CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Blair
“Catch me if you can!” Melody shouted, holding my phone hostage.
“Give that back,” I shouted back.
I was filming a video for TikTok in the living room when she showed up, and I decided to goof around and film her instead.
She was having none of it because she snatched my phone before I could even anticipate it, and now I was chasing her in the backyard, zigzagging between the sprinklers watering the grass despite the PSA to conserve water due to high temperatures and droughts (and it wasn’t even the middle of the summer).
Mom didn’t care, explicitly stating that the sprinklers should be on with no exception.
The droplets hit my skin as I skidded around the sprinklers, and the cooling sensation was a welcome reprieve against the sun.
It was only nine in the morning, but it was so hot, and my hair was already sweaty at the temples, urging me to make a detour and jump into the pool, with my clothes on and all.
A lawn mower hummed in the distance, and the hairs on my neck stood to attention. I glanced back to see Zach riding it, his attention glued to me. My heart missed a beat, and I almost slipped on the wet grass, forcing myself to pay attention to where I was going instead of on Zach.
“You can’t run forever!” I said to Melody, almost catching up with her. Mom would go bonkers knowing we were running over her precious grass, but she was currently in the middle of her Zoom meeting in her office, so she wouldn’t know.
Melody chuckled. “You can’t either!” She tricked me by making me think she’d go to the right, only to switch to the left at the last moment. But the opportunity presented itself when she slipped and crashed to the ground, and I jumped on her, grabbing for the phone.
She squealed and twisted to the side, and I followed.
Soon, we were a heap of limbs, our laughter ringing out.
We ended up on our backs, panting, and we looked at each other.
We burst into laughter again, and I felt warm both inside and out, the smell of freshly cut and wet grass filling my nostrils.
Something had me tilt my head backward to look at Zach, and my heart convulsed when I caught his vehement stare. A shuddering breath flittered past my lips.
Last night solidified this strange sort of awareness I felt about him, and I was torn between wanting to maintain distance from him and drawing closer to him.
I didn’t know how to feel about the latter.
I hadn’t anticipated him taking me home after practically confirming I’d share Lana’s fate or showing me just how damaged and unconfident he was, which caused an overload of emotions in me just like that night in his room.
It was guilt, regret, desire, and the need to comfort him all in one, making me feel not only desperate to have him again but also wanting to help wash away our pain.
“Blair! Melody!”
I winced, looking up. Mom hovered above us on the pathway.
“What do you two think you’re doing?”
Melody and I shared a look, then stood, wiping our hands over our clothes.
“Look at you two. So dirty, like little children.” She glared at Melody, her eyes filling with disgust that took even me aback. “You know how easily you can get sick. You can’t just run around like that.”
She didn’t care about Melody getting sick. She cared about the inconvenience that would pose for her.
“And you, Blair.” She pointed at my bare legs in shorts. “You could’ve gotten hurt. You know you can’t allow yourself to get scrapes or wounds. It would ruin the photo shoots.”
What photo shoots? I wanted to say. At this rate, there won’t be any—now or in the near future. “There’s always Photoshop,” I said, and her frown deepened.
I could swear a laugh came from Zach from behind us, the lawn mower now closer to us.
“Don’t get all smart with me, Blair, not after the disaster of last night.
I want you in my office. Now.” She divided a glare between Melody and me.
“And what did I say about walking and running over the grass? You’re going to ruin it!
I don’t want to have to repeat myself.” She spun around and marched into the house, and Melody and I shared another look.
“Sorry,” she mouthed, handing me back my phone.
“Don’t be.”
I entered the house and followed Mom inside her office, leaving the door open ajar behind me.
She took her place behind her desk, leaning her elbows on the shiny surface with her fingers steepled.
It was supposed to signify she was in control, but the occasional twitching of her left eye gave her away.
She was barely keeping herself in check.
“When I sent you to the fundraiser, I expected you to make sure everything went well.” She’d grilled me about it for the better part of last night, demanding to know who accompanied me.
I didn’t tell her, but I knew it was just a matter of time before she found out because of the security cameras, and I wouldn’t put it past her to demand to see them.
Which would mean it was also just a matter of time before Zach was found out and kicked out of here. My stomach twisted at that.
“There was nothing I could do. She was giving a speech when—”
“Instead,” she continued in a raised tone, completely ignoring me, “the event was a disaster, and now they’re implying that my charity is involved in Lana’s dealings as well.”
“Who’s implying?”
“The donors. And I’m sure the police will investigate me as well.”
Once again, I didn’t feel anything. I was supposed to worry about the implications of Lana’s dealings and how they would affect our family, but I felt nothing. Maybe this was supposed to happen. Perhaps it was long overdue.
“Would they find something?”
She bared her teeth at me. “That’s beside the point, Blair.” She didn’t outright deny it, but she didn’t confirm it, and I waited for anger or concern to come, but they didn’t.
“How did everything go so wrong? It seems I always have to do damage control. It’s never-ending.” She didn’t sound like she needed my comfort, so I didn’t offer any, watching her quietly.
She shook her head, took a deep breath, and gave me a level gaze. “Now, more than ever, we have to be ahead of the media and the gossip. I want you to go to the local food kitchen tomorrow and serve the food.”
I gaped at her, feeling nothing but disgust as she added, “There will be TV cameras, so needless to say, be extra mindful of how you carry yourself.”
My hands clenched. Of course they would be. She was willing to use even those who needed help the most to achieve her goals.
I thought about what Zach had told me last night, about trying to protect my place among the people who thought everyone was beneath them, and I felt like a fraud. I always looked for an easy way out because I didn’t have my own identity. Because serving this family was my identity.
I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to do something good for such a bad reason.
“Is that really necessary? Dragging the media to that place? Those people shouldn’t be exploited.”
Her brows went up. “Those people should be grateful because if it weren’t for our goodwill, they wouldn’t have anything to eat.”
My jaw slackened. “Our goodwill? Would we be doing this if we didn’t get something out of it?”
“That’s the whole purpose of it, Blair. Otherwise, it would be a complete waste of our time and resources.”
“A waste of— Are you serious right now? Those people deserve help. They deserve empathy.”
“Don’t feel sorry for those bastards. They got what they deserve, being so lazy and useless. It was their choice to end up in their position. It’s their problem.”
I stared at her, my breathing shallow. Lazy and useless? They got what they deserved? Their choice?
My nails dug into my palms, my whole world shifting on its axis. I was finally allowing myself to see her for who she really was. Or maybe I’d always seen her but was now feeling differently about it because I was changing.
She could say she was doing what she thought was best for our family. It wasn’t worth it.
“You’re disgusting.”
Her face snapped into a grimace of shock, then fury. Her hand moved for the Montblanc pen next to her, flexing around it as though she was a second away from throwing it at me.
“Don’t get on your mighty high horse with me, Blair.
That’s how the world works, and that’s how it will keep working, whether you like it or not.
Besides, it’s not like you haven’t done bad things yourself.
Did you forget how much time and money we spent to fix all the damage you caused with your high school bullying?
You’ve got no right to preach. Now go to your room and try on the Armani suit Ruby left on your bed to wear. It should fit.”
Armani. She wanted me to wear an Armani while helping there.
I laughed, unable to stop myself. “You’re not actually serious?”
Her hand twitched around her pen. “Excuse me?”
“That’s excessive. And highly inappropriate.”
“Don’t challenge me on this, Blair. You already messed up big time last night. You won’t mess this up too.”
I didn’t move or say anything. I just watched her, and for the first time, I didn’t have any doubts. For the first time, I knew deep in my heart I’d rather have a bad reputation than pretend my shit didn’t stink for the rest of my life.
Mom had so much power and money, she could’ve done so much good for the community. And she did, but the goal wasn’t to help the poor. The goal wasn’t to help at all. It was to maintain her status and position in society, including tax benefits. It was callous exploitation.
And I couldn’t keep doing it.
Maybe I couldn’t fight my parents on all fronts because of Melody, but I could on this one.
I headed out of the office and stopped by the living room to make a call. I had the contact info for Mom’s publicist in my phone, so I called her and told her to notify the media that the event was canceled. In no way would I have cameras there.