Chapter Nine #3
Picturing the little girl waking in a strange bedroom to find a man watching her in the darkness, I could break Charlie’s neck with my bare hands. No wonder she lost her way. But I can take care of her. It’s what I do, and Hennessy deserves to have a little TLC in her life.
My back stiffens. Truthfully, what she deserves is someone who loves her.
But I can’t do that. I think those years in care when I had to seal myself off froze out any possibility of loving someone.
I’m not built for the risks that loving someone takes.
And what do I know about relationships? Aside from Antony, everyone in my life has been transient, and even with him I had to send him away to school to give him stability.
I’m just not meant to be tethered to anyone.
But I can treat her with respect and consideration and make her smile.
Not the smile-for-the-cameras smile that’s just for show.
I mean, the smile she shares with me. I’ll make sure she keeps getting the support she needs.
And, in the meantime, we can enjoy a few more days away from the spotlight.
Scotland will be perfect for that. And by the time we reach New York, I might be the owner of an American news network.
I call Barker back and agree to the meeting.
‘He suggested a round of golf, but I’m more of an ice-hockey man myself. Do you need more sunblock?’
Hennessy is lying beside me on a sun lounger. Her body is already a light uniform gold, but I am judicious about reapplying protection, mainly because it allows me to run my hands over her smooth, warm skin.
‘You play ice-hockey? What is it with you and secrets? It’s like you have this whole other life. I’m starting to worry that at some point you’re going to tell me you have a secret collection of commemorative plates or samurai swords.’
‘Sadly not.’ I have a secret life, though. A life of loneliness, loss and responsibility that is too painful for me to talk about, even with Antony. Especially with Antony. I wonder if this is another instance of me selfishly pursuing my own agenda.
‘That’s a relief.’ She runs her hand lightly over my chest. ‘I don’t know much about ice-hockey, but I like the “snowy warrior” vibe. You know, stubble, fur and sweat.’
‘I’m not sure what you think happens in ice-hockey, but I don’t remember much fur being involved.’
‘Pity.’
Beside me, I feel Hennessy tense as somewhere in the house a phone starts to ring.
‘Scusi, Signor Valetti…’
We both turn toward where Paola is hurrying towards us. I don’t even need to look at her face to know there is a problem. Paola is always composed, always calm. She never hurries.
I get to my feet. ‘What is it? Has something happened?’
‘I’m sorry to interrupt but I thought you should know. It’s all over the news. Signor Wade has been found and arrested.’
There is a moment of pure, stunned silence and I feel the shockwaves ripple across the sunlit pool. And then my phone starts to ring.
‘Thank you, Paola. I’ve got it from here.’
Hennessy is staring past me, her gaze following Paola back into the villa. She looks not just shocked but stricken, and I pull her against me, wrapping her in my arms.
‘It’s okay. It will be okay.’
‘I know I should be pleased that he’s been found but…’ She breathes out shakily.
‘But you’re worried about what happens next.’ My phone starts to ring again. ‘It’s Gerry. I should take this.’
I take three more calls in quick succession and then I mute my phone and turn to where Hennessy is sitting on the lounger.
‘Okay, so he was picked up in Buenos Aires. He’s being held at the central police station. I spoke to Agent Carson. They’re on their way out there with all the necessary paperwork but I think it will take a couple of days to process everything.’
‘Is Charlie okay?’
I nod.
‘And what about Jade? Is she there?’
I shake my head. ‘Look, I know this is hard, but try not to panic. Carson said she’ll get back to me with any updates, and in the meantime, we can talk to Charlie’s lawyers. What are you doing?’
She is sliding her feet into her flip-flops. ‘I’m going to get dressed. Do you think we can leave before lunch?’
‘Leave?’
‘For Buenos Aires.’
‘We can’t go to Buenos Aires. It’ll be a circus.’
Her eyes flutter across my face. She is still in shock, I realise, but when I move towards her she steps backwards uncertainly.
‘But you said…you said we were going to talk to the lawyers.’
‘Yes. In New York, not in Argentina.’
She is staring at me as if I am a stranger, and I feel like a stranger to myself. But that is the problem—I have become a stranger. Because of her. I’ve let my defences slide. I’ve let Hennessy take charge of my life.
My phone vibrates in my hand. I lift it automatically and click on the notification. It is a video of Charlie being jostled through a baying crowd of reporters and photographers. I catch a glimpse of the cuffs on his wrists and then he is engulfed again.
I can feel Hennessy’s panic swelling into the warm sunlight, and I want to bridge the gap between us, to comfort her, to explain.
But I can’t, because this isn’t who I am or who I want to be.
Since Hennessy walked into the Wade and Walters building, I have been pretending to myself that it doesn’t matter.
I slipped out of my skin and under hers.
But this is the reality. Chaos. Confusion. Consequences that will be impossible to control.
‘Look, I know he’s selfish and impulsive…’
‘He’s reckless. And he is about to become a criminal.’
‘I thought people were innocent until proven guilty.’
‘You know he’s guilty. He knows he’s guilty, that’s why he went on the run. But we are not guilty. And we have just spent a week persuading the world they can trust us, so the last thing we should be doing is cosying up to Charlie.’
‘He’s my father.’
‘I don’t care. He is bad news—literally.’
‘What if it was Antony? What would you do then?’
My stomach lurches. The idea of my brother being manhandled into a police station is appalling but it is also a reminder of the difference between Hennessy’s life and mine.
‘Antony is not Charlie. I’m not Charlie.
And I never can be. Because I know what it’s like to be powerless—to have no voice, no money.
I know that if you’re not in control things go wrong.
I loved my parents, and they loved me and Antony, but they weren’t in charge of their lives.
They didn’t think about health care, so my dad ignored the signs of heart disease and mum didn’t bother checking out the lump in her breast.’
It is the first time I’ve ever admitted that to anyone, and it hurts.
I glance down at myself and frown. What kind of man handles a crisis in swimming shorts?
Suddenly I feel angry, an anger that is intense and endless, and I direct it at Hennessy, because I have given her power over me that I should never have yielded.
Power I never wanted to yield. This is her doing.
She has hijacked me, held me hostage, robbed me of the discipline I need to survive and protect what is mine.
‘I don’t take risks, Hennessy. I do everything in my power to eliminate them from my life—and Charlie is a risk.’
And, by implication, Hennessy is too. She hears the unsaid part of that sentence. I know because she flinches. ‘You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking. Obviously, I need to go on my own.’
‘If you want my advice, I would stay well away.’
‘But I didn’t want your advice. I wanted your support. I thought that’s what you were offering. I thought we were, well, that it was more than…’
She turns away, but not before I see the hurt in her eyes. ‘Hennessy…’
‘It’s fine. I’m not blaming you. It’s not like we talked about it, or us, so don’t worry about it. I’m going to go and get dressed. But thanks for rescuing me in Milan. For rescuing me, full-stop.’
‘Take the jet. I can organise another. And use the car.’
She doesn’t reply, just walks towards the villa.
There is a moment when I could stop her.
Several, in fact. I could grab her arm. I could call her name.
I could stride after her and block her path.
But I do none of those things. I watch her leave.
I can’t go with her. This was only ever going to work here, outside of the real world.
I wait for the feeling of relief to rescue me from the open, empty ache beneath my ribs. And I keep waiting. And waiting…until Paola comes to tell me that Hennessy has left.
And then I wait some more.