26. Maverick Carter
Chapter twenty-six
Maverick Carter
The sound of water running is almost enough to make me fall asleep standing up. I haven’t slept well lately, ever since things went so poorly with Evie. So that combined with this early wake up call for Beckham has me swaying on my feet. But I know that Evie is much worse off than I am, so after I fill the humidifier with water, I bend over the sink and splash my face to wake up.
After we got home, I went and got everything Evie would need for Beckham from upstairs. It took two trips, but my bedroom is now fit to be a nursery. All that’s left to do is turn on this humidifier and get in bed. Next to Evie.
I know this is the best option for helping take care of her and Beckham, but it doesn’t make it any less daunting. Her falling asleep next to me on the couch is one thing, but she’s going to be in my bed . My sheets are going to smell like roses and vanilla. From tonight on, every time I go in my room I’m going to know she’s been there. No matter what happens between us, this moment will be forever etched into our history.
After a few deep breaths and a couple more splashes of water, I head to my bedroom. The only light in the room is the lamp on my bedside table. Maisy is in her dog bed, pouting because she’s not sharing the bed with me tonight.
Evie is seated on the opposite edge of the bed, facing away from me. Her light brown hair is loose down her back, removed from the messy bun she had it in earlier. She’s rocking back and forth while humming softly, and I can see Beckham’s toes peeking out on her right side. I get three more steps into the room before the realization of what she’s humming crashes into me, knocking the wind out of my lungs. I almost drop the humidifier.
My mother’s favorite hymn. She’d hum the tune while brushing her hand through our hair before we went to sleep and on days when the pain got to be too much for her, we’d play it in the hospital to make her smile. That’s what comes to mind when Evie wants to comfort her son. It feels too perfect–kismet, even.
It’s then that I begin to wonder if Grayson was right. Maybe it has always been Evie, but we just haven’t gotten the timing right. As I listen to her hum the song that permeated both of our childhoods, I begin to hope. For more of this, for more of her. I’d give up sleep entirely if it meant I could be by her side.
Evie looks over her shoulder. Her brow furrows. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I whisper and continue walking to my nightstand. I think I’m falling in love with you, I want to say. But instead, “Everything’s fine. I didn’t want to disturb him if he was starting to sleep. ”
A weary smile pulls at her lips. Her eyes are rimmed in shadows, but I can tell that she’s starting to relax. “He just closed his eyes, so I think we all might be able to get some sleep.”
I set the water tank portion of the diffuser onto the base, then turn it on high. Soft mist starts to pour out. While I was in the store, I researched the best one available. This one works miracles apparently, and is used often by parents in the same situation as us.
Us ? I shake my head. I’m getting way too ahead of myself. I need to take my brothers’ advice and go slow before I overstep more than I already have.
I sit up against the headboard, pulling the blankets over my legs and positioning a pillow behind my back.
“I’ll sit up for at least a little while to make sure he’s breathing well. If he sounds good, I may lay down too,” I tell her as she walks over and places him in the bassinet on my side.
“Thank you,” she says in a quiet, but sincere tone.
“You’re welcome.”
We fall into stilted silence. She slides under the covers on the other side of the bed. It’s a king size mattress, but it feels much smaller than that tonight. She curls up on her side facing away from me, likely so this doesn’t feel any more awkward. I turn off the lamp beside me, plunging us into darkness.
“Mav?” Her whisper breaks the silence.
“Yeah?” I whisper back.
“I couldn’t have gotten through tonight without you. I know you’d do this for anyone, but it still means a lot to me. I’m grateful to have you in my corner.”
I smile at her boxing reference. “Thank you for letting me be in it.” I pause. “And Wilder? ”
“Hm?”
“I wouldn’t do this for just anyone.”
I wake up to the smell of roses and sweet vanilla sugar. I’m warmer than I’ve ever been, even when Maisy sleeps on my feet all night. It takes me a moment, but as I blink open my eyes it becomes apparent why I’m so cozy.
Evie is tucked against my chest, her fists clenching the fabric of my shirt like it’s a blanket. She looks so relaxed and at peace. Her full, pink lips are tipped up at the edges like the beginnings of a smile. She fits in my arms perfectly, like chocolate in a candy mold. I close my eyes and breathe her sweet scent in.
The sun is peeking through my curtains, showering the room in a hazy golden glow. I’m sure I only got a couple hours of sleep, but I feel ten times better than last night. It’s times like these that I’m glad I don’t have to be at the bakery every day for it to function. Even though I enjoy going in and baking early in the morning, I enjoy this much more.
Evie shifts in my arms, snuggling closer like she can’t get enough. I smile down at her, though the bubbly feeling in my chest is bittersweet because she’s only like this while asleep. Maybe one day this will be our normal though. Getting up throughout the night, switching off who takes care of Beckham, then waking up all tangled together.
Beckham starts to whine in the bassinet next to me. I slowly roll onto my back, gently removing Evie’s hands from my t-shirt. She mumbles something incoherent, but doesn’t wake. I look over at the clock on my nightstand. Ten in the morning. Only an hour and a half since the last time he was awake. I think I remember Evie saying he was close to sleeping through the night recently, but I’m sure being sick has disrupted that.
I get my arm out from under Evie’s head, replacing it with my pillow. Then I slowly get out of the bed, doing my best to not wake her up in the process. I pull the covers up over her, then get Beckham up. Evie brought down a little basket with everything for changing him, and it has a thermometer in there too, so I grab it on my way out of the room. There’s also a little notepad where we’ve been writing down his temperature. Our handwriting is mostly scrawls because we wrote it with bleary eyes, but it’s legible enough to know his fever has been steadily going down.
Maisy follows me out of the room, and I close the door behind us so that she doesn’t go back in and wake Evie up by licking her face like she does to me. I change Beckham on a mat on the couch, then work on getting him a bottle. He’s still pretty congested, so feeding him doesn’t go as smoothly as it has when I’ve taken care of him in the past. We make it through, though, and once he’s burped and calmed down, I feel accomplished.
Over the course of my life I’ve played different sports, competed with and against my brothers, even won some awards for baking. All of that pales in comparison to this feeling. Seeing Beckham smile up at me after a night of tears has me shedding a few of my own.
I want this so bad. The late nights, the sleepy mornings, the tears, the smiles. I want it all and then some. The longing is deep within me, settled into my marrow. I pushed it away after Alexis hurt me, but it’s come back in full force. The dull ache is increasing every day I spend with this beautiful woman and her son.
Beckham starts to babble, lifting his head off my chest to look at me with bright blue eyes that match his mother’s. I use the collar of my shirt to wipe away my tears. His little fingers grip my shirt, making me let out a laugh.
“You and your mom are a lot more alike than you even know, buddy.”