Chapter 13
Luke
Meet me for breakfast?
The question came shortly after I’d arrived at the dorms around one in the morning. Tired as all get-out, I barely remembered agreeing, but I must’ve and set an alarm before I crashed.
How did rich people party every damn weekend? Savannah was glad to have me with her at these events. If she hadn’t been, I might’ve skipped a few.
Actually, nah, fuck that. I would’ve gone to see Luke.
The little bakery he’d sent me a link to was easy to miss in the middle of a short strip mall. Luke’s Range Rover was parked at the side of the lot, facing a thick row of trees, and I parked beside it. Would he be inside already, watching me as I walked in?
“Ugh, I’m gonna be sick,” I breathed and laid my head on the steering wheel.
At least the nerves hadn’t hit while driving.
I rubbed my palms on my ripped jeans and took a few deep breaths.
Today, he was getting plain Asher. No suits or makeup or posh events or club strobe lights.
Just a nineteen-year-old in baggy jeans and a faded Superman T-shirt under my equally faded hoodie.
I got out of the car and shoved my phone and wallet in my pocket. I could do this. I had to do this. The bakery was fairly busy and seemed to be the only thing open this early on a Sunday. A small patio of tables sat out front, and at one of them was Luke.
This was the first time we’d met in daylight.
His skin wasn’t as pale in a baby blue button-down.
He did a double take when he noticed me heading his way, then stood, showing off his long legs in black slacks.
Did this guy know how to do anything casually?
At least he didn’t have a tie on. Maybe this was casual.
At the club, he’d worn similar clothes, but his shirt had had a sheen to it that made it sparkle in the flashing lights.
Oh, shit. Don’t think about the club. All I needed was to pop a boner and prove how much younger and not in control of myself I was.
“Uh, hey,” I said, unsure if I should shake his hand or bow or what. Fuck.
Luke gestured to the chair across from his, and I eagerly took it. The table was small, and our legs would brush each other’s in the middle, but he angled himself away.
Okay, no touching. Got it.
The blue of his eyes was so deep and bright. I got lost in them as they roamed over every speck of me.
One corner of his lips twitched, and then he said, “I like this look on you.”
For a minute, I lost all speech function, then adjusted in my seat and finger-combed my hair. “This’s the normal me.” But I wasn’t even sure how true that was.
In high school, I’d been covered in black, supporting Jamie in his emo ways.
College was supposed to be my time to figure shit out, find who I was, where I felt comfortable.
As much as I thought I hated suits, they were kind of growing on me, as was getting spiffied up with Savannah.
The stuffy attitudes sucked, but me in a suit meshed well enough.
Comfortable, though? Maybe it wasn’t my clothes but a mindset.
“What’s good here?” I tacked on, dreading us diving into silence. We’d had no issues keeping the conversation going on our one date, but that was when Luke thought I was a girl. I had no clue about his orientation now, surprising the shit out of me with all that at the club.
Luke jumped on the topic as if it were the most important thing in life. “Everything. I have coffee coming, and I can order for you, if you like.”
Aaaand I jumped on that. “Please. I’m a bit too nervous to think straight.”
Luke chuckled. “Don’t be. It’s a nice morning for good company and conversation.”
Good company? That told me nothing. Was this a date?
On cue, the server arrived with two glass mugs of steaming coffee, a tiny pitcher of cream, and a bowl of sugar packets. As I doctored mine, Luke smiled at the beaming woman and ordered for us. Something French-sounding, but if it wasn’t a donut from Krispy Kreme, I didn’t know pastries.
“I stopped here with my mother once,” Luke said. “She hated the place, so I come back often.”
I snickered. “Your momma is such a gem.”
“In some ways. She’s cold, unyielding, persistent, and lifeless. Yet she doesn’t sparkle.”
“Ouch. Okay. Well, my momma is a gem too. But she does sparkle and makes people smile. She’s persistent and only unyielding when it comes to punishment.” I laughed. “That’s all I got.”
“Your mother sounds like a rare treat.”
“My whole family is.”
We tasted our coffee, and hell yeah if it didn’t beat out Starbucks and Waffle House, hands down.
“How is school going?” he asked. “Wait, are you really a freshman? I’m not sure how much of …”
How much of Ashley was real? “Yeah, I’m really a freshman, but are we really here to chitchat or to talk?”
Luke scrunched his brows and said, “Both?”
I rubbed my palms on my jeans again. “Yeah, yeah, we can do both, but I’ve got to say I’m sorry. I can’t go another second without saying it again.”
“Sorry for what?”
“For lying. For not telling you right away that I was a guy.”
“You’ve already apologized, Asher. Relax.”
“Relax?” My voice rose more than I expected, and I ducked between my shoulders, glancing around.
Even with the patio heaters running, only one other table was occupied on this chilly morning.
The two women, maybe a mom and daughter, were laughing together and not paying us any mind.
The other patrons filled the indoor seating area.
Luke covered my hand where it sat on my leg with his warm one. “Yes, relax. We can talk more on that later if you want. Perhaps away from other ears.”
I wasn’t sure if that was for my sake or his, but I nodded and let him lead the conversation into other directions.
He told me a little about work the last few weeks, and I gave him a brief rundown of school—not a topic I wanted to discuss if I wasn’t forced to in class—then about my trips home and how much I missed my family without realizing it.
“How far is the campus from Hickory Bend? Was that the name of it?”
“Yeah, population of a little under twenty thousand or so. It’s not the smallest town, but close. Anyway, campus is about three hours if I’m breaking the sound barrier.”
Luke snickered, then glanced at the parking lot. “I can’t imagine that Civic is safe above seventy.”
“It’s not, but it hasn’t let me down yet.” We grinned and huffed tiny laughs. “What was your first car?”
“Hmm, let’s see.” Luke leaned back. Our pastry dishes had been cleared, and we were on our third cups of coffee. I might get an IV of this shit to go. “Well, I was driven to school in a Bentley until I went off to college. My parents gifted me with a Mercedes that I didn’t care for.”
“What? Wrong color?”
Luke snorted. “As a matter of fact, I hated the color, but it just didn’t suit me.”
“The Range Rover does.”
Luke glanced at it sitting pretty and shaming every vehicle in the lot. “You think so?”
“Uh, yeah, like, so much it’s a little weird.”
“I like black vehicles. It’s big enough for me so I don’t feel cramped and has adequate power.”
“Don’t tell me you got a lead foot.”
Luke sat forward and placed his elbows on the table.
He’d rolled his sleeves, and the cords of muscle flexed.
He totally busted me staring, but I wasn’t going to play coy.
This man had kissed me like my throat held treasures he could only find with his tongue, and I’d made him come while calling my name.
I wasn’t about to deny the attraction.
“Not really, but I like knowing I have it if I need it.”
I sat forward too, only with my hands under my legs and my elbows locked in place. “Is that what you’re doing with me?”
His brows lowered.
“I don’t know why we’re here, Luke.” I dropped my voice to just above a whisper. “Not that I’m complaining, but you were fuckin’ desperate in that club. You’re all cold one second and flirtin’ the next. Every weekend. Now this? Thanks for breakfast, by the way, but I’m confused.”
“You’re not the only one a little confused here.”
I sighed and dropped my head back. “Please don’t tell me I turned you gay or some shit.”
“What? No. I’ve always been gay,” he whisper shouted.
Silence built between us until I thought my eardrums would burst. Luke blinked his eyes wide, then paled. Good thing he was sitting because he honest-to-God swooned or something, then gripped the table.
“I’ve never actually said that out loud before.”
“Oh.” Oooh. Oh, shit. He was closeted. Shit! He just came out—to me! “Oh,” I said again, not sure what was the right response here. Fuck, what had I said to Jamie when he told me? I think it was “cool” or something equally stupid. Instead, I went with “No one knows?”
He shook his head, eyes darting around us. “Only you.”
Fuck me. I hadn’t thought about what it must be like to be an adult and not out. Seeing the weight of this on Luke’s shoulders, I suddenly felt all kinds of bad for him, and even worse for tricking him into kissing a … Wait, hold up.
I leaned even closer. “Then why did you ask me out? I mean, me as Ashley.”
“You’ve had the pleasure of meeting my mother. It was either you or a woman of her choosing.”
A smile teased my mouth. “I want to believe there’s a compliment in there for me.”
Even with the heavy conversation, Luke grinned.
“There is.” He licked his lips, and we both scooted closer at the same time.
His knee brushed mine, but that hardly mattered now.
“I was actually quite perplexed over how much I liked you. You, as Ashley.” Luke glanced around again.
We weren’t alone out here, but I didn’t think anyone was prying.
Then again, I wasn’t closeted. Maybe this was really uncomfortable for him.
“You wanna go somewhere else and talk?”
Luke took a deep breath and nodded once. “Here.” He handed me his keys. “I’ll settle the check. Will you wait for me? We can talk in the car.”
I nodded and took the keys. While Luke disappeared inside, I went to his Range Rover, feeling very out of place with it. These were expensive. I didn’t know how much, but I was sure they cost more than anything I’d sat in before.
The doors unlocked with a click, and I oo’d and awe’d without anyone to see as I inspected the interior.
Black on black, which was very striking, and tidy as fuck.
I wouldn’t find any french fries under the seats, that was for damned sure.
He probably didn’t even have random napkins from fast-food joints in the glove box.
I’d only just climbed onto the passenger seat when he opened the driver’s side and held out a to-go coffee to me.
“Oh, thanks.” I sat it in one of the cup holders, then did the same to the second one so he could settle in. “You’re rather trusting, you know? I could’ve stolen this.”
“Ah, but then I’d take your Civic.”
“Far from a fair trade.”
Luke cracked the windows enough it wouldn’t get stuffy but didn’t start the car. Rather, he jumped right back into the heavier conversation we’d paused.
“I’ve been on dates with women,” he said.
I nodded encouragingly and patiently waited for him to go on. This couldn’t be easy to discuss. I wanted to hold him, soothe him through the confession, but I remained in my seat.
“Talking with you, even when I thought you were a woman, was much easier than it had been before. Mother is so fucking adamant about me finding a wife, and in the back of my mind, I wondered if I could do it.” He glanced at me. “Could I marry a woman and keep pretending?”
I didn’t expect he wanted an answer, so I said nothing.
“Then with you, as Ashley, I really thought I might be able to. I’m …” He shook his head. “It had me fucked-up. I kissed you from a place of such awkward confusion, and then … I freaked.”
“I noticed.”
Luke chuckled. “I’d never kissed a guy, Asher.”
“And then I unknowingly forced you into it.”
“No.” He shook his head and held his hand up as if to stop me. “No, I’m telling you, I’m thirty-four, and I’ve never been with a man, not so much as kissed a man.”
I stared, missing something because lines weren’t connecting on whatever he was trying to get me to understand.
“I’m, fuck,” he groaned and swiped his hand down his face. “I’ve never let myself be with a man, and beyond a simple kiss, I’ve never gotten close to being with a woman. Nor have I wanted to.”
Wait, so …
Was he trying to tell me he was a virgin?
What.
The.
Fuck.