Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Jasper, Age Fifteen
Istand near the edge of the bonfire with a red plastic cup in one hand, trying my hardest not to look directly across the flames.
Unfortunately, my eyes have other ideas because I can’t not look at him.
Chesney Jennings. When we’re in the same vicinity, it feels like his body calls to mine.
That sounds so ridiculous, but I don’t know how else to describe it.
There’s some sort of magnetic field between us, making it impossible to ignore him.
Not that I want to, but a party in a field with all our classmates isn’t really the ideal place for he and I to talk or hang out.
This party is actually the last place I want to be tonight.
Well, besides my house. If it wasn’t for the tense, uncomfortable situation going on there and the fact that I knew Chesney planned to be here, I would’ve ditched it altogether.
It’s not really my scene, but given it’s freshmen year, I might as well give it a shot.
That, and I get to be around Chesney, even if it’s not in the way I’d like.
He’s currently leaning against a tree with a group of guys from school, laughing at whatever one of them is saying. The glow from the fire catches in his light-brown hair, and his ocean blues twinkle as he flashes a smile that’s beautiful enough to make even the strongest person’s knees weak.
“Earth to Jasper.” Magnolia waves her hand in front of my face, and I realize I’ve been so zoned out that I haven’t been paying attention to anyone around me.
“Sorry. What?”
Magnolia sighs dramatically. “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”
“Probably not,” I say honestly, with a wince.
She follows where my line of sight just was and smirks when she spots Chesney.
Shit.
“What are you smiling about?” I ask obtusely, hoping to sound casual.
“Oh, nothing.” Magnolia’s grin widens.
“It’s definitely something.”
She shakes her head, then brings her cup to her mouth. “Nope.”
I narrow my eyes, but she keeps smiling. Thankfully, somebody distracts her a moment later before she has a chance to pry or make any kind of insinuations that I can tell were coming.
Unable to help it, my gaze drifts across the fire again. Toward Chesney. My hear thumps when I find him already watching me, something settling low in my stomach that I don’t understand. The moment only lasts for a few seconds before somebody says something to him and he looks away.
I shift my attention back to my friends, making more of an effort to hang out with them while the party continues.
In the back of my mind, though, I can’t stop thinking about one tiny, little fact…
Chesney was looking at me too. And the internal flutters and racing pulse that come from that stay with me for the next hour, through conversations, and music, and laughter. It stays with me through everything.
Every few minutes, like clockwork, our eyes find each other again like it’s something neither of us can stop.
I like the way it makes me feel, even though I don’t understand it.
I’ve fully admitted to myself that I have a crush on him, but beyond that, I don’t know.
Chesney’s my friend—my best friend—and having a crush on a person who considers you their friend seems foolish, but I can’t help it.
I don’t think he feels the same. I’m pretty sure I would’ve picked up on that already if he did.
It bums me out, but at the same time, I don’t need him to feel the same way.
I’m okay remaining just friends, if that’s how things are supposed to go.
Besides, it’s not like this could go anywhere, even if we wanted it to. Our families would flip out.
Eventually, Chesney disappears from around the fire. It’s embarrassing how quickly I notice. A few seconds later, my phone buzzes.
Chesney: Meet me at the clearing.
My stomach does a cartwheel as I reread the message.
The clearing is about five minutes away. Far enough from the party that nobody will bother going there, but close enough to sneak away unnoticed.
Me: Be there in five.
He responds before I’ve even made it away from the fire.
Chesney: Hurry up.
A dorky grin spreads along my face.
Me: Bossy.
Chesney: Slow.
I laugh, then pocket the phone and pick up the pace.
The farther I get from the party, the quieter everything becomes.
The music fades, and all the voices disappear, replaced by the sound of crickets.
When the trees finally break, the full moon and all the stars dancing across the sky illuminate the rest of the walk.
When I reach the clearing, I scan the area, not seeing Chesney at first. But then I find him, and my shoulders relax immediately.
He’s lying flat on his back in the grass, staring up at the sky, with his hands folded behind his head.
For a second, I can do nothing but stand here and watch him.
The moonlight softens everything, giving the world—and him—an innocent glow.
Chesney looks so…happy.
It doesn’t take him long to notice me, and when he does, he smiles. My chest flutters, that same confusing feeling that shows up whenever he’s around returning in full force.
“You’re late,” he murmurs.
I snort. “I am not.”
“Took you forever,” he teases as I drop onto the grass, his eyes tracking my every movement.
I lie beside him, close enough that if we wanted to, we could touch.
My pulse thrums in my neck as we hold each other’s gaze for a long, quiet moment before eventually looking up at the sky.
We don’t talk for a while, but the silence isn’t awkward.
It’s comfortable, and easy. But that’s how it always is with Chesney.
I think it’s one of my favorite parts about our friendship—the simplicity.
There’s never an urge to fill the quiet parts like there is with anybody else. It’s refreshing.
Eventually, Chesney sighs. “Think anybody noticed?”
I breathe out a small chuckle. “I highly doubt it.”
“Good.” He pauses before adding, “My dad would’ve had a heart attack. He’s been on one lately. I swear, more than normal.”
“Dude, mine too,” I say. “I hardly ever hear them talk about your family these days. But this week, it’s been so bad. My parents are even fighting with each other, and that never happens.”
“Fighting about what?”
“Hell if I know.” I chuckle. “They stop the second they know I’m around.
It’s mostly hushed arguments in their bedroom at night.
Although, they were screaming at each other when I got home from school yesterday.
I tried to be quiet so I could hear, but the stupid front door creaks when it closes.
I did hear my dad say your dad’s name, though, before the fight stopped. ”
“Mine?” Chesney’s eyes widen. “What the hell?”
“You know what we should do? Throw them in a room together and lock the door. Let them battle it out until they can figure out how to play nicely.”
“Gladiator style.” The grin in his voice makes me smile too.
Stars stretch endlessly above us, bright and clear, and out by the dozen tonight.
Living in such a small town, it’s usually easy to see them on any given night.
But out here, away from the streetlights and the rows of businesses and neighborhoods, you can see each and every one perfectly. It takes my breath away.
“What do you think they’d do?” Chesney asks after a moment. “If they found out.”
I glance over at him. He’s still looking at the sky, but I can tell he’s serious. The question is heavy and complicated as it settles between us because we both know what he means.
Our friendship.
The secret.
Exhaling slowly, I look up again. “They’d lose their minds.”
“Yeah. Chesney snorts. “My grandfather’s head might actually explode.”
“Mine too.”
We both laugh, but it quickly fades, leaving something more thoughtful behind.
“What if they didn’t?” Chesney asks, his voice barely above a whisper. This time, when I look over, he’s already looking at me. His blue eyes are steady in the moonlight, and the way he’s watching me makes my mouth dry. “What if they were okay with it?”
It’s a question I’ve thought about more than once. What it might be like not to hide our friendship. To not have to sneak around, and lie, and pretend.
“I don’t know.” A small smile curls my mouth as I shrug. “It’d be easier, that’s for sure.”
“Yeah.” His voice softens. “We could just…hang out.”
“What a revolutionary concept,” I tease, with a snort.
Chesney’s gaze is intense. It makes my heart beat faster. “I’m serious, Jasper.”
I swallow thickly. “Yeah, me too. Everything wouldn’t have to be some big secret.”
He laughs quietly. The sound settles warmly in my stomach, but it quickly spreads everywhere else.
This moment, this conversation, feels important.
Then, when Chesney repositions himself, his arm accidentally brushes against mine.
The touch is barely anything at all, but it sends a spark through my veins.
My pulse jumps and, suddenly, I’m very aware of everything.
The grass beneath us. The cool night air.
The warmth of his arm that he still hasn’t moved.
And the way he’s looking at me right now. Like he’s not seeing just a friend.
Something shifts between us. I can feel my heart beating in my throat and hear it in my ears, and judging by the expression on Chesney’s face, he’s having similar problems. It should scare me—the way I’m feeling, the way my best friend is looking at me—instead, it feels unbelievably and undoubtedly… right.
That’s the terrifying part.
“Hey, Jasper?” he says, his voice rough.
Goosebumps spread all over my body. “Yeah?”
Chesney doesn’t say anything. He simply holds my gaze as the world narrows around us.
The trees, the stars, the party in the distance…
Everything fades away until there’s only him.
My breath catches when he leans forward, so close I can smell the fresh scent of his shampoo wafting off his hair.
Then he pauses, watching me questioningly.
Like he’s giving me a chance to stop this.
I don’t.
This is happening.
Holy crap, I can’t believe this is happening!
My heart feels like it’s going to explode through my chest as he closes the distance.
Then, at the last second, I lean in too…
Big mistake. Our noses collide, then our foreheads, and before I know it, we’re laughing against each other’s mouths instead of kissing.
It’s awkward, and I kind of wish the ground would open up and swallow me whole.
But then we try again.
He leans forward, pressing his mouth to mine, and the world tilts just a little.
Chesney’s lips are soft and full, and everything inside of me heats at how good this feels.
My body relaxes as he takes the lead, keeping the kiss slow and gentle and better than I ever could’ve dreamed of.
When we finally pull apart, I don’t even try to hide the smile on my face, especially since he’s wearing a similar one.
Chesney kissed me.
My best friend kissed me.
Even though I can still feel it on my lips, it doesn’t seem real. My pulse beats out of control. I can’t think straight. And all I want is to do it over and over and over again.
“Wow,” Chesney breathes as he falls back onto the grass.
A laugh bubbles out of me. “Wow?”
The corner of his mouth twitches. “Shut up.”
“That was…” I pause, then quickly decide not to overthink it. “That was the first time I’ve ever done that.”
Chesney meets my gaze and smiles. “Me too.” Then he slips his hand into mine like it’s something we’ve done a million times before, and the world tilts a little more.
I’ll remember this night forever. This feeling.
Because even though nothing has changed with our families, and probably never will, this is too special of a moment to let reality get in the way.