Chapter 24
KINCAID
DrunkenPoet: BBQ chicken or pork for pizza? Testing ideas for my sister’s birthday dinner.
IndexEcho: [No response]
DrunkenPoet: Index, you there? Get caught up on a long shift?
IndexEcho: [No response]
_____________________
When I woke up in Alex’s bed, he wasn’t there. Since there was a giant tractor-trailer in the back lot, I assumed he was getting an early morning delivery of some kind.
Unfortunately, Tavo was there, and I surprised him.
“Dios mio!” he yelped, jumping back and slapping a hand over his heart. “Chief Kincaid? What are you doing here?”
I’d been all ballsy last night, saying if we could keep Tavo’s secret, he could keep ours, but now in the bright light of morning, I didn’t feel nearly as in control.
In fact, everything in my life felt wildly out of control right about now.
“Uh, Alex said I could test his smoke detector,” I said stupidly.
Tavo looked unsure. “Okay?”
I stared at him. He stared back. Finally, he spoke. “Need me to show you where it is?”
I nodded.
He pointed up.
Sure enough, it was exactly where you would expect it to be. I reached up and pressed the Test button. It made a god-awful chirp that left a ringing in my ears despite the fact that I’d heard that sound hundreds of thousands of times.
“Works great,” I mumbled before getting the hell out of there.
I found my vehicle two streets over where I’d parked it and took off for the station house. When I arrived, things were already hopping. Thankfully, work stayed busy for the first half of the day, and by the time it slowed down, I’d chilled out a little.
I could figure this out. I’d think of a way to bring up our online history with Alex, we’d talk it through, and then we’d get past it. No problem.
My quasi-chill only lasted until I was called to the corporate office of Untrace for another small incident.
Once again, Will Wascomb had accidentally set his desk on fire.
“To be fair,” Hazel Marian said, staring at the twice-burned desk, “I did say he could still use a mug warmer at his desk.”
“Did you advise him to stop using paper at his desk while he used it?” I asked.
Ella Marian snorted from the doorway of her office, which was next to Will’s. “Critical oversight,” she murmured.
Will himself looked horrified and guilty. “I’m so, so sorry! What can I do to make it up to you, Ms. Marian?”
Hazel’s eyes widened. “Well, for one, you can stop calling me that. Since when do we do last names around here?”
Ella snickered and crooked her finger at me. “Now that the danger is gone, do you have a minute?”
I glanced at Sujo, who indicated he had everything under control, and then I followed Ella into her office. When she closed the door, I was surprised.
“How can I help?” I asked politely, reminding myself she had no idea I was in a relationship with her brother.
As far as she was concerned, I was the fire chief who gave her brother grief… not the fire chief who gave her brother dick.
I blew out a breath and tried to find my chill again, but it was gone.
“Who is my brother sleeping with?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest.
“Um, what?” I’d been wrong before when I thought I had no chill. Now I had actual negative amounts of it.
I had… what was the opposite of chill?
I had hellfire.
“I know you know who my brother is hooking up with. The other night at Frank’s, you corrected him.” Ella’s intelligent eyes bored into me. “Who’s the guy in Emigrant? I need to know, and he’s not talking.”
“Why do you need to know?” I asked, stalling for time.
“Okay, you don’t know this about my brother, but he’s actually very sweet. And naive. I don’t think he has as much experience as he claims to have, and I worry about him getting hurt.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn’t even know where to begin.
Which was fine because Ella kept talking. “Look, I’m going to tell you something in confidence, okay? And only because I’m genuinely worried.”
I nodded, throat tight, and she continued.
“He was talking to this guy online a few years ago and really fell for him. Only the guy ended up ghosting him. Alex totally believed this guy’s story—that he had a dangerous job and he couldn’t meet up in person because he was stationed overseas at a ‘mystery location’ and blah blah,” she said with air quotes and an eyeball.
“He even thinks the guy died and that’s why he suddenly disappeared. That’s how naive he is.”
“Or maybe the guy was exactly who he said he was,” I tried. “Maybe Alex wasn’t naive at all. Maybe something really did happen to him. Maybe he… maybe he’s been desperate to get back in touch with Alex all this time but hasn’t found a way yet.”
“In several years?” Ella snorted. “At this point, I hope the asshole stays gone because no good could come of them getting in touch again. The whole experience… it broke Alex, Chief. Crushed him. He spent years grieving someone who might never have existed, and he’s avoided getting close to anyone romantically ever since.
It’s like he’s almost expecting to get his heart broken again.
” Her eyes met mine. “So if Alex finally has put himself out there again, I need to make sure whoever he’s hooking up with isn’t another asshole user who’s going to fuck him over or saddle him with more pain and confusion.
” She blew out a breath. “My brother deserves happiness. Simple, uncomplicated happiness.”
I stared at her.
She was right that Alex deserved nothing but happiness. But she was wrong about wanting the past to stay buried. Alex would want to know who I’d been to him. Who we’d been to each other. That wasn’t a complication; it was the truth. A part of our story.
Ella firmed her jaw in a way that was very familiar. “So tell me who the guy is,” she said.
I wanted to tell her it was me. And that I was sorry for what Alex went through. And that I cared more for him than any ten more perfect men ever could.
But I wasn’t about to tell her before I told him.
I shook my head. “I don’t know anyone in Emigrant, I’m sorry.”
Ella was kind of cute when she was stymied. “Well, hell. How can that be? How did you know he was seeing someone in Emigrant, then?”
“I didn’t. It was all a big misunderstanding. Sorry, I need to get back to the station. Talk to your brother, Ella. If he wants you to know who he’s seeing, he’ll tell you. He’s a big boy. Give him credit for making his own decisions.”
I didn’t wait for her response. After telling Sujo I was heading out, I left… feeling ten times worse than I had this morning or last night.
Halfway back to the station, a call came in for a barn fire clear on the east side of town. I threw on lights and sirens and pulled onto the highway right behind one of our trucks.
I spent the rest of the afternoon dealing with a multi-structure fire that decimated three outbuildings and a quarter of the Hilldales’ largest barn.
When I finally got a break just long enough to take a leak and down a bottle of water, I shot off a text to Alex.
Will you come over tonight?
Firebug
Can’t. Have a big SERA instructor dinner here expected to run late and an early staff meeting in the morning. Tomorrow night?
I stared at the screen. We needed to talk. God only knew how long this shit could eat at me before I became physically sick from carrying it around.
I have a crew dinner, but I’ll duck out early. My place, eight tomorrow night?
Firebug
Sounds perfect
I stared at the hearts as my own did a flip-flop in my chest. This man was it for me. Done. End of discussion.
I’d thought I was falling for him before, when I only knew him as DrunkenPoet. But that was nothing compared to the feelings I had for Alexander Marian.
I would do anything to keep him…
Even if it meant sitting on this news for thirty more hours.