Chapter 48 Beau
BEAU
Everything about this is wrong. Mel smiles at me and I look away. Sitting here in the OB-GYN’s office with my co-worker instead of my girlfriend is fucking me up.
I look at all the hopeful moms in here, and I know deep in my bones that’s how I’m supposed to feel. Hopeful. Happy. Excited.
Instead, there’s a pit of dread in my gut.
Honey won’t return my texts. I’m not sure she’s even read them. I don’t blame her. I’m surprised Trig hasn’t shown up on my doorstep with a shotgun. I’ve been waiting for him to drop by and kick my ass. Hell, I’d let him.
One thing is clear. If Mel is pregnant with my baby, I’m pretty sure that means things are over with Honey.
I don’t know how to handle that. I feel like I’m a walking, talking corpse. Like my reason to breathe has been stripped away.
The nurse calls out Mel’s name, and we head to the back.
“Melissa, I need to weigh you first.” She points to a scale, and Mel’s face goes red.
I face the other way to give her privacy. Like I give a shit what she weighs.
We’re eventually ushered into a room. When she changes into a gown, she bats her eyelashes at me. “You’ve already seen this, so you don’t have to hide.”
“Watching you strip would be rude to my girlfriend, so no thanks.” I turn away again and come face first with a poster of a baby being pushed out of the birth canal.
“You mean your ex, right? I heard y’all had broken up. Sorry about that.”
“You sound really upset about it,” I say dryly.
This can’t be the end. The mantra echoes in my mind.
That sliver of hope is the reason I look away when Mel changes. Because on the off chance this isn’t my kid, I’m sure Honey wouldn’t be pleased to find out I saw Mel half-dressed.
Behind me, paper rustles, and she sighs. “I’m all covered up now, so you don’t have to worry about seeing me naked.”
Wearing a paper robe, she’s perched at the end of a table with weird arms sticking out of the side. “What are these for?” I tap on one, and she laughs.
“They’re stirrups for my feet. So when the doctor looks up my hoo-ha, I’m all spreadeagle.”
No wonder Honey flipped out about me being in the birth room. This is really private stuff. Of course it is. I don’t know what I was thinking.
When the doctor enters, she introduces herself to us both. “Hi. I’m Dr. Green.” After shaking Mel’s hand, she turns to me. “You must be Daddy.”
I’m gonna fucking hurl. “I don’t know if I’m the father. That’s why we’re here today.”
Mel’s eyes narrow. “What the hell, Beau? I told you when my conception date was. You still don’t believe me?”
“And you said we could do a paternity test to confirm this, so let’s confirm.
” Because I know for a fact I wasn’t the only guy she was sleeping with, and I’d be a dumbass to just take her word for it.
Even if she’s well intentioned, she could be wrong.
I turn to the doctor, who’s studiously reviewing her notes.
“We’d like to do one of those non-invasive tests, and I want to expedite the results. ”
Dr. Green nods. “That’s not a problem, but you should know they’re expensive because they’re not covered by insurance.”
“I understand.”
She flips through the chart. “Mom, we’re going to need a blood test, and Dad… I’m sorry, Beau, we’ll have you do a cheek swab. But first, I need to do a quick exam.” She looks at Mel. “You haven’t been seen by my office yet, correct?”
“No. I thought I had food poisoning and went to the ER.”
“And they gave you the conception date?”
Melissa nods and glances at me.
She looks so small and scared on that table, I start to feel bad for being such an asshole. “It’ll be okay, Mel. We’ll figure this out.”
She gives me a faint smile. “Tha-thanks. I just need you to be nice.”
“Sorry.” I go stand by her and squeeze her shoulder. “I can do that.”
The doctor motions to me. “Beau, if you stand up by her shoulders during her exam, that would probably be the most comfortable spot for you. Especially if you don’t want to see anything.”
She’s barely done talking before I move so far back, I’m leaning against the wall. Totally good here.
After she gets Melissa situated in those damn stirrups, the doctor does a breast exam and then sits between Mel’s spread legs to inspect her vagina.
I’m pretty sure that sends me on an out-of-body experience.
In my head, I’m checking on cattle and re-shoeing horses and feeding sheep.
I’d do anything to not be here, standing next to my former friend with benefits while she gets her lady parts examined.
Afterward, the ultrasound tech joins us, squirts gel on Mel’s stomach, and scans it with a wand. We hear the baby’s heartbeat and the doctor takes measurements. Yes, the conception date is likely the weekend we were last together.
Fuck. This doesn’t look good. I’d hoped the doctor would give me some indication that maybe the original conception date was off.
I stand like a tree, rooted to the ground, wondering how my life got this off track.
Dr. Green smiles. “Your baby looks strong.”
Nodding, I feign interest. Not that I want anything to go wrong. We’re talking about two lives. As annoying as Mel has been, I don’t want anything to happen to her or her child.
I press my palms into my eyes. Part of me feels like a royal dick for not being jazzed about hearing my kid’s heartbeat. If this is really my child, I’m gonna have to get on board.
I’m not there yet. Frankly, I’m worried how I’m supposed to do this.
Because without Honey by my side, I’m not sure I want to have a family.