Chapter 14 Cal #2
I hated when she caught us alone like this. Should I make her leave? As the kid, could I do that? I ground my molars. Why did they put us in the middle like this?
Cara and I exchanged a glance before she rushed upstairs, and I followed after Momma.
I leaned into the doorframe of Daddy’s office while Momma thumbed through the papers in the folder she brought but stared at everything on his desk.
“You don’t have to watch me like a hawk,” she said.
“I’m not—”
“Save it. I’m sure your daddy puts you up to it.” She slapped some papers onto his desk, then pinned me with a glare, eyes narrowing. “Does he stay home every weekend?”
I only shrugged. I didn’t know or care what Daddy did unless he let me know in advance, which he didn’t.
Momma huffed. “You’re gonna be just like him. I can see it. So wrapped up in football and your friends, you’ll forget about this family.”
I worked my jaw back and forth to keep from saying anything. It wouldn’t matter anyway. If I didn’t say shit, didn’t tell her she was wrong or throw it in her face exactly who taught me how to neglect family, then she’d leave sooner.
She glanced around the room again, then moved from behind his desk. Not that I felt any more protective of the details of his life versus hers, but I relaxed a little when she stopped scoping out the place.
“Are you taking care of Cara? Why’re y’all home so early? Did you skip school?” She didn’t wait for me to answer. “I was depending on you to step up. Cara needs a responsible older brother.”
“Today was the fall festival. Did you stop by?” I asked, knowing she didn’t but hoping she’d feel bad about accusing me of shit, maybe apologize or, hell, wince about it.
I got neither of those reactions.
“Cal, I don’t have time for that anymore.”
But you have time to sneak here when Daddy’s not?
She kept going, but I tuned it out. Cara, despite the efforts of my parents, was doing a lot better than me; she shouldn’t act worried on that account.
Everything Momma said I wanted to throw back at her.
If she wanted to know how Cara was, she could fucking ask her.
Cara might need me to some degree, but she needed her parents too.
I needed my parents and for more than just telling me how much of a priority I wasn’t.
Momma left without a kind word, and I kept my mouth shut to keep the peace.
I didn’t want to be put in the middle of it, but I had to wonder if I stayed quiet only because then they couldn’t brush me aside even more.
As long as I didn’t give them something to ignore, some shred of my life they could dismiss, then they weren’t technically abandoning me, right?
That evening, Cara wasn’t hungry for dinner after eating junk all afternoon, and Daddy would be late again, so I played video games before the guys came over.
Michael brought Jamie—as always—and Asher with him. The pair stayed on the deck and entertained Cara while Nick, Michael, and I tossed around the football in the backyard.
“Think you’re getting voted king?” Nick asked once we’d hammered out the game particulars.
I caught the ball and held it a few extra seconds before passing it back. “Really hope I don’t.”
Michael snorted. “Thank fuck I’m never on the ballot.”
“There’s always the write in name,” Nick said.
I slapped my hands, then spread them as I waited for the ball to come my way again. “Reserved for Chris Hemsworth, who probably wins every year, but they won’t announce him.”
“Fucker gets my vote.” Nick laughed.
“The whole thing is stupid anyway.” Every year, I asked the school’s admin to remove me from the voting, because every year, I sure as shit was on it. They wouldn’t.
“Cal?”
The three of us turned at the snapped word. Sasha stood on the deck, hands on her hips as she glared at me over the heads of Cara, Jamie, and Asher sitting on the steps.
Jesus, fucking, Christ. Why was she here?
“And that’s our cue to disappear,” Nick said as he captured the ball one last time and tucked it under his arm.
“Take Cara inside,” I muttered to both of them.
Jamie got to his feet with an unspoken command from Michael and backed away.
Slowly, my closest friends slithered into the house and left me alone with my ex-girlfriend.
Though they didn’t know that yet. I hadn’t said anything, even to them, not wanting the added drama if news leaked.
Sasha would be out for blood at that point.
I stepped onto the patio and turned so her back was to the house’s many windows. “Why’re you here?” I asked with a surprisingly even tone.
She didn’t make a scene, yet. Keeping her voice low and not closing the distance I’d set between us, she hissed, “You would do this before Homecoming.”
At least she sounded as if she’d accepted it.
“I didn’t time it or anything.” Fact. Had she not been such a bitch that night, things might’ve been different.
“So you’d rather me walk arm in arm with some other guy?”
“You may not win,” I said before my brain could tell me not to.
She gasped, flinging her bag off her shoulder and striking me with it. The metal buckle on the front dug into my arm. I gaped in surprise as I rubbed the spot.
“How dare you, Calvin Winters?”
“What? What do you want me to say?”
“How about have some faith in your girlfriend? Maybe champion me like you do your jock buddies?”
Well, there went her accepting it.
“Ex,” I snapped.
She stamped her foot. “I swear it’s like you don’t even want to be with me.”
I threw my hands up. “And you’re not listenin’ to me.”
“It was a fight. A stupid fight.”
“It was much more than that. And hell, even if it had been a stupid fight, it doesn’t change the fact we’re not good together.” I gestured between us. “This is over.”
“It’s not like you’ve got a ton of other girls after you. You’re friend zoned by everyone except me. If I spread one word about your issue getting it up Saturday night, you’ll be the biggest joke in school too.”
I dropped my jaw, speechless, shocked. My what? This girl was insane. Not a shred of her could admit she’d come on way too strong. So strong I’d had to fight her off, for fuck’s sake. No, all she could see was me being the issue?
Un-fucking-believable.
“You should be proud to stand beside me on that field, Cal.”
“The only reason I’ll be on that field is because of the game. And the only reason I’ll stand next to you is if we’re elected. Pride won’t have nothin’ to do with it, but I won’t make a scene if you don’t.”
She barreled right on, never listening to me, just like Momma and Daddy.
I hung my head as she listed all the reasons I sucked. The reasons I should be grateful to be with her. Just let her go, man. Let her wear herself out.
The me over the last year had accepted these rants of hers, because maybe I did suck. Maybe I was boring beneath the smiles. Maybe I couldn’t be interesting enough for anyone to want to know more about me. Hell, even my parents didn’t have time for me.
Jack.
I shook my head. He hated me. He despised me. He’d punched me, then fucking stared at me as if he didn’t even know me.
But his brand of attention, no matter how he gave it, had never hurt like theirs.