Chapter 5
Death was warm, but also… soft?
Something plush cradled my head, and I felt a silky texture brush along my arms and legs. My eyes fluttered open, and everything was blurry for a moment before the soft glow of a fireplace came into view.
Is...is that real?
I shifted to get a better look, startled by the heavy silk duvet that was weighing down my body. It took me a moment to realize that the plush item under my head was a pillow, and that I was lying comfortably in a familiar four-post bed that was fit for a princess.
This is my room in Averglas.
I recognized the blue satin curtains that framed the window.
They were the same ones I had torn down a month ago to pass out to the villagers.
My head spun as I studied the room further, seeing that everything looked exactly as it had when I’d first arrived.
I tried to sit up in bed, bracing myself to support my weakened body, but when I tried to rise, I met zero resistance.
A small gasp left my lips, my heart nearly stopping for the second time as I looked down at my hands. My clean, unblemished, uninfected hands...
They moved so easily. I could point, I could grasp the covers, and most amazingly of all, I could feel the soft silk brushing against them. It was a miracle, but none of it made any sense. Had I not died? Was it all some terrible nightmare?
Or was it a wish come true…?
A sudden knock echoed on my door, nearly causing me to jump out of the bed with my healthy legs. I cleared my throat, impressed that my tongue felt as comfortable as it did in my mouth.
“Come in,” I said easily, curling my toes eagerly as I waited to see who would step inside.
I shouldn’t have been as shocked as I was when my former servant Gerda walked into the room, but it had been weeks since I’d last seen her crinkly eyes and rosy cheeks. She and the rest of the elderly citizens had been sent away with the first wave of evacuations.
But she’s smiling like she never left.
“Good morning, Your Highness,” she said just as sweetly as the day she first welcomed me into the castle. “I hope you stayed warm last night. I brought some more firewood to keep the heat going.”
She wheeled in a cart with a breakfast tray on top and a bundle of logs on the bottom. Just seeing the food made my eyes tear up with joy, and I hardly waited for her to put the tray in front of me before I started stuffing biscuits and sausage patties into my mouth.
“Hungry this morning, are we?” Gerda chuckled, reaching down to grab the firewood from the bottom of the cart.
Strangely, I wasn’t that hungry. My stomach accepted the meal but didn’t crave much more than a few bites and a swig of hot tea. In fact, I hardly had any hunger pains at all when I rose from bed.
Gerda hoisted up the logs, the dark tree bark leaving black flecks on her cotton sleeves that looked like ash. It only took me a second to recognize the wood, my breath catching as I looked back at the thick smoke escaping up my fireplace.
“Don’t burn that!” I jumped out of bed, running in front of the fire before she could add any more poison into it.
I must have nearly given poor Gerda a heart attack, because my sudden shouting caused her to drop the bundle of wood and send it rolling across the floor. The black bark flaked off onto the carpet, infesting the rug like a pack of fleas.
“Goodness, why? What’s wrong with it?” Gerda gasped, pressing a hand to her pounding heart.
“It’s blackwood. It’s been outlawed for months now!
Surely you know how dangerous it can be.
” I grabbed a water pitcher from my bedside to douse the fireplace.
It felt so wasteful to put out such valuable flames, but their danger far exceeded their worth.
I pulled the collar of my nightdress up over my nose as I put out the fire.
Gerda followed my lead and covered her nose and mouth too, but her eyes were still narrowed on the tainted wood.
“Outlawed?” Gerda blinked. “I hadn’t heard. I’m terribly sorry for any danger I put you in, Princess. I simply didn’t know!”
“It’s all right, just try not to breathe the smoke or—” I paused, my thoughts catching up to me as I pieced together the phenomenon that was my very life. “Gerda...is there a winter storm still going on?”
“Why, of course.” Gerda scrunched her brows, looking more worried about me by the second as she glanced back at the smoky fireplace. “It’s been storming for over a month now thanks to that terrifying snow king. Do you not remember?”
Only a month?
“G-Gerda.” I could barely breathe, my fingertips growing hot like I was still pinching the match between them. “What is today’s date?”
“The twenty-eighth of December, Your Highness,” Gerda shifted forward, gently reaching out to press the back of her hand to my forehead. “Are you feeling well? Perhaps I should tell the physician about this wood you’re so concerned about.
December twenty-eighth… that was five months ago.
I could hardly believe what I was hearing. By some magic, I had been transported through time itself. Back before my illness took root, back before the winter had become impossible to survive, back before blackwood had been discovered to be lethal.
I wished to become a better queen.
“Yes! Tell him immediately!” I said, gently urging her out the door. “There’s no time to lose. Tell him that the sap is extremely dangerous when boiled and that it needs to be banned from homes immediately!”
“But I thought you said it was already outlawed?” Poor Gerda questioned as I shoved her out the door before any more of the smoke could cling to her breath.
“I was mistaken, but action needs to be taken quickly before someone gets sick,” I said, the panic in my voice seeming to get through to her. “Please, hurry. And never burn any blackwood again, do you understand?”
“Y-yes, princess!” Gerda nodded, then hiked up her skirt to take off running down the castle halls. Those old legs sure moved quickly, and I took solace in knowing that I was able to get ahead of at least one tragedy before it spiraled.
I paused in my doorway, catching my breath for a moment before shutting the door to take a second alone inside my room.
I pressed a hand to my mouth, afraid to even breathe too heavily in case it would wake me up from a dream.
Except none of this was a dream... I could feel everything, taste my breakfast, and even remember this exact day when Gerda had first brought me Averglas sausage to try for breakfast. This was all real.
“I-I get a second chance?” I whispered hopefully into my palm, a thin fog of smoke still wisping through the room.
It felt impossible, it was impossible. I had died by my betrothed’s abandonment, yet here I was back to living blissfully in his kingdom.
I looked up at the snowy window, the royal courtyard barely even filled with the white powder so far. “I can be a better queen.”
In five months, this entire land would be buried in snow and tragedy, and based on Gerda’s reaction, I was the only one who knew the extent of what was to come.
My fingers twitched, feeling a phantom match in my grasp as I thought back to that fateful strike of a flame.
This was my chance to save Averglas, to stop Blamore from failing his kingdom and me along with it.
Blamore...
His name burned into my heart, his betrayal still fresh. Who was to say he wouldn’t betray me again in this timeline? Or lie about loving me again?
I glanced down at the ring he’d placed on my finger, feeling like it was more of a shackle now than anything else. It was a promise to become his queen, something that I had died to have another chance to become.
No… Not his queen.
I rummaged through my closet, pulling out the most flamboyant red dress that I could find, with soft orange hues that made it look like it was knit from a phoenix’s feathers.
I changed into it, then ran a brush through my hair as best I could without access to a mirror before making my way through the castle halls to find my prince.
My attire drew plenty of attention as I walked boldly with a fresh fire flickering in my eyes, only stopping to speak to the guards who were standing in front of the throne room.
“Is Prince Blamore inside? I should like an audience with him,” I said in a clear and concise tone.
“Why yes, Your Highness, but he’s meeting with the council members right now,” the guard said politely. “I’m not certain that now is a great time to speak with him.”
“The council? That’s perfect, I should like them to be present too. Could you kindly let me in?” I nodded toward the door, and the two guards shared a considering glance before ultimately deciding not to question their queen-to-be.
They pulled the doors open, giving me a grand entrance as all conversation died down when I stepped confidently into the throne room.
Blamore was seated on the throne, masquerading as a ruler who could actually be depended on.
His attention was naturally drawn to my striking gown, and he ogled me with a slight curl of his lips as I commanded the room with my entrance.
The council members had been clustered at the base of the throne, but silently parted and dipped their heads to me as I moved toward the front of the room.
The silence was unnerving, but I’d been through colder hells. Blamore stepped down from the throne, moving to meet me, but he halted when I held up a palm before he could get any closer.
“Safara, what a lovely surprise,” he said in that smooth tone of his, looking a bit perplexed by my raised palm. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”
His smile made me sick, mostly because I still loved it. Those kind-looking eyes made my heart swell like it had only a few hours ago in my mind. I despised how much his welcoming voice melted me, and it took everything in my power not to smile back at the man who left me for dead.
Don’t believe that smile. It never loved you.
“Good morning, Your Highness,” I said as coldly as if my lips were still cracked and blue. “I apologize for the disturbance, but I’ve come to inform you of an urgent update.”
“Oh?” He folded his arms, giving me a playful smile that sparked a round of chuckles from the other men. “Well, there’s no need to be so formal about it. By all means, tell me what is so urgent, my dear princess.”
I clenched my teeth down on the word dear, remembering it coming from the lips of the man who kissed me goodbye.
The only reason I was sent to marry him was to forge an alliance to protect our kingdom after the loss of my father.
He knew that I needed him more than he needed me, but not anymore.
Not when I knew that I deserved far better than a cowardly prince.
“I have come to inform you that, as of this moment, I will be severing our engagement,” I said plainly, completely unbothered by the appalled gasps and shocked whispers that followed.
I did, however, enjoy Blamore’s reaction.
His pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks, his handsome features washing white as a delicious blow hit his pride.
“I-I’m sorry?” he stammered, already attempting to smooth things over with another smile, but failing to keep his lips from twitching. “That can’t be right.”
“It is,” I clarified. “Goodbye, Prince Blamore.”
I picked up my skirt and turned to leave, unsurprised that he hurried after me to catch me by the arm. Funny, he didn’t have any issues with us being separated last time.
“Hold on just a moment.” He squeezed my arm a bit too tight for my liking. “What are you saying, Safara? Have I done something?”
“Not yet.”
“Not yet?” He sounded so broken, but I didn’t buy that any of it was real.
I knew just how good of an actor he could be.
“But that doesn’t make any sense. What’s really the meaning of this?
Are you feeling ill?” He tried to reach a hand for my forehead, but I yanked myself free from his grip before he could lay another finger on me.
He wouldn’t care if I was ill. Not in the end.
“Actually, I’m not ill,” I said, stretching and curling my fingers as I smiled down at their easy movements. “In fact, I’ve never been more alive. Which is precisely why I intend to make the most out of this life.”
“What?” Blamore scoffed, his true colors bleeding out in the smallest drops as his temper threatened to crack through his charming armor. “You’re speaking nonsense.”
“Perhaps.” I glanced back at him, my wicked smile devouring his anger. It was so satisfying to watch him boil after he left me to freeze. “But fear not, Your Highness, I know exactly what I’m doing. From this point forward, nothing will stop me from becoming the best queen I can be.”
“Queen?” Blamore laughed, the sound sharp and biting. “Whose queen? You just said you’re leaving me.”
I started walking out the door, my red skirts trailing behind me like a phoenix’s tail feathers as I pulled my engagement ring from my finger and dropped it on the throne room’s floor with a clatter.
“Surely the snow king could use a wife.”