Chapter 18
Harlow
The SUV comes to a stop outside the Academy buildings, and I stare through the window at the familiar structures that no longer feel temporary. The palm trees sway gently in the breeze as we climb out of the vehicle.
No one speaks. Even the usual sounds of doors slamming and conversations starting seem muted, like the whole world has been wrapped in cotton.
I can’t believe this happened.
I catch sight of Jordyn’s dejected expression as she slides out beside me, her blonde hair limp with sweat and disappointment. My chest tightens with guilt.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her, meaning every word.
“Thanks,” she says, her voice flat. She won’t even look at me directly, just stares at the ground with her shoulders slumped.
John walks over to us. “Hey, congratulations, you guys,” he says, looking between Georgia, Dani, and me. “You bonded! I know you’ll make the most of it.”
“Thanks, John.” I note that he looks relieved he didn’t end up bonding with one of the dragons.
He gives Georgia what I can only describe as a look of pity and then walks away.
Georgia looks like she might start crying again, while Dani stares off toward the jungle like she’s planning an escape route.
“I really thought I was going to mind-bond with a dragon,” Jordyn says, her voice cracking. “I was sure of it. I could feel something when I walked past them, like this pull…but then…I got nothing.” She trails off, shaking her head.
“Just like I was sure I wouldn’t mind-bond with a dragon,” I say, feeling just as downtrodden. “I had it all planned out.”
“I hate this,” Georgia chokes out. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful to be alive.” A tear tracks down her cheek. “I was so stupid; I panicked.” She turns to me.
“You don’t have to thank me again.”
“But you saved my life.” More tears run down her cheeks. “I could have died. I could have gotten you killed.”
“Stop, Georgia,” I tell her. “It’s fine. It all worked out in the end.”
“Not really.” She wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “We’re both mind-bonded to fire-breathing dragons who might still end up killing us.”
“I don’t want to stay,” I tell her. “But we have to try to make the most of it.”
Georgia makes a noise that tells me she doesn’t agree at all.
Jordyn finally looks at me, her blue eyes bright with unshed tears.
“I wish I could stay. I wish we could trade places.” The longing in her voice makes my heart ache even more.
She actually wants what I’m being forced into, while I’m desperate for what she’s getting handed on a silver platter.
It’s all so stupid. Why can’t we choose?
I know it doesn’t work that way, but…still.
“I’m so glad I didn’t mind-bond with one of those creatures,” Carla announces as she joins our group, relief evident in every line of her body.
“I’m going home.” She pauses, seeming to realize how her words sound.
“I feel so bad for you guys, though.” She looks over at Georgia, who is the worst affected.
Our friend is pale and quiet, her freckles standing out against her wan complexion.
“I’m not cut out to be a dragon rider. I can’t be one. I’m wasting everyone’s time. They can’t train me to be something I’m not.” Her voice turns a little shrill.
“All I want is to go home,” Dani says, shaking her head. “But they’re going to force this on us.”
I glance over as Becca climbs out of the SUV next to ours, and the contrast between her demeanor and ours is stark.
She’s smiling – actually smiling – as she acknowledges the words of congratulations others are giving her.
But her usual group looks withdrawn and glum, probably because of what happened to Brianna.
One of the girls is openly crying, tears streaming down her face as she stares at nothing.
Someone else walks over to congratulate Becca, and she straightens up, her smile becoming more genuine.
“I’m thrilled I mind-bonded,” she announces, her voice carrying across to us.
But then her expression falters, and she looks down at the ground for a few moments.
She moves to comfort the crying girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
I note that her eyes are red-rimmed. Maybe she isn’t the hard bitch she likes to portray. Maybe there is more there.
“I can’t believe it’s just the four of us,” I say absently, still processing everything that’s happened.
“And Becca is the only one who actually wants to be here,” Dani says.
“Yep. It’s strange how these things work,” Jordyn adds.
I haven’t seen Drake since he flew away from the bonding field, and I’m not sure whether that’s a relief or a source of anxiety.
I know he won’t be happy about how everything went down – our carefully laid plan completely destroyed by his dragon’s protective instincts and my inability to just stand there and watch Georgia die…
which in hindsight would not have happened, but how could I know that at the time?
Bottom line, I messed up. Big time.
One of the trainers, Grim, approaches our group. I have to say, his name suits him because he’s perpetually in a bad mood. His face is set in its usual scowl as he addresses us. I think the guy could be good-looking if he relaxed a little and put that terrible attitude aside.
“Go get some lunch,” he growls at us, like we’ve done something wrong. “After that, any unbonded humans need to go pack your things. Your flight leaves this evening. Understood?”
Grim heads off to the next group of Tributes to deliver the same message. He doesn’t wait for a response.
Everyone starts making their way toward the little restaurant situated behind the bank of offices.
I can’t help but look over at the office buildings as we walk, wondering if Drake is in there somewhere. Is he dealing with the fallout of what happened? Is he angry with me?
I need to stop thinking about him. It’s not going to help anything.
“I still can’t believe you mind-bonded with Drake,” Jordyn says, and there’s something in her voice that’s lighter. “It’s…” She giggles. “It’s just that I can’t believe it…that’s all. You bonded with our Academy leader.” She widens her eyes.
“I didn’t mind-bond with Drake,” I correct her. “I bonded with his dragon.”
“Aren’t they one and the same?” she asks, tilting her head.
“Not really.” I shake my head, thinking about the difference between the brooding, controlled man and the fierce, protective beast. “His dragon is nicer.”
“Nicer?” Jordyn chokes out a laugh, the first genuine sound of amusement I’ve heard from her since we got back. “He almost killed that other dragon. The one that bonded with Georgia. He’s not nice at all.”
Despite everything, I find myself giggling along with her. It feels good to laugh, even if it’s tinged with hysteria.
“Do you know who the dragon is?” Jordyn asks, her curiosity getting the better of her mood. “The dragon Drake hurt? Georgia’s dragon?”
“Don’t call him that. If Georgia hears you, she’ll lose it.”
“He is her mind-bonded dragon, though. Whoever he is.”
“It might not even have been a ‘he’. Maybe the dragon is a ‘she’,” I say.
“True.” Jordyn nods. “So, you have no idea who it is?”
I shake my head. “The majority of the dragons on that field were shifters we hadn’t met.” I shrug. “I doubt we even know them.”
“Probably,” she agrees. Then her expression grows more serious again. “I’m sorry you have to stay. I know you have so much to get home to.”
I nod. I don’t feel the longing I used to when I think about going home, but neither do I want to stay on this island.
I’m confused right now, and I don’t know why.
I hold on to the idea that things will fall back into place once I am home, where I belong.
If only that were possible. But then another thought occurs to me, one that offers a small glimmer of hope.
“I might still get to leave,” I tell Jordyn. “I doubt they’ll use Drake to fight on the front lines. He’s far too important for that, being the Academy leader and all.”
And a Council member, though I don’t mention that part since Drake hasn’t announced it, and, therefore, I’m not supposed to know. Having said that, I don’t think it’s specifically a secret.
“You might be right,” Jordyn says. “I hope it works out.”
“Otherwise, I’ll have to stay a bit longer.” I roll my eyes. “Just until I prove I’m not cut out to be a rider. Let’s face it, I’m too clumsy.”
This gets another laugh out of Jordyn, though it’s watery around the edges.
“Yep, you’ll end up falling off his back sooner rather than later. Your dragon will be so busy saving your ass, you won’t be able to fight Red Dragons.”
We both laugh at that image – me tumbling through the sky while Drake frantically tries to catch me mid-flight. It’s probably not far from the truth.
“How would it even work?” she asks. “I thought Drake was already bonded to a human. She was riding him earlier.”
“I have no idea,” I lie, feeling bad about it. Then again, I don’t know how it will work. Only that it probably won’t, since his “primary rider” hates my guts. “I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.” I feel sick at the prospect of facing Drake.
We both turn ultra serious. Jordyn’s eyes start to fill with tears, and she blinks a few times to keep them at bay.
A lump lodges itself in my throat. In a few hours, Jordyn will be gone.
My best friend since arriving on this island, the person who’s kept me sane through months of training and fear and uncertainty, will be flying back to the Mainland while I stay here.
My eyes start to burn.
“Jordyn,” I start, my voice thick.
“I know,” she says quickly, blinking again like a mad thing. “I know,” she whispers again, sniffing.
“Thank you,” I manage to get out. “For everything. For being such an amazing friend. For believing in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. For making this whole nightmare bearable.”
“You don’t need to thank me,” she says, reaching over to squeeze my hand. “You did the same for me. You kept me grounded when I was spiraling about my parents, about not having anything to go back to. You reminded me that I do have a life worth living. Maybe now I’ll actually believe it.”
We stop walking, standing there in the middle of the path while other Tributes stream around us toward the restaurant.
“You do need to believe it because it’s true. Promise me you’ll be happy,” I say. “Promise me you’ll go home and live the most amazing life. Become the best chef ever. Find someone who deserves you. Travel the world.”
“Only if you promise me you’ll be careful,” she counters, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. “Don’t take any unnecessary risks. Don’t try to be a hero. Just survive whatever comes next and find a way home to your Miles.”
The mention of Miles should spark excitement, but it doesn’t come. All I feel is hollow. It’s been too much…all too damned much. I can’t feel anything.
I nod anyway. “I promise.”
We hug then, right there in the middle of the pathway, holding each other tight, as if we can somehow make this goodbye less final. But we both know the truth: there’s a very real possibility we’ll never see each other again.
When we finally break apart, we’re both crying…or trying not to and failing dismally.
“This isn’t goodbye,” Jordyn says firmly, wiping her eyes. “This is just…see you later, because we are going to stay in touch.”
“Absolutely,” I tell her. “I just need to find a way to not die.”
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about; your dragon will keep you safe.”
“He’s not my dragon.” I think of Drake’s face and feel something stir inside me.
Jordyn laughs. “Of course he is.”