Chapter 30
KINCAID
IndexEcho: Baby, I’m here.
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I could have killed him. Moreover, I was mad at myself for choosing to take Fire Marshal Houle to Timber. I’d thought it would help Alex out during the winter slow season, but as soon as we’d sat down and other groups started flooding the place, I’d realized how wrong I’d been.
While I was happy for Alex that his business was doing so well, it was a reminder of how difficult it had been for the two of us to find time together.
It had been hard enough finding that time when we both wanted it, but now that only one of us wanted it, it was near impossible. And sometimes I just wanted an excuse to look at him.
Unfortunately, Marshal Houle had taken the seat in the booth that would have given me a view of him, and it had also given her a better view to see when something went wrong.
Now, here we were.
Two nights after the fire extinguisher yeeting, I saw Alex across the square at Legacy’s Mistletoe Ceremony. I was still angry at him for the immature way he’d handled the situation at Timber when I’d even tried to spare him the official consequences of Juni’s actions.
But now, watching him as he gazed longingly at the two men kissing under the lights of the giant mistletoe ball, my anger blew away like tiny snowflakes caught in a gale.
He was so fucking beautiful. Pink-nosed and bright-eyed. His neck was covered in a thick cranberry-red scarf, but his hands were bare. I knew because I’d caught him shoving them deep into his pockets every time he began gesticulating with them and then remembered they were cold.
I wanted to go over there and talk to him, but he was surrounded by his cousins and sister, and I was there with a few members of my crew and their family members. As soon as it was acceptable to beg off and head home, I politely excused myself and said my goodbyes.
The house was quiet but cozy. I warmed up with a hot shower and headed to bed with plans to get up early and catch up on some expense reports first thing in the morning, but as soon as my head hit the pillow, there was an angry knock on the door.
It was Alex.
“Alex,” I said hesitantly, waiting for him to lash out.
He didn’t make eye contact with me. “I’m still angry. I just need to get some sleep, okay?”
“Okayyy?”
His jaw muscles moved before he spoke again in a rush. “I can’t sleep, and I need to sleep here. With you. But it doesn’t mean anything, and we’re not having sex. Just sleep. No talking.”
And then he pushed past me and headed straight for my bedroom.
I watched him go, the stiff set of his shoulders mixed with the overall slump of exhaustion. Then I turned back to lock the door and turn out the lights before joining him in bed.
He’d brought in the smell of snow and the almost-metallic scent of winter air, but as soon as he settled into my sheets and warmed up, he smelled like himself again. Yeast and woodsmoke mixed with red wine.
I didn’t dare touch him, only laid my head on my own pillow and pulled the covers back over me. After about four minutes, he began moving toward me comically slowly, as if he thought I wouldn’t notice.
“Jesus fuck,” I muttered, reaching out to yank him onto his side so I could move up behind him and hold him as the little spoon, the way I knew he wanted. “Go to sleep, Firebug.”
After a minute, his entire body finally relaxed against me. He reached for my hand and threaded his fingers through mine before sighing and settling for good.
I inhaled the scent of him—his shampoo and the warm spot behind his ear I couldn’t get enough of. I loved that he’d shown up here. That he’d needed me like this and took comfort in sleeping in my bed.
But I also recognized it was a slippery slope. His being here, sleeping in my bed and in my arms, wasn’t protecting anyone from future heartbreak. In fact, it was prolonging the agony if he wasn’t going to change his mind about being with me.
For tonight, though, I would take it. As soon as I was sure he was asleep with his rhythmic exhales and complete relaxation, I pressed a kiss to that spot behind his ear and murmured the words.
“I love you so fucking much.”
In the morning, he was gone, as I’d known he would be, and I was back to my lonely existence, completely at the mercy of his mercurial moods.
Which was why I decided to shake it up a little.
And accepted a date with the pretty outsider who’d shown up in Legacy for his hashtag holidates.
Unfortunately, before I could enjoy my bonfire date with Adrian Hayes—which I knew wasn’t really a date—the state fire marshal called to inform me in the politest of terms that I should pop into “that restaurant” for an inspection focused on their holiday decorations.
Since I was in the mood to needle him—and make sure Juni had replaced the K-class fire extinguisher—I headed to Timber during the lunch rush.
“Hi, Mali,” I said in a cheerful voice. “Happy holidays. How are you?”
She flashed me an uncertain smile. “Uh, okay? You here for lunch, Chief?” she asked hopefully.
“Nope. Here to check on Juni and her beloved fire extinguisher.”
She let out a little puff of air. “I don’t suppose I could convince you to come back in two hours when Alex is at a dentist appointment, could I?”
I grinned at her. “Not a chance.”
She hesitated. “Wait here.” And then she hustled to the back.
I waited patiently, waving hellos to people I knew and thanking several others who wished me a happy holiday. By the time Mali returned with Alex, I was actually feeling the holiday spirit.
“No,” he said upon greeting me.
“Ah, you’ve chosen to be the Grinch today, I see,” I said with a big grin. “Come on, why not embrace our new season of fire safety inspections? After all, I gave you an out, and you chose not to take it. I actually think you like getting… inspected from time to time.”
His eyes blinked rapidly as his lungs filled with hot air, ready to spew vitriol at me. “W-what? I most certainly do not!”
I shrugged. “Welp, might as well get it over with. I want this even less than you do, so let’s go.”
Alex followed me into the kitchen, still sputtering. Thankfully, the fire extinguisher was back where it belonged, even if it did have a framed photo of me above it with devil horns and a goatee scribbled on it in black Sharpie marker.
I took a similar marker out of my bag and leaned in to autograph it over the glass without saying a word. Juni actually let out a snort of laughter, so I winked at her.
Alex was not amused by any of it.
“Show me clear egress,” I said. “And I’ll be out of your hair.”
When we got to the back door, which was clear and passed the inspection, Alex poked a finger into my chest. “Stop coming here.”
I leaned in and brushed my lips over his ear. “Did you wake up hard and aching in my bed this morning, Firebug?”
His body shuddered. “N-no.”
I brushed my nose across his cheek and noticed he didn’t pull away. “Liar. I’ll bet you woke up with my morning wood pressed against your hole, and you thought about it. Thought about stripping us down and backing up onto my cock, didn’t you?”
His eyes fluttered closed. “I didn’t.”
“Didn’t do it or didn’t think about it?” I teased softly. “Either way, it’s too bad. I would have enjoyed waking up buried in your hot, tight ass.”
Two could play at the torture game.
And when I left Timber a minute later, I felt like I’d finally at least gotten myself on the board.