50. Roman
ROMAN
F rederick Lawrence.
Frederick Lawrence.
Frederick Lawrence.
His name repeats on a loop in my head, and the more I replay what happened the night before, and previous days of him meddling in the center of everything, the more off-kilter I become.
He knows everything. He’s had his hands in everything . He’s played both sides for years, and he’s never made a secret of being a lawyer for both families.
My body is stiff, my neck is sore, and if I hadn’t taken the risk to sneak back into my place and get new clothes, I’d be disgusting.
Right now, I’m hiding behind a parked car in the alley behind the Round Table, waiting to see Benjamin.
He texted late last night, before I got rid of my phone, and begged me to meet him here.
It’s probably a trap, and I’m most likely the stupidest fucking guy in the world, but what other choice do I have?
The moment he gets to the back entrance, I have him shoved up against the brick, a pocketknife at his throat.
He throws his hands up, but he doesn’t fight me.
His eyes seem hollow, dark circles underneath them.
“Roman,” he breathes, like he’s thankful to see me.
“Tell me what’s going on, Benny,” I demand. “No more half truths. No more bullshit.”
“Merrick’s alive.”
Relief coasts through me, and I blow out a deep breath, my eyes flicking to my hands without thought and then back up. I got his blood off me after scrubbing for what felt like hours, but knowing he’s still breathing makes the vise grip on my chest ease, just a little.
I drop Benjamin from the wall and back up a few steps, keeping a healthy distance between us. “And Tyler?”
Benjamin swallows and runs a hand through his hair, his fingers shaky and his skin sallow like he’s trying not to puke. “I’m not sure about him. I don’t know.”
“You’ll forgive me for not believing a word you say.”
Benjamin nods, his tongue pressing against his cheek, and then he exhales like he’s steeling himself for something. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
My chin lifts and my jaw tenses. “For what to happen?”
He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing.
“Spit it out, Benny,” I snap.
His brows draw in, and his face contorts like he’s trying to hold back tears. “It wasn’t supposed to get so out of control. Merrick was never supposed to be involved. To get hurt. I didn’t—” He chokes on a sob, and he’s pacing now, his fingers tearing at the roots of his dirty blond hair.
“Benjamin,” I say, my voice loud and direct. “You’re rambling. Tell me what’s going on.”
He stops. “Frederick Lawrence isn’t who he says he is.”
“No shit,” I reply. “Neither are you, it would seem. How could you, Benny? How could you betray the family this way?”
“For my family!” he snaps and then tugs on his hair again. “Uncle M lied. He covered things up. Made her out to be the problem when all she ever tried to do was survive.”
My heart trips. “Who?”
He meets my gaze, his eyes hollowed out by grief. “My aunt Eleanor. Marcus’s wife.”
The name lands like a sucker punch to the ribs, and I stumble back a half step.
“That’s…” I shake my head. “What do you mean? She’s dead, she died, my mom always said…”
“That she was unstable? Dangerous?” Benjamin’s voice cuts deep. “That she made Uncle M fucking miserable?”
“No, she always said Eleanor was the reason why I couldn’t come back.”
Benjamin lets out a short, humorless laugh.
“She did hate you, Roman. You were the proof of everything that was taken from her. Uncle M humiliated her. He had a child with his mistress and then gave you his last name. And when she planned to run away with Craig Calloway, he had the fucking gall to kill her for it.”
I stare at him, but the world is tilting again, everything I thought I knew being rearranged. “That’s not…”
“It is,” he replies.
“You’re lying.”
“I wish I was.”
I shake my head. “He wouldn’t have?—”
“He did ,” Benjamin snaps.
My jaw clenches. “What does this have to do with Frederick?”
He hesitates, glancing around like he’s concerned someone might overhear. “Because Frederick is her half brother.”
My brows lift. “Frederick’s a Voltaire ?”
“Not officially. Unlike some people, he didn’t get the name when he was born to an affair.
But he came searching and found Eleanor.
They kept it secret so that nobody else would know, so that he would be safe from the Calloways and your dad.
They’ve never liked us Voltaires getting too much power in the town. ”
I run a hand over my face. “So, you betrayed my dad.”
If it wasn’t coming directly from Benjamin’s mouth, I wouldn’t have trusted it to be true. I always assumed Benjamin was loyal to the end, the very definition of “ride or die.”
He doesn’t flinch, and he doesn’t argue. He simply says, “I stayed loyal to my family.”
“And staying loyal means framing me for murder? Getting Merrick shot?” I lash out.
His jaw tics, nostrils flaring. “That wasn’t supposed to happen, man. It’s all too fucked up now. I came here to talk with you, and to…to make it right.”
My brows rise. “I’m getting really tired of riddles, Benny.”
He presses a hand to his mouth, his face losing color.
“Are you about to puke?” I ask.
He breathes deeply.
“Why now?”
Benjamin’s face shifts. “It was always supposed to be now.”
He leans against the wall.
“Uncle M is dead. And you’re the last piece left. You’re the only thing standing between Freddy and what he’s been setting up for years.”
I scoff. “You give the guy too much credit.”
“You don’t give him enough.” He pins me with a deadly stare. “They’ve been waiting for you to break.”
I meet his eyes. “I don’t break.”
He lifts a slow, mocking brow. “You don’t think you already have?”
I lunge forward, grabbing the collar of his shirt and shoving him against the brick. “You think this is what broken looks like?”
He doesn’t flinch. “I think this is what it looks like when someone realizes everyone around them was playing a different game.”
My heart’s slamming against my ribs, but my voice comes out cold. “What are you talking about?”
“Freddy’s been building this for years . Ever since Eleanor died and he saw you, pathetic and begging and alive , on your daddy’s doorstep.”
I slam him harder into the brick. “Say that again.”
He smirks but there’s no fire behind it. Just something sad and dark and already bleeding.
“You think I’m wrong?” He laughs. “You think your blitzed out mother didn’t show up a week later, all wide eyed and itchy, spinning her version of the story to anyone who’d listen?”
I let go of him like he burned me.
My brain whirls so fast I feel motion sickness.
Benjamin shakes his head as I back up another step.
“Why would my mom…” I don’t finish the thought, because I already know.
Money. Maybe even my dad. It’s not hard to manipulate a person who’s a shell of themselves and willing to do anything for their next fix.
“Frederick got to her.”
I know it like I know anything.
“Ah, see?” He clicks his tongue. “Now you’re starting to get it.”
My chest hollows out and my stomach surges.
“Your mother handed you over, Roman, wrapped in a bow. She worked on your psyche, and Freddy whispered in Uncle M’s ear. The perfect storm.”
I wish I could argue, but it all rings true. It all makes so much sense that it kills me.
“Why are you telling me this now?” I rasp. “Why did you beg me to come here?”
He grits his teeth, water lining his lower eyelids. “They fucked with my best friend. He’s lying in a goddamn hospital bed, and this was never supposed to be…” He shakes his head. “I’m trying to atone.”
“Bit late.”
“Well then, you can ignore me when I tell you this next part.” He spits the words at my feet. “They’re taking Juliette because they know it will bring them you .”