Chapter 22
Tips on how to blow up a messenger app: Send a picture of yourself, in full makeup, with a hot man, and no context.
Before we parted ways last night, I convinced Luke to take a selfie with me. It turned out kinda perfect. With his consent, I sent it to the group, then took my shower to get ready for the fucking party of the year.
When I got back to my phone—mania.
Percy
Gosh, you’re pretty.
Jack
Who’s the fox?
Ty
I’m guessing that’s Asher and his man.
Nick
Luke doesn’t look as old as I was thinking.
Tate
I thought that was over?
Michael/Jamie
Why’s everything gotta be so damn dramatic?
Percy
Give Jamie the phone!
Tate
Not over, over, but I meant Asher over being Ashley.
Wren
Yeah, they were at that art thing together. As men.
Percy
Not together together. Just there, separately together.
Ty
Wait, so this isn’t the old dude?
Tate
It is.
Percy
It is!
Ty
Then if Asher is back to Ashley, is this how he tells us he’s into it more than he let on?
Nick
Wishful thinking, Ty? Asher is awful pretty, dude.
Ty
Fuck you, lol.
Percy
I wear girl clothes sometimes. It doesn’t have to be a thing.
Michael/Jamie
I’d be down for some silk and lace.
Ty
Oh, God. Please tell me Michael still has the phone.
Wren
Lol. Dead man typing, Ty.
Cal
Balls, dude. Respect.
Nick
Whoa. I once knew a guy named Ty …
Jack
That’s Luke? Damn. I can see the appeal.
Cal
I’m literally right next to you.
Jack
You wanna go?
Ty
No, he doesn’t. I just got home. Y’all go to Cal’s for a change.
Cal
Can’t. My RA’s a dick.
Percy
At least your dormmate doesn’t suck.
Cal
Or does he?
Jack
He sure as shit better not. Your dick is mine!
Cal
Ty! Save me!
Ty
Fuck off. Asher drops this bomb and walks off? I’m pissed. I want the full episode.
Hey guys.
Michael/Jamie
About damn time. The fuck is this shit?
Percy
Weird, even mad, I can still tell it’s Jamie.
Lol. Long story.
Ty
Give us the short version that spares no details.
Wren
I’m actually pretty invested in this drama too.
Nick
Same. More than I expected to be.
Jack
Spill! Spill!
Tate
I’m happy to see you both smiling, Asher. Good news, I hope.
I convinced him to go on a date with Ashley, now that he knows it’s me, we took that last night.
Ty
Okay, so where’s the drama? The action? Did you get in a cat fight with some girl? Scratch her up?
Cal
You should write fanfic, Jesus.
Not quite so trashy as that. We ran into his momma on the way out.
Percy
Oh no.
Tate
Oh no.
Nick
Momma for the cockblock. Classic.
Wren
Daaaamn. What happened?
Ty
She throw down?
Lol. Not likely. She’s too pinky up for throwing down more than her credit card.
Ty
Nah. Toss her in a vat of mud, and I bet she’d wrestle.
Jack
So fucking random, Ty.
Nick
Lol, she totally would.
Percy
Give us more, Asher!
Michael/Jamie
Did you tell that bitch off?
Not exactly. Well, not at all. She invited me over for dinner.
Ty
The fuck?
Wren
Ohhh this is gooood. Hahahaha.
Michael/Jamie
You aren’t going, are you?
Getting ready for it right now.
Percy
As Ashley?
Yep. For those who know, imagine the Wolf Pack but with money and fighting with threats of “their daddy” instead of fists. That’s these people. I ain’t gonna sit by while Luke gets bullied by his own fucking family. Oh, hell nah.
Tate
Good for you.
Michael/Jamie
Fuck their shit up!
Ty
Piss in their bushes!
Cal
Accidently drop every single crystal glass they give you.
Jack
“My bad, butter fingers.”
Nick
Exactly.
As much as I want to do all that, oddly even piss in the bushes, I won’t make things worse for Luke. I just want to help him get through the night. They put him in a bad mood, so I’m the buffer.
Wren
That works too.
Ty
Yeah, alright. Not as fun, but keep us posted.
Percy
Be safe!
Jack
Get laid for your efforts.
Ty
Fuck, fine. I’m leaving. You two go at it like rabbits.
Cal
Ty, come back!
Did you seriously just text that instead of telling him in person?
Cal
It’s more fun this way.
Lol. Thanks for the laughs, y’all. I needed them before this shitshow begins.
Percy
You got this.
Michael/Jamie
But if you don’t, we’ll all piss in their bushes.