Chapter 16
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
Today has been the longest fucking day of my life, and all I want is to get home, have a hot shower, and veg out until I fall asleep. It’s all I want! It’s all I’ve been thinking about doing for the last several hours, and now I’m finally able to leave the arena and go home, and I’m hit with a flat fucking tire.
Standing on the side of the road with my thumb and forefinger pinching the bridge of my nose, I curse the gods before popping my trunk. I’ve changed a tire a total of, like, one time in my entire life, and even then, it was a stretch. I’ll have to pull up a YouTube video with instructions if I want to make it home with my car in one piece. I lift the carpet on the floorboard in the trunk, easily spotting the donut. But where are the tools?
“You must be joking.” Groaning, I let my head fall back onto my shoulders as I stare up into the evening sky as if it’ll have all the answers. Like the tools I’ll need will magically fall from there, hopefully avoiding hitting me—but hell, maybe that’s what I need.
Not only has today been the longest day, it’s also been one of the shittiest. The Grand Prix is approaching quickly—this fucking weekend—and my camera picked today to crap out on me. I’m going to have to go buy a new one tomorrow, and I really wasn’t planning on spending that kind of money. A steady fucking job would come in handy right about now. And if that isn’t bad enough, I slipped and fell in the dirt earlier. I’m covered in it, and I feel like I smell like horse shit.
Pulling out my phone, I find Benji’s number and hit call. It rings and rings before connecting to voicemail. I hang up and try again. And again.
“Come on!”
Finally, I try Jade’s number, and thankfully, she picks up after the first ring.
“Grady, what’s up?”
“Can you please come help me?” I beg.
“Where are you? What’s wrong?”
“I’m on the side of Jeffrey Place, about a mile down the road from Powder Ridge with a flat. I don’t have the tools needed to switch out the tire for the donut.”
She sighs. “Can’t you ask one of your friends? I’m trying to put Suzy down for bed.”
“Do you think I would’ve called if I had any other option?”
“Give me twenty minutes,” she finally says, and I can tell by her tone of voice that she’s not happy about it. It makes me feel like shit, but what else am I supposed to do? Hitchhike?
“Thank you!”
Jade got back from Salt Lake City two weeks ago, and it’s been interesting staying with her and Boone as they figure their shit out with Jade going back to work. I’ve been helping with Suzy a lot more when I’m not at the arena, which I absolutely do not mind. In fact, I really enjoy hanging out with my niece as much as I have been.
Things between Boone and I are…tense. It’s been just over three weeks since I caught him jacking off, and we still haven’t talked about it. Not even once. We haven’t talked about anything, really, aside from the night we all watched a movie. Which kind of bums me out. We had somewhat of a friendship, and it feels like I’ve completely ruined that. Although, I will say that even though we haven’t spoken these last few weeks, when neither of us can sleep, it seems we both have the same idea. Numerous times now, we’ve found ourselves sitting together on the back porch in a comfortable silence in the dead of night. It’s one of the only times I’m okay with the silence between us. It feels right, like maybe these little moments will heal what happened when I spied on him.
If Jade’s noticed any friction, she sure hasn’t said anything—at least to me. Although, she probably thinks Boone’s weird mood has to do with their upcoming divorce and everything that comes with that. Which could be true. I very well could be making all this tension up in my head, trying to make it be about me when it’s not.
I’m probably not even on his mind at all.
Headlights round the corner and come to a stop behind my car, and the first thing I notice is the lights are way too tall to belong to Jade’s car. Sure enough, the door opens, illuminating the inside with the overhead light, and it’s Boone I see hopping out of his truck.
Fuck! She sent Boone.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as he approaches me.
“Your sister said you had a flat and needed help.” His tone is bored, and his facial expression looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here.
Okay, maybe he didn’t forget all about it.
“Well, I asked her to come.”
“Yeah, well, she practically pushed me out the door, so…” He works his jaw as he moves around me to inspect the tire.
“Sorry for making you come all the way out here.”
“It’s fine.”
It doesn’t sound fine…at all.
A few moments pass in silence. It’s stifling, I can’t stand it. “I’ve only ever done this once, but if you show me what to do, I can do it all myself. I just didn’t have the tools.”
“I’ll just do it,” he grits out. “It’ll be faster that way.”
Oookay then.
He hands me a flashlight to point toward the tire since it’s now totally dark outside, especially since the area I’m parked at is covered by trees. Squatting down, he gets to work right away, taking the blown tire off before putting the new one on. He moves swiftly, and it’s clear that he—unlike me—knows what he’s doing. Boone seems like the type of man who is skilled at everything he does. Like there isn’t an odd job he wouldn’t be able to do. He’s a man’s man in every sense of the word.
And of course, the minute I think about Boone and his skills, that night flashes in my mind as if it hasn’t been on a constant loop every single day since. God, if I thought my attraction to Boone was bad before, it’s an entirely different level of fucked up now that I’ve seen him naked. Now that I’ve seen him pleasure himself. I watch porn like any other red-blooded man, but there is something so erotic…so thrilling about watching it in person. Watching the way someone like Boone handles himself. How tightly he gripped himself. The way his muscles bunched and flexed. My blood heats now just thinking about it.
I never pegged myself as much of a voyeur, but that night has had me wanting a repeat every single day since. Which obviously is never going to happen. Ever. Especially not with Boone, if the way his expertise level of avoidance tells me anything.
The silence between us is deafening, and I’m getting antsy. There aren’t even any animals or car sounds happening around us. It’s pure skin-crawling silence. The air around us feels tight and suffocating, and if I feel this, there’s no way he doesn’t. My heart is beating wildly against my rib cage, my pulse roaring in my ears.
Panicked, I blurt out, “So, about that night…” Boone’s hand freezes, and I watch his shoulders hike up to his ears. You’d think that would be my clue to shut the hell up. But I don’t. No, that would be too easy. I keep going. “I, uh…I didn’t see anything.”
What? Why the fuck would I say that?
Fuck it. It’s not like Boone’s going to call me out on the lie. That would require him to actually talk about it. This is my way of giving him an out. Giving him a way to move on from it.
But does he take the out like I fully expected him to? Of fucking course not.
Glancing over his shoulder at me, his eyes narrow as his jaw pops. “What the fuck are you talking about, Grady? You saw everything.”
Alright.
Okay.
It’s fine. This is fine.
But if the ground wanted to open up and swallow me whole, I’d gladly welcome it.
We stare at each other for one hell of a tense beat, my cheeks flushing and my stomach bottoming out. Why the fuck would he say that?
And what do I say back?
Jesus Christ.
“Well?” he blurts out, brows lifting as he stares at me expectedly. “You just gonna stand there and look at me?”
“Okay, yes,” I sputter. “I did see…everything.” Every glorious inch. Every drop of cum as it splattered against your sweat slick skin. Every wave of pleasure written on your face.
Boone stands to his full height, but he doesn’t come any closer than he already is. “It’s fine.” He blows out on a breath. “Can we just…forget it ever fucking happened?”
He’s giving me the out this time.
I should take it. I really should.
But my mouth can’t seem to shut up at this point because I just keep going. “It doesn’t really seem like it’s fine since we’ve hardly spoken since it happened. Maybe we should talk about it.”
“And what exactly is there to say?” he asks, taking one large step forward, his presence larger than life and imposing. “What the fuck were you doing up there anyway?”
“I, uhm…” This isn’t good. “I’m sorry! I was up there getting a towel to take a shower and I heard something.”
“So you thought you’d inspect?”
“Yeah.” I shrug awkwardly, feeling like my heart is going to come up my throat any second. “I didn’t know what it was.”
“That doesn’t exactly explain why you stayed there,” he throws back. Boone is standing so close to me I can smell his aftershave. It’s making me dizzy, and it’s so not helping.
An apology should be what falls off my lips. That would fix everything. Just say you’re sorry for creeping around his space when you shouldn’t have, Grady. Say it.
“It’s not exactly like you stopped when you saw me,” I spit out instead, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly. Boone’s jaw clenches again, eyes narrowed into slits. I need to shut my fucking mouth. The logical part of my brain knows this. In fact, it’s screaming at me to shut the fuck up. The problem is, clearly the logical part of my brain isn’t running the show tonight. “Actually, from where I was standing, it almost looked like you enjoyed it.”
“Excuse me?” His voice comes out low—a warning rumble.
I puff out my chest for some unknown reason, and say, “You heard me. I think you liked having an audience.”
Oh, fuck. He looks mad.
In one swift move, Boone fists the front of my shirt, spinning us, and shoving my back into the side of my car hard enough that the wind is knocked out of me. “You’ve got some nerve staying in my fucking house, sneaking around where you don’t belong, and then accusing me of something like that.”
He doesn’t exactly deny it. But he’s right.
Blowing out a deep breath, I nod, the right part of my brain seeming to finally get control of the wild side. “You’re right. I’m sorry, Boone. I was out of line,” I say shakily. “Then and now. I shouldn’t have been peeking into your room like that, and I should’ve left immediately after seeing what I did. I’m sorry.”
His chest heaves with rapid breaths, as does mine. Based on the way he’s watching me, brows dipped in confusion, I’d say he wasn’t expecting me to apologize. Neither of us says anything for a while, everything I just said simmering over the top of us. My heart is still racing a mile a minute, and my mouth is so damn dry. I poke my tongue out to wet my lips, and I watch in shock as Boone’s eyes dip down to track the movement.
Holy fuck.
Did I just imagine that?
Quickly, they avert back up to meet my gaze. He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple rolling in his throat, and now it’s my turn to observe.
What is happening?
His hands are still gripping my shirt, and our bodies are only a few inches apart. His hot breath fans my face as neither of us seems to know what to do next.
Finally, after too long, he lets go of my shirt, smoothing out the wrinkles he caused with his hand. Clearing his throat, Boone holds my gaze. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Let’s not blow this out of proportion any longer, okay? Let’s forget it ever happened and try to move on.”
Part of me is relieved…but part of me is disappointed. I nod, clearing my throat. “Yeah, okay.”
As if the last ten minutes never happened either, we both get back to the task at hand, and before I know it, the donut is installed. Boone packs his tools up.
“I’ll follow behind you home in case anything happens,” he says. “It should be more than fine, just don’t go too fast.”
Nodding again, I say, “Okay. Thank you.”
Maybe never saying anything about that night would’ve been best. Hopefully, we’re able to do exactly as he says, and just move on. I don’t exactly have the money to move out right now, so this has to work.
Like he said, Boone follows behind me the whole way home, and when we get out of our vehicles and head inside, neither of us exchanges another word or look. Jade must already be upstairs in her room because I don’t see her. I head to my room and he heads up the stairs, and that’s that. A feeling of disappointment settles in as I sit down on the edge of my bed, replaying the events that just took place. Everything that was said, the flair of heat in his eyes when I called him out—probably from anger, but maybe from something else entirely. It’s a hope I shouldn’t hold on to, for many reasons. Like Boone said, we need to forget it ever happened and move on.
I wish it were that easy.