Chapter 28
KINCAID
To: OpSec Director, Sillar, Johns, and Covey
Re: Request Replacement Device/Online Access
Judd Kincaid: Due to the accident that led to my evacuation to Ramstein, my personal phone was lost/unusable. Please advise if a replacement device can be issued or if I have authorization to procure one locally in order to reestablish secure online access. Respectfully, Judd Kincaid
_____________________
The grocery store flowers shook in one hand as I reached the other out for the heavy brass knocker on the massive door to the Marian Lodge.
“You can do this,” Kaidee said under her breath. “I got your back.”
I swallowed a lump of nerves in my throat.
She’d told me about seeing Alex last night on her way into town from Colorado and how he’d acted strangely.
After two glasses of wine, I’d confessed the whole thing.
DrunkenPoet, IndexEcho, the time it took me between learning the truth and confessing it to him, everything.
And she’d been amazing.
When Hazel and Avery Marian had stopped into the firehouse a few days ago to personally invite me to their family’s house for Thanksgiving, I’d assumed I would be having the meal with the two women and their new baby.
Never in a million years did I realize it was a giant Marian gathering at the lodge until after I’d already committed to coming.
But then it was like some other part of me—the part that had spurred me to keep showing up at Timber every other day for no good reason, the part that refused to give up on Alex, on us—had stubbornly insisted on going, if only to force Alex to bear witness to the fact that I was still here.
I existed in the world despite his efforts to pretend nothing between us had ever happened.
“Hi, welcome! Come on in,” an older man with graying strawberry-blond hair said as he waved us inside. “I’m Blue Marian, and this is my husband, Tristan. And you are…?”
Just my luck Alex’s own parents were the ones who opened the door. “Judd Kincaid,” I said, handing Blue the flowers. “And this is my friend Kaidee Driscoll.”
After all of the friendly greetings, shaken hands, and offers to hang up coats, we were led into a large half-commercial kitchen, where the family was gathered around a huge island filled with various platters, pie plates, and dishes on trivets.
“What can I get you two to drink? Our family prides itself on our wine selections, but we also have—”
“He likes a craft brew called Summer Song,” Alex said from a hallway behind me. As soon as he came fully into the room, I was struck stupid. He was wearing my favorite color on him—a heather green sweater over wash-worn blue jeans. “It’s similar to the Get Lost Pale Ale in the fridge.”
“What about you?” Blue asked Kaidee. I didn’t hear what she said because I was still listening out for Alex’s voice.
He glared at me.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” I murmured.
“Is it?”
I turned, wondering if I should just collect my coat and get the hell out, but I caught Blue’s eye, and he nodded me over to a second fridge off to the side.
“Pale ale’s in here. There’s a bunch of other stuff, too, since my parents will have people here pretty much nonstop from now through New Year’s. ”
I glanced back at Kaidee and saw someone hand her a glass of wine. She was happily chatting with several people and looked perfectly at ease.
I walked to the fridge and tried to select a beer, but the entire contents of the fridge became a colorful blur. My brain kept giddily reminding me that Alex was nearby, and my entire consciousness was stubbornly focused on him.
After a moment, Blue grabbed one and shut the door, handing the cold can to me. “This one.”
The beer in my hand was the one Alex had recommended. A local Montana brew he carried at Timber. “This is great, thanks.”
“So, Chief Kincaid,” Blue began. “Tell us about yourself. Ella said you’ve been working in Legacy since the spring?”
I cleared my throat. “Yes, sir.”
He barked out a laugh that startled me, mostly because I was wound up tight from the stress of the situation. “No sirs, please. I save those for my husband during special moments.”
I felt my face flush. “I’m not sure how to answer that, to be honest.”
He laughed. “How old are you? You’re acting like you’re one of my kids’ ages, but I hope you don’t take offense when I tell you I don’t think I’m old enough to be your father.”
“Forty.”
“Phew. Was afraid for a minute that I’d offended a guest in record time.”
I liked the guy. Which made me feel even more like an ass for the spiteful, untrue things I’d said about Alex’s family. “No offense taken. I promise.”
“So, I hear you take a keen interest in my son’s safety. At Timber, I mean.”
“I do,” I said cautiously, bracing myself for a lecture or to be hassled by a protective father, but it didn’t come.
“I appreciate that. Tristan and I both do. Our children are the most important people in our lives, obviously, and anyone who wants to keep them safe is okay in our book.”
I ground my back teeth together, glanced around for a sign of Alex, and focused back on his Papa when I didn’t find it. “I would do anything to keep your son safe.”
The man’s eyes widened in surprise and then immediately, maybe out of habit, sought out his husband’s. Tristan noticed Blue’s expression like he was as attuned to Blue as I was to their son, and he quickly made his way over to us.
“What exactly is your relationship with Alex?” Blue asked.
I gave him a half smile. “Let’s just say I never knew a love-hate relationship was a real thing until I met Alexander Marian.”
The two of them exchanged a look before Tristan said, “Maybe you should go check on him and find out where he went. He probably snuck off to avoid being social. He’s been in a strange mood today.”
After directing me to a bedroom, they left me to converge around Kaidee, obviously making sure she was taken care of while I went searching for their wayward son.
I found him exactly where they directed me, only he wasn’t just hiding; he was punching something.
A heavy bag hung from a two-by-four mounted on the ceiling in an alcove in one corner of a small collection of rooms that looked like it was half guest suite and half home gym.
“Hi,” I said carefully.
He shook out his hand from the punch but didn’t turn to look at me. “Why are you here?”
“Here in this room? Your dads sent me up here to stand in for the heavy bag, I think.”
His nostrils flared in annoyance.
“Hazel and Avery invited me,” I admitted. “I thought I was attending a simple affair at their house.”
Alex’s shoulders dropped as he exhaled. “Well, there’s that picture-perfect family you talked about, Kincaid. Making sure everyone feels fucking welcome all the fucking time.”
Guilt stabbed at me. “Do you want me to go?” I asked in as steady a voice as I could.
He finally turned around and looked at me, and his expression was full of emotion.
Anger, resentment, guilt, exhaustion. “You know what I really want? I really want you to get on your knees and suck my dick, Chief. I want you to give me what I need without any of this… this… emotional fucking bullshit that I can’t fucking get out from under! ”
That “emotional fucking bullshit” was exactly what I wanted from him. But I knew he didn’t want that from me right now. So, okay. I’d give him what he did want.
What we both wanted.
I kept my eyes on him as I took a step toward him. Then another. And another.
And I sank to my knees at his feet.
Alex sucked in a breath, and I could tell he was trying to decide whether to retract his words or not.
But he didn’t.
I reached for the button on his jeans and flicked it open. The sound of his zipper lowering filled the room.
“What about Kaidee?” he asked in a low voice.
I shook my head slowly. I was pretty sure he knew the answer to that. At least I hoped he did. But I answered anyway. “Still just a friend.”
“This doesn’t mean anything,” he snapped as I pulled his pants and underwear down to mid-thigh, releasing his already hard cock and the scent of my favorite human.
I leaned forward and inhaled at the spot where his leg met his body. That warm crease of skin. Then I tasted it.
It means something to me, Alex. And it always will.
“Okay,” I murmured, keeping the rest of my thoughts to myself.
Alex’s fingers threaded into my hair. “Stop dicking around,” he said through clenched teeth, moving my head closer to his cock.
I obeyed him by taking the base of his cock in my hand and bathing his shaft and tip with my tongue. Then I dropped down over his cock and took him as deep as I could, wrapping my tongue around him and going for it.
He grunted and curled over me, arching into me. The tiniest whimper sound came from him as if he was trying to hold back.
I heard you, sweetheart. You need me. You need me to make you feel good the same way I need you right here, right now.
I sucked him off like I was in a fellatio competition, bobbing and sucking and teasing until his breaths were coming out in uneven, ragged pulls.
Neither of us said a word. Him because he was too busy sending all of his available brain cells out to lunch and me because I didn’t want to miss a moment of having his body as close to mine as he would let me.
I snuck my hands onto the firm globes of his ass and squeezed, pulling him even deeper into my throat until both of his hands were in my hair and he was whimpering again.
Come for me, beautiful.
Alex made a choking noise, and it took me a minute to realize it was because he was trying so hard not to express his pleasure to me.
I pulled off to bark at him to let go of his rigid control just as his release came jetting out. His spunk hit me hot on the nose, cheek, and chin.
Had anyone ever come on my face before? Absolutely not.
And maybe I would have been annoyed by the bad timing if I hadn’t seen the look on his face when he caught sight of me. Alex’s eyes widened before they darkened with heat. His ruddy cheeks turned darker, and pink splotches appeared on his neck as his mouth dropped open.
He quickly closed it and clenched his jaw. “We done here?”
I opened my mouth to tell him to go right to hell when I saw the tremble in his hands.
My sweet Alex was pretending. He was every bit as affected by this encounter as I was. And he wasn’t nearly as heartless as he was trying to seem.
I stood up, hard and aching enough that I needed to do a hip wiggle to readjust my dick in my pants before I gave the Marians a show downstairs.
“Guess so,” I said softly, reaching to swipe some of the cum off my face with a finger before making a slow production of sliding that digit into my mouth and sucking his flavor off it.
I let my eyelids drift closed for a split second as the salty tang hit my tongue. Then I opened my eyes and enjoyed every moment of his blown pupils from watching me.
He tilted his chin toward an adjoining bathroom.
“Clean up before you embarrass both of us,” he grumbled. Then he left.
I looked around the room, wishing for additional insight into his personality, but then I remembered he hadn’t grown up here.
There were, however, a ton of family photos on a wide built-in bookshelf, along with a selection of popular novels and several books on Montana and Yellowstone National Park.
There were framed photos of Alex at various ages with his dads and sisters. Photos of what I assumed was their family dog. A picture of Alex as a teenager with a group of other kids his age at a backyard barbecue.
The images in the photos dripped with wealth and privilege, but they also showed a large, loving family full of different personalities.
I noticed a photo of Alex and Tristan standing among vines heavy with grapes. Tristan’s arm was around Alex’s shoulders, and they both wore button-down shirts with an Alexander Vineyards logo over the pocket.
DrunkenPoet’s old messages ran through my head.
I love my family, but I don’t think this is the life I want.
Now that I’d met his parents, I was even more proud of him for leaving. It was one thing to leave your home when you had no family, no ties, as I had. It was another thing entirely to turn your back on a future that had been laid out for you and decide to forge your own path like Alex.
After finally moving to the bathroom, I cleaned up and ran fingers through my hair, trying to calm it down from the nest it had been after Alex’s greedy fingers had yanked at it.
When I finally rejoined everyone, people were starting to make plates in a buffet line around the big island.
Alex very carefully ignored me, but he was a little less icy to Kaidee. It was a concession of sorts, and I appreciated it.
Blue and Tristan, on the other hand, treated me like family.
Like they knew something everyone else didn’t.
I wondered if they were particularly perceptive, or maybe Alex had broken down and said something to them.
Either way, I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
Alex himself clearly wanted to hate me, while his dads treated me like one of their own.
Every time one of them went out of his way to suggest a dish or ask if I needed another drink, Alex scowled. It became almost comical, honestly, because with every scowl, I realized that Alex Marian was anything but ambivalent toward me.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about me at all. He clearly did. It was that his care was focused on the negative right now while he processed his anger and grief.
What he didn’t know was that I had time. With age came wisdom, and I was wise enough to wait him out.
Because I wasn’t going anywhere.
And Alexander Marian was mine.