto my neck, doubling all the sensations I felt. I was overflowing with juices, drowning in him. I was so close now.
I closed my eyes, but he wrapped his hand around my throat, squeezing it enough to make me snap my eyes open.
“No, look at me while you come.” I moaned, spasming around him. “I want you to always look at me,” he added quietly on a tortured note, almost to himself, and that pushed me over the edge.
“Zach,” I moaned, falling apart around him.
“Blair,” he called my name, coming right after me.
He stopped and tipped my chin toward him, sealing our mouths together. This kiss was slower and softer, but it was more consuming and confused the hell out of me.
With a growl, he broke the kiss abruptly and yanked himself out of me, putting some distance between us.
A wave of cold washed over me, and I watched with a heavy feeling in my chest as he pulled on his jeans and tossed the condom in the trash can in the corner. He left the room without looking at me even once.
And I could only stare at the door he’d just closed, feeling utterly empty.