Chapter 37
Kalyani woke to find herself looking across the pillow at Varum.
He slept peacefully, his breathing deep and even.
Her fingers itched to touch his face and smooth his hair from his forehead.
Her body was still pleasantly sated from the pleasure they had shared.
It was crazy to think that they had slept together when, just hours earlier, she hadn’t been sure if he was friend or foe.
Yet he was risking everything to get her home.
Much had been left unsaid the previous night, but there was no need to push him.
He had years of suffering that he was finally coming to terms with.
That would be difficult on its own. What was worse was that she was the cause of him leaving a city he was clearly devoted to.
If there were a way for her to escape on her own, she would do it.
Rohan had always called her reckless, but even she knew her limits.
She had been happy for Varum to shoulder the blame for bringing her to Tarangarh before, but now, knowing what she did, that seemed like such a trivial point. She couldn’t identify when things had changed for her—or even why—but they had.
Her gaze roamed from his face to his bare chest. She rested her hand atop his arm that lay between them. The sight of her tan skin against the bluish-green of his reminded her of their many differences. Yet it wasn’t the differences she saw. It was the similarities.
That arm didn’t belong to a Sea Elf. It belonged to someone who had held her, kissed her. Pleasured her. A male whose passionate touch had made her melt. Whose desire had enflamed hers. She had felt cherished and worshipped in his arms.
There would never be another who could touch her like that.
Emotion surged within her. Unable to help herself, she softly laid a hand on his cheek.
The last thing she should do is allow her feelings to become entangled with him, but it seemed that was out of her hands now.
For so long, she had dreamed of encountering a Sea Elf.
Varum had given her her dream and so much more.
She had gotten to live in their city, taste their food, have conversations, and hear their song. How many other humans could boast such a thing? Her life had been mostly dull, except for when she was in the water. Her time with Varum would make everything else pale in comparison.
How could she go back to her old life? How could she ever swim in the ocean again and not search for him? How could she ever think about anyone but him? Already, her heart ached for what she longed for—what could never be.
She smoothed her thumb across his cheekbone, marveling that he had chosen her. His eyes slowly opened and met hers. He smiled softly and covered her hand with his. Then he brought her palm to his mouth and pressed a kiss to it before tucking it against his chest over his heart.
“I was afraid to wake. I thought it might’ve all been a dream,” he said.
She found herself grinning, swept up in the pleasant aura that enveloped them. “It wasn’t a dream.”
“This complicates things.”
“Maybe, but I don’t care.”
He tightened his fingers over her hand. “Me, neither. Though I should.”
“What if I stayed?”
He gently moved a curl away from her cheek. “I thought about that as I held you while you slept. As tempting as that is—and it is tempting—I won’t do that to you.”
“It would be my choice.”
“You’ve barely been able to stand being locked in here without seeing the sky for a couple of days.”
She turned her hand, so their fingers were linked. “I’d get through it.”
“You wouldn’t, and we both know that.”
Kalyani sighed as the truth of their situation settled around her. “It isn’t fair that I should find you, only to have to say goodbye.”
“I know.”
“I want to stay, but if I remain, you’d continually be worried about me being discovered. Nor could I handle the thought of you getting hurt.” She managed a half-smile. “That means we need to make the most of the time we have together.”
He nodded as he inhaled. “What should we do, then?”
“I’d like to stay right here forever.”
“Then we stay in bed.”
“What about work? I thought you needed to keep up appearances.”
Varum twisted his lips. “Right. I suppose I should, but there’s still time before I have to leave.”
“How can you tell?”
“I just know.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let his finger linger against the skin there. “Will you finally tell me?”
She frowned at him. “Tell you what?”
“Your secret.”
“My secret?” she repeated as fear cut through her like a blade. “What do you mean?”
He sighed as his expression fell. “Never mind. I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“Wait,” she said as she clenched his hand. “It isn’t that I don’t want to tell you, it’s just that I’ve never actually said the words aloud.”
“You can trust me. No matter what, I will protect you.”
Kalyani glanced down, trying to find some courage. It should be easy to tell him. He was a Sea Elf, after all. She licked her lips and tried to swallow, but her mouth was dry. All she had to do was say a few words. It wasn’t that big of a deal. She couldn’t understand why she was so scared.
“I’ve kept it a secret from everyone because it made me different. My parents, and then Rohan, were always so worried about me that I didn’t want to make things worse. I thought I could pretend that I was like everyone else.”
Varum rubbed his thumb across her hand, silently encouraging her to continue.
She finally managed to swallow. “I think something calls me out into the water.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning. “You said you felt a pull toward it.”
“It’s more than that. It’s almost as if I wasn’t meant to be on land.”
His frown deepened. “I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I.” She looked away, pulling up those memories.
“The first time I heard it was when I had just begun to walk. I remember the sound clearly. It wasn’t quite a song or the wind, but something altogether different.
I knew it was the water, and I raced toward it.
Rohan thinks I didn’t get into the sea, but I did.
The moment I dove under the water, I felt a connection to something.
Dad swam after me and managed to catch me.
I fought him, screaming to keep swimming as he hauled me back to shore.
He always believed I would die if I went too far from shore, but I knew that I’d find something else. ”
“What?”
Her gaze slid back to Varum. “I don’t know. I heard the sound a lot when I was younger, but it came less and less as I got older, until it stopped altogether a few years ago. I saw how desperate my family was to keep me with them, and I grew scared of going out too far and leaving them behind.”
“You never told them?”
“I couldn’t. I tried telling Rohan a couple of times, but I could never get the words out.”
Varum lightly tapped the skin behind her ear. “What about this?”
She reached back and felt the area. “What about it?”
His brows drew together. “You really don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?” When he hesitated, she grabbed his wrist. “Tell me. Please.”
“How do you stay under for so long?”
She found his question odd since he had asked her that before. “I told you. I can hold my breath for a long time.”
“You don’t hold your breath.”
“I do.”
He briefly closed his eyes, a look of sadness softening his features. “You might start off that way, but your body changes.”
“Changes?” He was beginning to scare her now. “I think I’d know if my body changed.”
“Not if you weren’t aware or couldn’t see it.”
She started to pull away, but he held her in place.
“I thought you hadn’t told me because you didn’t trust me,” he said. “Now, I believe you don’t know.”
“Know what?” The words came out as a strangled whisper.
Varum’s hand moved to her cheek. “I know your body changes because I witnessed it myself. It was one of the reasons I brought you to Tarangarh. The place I touched behind your ear? It changes into gills like the Sea Elves have.”
Kalyani jerked back as she sat up and felt behind both ears, but there was nothing but smooth skin.
“There’s nothing for you to feel now,” Varum said as he pushed himself upright. “They vanished once I brought you out of the water.”
That couldn’t be right. She would know if something like that happened, wouldn’t she? She shook her head. “I hold my breath. I know I hold my breath. That’s all.”
“Of course,” Varum said as he tenderly grasped her wrists and lowered her arms so he could hold both her hands in his. “I must have been mistaken.”
He was lying. She couldn’t call him out on it because that would mean she had to face what he claimed, and she couldn’t.
If she did, she would have to admit that she was as different from her family as she had always suspected.
But she wasn’t a Sea Elf either. What was she if she wasn’t human or an elf?
Varum cupped her face, forcing her to look in his eyes. “Let’s forget I said anything.”
She nodded and let him enfold her in his embrace. Kalyani wound her arms around his neck. She needed to change the subject and quickly, lest her thoughts remain on the topic. She sat back and grinned. “I’m starving.”
“Ah,” he said as he climbed out of bed and reached for her, setting her on her feet beside him. “I did wear you out last night.”
“Exactly. I need to refuel,” she said and flashed him a smile.
He took her hand and led her into the kitchen before nudging her to the table. “Sit. I’ll make us something.”
Kalyani sat in the chair and gave his nude body an appreciative look. “Are you working a full day?”
“I’ll go in for a short time and make it look like I’m working. There are a couple of other maps I’d like to look at to double-check my calculations.”
“You aren’t worried about getting caught?”
He glanced at her over his shoulder. “I look at maps all the time, so nothing will seem out of the ordinary. I’ll stop at Nirav’s when I leave there.” Varum suddenly froze and looked at her. “I forgot. Nirav will spend the day with you.”
“I’ll be fine. I promise.”
“I’d rather he be with you. Just in case.”
Kalyani stood and walked to press her naked body to his back. “Too much needs to be done. I can handle a couple of more days on my own. Besides, you talked to Tanira, so she won’t be back. I don’t have anything to worry about.”
“I don’t know,” he hedged.
“I would tell you if I were uncomfortable alone.”
He sighed and patted the arm she had around him. “The trip to Nirav’s will be quick.”
“Is there anything here you’d like me to pack up for you?”
“For what?”
She leaned to the side to look at him. “To bring with you. There must be something from your home you’d like to take to your new one.”
He looked around his home for a long minute before shaking his head. “I plan on leaving everything.”
Kalyani had worried that he was leaving because of her, but maybe she had been wrong. Maybe he really was finally breaking free of the city to start anew. It wouldn’t be with her, but she hoped he found somewhere to live a long, happy life.