Chapter 20 #3
“What did Shelley do?”
“Well, I figure she already knew what had happened.” Asher paused, taking a moment to stare straight into my eyes. “’Cause Shelley still had that shovel in her hands, and she beat the livin’ tar outa him.”
“Figuratively?”
“Nope. Shelley killed that fat bastard.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yep. And it wasn’t quick. She started with his feet. Broke both ankles so he couldn’t run away. I didn’t see him. I was just a baby, but I heard he was nothin’ but a lump of meat when she got done with him.”
“What happened to her?”
“She was arrested, didn’t fight it. Admitted to killin’ him and was convicted of second-degree murder. Did you know they let folks earn degrees in prison?”
I’d never thought about it, but Asher went on.
“Well, they do. Momma told me she studied psychology and social work. She did her time, was a model inmate, and in the years since she got out, she’s worked with multiple agencies that help abused children find better homes and situations.
” He chuckled. “And crochets little cats for kids at the children’s hospital. ”
I sat back, staring at Asher, then at my dessert dish, but pushed it away. I took a few deep breaths, let my heart rate slow, and wiped a hand over my face. “Why the fuck did you tell me that?”
Asher cocked his head and studied me for a long minute. “You don’t see the point?”
“No. The stories about your cousins are always silly or entertaining. That was … dark.”
Asher worked his jaw back and forth, telling me I’d fucked up without a sound or a clue as to how.
“You know, I may have a huge family with a lot of funny stories, but they ain’t circus clowns. They’re real, and sometimes real shit is bad shit.”
“Ashe—Ash, wait, I didn’t mean that at all. It’s just, I’ve come to expect something fun and light from you.” I reached for his hand, but he pulled away and stood.
“I’m gonna tell you my point, and then I’m gonna walk out that door alone. I’m not mad, but I think I need a minute to myself.”
I nodded, not wanting to make this any worse. “Okay.” My gut churned with how this night had turned, from sexy to upsetting, but something in his tone, in the sadness in his eyes, kept me glued to my seat.
Asher nodded and straightened, then smoothed a hand down his dress.
“Shelley was kicked around nearly her entire life. She didn’t let it defeat her, though.
She used it to protect others, to help others.
And without ever seein’ it, without anyone ever showin’ her how, she finally learned what love was because of that cat.
” A tear dropped from his anguished eyes, and I jerked to my feet.
“Asher.”
He held up a hand. “Shelley found somethin’ worth destroyin’ everything she’d been taught, everything she’d been raised on, and built a new life for herself.
” He swallowed as another tear fell. “That was my point, Luke. Sometimes we don’t see how our lives shape us.
How the shit end of the stick is a better teacher than the clean end.
All Shelley needed was the right motivation because she’d had the tools all along.
People will change their worlds with a good enough reason, even if they have to start by wreckin’ it. ”
Asher hadn’t raised his voice. He didn’t spin on his heels and storm off. He stared at me for a long second, nodded once with a whispered “good night,” then quietly walked away.
I stood there like a dumbass, stunned, shocked to my core. My throat burned with emotions, legs shaking with a need to chase after him, to tell him I understood.
I was Shelley.
Asher, in his captivating way, told me that I’d been beaten.
Not physically, but mentally beaten into fearing what my life would be like if I went against my family.
I’d taken the pressures and demands from my parents without ever fighting back.
Yet in me, he saw the tools, the means, and the desire to reshape my life. Asher saw the man in me I wanted to be.
And when I found what was worth changing my world for, I’d destroy it all to make a new one where I could have my dream and cherish it the way it deserved.
Only I didn’t have to wonder what was worth it.
I knew. As sure as I knew I’d never met a person like him and never would again.
Maybe I’d known since the night we met and was reaffirmed every time he made me smile, every time he swept away my gloom, every time he reminded me that I was alive, that I was important, that he’d made me a priority in his life.
I had to show him I’d make him mine, my top priority.
The check was paid in advance of the night, so I tossed cash on the table for the tip and gave chase. I wouldn’t let him leave like that, at least not without telling him how much he meant to me.
As soon as the door opened, I glanced left and right, but Asher was right at the curb’s edge, staring straight in front of him.
“Ash …” I raced forward, skidded to a halt beside him, and then followed his line of sight across the street.
“Fuck,” I hissed.
“Exactly,” he muttered.