Chapter 2
My toes wouldn’t move anymore, though I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or the toxic smoke I’d inhaled for weeks.
Snow piled up in the corners of my bedroom window, and the glass was starting to crack along the edges from the pressure. My fingers had grown progressively numb throughout the last few weeks, and my fingernails were already black and dead, but I could still coax them into moving if I was patient.
Using my full weight, I pulled on the heavy satin curtains, ripping them free from the rod with a ripple of the heavy fabric. The room instantly felt colder without the curtains insulating the window, but I knew the fabric had better uses than blocking out a sun that never shined anymore.
I bundled up the curtains in my arms, slipping into the frosty palace halls with quiet steps.
My legs moved slowly, struggling to hold up my weight as my muscles slowly succumbed to paralysis.
Based on what we’d seen from the other victims of blackwood poisoning, I still had a few weeks left before…
No, don’t think about that. There’s still time for me to help the citizens.
My thick wool cloak might as well have been made of paper once I slipped out of the castle walls.
The icy wind cut straight through everything, making it dangerous to spend more than a few hours outside.
Holding the curtains against my chest helped trap some of the heat in my core, giving me the strength to carry on despite my troublesome limbs.
My heart ached as I walked past the massive stacks of confiscated wood that were locked inside the palace gates. The brutal cold tempted me to snag a log and light it despite knowing the consequences.
I was already poisoned, what more damage could it really do to me?
The thought of a large, warm fire was enticing, but I knew lighting even one log would be dangerous for anyone else who caught a whiff of its smoke.
Blackwood trees had never been chosen for lumber due to their heavy sap content, but as the winter worsened, so did the people’s desperation.
The trees were plentiful, but only after a few weeks of burning them did we discover that their sap emitted a toxic smoke when burned.
The effects of the poisoning were slow and painful, and there was not yet a known cure.
I trudged through the snowy streets, passing by all the abandoned homes that were too big to keep warm.
The nobility were the first ones to evacuate.
Their manors were too costly to keep heated with rationed firewood, so most of them had migrated to one of the shared shelters or moved into smaller cottages for the time being.
I passed by one of the shelters, peering into the window to see how everyone was faring inside.
Children were snuggled up in a pile under a thick wool blanket by the wall, and all the women seemed to be chatting over a pot of soup they were simmering.
The men were nailing panels over the windows, likely to add further insulation as the temperature continued to drop.
The conditions were still livable for now, but it was terribly cramped with people taking up nearly every inch of floor space.
They can’t stay like this forever.
I peered into a different corner, my fingers twitching when I saw the group of infected individuals against the far wall.
They were covered in blankets, with some of the older children sitting beside them to offer company.
An older man’s hand poked out from the top of the blanket, his fingertips as black as if he’d dipped them in tar.
Their legs looked completely lifeless, their limp limbs covered in blankets as if to keep the painful reminder that they were through walking out of their sight.
The curtains felt heavier in my arms after that, but I didn’t let my thoughts linger on the horrors that awaited them or me. There was still hope of finding a cure, or at the very least, stopping this winter so everyone else could be spared a similar fate.
At least, I hoped so.
Finally, I reached the cottages I was hoping to find.
There weren’t many civilians left who resided in their own homes, but I knew the ones that did likely had their reasons why they couldn’t leave.
Some couldn’t find space in the shelters and others were already suffering from paralysis.
The castle guards had done well at checking in with the shelters, but I couldn’t stop thinking about those who were just out of reach.
I knocked on the first cottage with a light glowing from inside, and after a few seconds of waiting, an old woman cracked the door open.
“Goodness, what are you doing out there?” The woman gasped, then immediately snatched my arm to drag me inside. “Come in, quick, or you’ll turn into a snow globe ornament.”
“Thank you, madam,” I said, forcing the chatter in my teeth to settle as I let the cottage’s warmth envelop me. A small fire crackled in the one-room home, and two young children were curled up on the rug still snoozing the morning away.
“They were up all night looking for the northern lights,” the old woman chuckled. “Of course they didn’t find any, but who am I to squash their joy in a time like this? Anyway, what brings you here, my dear? Did the shelters not have room for you either?”
“No, I’m quite all right,” I said, my heart tensing as I imagined this family being turned away from the shelters. “I’ve actually come to pass out blankets. Do you or the children need any?”
“Oh my, you came all this way just to offer us blankets?” The woman pressed a hand to her lips, her eyes misty as she looked at the bundle of fabric in my arms. “Don’t you need them?”
In truth, my bed would be much colder tonight. I looked over at the sleeping children who were likely dreaming of dancing lights. But I’d rather my bed be cold than theirs. There’s no telling how much longer I’ll feel the cold anyway.
“Not at all. This is just some extra fabric that I wanted to put to good use,” I said, stretching the fabric out to her until she had no choice but to take it. “Please, take it. Also, do you know which other homes are still occupied? I’d like to bring them some supplies as well if I can find them.”
The woman squeezed the curtains against her chest, like she feared her heart might pound out of her if she didn’t compress it.
“Yes, I’m afraid there are three other cottages near the edge of the forest that have families in them.
Like us, they didn’t look into joining a shelter until they were already full. ”
Three more. Got it.
“Thank you very much,” I said, tugging my hood back over my head. “I’ll see what I can do. Please take care.”
“Wait just a moment.” The woman set the curtains down, then moved over to a tiny chest of drawers in the corner of the room. I waited patiently as she dug through the contents, perfectly happy to soak in as much warmth as I could before stepping back out into the cold. “Here it is!”
She pulled out a tiny wooden box, just big enough to fit in her palm.
Is that…?
“Please, take these as a small token of our gratitude.” She placed the box in my hand, and I couldn't help but look at her as if she'd just handed me a bag of gold.
“Matches?” I gasped. “I couldn't possibly take these. They're too valuable.”
Oil, matches, wood, and any other fire starter was worth more than money could buy nowadays. If she wanted to, she could probably even trade this box for a spot in a shelter.
“I insist.” She curled my fingers around the box, brushing her thumb over my dead fingernails. “I feel that you'll make better use of them than we will, Your Highness.”
She knew who I was—was that why she was gifting me so generously?
“I'm hardly a princess now, just a fellow person trying to stay warm,” I said.
“Then please accept my gift so that you might keep that warmth, dear.” She smiled softly, making it even harder to refuse her. “It's needed now more than ever.”
I looked down at the box and slid the lid open enough to take a peek. There were three whole matches inside. I could pass each one out to the remaining families that needed assistance or save them in case fire starters became scarcer for the citizens.
“Thank you,” I said, pushing the box closed with my numb hand. “I promise I'll put them to good use.”
“That's all I ask,” the woman said, offering me one final smile before I slipped back out into the blizzard.
The wind had picked up since I'd been inside, and without the bundle of curtains to hold, I was feeling the chill seep deeper into my bones.
The castle was maybe a ten-minute walk from the cottage, but my stiff legs made everything slower. I knew it was dangerous to be out here like this, but I couldn't help but feel that I was partially to blame for this frozen disaster.
The storm began the day I arrived, taking over the roads and villages with such surprising force that there was no time to prepare.
Every effort had been made to protect the citizens and wait out the winter, but it only continued to grow worse.
The wedding had obviously been postponed, but there wasn't a single day that Blamore wasn't doing everything in his power to hunt down the winter’s source.
Him…
I wasn't sure if I was going in the right direction anymore. The wind made it hard to keep my head up, and the snow was too dense to see the castle. I continued forward, hoping to come across something soon before my ankles stopped obeying me. I couldn't die yet; I still had matches to hand out…
A loud whinny cut through the wind, and I whipped my head in that direction just in time to see a royal horse trot its way through the fresh powder.
“Safara!” Blamore immediately spotted me, jumping off the horse's back to pull me into his toasty embrace. “The guards told me they saw you sneak out. Heavens, you're freezing! What are you doing all the way out here?”
He took my hands in his, pressing them between his gloved palms to try and press some of his warmth into me.
“I-I was handing out blankets,” I explained, unable to meet his disapproving eyes.
“So that's what you did with your curtains?” he sighed, moving his hands away to pull my hood more snugly around my neck. “The maids told me. Safara, I know you want to help, but this is far too dangerous. Especially in your current condition.”
His voice tightened as he glanced down at my blackened fingertips, neither one of us willing to discuss the topic further until it was too late to ignore.
“I'm sorry,” I said. “I know it's foolish, but I didn't need the curtains, and there are still people who can't get into the shelters—”
“Not everything is meant to be shared, Safara,” Blamore said, ushering me toward his horse. “You may not think you needed those curtains, but that doesn't mean someone else in the castle didn't.”
He grabbed me by the waist, hoisting me up onto the horse with one swift movement. He had been one of the lucky ones who was immune to blackwood poisoning. I was thankful that the kingdom would still have a healthy ruler when the poison finally claimed me.
“I'm sorry,” I repeated, feeling the matchbox shift in my pocket as I settled on the horse. “I shouldn't have been so reckless.”
Blamore climbed up behind me, his warm breath tickling my neck as he let out another sigh.
“I'm sorry, too,” he said in a much softer tone as he flicked the reins. “I know you mean well. I'm just under a lot of stress right now, and losing you isn't something that I'm ready to handle.”
His arms went rigid, and I could sense the grim tension between us.
“My people are freezing,” he said in a gravelly voice that was almost lost to the wind. “Supplies are running low, and I'm failing to keep my promise to you.”
“I’ll protect you.”
I reached for his hand, giving it a painful squeeze that seemed to help him relax.
We passed through the castle gates in a matter of minutes, the horse making quick work of the treacherous walk that I had planned to attempt.
Blamore helped me off the horse. His arms lingered around my waist as we stood out in the cold, his attentive gaze already making my blood run warmer.
“I know this is a lot to handle, which is why I want to help,” I told him. “Please, just tell me what you need me, as your future queen, to do.”
He guided me inside, shutting the door behind us so the sound of the wind was finally muffled. He brushed the snow from his shoulders, his face looking older somehow as the winter continued to steal time from us.
“Stay inside,” he said firmly. “That's all I need you to do. I can't hunt down the monster who's causing all this if I'm too worried about you.”
My heart sank next to the matches in my pocket. How was I supposed to help anyone if I couldn't leave?
“Please.” Blamore cupped my cheek, snowflakes still clinging to his gloves as they melted against my skin. “For both of our kingdoms' sake.”
I didn't like it, but then again, I always knew this kingdom would be cold.
“If that's what you wish,” I said reluctantly. “Just promise me you'll end this winter.”
“I won't stop until I've made you safe.”