Chapter 25
The warmth from the stone hearth died with my heart. The smoke was painful to inhale, my lungs barely able to absorb my breaths as my chest felt stiffer and stiffer. Without the fire, my body was giving up faster. My heart was freezing.
I glanced down at my ring, wondering how much of the conversation Cassian had been able to hear while I wasn’t speaking directly to him.
My lips parted to speak with him, but my voice only squeaked.
I gasped for air after the attempt, the smoke clogging my throat and sending me into a spiral of painful wheezes.
No, I can’t die yet. Not until I know Cassian is all right.
I did my best to calm my breathing, but after the smoke cleared, the cold truly set in.
My teeth chattered relentlessly, and once again the words were lost on my tongue.
My attention shifted to the last remnants of the fire, the tiny orange glow longing to burn once again.
With stiff movements, I knocked open the flue with the side of my arm, the creaky iron lever fortunately not sticking too much in the cold.
Air traveled back through the chimney, but instead of rousing the fire to life it only greeted me with a horrid chill. The embers were too small to start on their own without kindling, and there wasn’t any firewood within reach—not that I could have lifted it anyway.
Think, there has to be something I can burn... Wait!
I fished Piney out of my pocket, barely able to carry the sacrificial warrior in my palm. With a nod of gratitude, I tossed Piney into the fire, and the brave soldier burned with all his might.
Thank you, Harley.
The tiny flame wasn’t going to last long, but it was enough to get my blood moving again and settle the chattering in my teeth. I looked back at the ring, testing my voice with the smallest of whispers.
“Cassian?”
“I’m here,” Cassian appeared immediately, his fearful tone shaking his strong voice. “I’m here, Safara. What do you need?”
It was such a sweet question, one that could have a dozen answers, but not a single one that I could give.
“I just need you to wait with me,” I whispered, my fading strength making it hard to offer him a smile. “It will be over soon.”
I’m back at the end again.
“Over?” he repeated, the word seemingly difficult for him to speak. “What do you mean? Safara, are you safe? How are you feeling?”
I’m not. I’m not feeling.
I could only smile at him, my eyes struggling to focus as I watched his reflection blur inside my ring. “I did it,” I said. “He’s going to rebuild the mirror.”
“That’s...that’s incredible, Safara.” He didn’t sound happy. “But where are you? If the mirror is repaired, I can come find you.”
I’m exactly where I was last time.
Three months ago, I woke up three months in the past. No matter what timeline I lived in, today was the day that I was destined to die.
“I’m still by the fire,” I whispered. “I’ll wait right here for you.”
“I’ll be right there.” His voice cracked, right as the fire’s crackling stopped. “Just hold on, Safara. I promise I’ll come find you.”
I hoped I could wait that long.
My legs were done. They might as well have been in chains again, and my lungs were slowing down for good. I could hear my heart beating, the soft soothing sound ticking down the final minutes of my clock.
The smell of smoke filled my nose, just like it had the last time I’d perished. But this time, there was no phoenix ready to be reborn, just a snow queen ready to be carried off in her king’s sled.
Even so, death was easier this time.
The fire was gone, but I didn’t feel cold anymore.
I hadn’t done everything right, but I did do everything better.
Cassian would live on to overthrow his brother, and with any luck he could find a cure for blackwood poisoning.
However he ruled, I knew it would be better for the people.
My final act as queen was leaving behind a king I could truly trust.
My wish had been granted after all.
“Cassian?” I rasped.
“Yes, Safara?”
“Will you take care of Rothen for me?” I paused to catch my breath, my throat feeling smaller than a quill’s point. “Look after my mother? And my sister?”
“I will,” he said, my finger feeling almost warm under the icy band.
“I swear I will, but until then let me take care of my queen.” I couldn’t look at my ring anymore, my head was stuck in one place, staring blankly at the frosted window and the beautiful white snow falling behind its glass. “I love you, my queen.”
Those words...they’d been spoken here before.
Blamore’s confession was the last voice I heard before I was left to die. Once again, love would be the end of me, but this time, it was the perfect way for it to end.
“I love you too...” My voice faded off, and I hoped he heard it as my lungs refused to spare any air for my voice.
He never responded. Not even as much as a chill in the air followed our confessions as I sat in the silence of the cold castle. There was no telling where Cassian had disappeared to, but I was content with that being our last exchange. My heart may have been freezing, but it had never been so full.
My eyelids fluttered shut, my gasps racking my entire body until it was almost too much to bear. There was no use in struggling to cling to life anymore. I had already lived it twice.
Goodbye, Cassian. I hope you find love again with your new life.
A sharp crashing sound interrupted my peace, forcing my eyes open and startling another gasp out of me as a gust of wind rushed in through the broken window.
The surprise kicked my heart back into gear, giving it a few more steady beats so I could lay eyes on the culprit that had smashed its way inside.
Lying at my feet was a small, lopsided rock with a charcoal smile.