Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Susanna
As I lay in Gabriel’s arms, I know I need to tell him what I’ve done.
“I tried to kill my sister-in-law.”
He goes still for a moment before he looks down at me. “You did?”
I force myself to look him in the eye since I know I need to tell him this. I need to say out loud what I’ve done. The bad person I used to be. And maybe I still am bad, falling for a man like Gabriel, but I want to be better.
“When Alek married Katya, I was upset. It felt like a betrayal. I used to have a crush on Alek back in the day. Yes, he was like a father to me and Nina but he wasn’t our actual father.
I felt hurt when he married Katya. I was so angry.
Sixteen and full of attitude. I… pushed her into a pool.
She didn’t know how to swim. Fortunately, she was ok.
But I still did that. And at the time, I tried to act like I hadn’t done anything wrong when I knew I had.
I knew how in the wrong I was. But I doubled down.
I understand your darkness because I have felt it before myself.
I always feel it. Because I know what I’m capable of and it’s not pretty. ”
He runs his hand over my hair, being more gentle than I ever thought possible for Gabriel. “Your past doesn’t bother me. I like that you have that darkness like I do.”
“But I don’t want to be that way anymore. I don’t want to sink into that darkness again. But my family will never let me fully grow. Never let me change. But you’re allowing me to. I’m not saying I’ll become a better person. But I can become a woman I am proud of with a man who accepts me for me.”
“I’m at war with your sister’s husband. How does that make you feel?”
“Not great,” I admit. “I want to see Nina again. I miss her. But I can’t change with her. She’ll always see me the same way even if we have worked on our relationship.”
“Will you be happy with me, knowing you’ll never see your family again?”
I can’t answer him because… I don’t know.
Gabriel nods like he understands. “It’s been a long day. Let’s get some sleep.”
I find myself snuggling into him – my scary, dangerous husband who I shouldn’t care for and yet I do. I’ve taken the chance to change my life, even if it means leaving my old life behind.
Alek
I get a bloody sheet in the mail. Attached to the sheet is a note.
I claimed Susanna as my own. Here’s the proof.
I crinkle the note in my hands. Gabriel touched Susanna and sent me the bloody sheet so I would know exactly what he did. He’s playing a dangerous game here and I will not let him win.
But I can’t involve Luca. He’ll only kill Susanna to get to Gabriel. I need to find Susanna myself and save her. Then Gabriel will be free to kill. It’s the only way to end this for good.
Susanna
True to his word, Gabriel doesn’t keep me captive in the cage now that we’re married. He trusts that I’ll stay by his side and truthfully, there’s nowhere else I want to be.
But I can’t stop thinking of my sister. Is she worried for me? Does she miss me like I miss her?
Nina may never let me fully grow into the woman I want to be but she is still someone I love. Someone I care for. Someone I miss.
And I need to see her again. I need to let her know that I’m ok and that I’ve decided to make my life with Gabriel. It’s the only way I can truly be happy with him.
So the moment Gabriel leaves the house for business – business that I hope doesn’t lead to Alek’s death – I sneak out too.
I don’t have a car so it’s up to public transportation to get to Nina. I swipe a couple of bills that Gabriel has laying on the kitchen counter and head to the nearest subway station. The only thing I had to wear was my wedding dress and a jacket of Gabriel’s I stole.
I pay for my ticket and as I wait in the station, I notice a homeless woman sleeping by the wall. She’s shivering. The old me would have scoffed at a woman like her. Would have said it was all her fault that she’s in the predicament she’s in.
But I know what it’s like to have nothing. Know what it’s like to be cold and shivering in a basement after having been kidnapped.
Before I know what I’m doing, I take my jacket off and place it over the woman’s body. She opens her eyes.
“It’s for you,” I tell her. She gives me an appreciative nod and wraps the jacket tighter around herself.
I may be sinking into the darkness with Gabriel but that doesn’t mean I can’t become a better person.
I take the subway to Luca’s house but I don’t knock on the door. Instead, I wait for Nina to leave. I know she always goes to a yoga class this time of day.
As if on cue, she leaves the house, her yoga mat over her shoulder. Before she can get in her car, I rush to her side.
“Nina.”
She gasps and whirls around. “Susanna,” she breathes out. “What are you doing here? That doesn’t matter. You’re alive.” She wraps her arms around me and holds me close.
And I hold her back. But I expected to feel warmth when I hugged my sister. Instead, all I can think about is how much I miss Gabriel’s arms around me.
“Come in,” she says, ushering me to the door.
“I can’t stay. I have to get back.”
“Back to where?”
I hesitate and she narrows her eyes.
“Back to Gabriel?” she asks. “Luca told me you put yourself in front of him to save his life.”
“Did Luca also tell you he didn’t hesitate to pull the trigger on me to get to Gabriel?”
She sucks in a breath. “No, he didn’t.”
“Your husband may love you but he doesn’t love me. He is willing to kill me to kill Gabriel.”
“So why don’t you come inside then? You’re free of Gabriel. You’ll be safe here and then Luca can go kill him for you.”
“But I don’t want Gabriel dead.”
She blinks, clearly not understanding what I’m telling her. “Susanna, I… what is going on?”
“I married him.”
“I know. But he forced you into that.”
“No, he didn’t.”
She blows out a heavy breath. “What are you telling me?”
“I’m telling you that I want to live my life with Gabriel. He accepts me for me. Which is more than I can say of most people. But I had to see you again. I missed you too much. I had to let you know that I’m alright. That I’m alive.”
“Susanna…”
“I need to go back now. Gabriel will wonder where I am. He’ll be angry. I don’t want him to hurt you.”
“So let Luca kill him then. Then he can’t hurt me.”
“I don’t want him dead,” I admit.
Her eyes widen. “Do you… do you care for him?”
“I chose to marry him. He gave me the option and I chose it. He didn’t force me.”
She slumps against her car. “Susanna, why would you do this? You always cause problems.”
I flinch. “See? That right there. That’s why I want to be with Gabriel.
You’ll always see me as the immature little girl I used to be.
And I’ll fully admit, I was a horrible person when I was younger.
But I’m not choosing Gabriel to cause problems. I’m choosing Gabriel because he accepts me for me. He doesn’t think I’m a problem.”
“Susanna, I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that… how could you fall for a man like him?”
“You love your husband. How is he any different to mine? Luca is a dangerous man too and you know it. But you had an arranged marriage. You didn’t get to choose him. He chose you. But I chose Gabriel. I had that where you didn’t.”
“Is this what that’s about? You have to be better than me?”
“It’s not about being better than you, Nina. It’s about being my own person. It’s about being with a man who likes me for me. That’s it. So I am choosing to be with him.”
“Even if it puts us at war with each other? You would hurt me like this?”
“It’s not about you, Nina. I’m not doing this to hurt you.”
“But you’re not thinking about me either,” she snaps.
I sigh. None of this is going how I hoped.
“I know I never used to think about you when I made my decisions in the past. I know I was selfish and I guess I’m being selfish again.
But I’m also choosing what’s best for me and you not supporting me is being selfish.
He can give me the life I want. You and Luca can’t.
Alek can’t. I will never fully be able to grow when all of you still see me the same way I was when I was sixteen.
That’s why I’m choosing him. It’s not to hurt you.
That’s why I came here. To let you know that I’m unhurt.
That I’m ok. That you don’t have to worry for me. ”
“But Luca will try to kill him, Susanna. He won’t stop.”
“You can tell him to stop. Tell him I’m happy with Gabriel. That he doesn’t need to go to war over this. Maybe Gabriel can make a deal with Luca. Our marriage can help with that. We can still be in each other’s lives that way. But this way, I can be my own person.”
She hesitates before shaking her head. “It’s not a bad idea. In fact, it’s a pretty good one. But I doubt Luca will go for it. He wants Gabriel dead no matter what.”
“But you can make him change his mind. Only you. You know this. Please. Nina. For all of our sake’s. We can make this happen.”
“I’m just not sure…”
I grab her hands so tightly she winces. “Please.”
Her eyes widen. “This really means everything to you, doesn’t it?”
“It does. It really does.”
“Maybe… maybe I can try talking to Luca. If you really want to be with Gabriel, I mean… I can’t stop you. I don’t like it but I can’t stop you. You’ve always marched to the beat of your own drum.”
“Thank you,” I breathe out. “Thank you.”
Nina’s eyes flicker over my shoulder and I turn around, only to see Luca pulling up into the driveway.
He rushes out of the car at the sight of me. “Is Gabriel here?”
“No. So you don’t need to shoot me,” I snap.
A look of shame crosses his face. “I am sorry for that, Susanna. It wasn’t personal.”
“That’s the problem,” I spit out.
“So if Gabriel isn’t here then…”
“I am going back to him though. Nina can explain everything. Just get out of my way.”
“No. You’re staying here where you’ll be safe. Come along.” He grabs my arm and tugs me towards the house.
“Luca,” Nina says.
“Let me go!” I scream.
“I am not letting you go back to Gabriel” He forces me into the house. “Not when I have to kill him.”