1. Aria
ONE
ARIA
Out for coffee
Richard’s new house is at the redefined edge of the woods, the old house and previously standing woods knocked down by a tornado over the summer.
In a roundabout way, that tornado is the whole reason I’m here.
It’s a perfect storm. Tornadoes and lightning create ideal conditions for new mushroom growth.
When Richard called me saying he’d discovered a potential new strain of mycelium, I canceled my fall semester plans to come back to Foxboro and study it.
Not like teaching at the university is making me millions anyway.
It makes me about $1,000 per three credit hour class, plus gives me fifty hours a week of work and office hours where kids cosplaying as adults cry about their A minuses.
Luckily, I’m still living off the trust left in my parents’ wake when I was a baby, though that won’t last forever.
If Richard and I find something significant, I could apply for grant funding to study it.
Richard offered to feed and house me the whole time I’m here, and I don’t need much else. He said to consider it the Dr. Hines Fund.
So, here I am, Dr. Johnson studying under Dr. Hines, two mycologists in the field.
If I’ve got my old friend Richard, the woods, and time, I’ve got what I need.
I return to my car, the rust bucket’s door creaking like any time you open it might be the last time, and toss my bag inside. I grab my favorite foraging basket from the backseat, throw on a baseball cap to protect my hair from ticks, and head into the woods.
Some of my favorite commonplace mushrooms show their sunny faces just a few steps into the forest. Trametes versicolor , turkey tail, this variety with a hint of blue in its colorful bands.
Armillaria mellea , the honey mushroom, are in a long path of clusters above the creek bed.
I remember that same trail of honey mushrooms from when I was a kid, spending every hour I could spare tromping these woods.
But halfway up an oak tree, I spot one of my favorites that is harder to find: Piptoporous betulinus , a birch polypore.
They have a variety of medicinal uses—including as a bandage—and I haven’t found a good specimen in a while.
The tree’s going to be hard to get up, but I’ve got my thick overalls on today.
They probably won’t rip if I climb it bear-style, shimmying up the tree.
I put my knife where it’s easy to reach on my outer hip.
But first, I need to get some b-roll.
Yes, I gave in to the internet’s whims, and now I’m a bit of a mushroom influencer of sorts.
I resisted for a long time, but for a while, I dated what you’d call a “mushroom celebrity.” He doesn’t have a PhD like me, but he’s spent enough time at conferences, studying, and bushwhacking that he knows his stuff.
We met in undergrad, where we were both botany majors.
I thought he was cute, but kind of a pain in the ass.
When our paths crossed again at a conference a few years out of school, we hit it off.
And before we fell apart, I became moderately famous on his channel.
When we broke up, I made my own social media accounts. I now have the same number of followers as he does, thank you very much.
Another point in the “I don’t need a man” bucket.
I position my phone on the ground, facing the tree in question, and hitch my boot to a knot on the bottom of it. Then I start my ascent.
Pole dancing classes during undergrad were worth their weight in gold.
I can climb the skinniest little trees with no issue.
This oak’s a little more challenging. It’s fortunately not full-size or I’d never be able to get my thighs around it.
My quads strain with the climb, but it’s just a few more pulls before I’m at the coveted polypore.
I pull my knife from my hip pocket and flip open the blade, sawing at the woody base of the mushroom.
Then, a crashing sound moves my way at an alarming speed. I go into lizard brain mode. Is it a tree? No, the tree would have fully fallen by now. Is it an animal? Definitely, but what kind?
It’s getting closer, and closer. Is that . . . two legs? I drop the mushroom into my basket below, right as my legs give way and the figure appears.
Red hair. Broad shoulders. More muscles than I can count.
Brown eyes I know all too well.
I fall right onto Brodie Campbell, my first kiss and my worst enemy.