Chapter 32 Jack #2
“Mom! Dad!” I yelled as I raced into the house.
“Jack?” Ty’s voice reached me from the living room, and I headed in that direction on instinct, seeking any sort of comfort or protection against the emotions swamping me.
We met in the hallway, and I collapsed into him.
“What the … Are you okay?”
I shook my head. “Cal,” I heaved, incapable of getting air. “M-mom?” The tightness in my chest wouldn’t let me say more.
“Hey, hey. Calm down. They’re on their way home from the store.”
My knees gave out, and I hit the floor. One arm around my waist, as if that might contain the panic, I leaned forward, seeking something. Maybe the cold tiles or something to bang my head against.
“You’re scaring me. What happened?”
I shook my head again as the tears took over, draining out of me as if they were bleeding my soul dry. Pressure mounted in my head, and all I could do was stare, eyes open but unseeing, and fight for air as Cal’s words played in my mind over and over.
I missed you.
You’re the only one.
Please.
He needed me. His family was shit to him, and I’d left him there alone to deal with it. I should’ve ignored his dad. What would he have done? Fought me? I could take him. I could take anything for Cal, and I’d fucking left him!
“Oh God …” I whispered and doubled over. Dizziness attacked me until I couldn’t tell up from down.
“Stay here.”
Ty left me, and my shivering took over.
Left me.
Left him.
Alone.
Cal! my heart screamed. Oh my God, Cal. What was he going through right now? What had his dad said? His words mashed together, yelling over top of each other. Sasha fighting? They thought Cal hurt her? Police? Nothing made sense.
Ty came back a minute later with his phone to his ear, a bottle of water, and a washcloth from the hall bathroom. “Please just hurry,” he yelled into the phone, then sat down beside me. With the washcloth, he wiped at my face, then coaxed me into drinking a little.
“Mom and Dad will be here any minute, okay? Just try to slow your breathing for me. Got it?”
It was too late. I was already hyperventilating. The painful lack of control in my hands and the tingling in my face scared me even more, and instead of slowing my breathing, it sped up.
“Jesus, Jack, please. Slow down.”
I wished I could comfort Ty as I hadn’t been able to for Cal, but I couldn’t even speak. The shadows were so dark I could barely see. Where did this end? What happened if I couldn’t stop it?
The garage door slammed open, but the sound was muted behind Mr. Winters yelling in my mind and Cal’s whispered please.
“Please, please, p-please,” I rambled.
“I think he’s going to faint,” Ty cried.
“M-m-m hhhhan ….” Face numb, I couldn’t tell him my hands had spasmed so badly they were trying to break bones.
One second, I couldn’t piece together what was happening around me, and the next, someone pushed my head between my knees.
I didn’t know who was behind me, holding me in place.
Mom forced her small hands into mine, prying them open, massaging the tension as someone else, maybe Dad, rubbed the knots in my muscles.
A paper bag was shoved over my nose and mouth. At first, it only added to the panic. Each breath I took wasn’t enough. The bag stuck to my mouth, like breathing through a pillow. I squirmed, not ready to suffocate but unable to get anything to work.
Inch by tortuously slow, painful inch, my body wore itself out, and I relaxed, leaving only a dull ache in my stiff muscles.
It wasn’t the first time I’d hyperventilated, but knowing what was happening never stopped how scary it all seemed in the moment. Or made me stop from barreling right toward it.
“Nice and slow, Jack,” Mom cooed near my ear. “There we go. Slow breaths. Hold it in, now let it out.”
When everything settled and I could lift my head again, I locked eyes with Dad, then Mom and Ty. My family surrounded me, and I broke into sobs again. Cal had no one. Cal made me leave to protect me from his dad, from whatever shit was being forced onto him, but who would protect him?
Mom circled me with her arms and shushed me as I cried harder against her shoulder.
“What happened?” Dad asked.
“I dunno. He mentioned Cal, but that’s all I got,” Ty said.
“Jack.”
I cracked my eyes open, but my vision was too blurry.
“Are you hurt anywhere?”
I managed a slight shake of my head.
“Is Cal hurt?” Dad asked.
And because I didn’t know, my tears renewed.
“Honey, we need you to calm down enough to answer, okay?” Mom said. “I’ve got you, and we can stay right here all night, but we need to know what happened.”
“C-Cal.” I hiccupped, then tried again. “Cal’s dad.” I breathed in and out. “Cal’s dad was yelling at him.” I glanced at Ty and whispered, “Sasha.” He knew all about what happened at school today—everyone did.
“Was his dad angry?” Mom asked.
I nodded. “Cal was crying.”
“Oh, honey.”
“I left him there alone,” I screamed and sobbed. “His dad was so mad.” I buried my face into Mom, as much in pain as in guilt.
“You did the right thing, Jack,” Dad said.
“Did I?” I snapped a glare in his direction and immediately felt like shit. Hate for myself filled me and spewed out of my pores. “I left him all alone.” What sort of boyfriend was I? A coward? “He didn’t do anything. He didn’t hurt her. She stabbed him!”
“What?” Mom gasped.
“That girl is nuts,” Ty said when our parents glanced at him.
“This Sasha, she hurt Cal?” Mom asked.
I nodded again. “I should’ve stayed and helped. I can’t believe I left him.”
“No, Jack, you did the right thing. His dad sounds furious, and you don’t need to be around that.”
Dad meant well, making sense, telling me the truth maybe, but I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted Cal. I wanted him out of his house and away from his dad, away from everything trying to tear him down. I wanted to know that when I walked out, his dad calmed down and left Cal alone.
After another few minutes, I felt bad for making everyone sit on the floor with me while I cried like a baby. I forced myself up on shaky legs. All three of them held me in some way until I was steady enough.
“Maybe we should call in a domestic disturbance. Have the police check on him,” Dad said.
“No.” I shook my head. “Don’t. It only makes things worse for Cal if his dad is bothered.”
“This man sounds like an asshole.”
“Honey.” Mom tsked. “Not helping.” To me, she said, “Go get a shower, sweetie. The heat will relax your muscles.”
I nodded and with Ty’s help got upstairs. He left me alone in the bathroom to pull myself together in private. I was so out of my mind with worry for Cal, I hadn’t noticed or cared about anything. I was lucky to have even made it home.
How had this night turned into a nightmare?
Showering consisted of me huddled on the tiles and letting the water beat down on me until it turned cold. I fell into bed a little damp because details were just too much to handle. Mom and Dad checked on me, then later, Ty did as well.
My texts to Cal went unanswered, and the worry I held on to twisted into fear. Did Cal think I had abandoned him too?
I lay on my side in a cocoon of blankets, alternating between shivers and cold sweats, checking my phone every ten seconds, eyes dry and burning. Closing them was no relief as it only made Cal’s dejected face that more vibrant. Hours passed. Sleep would have been a mercy I didn’t deserve.
Please be okay, Cal.
Please.