Chapter 25
I dropped to my knees, and Asher hissed, tunneling his fingers into my hair.
How was this possible? How, after so many years pushing this need away, had this one young man shown me how to be the one thing I never thought I could?
Me.
Asher had shown me how to be me.
I wanted this to last forever, to express to him all night long how grateful I was, but the fact remained, my orgasm wouldn’t wait.
If I didn’t make a move, do something, I was going to come like a fourteen-year-old me having a wet dream.
With my hands firmly clasped onto his hips, fingertips digging into the meat of his cheeks, denying their need to tremble, I buried my face into his groin and groaned.
He’d gone all out for our date, waxing away every trace of hair for the ruse that had brought us to this moment.
The moment of being with him like this, vulnerable and authentic, or the moment of me on my knees for him, worshipping the chance he’d given me?
Both, perhaps, and both were inevitable from the start.
Woody, smokey, and sweet, Asher had used my bodywash. Trailing my open mouth over his soft skin, inhaling deeply, I tasted his heat, tasted my scent on him.
The muscles under my exploration tensed before he tightened his fingers in my hair. Need flared. This physical connection between us swelled the emotional one, consumed, drowned me until I wanted every sense filled with him. Until I was utterly ruined and obsessed without him.
His soft musk in my lungs, his body heat warming palms and face, his elevating panting humming in my ears, his trembling chin dominating my vision, I leaned closer and with the flat of my tongue licked from balls to tip, thoroughly immersed.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Outside of my darkest fantasies, I’d never imagined this moment.
My very first experience with a cock, hard, starving, and impatient for my attention, was much more integral than expected.
I needed it, wanted it, craved it on my tongue.
Like being born, I took my first breath and knew I’d never be able to live without it.
Then I engulfed him.
“Luke.” His knees buckled, but he caught himself. “Shit.”
This man. Fuck me, this man.
Hard lines and angles came alive under my hands. Long limbs, bones, and muscles flexed, twisted, and shuddered at my touch.
After the second time he swayed, nearly falling over, I pulled off him, slowly, with teasing licks to his tip.
Asher grinned when I stood. “Need you,” he said.
The call of his skin nearly drove me insane, so much of it available to me, for my gaze, my touch. I needed a taste. Not just one. I licked along his shoulder, then kissed the hollow of his throat with my open mouth to inhale as much as savor.
“You have me,” I whispered with my lips at his ear. “All night. Tomorrow. All of the tomorrows. You have me.”
I turned, backing him to the bed until he got the hint and sat down before sliding backward to lie in the middle, draped across the white duvet. Like my prince, stretched and languid, he waited and watched.
A shaft of moonlight slashed harshly across his body, right over his heart.
A sliver of white, a glimpse of how I once viewed my future.
Never enough. Wanting. A minimum, a rarity, a tease.
A lone embrace as if even the barest touch would satisfy the cravings too scarce to be named.
Asher deserved so much more, but like a miracle, he gave me more, gave me everything.
“Thank you for choosing me. For wanting to be here.” After that dinner party, I wouldn’t have blamed him for wanting to go home, to leave me to my ill mood, but he didn’t. He wanted me.
With a shaking hand, Asher reached, implored—offered me more than he’d ever know.
And like a man starved for affection, I snatched his gift, clutched it to my cheek, and closed my eyes for only a moment, giving fate a heartfelt thank-you.
Eyes boring into mine, assessing, like a challenge to see how much I could stand, if I could hold out against the weight of his demand, he skimmed his free hand down his chest, then wrapped long fingers around his base.
“Finish what you started, Flirt.”
I couldn’t deny the command, didn’t want to, really, and placed a knee on the bed, then my hands, and crawled over him to lap at his tip he held steady for me.
We hummed as one. So fucking good.
I took him to the throat on the first downward swoop.
My gag reflex was surprising but minimal, and I swallowed around it, savoring everything about it.
I was made for this. Moaning at the overwhelming rightness, at my own hunger for more, I pushed my limits until he wiggled and raised his hips to meet me.
“Luke. God, you’re so good at that.”
And thank fuck for natural talent. I adjusted between his legs so I could hold his hip and toy with his balls. He was soaked. My saliva dripped low to his taint. I rubbed it in and farther back.
“Yes, do it,” he ordered, and I submitted. This night would see my simplest fantasies come true, and they would be with him.
He’s mine.
I worked my middle finger between his cheeks. Asher cried out when I pressed the sensitive spot hidden there.
“Luke. Fuck. I’m sorry.”
I popped off his length, then stilled. “What do you mean?”
He took a few deep breaths, chest rising and falling rapidly, as I prepared for the worst. He’d changed his mind. He’d come to his senses and realized I wasn’t worth the effort. He’d had enough. It’d been more than he was ready for. He—
“I’m close. Wanted … to last, but … not happenin’.”
“Jesus Christ,” I breathed, brushed my relieved smile over his inner thigh, and then kissed the silky spot. “Come, then,” I said, hugging his leg. “Show me how well I’ve been for you.”
Asher raised to one elbow and clutched a fistful of my hair in his hand, directing me to his cock. “Yes, baby. You’ve been such a good boy. Now, finish me off. Make me come.”
I whimpered, not proud of the sound, but not overly concerned either. In the years of repressing my needs, I’d never once considered what role I might play in this. Would I be in control or out of it? Would I be the one to command or submit?
Lowering to him, gladly, and giving him what he wanted, enthusiastically, I took him again, sinking until I choked and pushing on his tight, hot hole until he moaned. His body sucked me in and suffocated me, yet tethered me gently. The contradictions kept me dizzy.
“Luke,” he shouted and exploded with praises filling the air. “Luke, mmmm, oh God.” He shivered and pumped a few more shots of come in my mouth.
When he was spent and liquid in my hands, I pulled back, releasing him to crawl over his stomach. I jerked myself hard and fast, leaning over and bracing with one hand near his head.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he slurred. “Come on me, Luke. Claim me.”
I did. With a deep groan, my balls emptied, sending mesmerizing white stripes onto his skin. “Mmm, yeah,” I moaned, then panted as the high mellowed into bone-deep satisfaction. I sat on my heels, lazily appreciating everything about this moment.
For the first time in my life, at thirty-four years old, I had a man in my bed. In past dreams, I figured this day would never come. Yet meeting Asher had made it all the most natural thing, an unavoidable part of my future.
I lifted his leg and kissed the inside of his calf. “I’m gonna shower, but I’ll get you cleaned up first.”
“Mhmm,” he hummed, eyes closed, arms loose over his head.
I lowered his leg and jumped from the bed, strangely energized from the orgasm instead of my normal sedation. I got the showering going, then wet a cloth and took it to Asher. He watched me approach with a smile.
“Feelin’ good?” he asked.
I nodded, a pleased grin curling my lips. Once I’d wiped him clean, I kissed his damp chest, then returned to the bathroom.
Steam cleared my head, and the hot pressure of the water relaxed my muscles. What would happen now? Would this night prove our firsts for everything?
Playing with Asher’s ass had been natural, instinctual, and cranked my desires to full throttle, but also set a desire within.
I—wanted the same. With an excessively lathered hand, I slipped into my crease.
Thoughts of shame rose as usual, which I automatically tamped down with excuses.
I needed to clean, didn’t I? This was all a part of good hygiene, wasn’t it?
Not this time.
I arched into the touch, pushed harder, teased the furled skin longer. My dick gave a hearty kick, plumping faster than normal. Refractory what? Jesus, fuck, I was seventeen again and ready for another round.
With a giddy but silent chuckle, I finished, rinsing the suds but not the yearnings.
When I emerged, hair wet but body dry, Asher was standing next to the bed with his hands on his hips. I came up behind him, my revitalized dick brushing his perky ass as I curled around his back.
“I don’t understand all of these layers,” he said as he considered the bed.
I snickered and rested my forehead on his shoulder.
“What?” he asked with his own laugh.
“Nothing. I just love how honest you are. You don’t pretend with me. You don’t care about showing your limits.”
“Why would I? How am I supposed to figure it out if I don’t ask about things?”
“Why, indeed.”
I moved around him and pulled the duvet off. “This usually ends up on the floor.”
“Then why have it?”
“Aesthetics?”
“Mmmkay. You’ve got two more.”
I lifted the thick top blanket. “This is for cold nights.” I stripped it back and held the next one, thinner but heavier. “This one is weighted.”
“Weighted? The fuck?”
“Trust me, it’s amazing.” I folded it down, then pulled the sheet with it.
Then—pillows.
The top layer was flung to the floor. Since I wouldn’t be sleeping alone, or possibly sleeping at all, I tossed the few I kept for various positions I might find myself in at night.
“Rich people,” Asher tsked.
I spun him around, catching him by surprise, then tossed him onto the bed. He went down shrieking and came up laughing.
“Heathen,” he cried as I jumped. We wrestled and grappled, tickled and rubbed. I bit him in several places until I got him on his back. With hands pinned over his head, I lowered and licked across one nipple.
“Ah.” He arched for more.
The dark nub hardened instantly. I licked again, then sucked and pinched it between my teeth. Asher’s hard cock lifted as he hissed.
“Like a little pain?”
“Reckon I do,” he panted.
Before doing the same to the other, I traced his jutting ribs with my tongue. They expanded with every breath.
“I’ll taste every inch,” I promised both of us, then sucked on his other nipple.
“Same. I’ll have every part of you on my tongue.” His words held undeniable confidence, even as I had him pinned under me.
“Everything,” I said against his chest and kissed my way to his neck. His body welcomed mine as he had on the sofa, opening with a head-to-toe hug for me. “I want to try everything with you. We’ll figure out what we do and don’t like as long as we communicate.”
“Mhmm. I mean, I’ll try. You kinda fried my brain, and words don’t make sense.”
I chuckled and kissed him. “We’ll figure it out regardless of actual words.”
We lazily kissed and roamed blindly over each other with our hands, in no hurry this time.
“Have you played with your ass before?” I asked.
Asher grinned. “Oh, you assumin’ you’re fuckin’ me.”
“I—” I reared back. “I didn’t …”
And in the moments of my hesitation, my stuttering, Asher took the advantage. He bucked and twisted, our positions summarily reversed with me beneath him.
Straddling my hips with his hands clamped firmly around my wrists he’d flung over my head, Asher leaned low, rubbed his nose on mine, and hummed.
“Better.” He licked my lips. “How about you let me in, hmm?”
The heat in his eyes didn’t mean just my mouth. Asher wanted to fuck me. My cock jerked, very much on board with this.
“Yeah.” I swallowed to wet my throat. “Yeah, I like the sound of that.”
“Where’s your lube?”
I glanced at the nightstand.
Asher reached for it and yanked open the top drawer. I’d been hoping for this, for weeks now, and had prepared. He pulled the bottle free with a condom.
“Want me to do the prep?” I asked.
“No. I want to. I’ve not done this, so I want to know everything.” Asher bit his lip and smiled at the same time. “I can’t figure out if I’m excited that we’re both clueless or nervous as fuck that we’re gonna mess up.”
I snickered. “Same. It’s like a magic eight ball in my brain. Every second, it turns over and says, ‘Concentrate and ask again.’”
Asher laughed. “Right? Oh, my God.” His laughter died off when I lifted my knees. He swallowed hard, blinked, then repeated, “Right. Oh, my God.”
Tone. Changed. Everything.