Chapter 32
32
BUTCHER
Levi slid from the booth and engulfed Kaylee in a big hug. I, on the other hand, stared in disbelief. She couldn’t get on the plane? All right. What did that mean?
“Why not? Are you okay?” Levi questioned.
Kaylee stared up into his green eyes. “I’m sure I’m fired, but I just couldn’t leave.”
Coop and Ford slid out of their side of the booth. Coop tossed some cash onto the table and said, “We’ll let you three talk.”
“I don’t think we should talk here,” I said, and looked around for our waiter as Coop and Ford hugged Kaylee.
“Are you hungry?” Levi pulled her to sit on the side where Coop and Ford had vacated.
“A little. I was going to eat the in-flight meal.”
“Let’s order you something and then head back to my place,” I suggested.
“Yeah, we can do that,” Kaylee replied. “I actually don’t have an apartment to go back to anyway.”
“What? Why?” Levi questioned.
“Since I thought I was moving, I sublet my apartment for six months,” she explained.
“Then you’ll stay with us,” Levi stated.
While I wanted nothing more than to have her back in our bed, my heart was still broken from her walking out on us. It appeared Levi was forgetting how she’d broken up with us without letting us have a say.
“Let’s just focus on getting you something to eat first,” I said, trying to steer the conversation away from the heavy stuff. I spotted the waiter and waved him over.
“What are you hungry for?” Levi asked. “They make a killer lobster roll.”
“That sounds delicious,” Kaylee responded.
The waiter appeared, took the order, and said he’d return with it and the check shortly.
Kaylee sighed and looked as though she was on the verge of tears. “Thanks, you guys. I really didn’t know what to expect coming here, but I knew I had to.”
“Of course,” Levi said, his voice soft. “No matter what, we still love you, and I think we need to talk.”
“I agree. We have so much to say that you didn’t let us before.”
Kaylee looked down at her lap. “Sorry. I thought I was doing what was best.”
“Let’s put all that aside until we get to my place,” I suggested.
Ten minutes later, the waiter brought a to-go bag with Kaylee’s lobster roll in it and the check. I pulled out my card and while he charged it, I ordered a rideshare to take us back to my condo.
Levi held Kaylee’s hand as we exited the restaurant and once the car arrived, we slid into the backseat, Kaylee in the middle like always—or like before she broke up with us. The familiar position stirred something deep within me: longing, confusion, and a whisper of hope that maybe, just maybe, we would be three again.
As we pulled up to our building, memories hit me—our late-night conversations, laughing as we watched movies, the way we fit together in more ways than one. Now, everything felt fragmented.
We walked inside, took the elevator to our floor and then stepped inside. I noticed Kaylee hesitating at the entry as if she didn’t belong. Levi gently grabbed her hand and led her to the couch, draping a blanket over her lap. “Your hands are freezing. Let’s warm you up.”
“Thanks,” she mumbled, wrapping the fabric tighter around herself.
I went to the kitchen and took out her lobster roll. The buttery smell churned my stomach. Were we going to pretend we were okay? Get back together and act as though she hadn’t broken our hearts? Or maybe Kaylee was seeking closure and would be on the next flight out to Paris for real. Hell, maybe she was just looking for a place to stay the night.
I handed her the plate and a bottle of water. She took a small bite, chewing slowly as if savoring more than just the food. I sat across from her, my heart racing.
“So, where do we start?” I asked.
“Maybe with why you couldn’t get on the plane,” Levi suggested.
Kaylee set the roll down and looked between us, her eyes glistening. “Because the thought of not seeing you for six months or longer … possibly forever … hurt too much.”
“You broke our hearts,” I clipped, my tone sharper than intended. “You made that decision for all of us.”
“I was scared,” she admitted, her voice breaking. “Losing the baby felt like a sign. And the job in Paris—it all seemed like fate telling me we weren’t meant to be. There were so many things going on and instead of facing them head on, I chose to run away. I thought it would be easier that way, but it actually made things a hundred times worse because I felt like I was always going to wonder if things could have been different.”
I leaned forward. “We were all hurting, but we could have worked through it together. You didn’t even give us a chance to try to make it work.” Hell, when everything went down, we weren’t only dealing with the loss of the baby. Levi had his shit with his parents and there was Christmas to get through.
Kaylee wiped her tears. “I thought letting you two go would hurt less eventually. But it’s hurting so much more.”
“I don’t think any of us wanted to be apart,” I stated.
“I guess but you guys haven’t even talked about how losing the baby made you feel and I felt as though I was dealing with it all alone.”
Levi’s grip tightened. “You have to know we would have been here for you. I know Austin and I left to go to Chicago and then to deal with my parents, but you could have told us you were hurting. None of us have had to deal with a miscarriage before.”
“I didn’t get the chance before my boss said I was moving to Paris,” she said, her shoulders shaking. “I thought it would be better for everyone.”
“Better how?” I asked. “You didn’t give us a chance to try to make it work.”
Her eyes flickered with remorse. “You’re right. I felt like I was drowning in my feelings. I thought I was making the right choice. I thought leaving would be easier. But now I see how wrong I was. I can’t change what I did.”
“You were protecting yourself,” I said, trying to rein in my anger. “And now it feels like we’re strangers in our home because you hesitated to even walk in the front door.”
“I don’t want to be a stranger,” she whispered, her voice breaking again. “I miss what we had.”
“Then let’s find our way back,” Levi urged. “Just tell us what you need.”
Kaylee hesitated, tears cascading down her cheeks as she clutched the blanket. “I just want us to be together again, but maybe you don’t even want me back, but I had to try before it was really too late.”
“What about your job? Paris?” I asked.
“I’m sure I’ll be fired, so no work to worry about,” she replied, taking a deep breath.
“Do you really want to choose us over your job?” I questioned.
She nodded. “I can get another job. I can’t get another Austin and Levi.”
That hit me in my feelings, but I pressed on, masking my uncertainty. “Promise us you won’t shut us out again.”
Kaylee met my gaze. “I promise.”
Levi and I pulled her into a hug. I still wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew I wanted to try to repair our relationship. I understood why she felt the way she did and why she thought it was better to run. And while I would have done things differently, there wasn’t a reason to keep dwelling on the past because I loved her still.
“Where are your bags?” I asked as we all broke apart.
Her eyes widened. “Oh … I guess on their way to Paris.”
“That’s okay, sweetheart. You can sleep in our clothes tonight and we’ll figure all that out tomorrow,” Levi said.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “It’s getting late. Let’s hit the sack because we have morning skate early tomorrow.”
I couldn’t sleep. While Levi and Kaylee slept entangled together, I stared up at the dark ceiling. Finally, I decided to see if I could fall asleep watching something on TV. However, after sliding out of bed, I walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows and stared out at the twinkling city as I replayed the conversation from earlier in my head.
The soft padding of footsteps pulled me from my thoughts, and Kaylee appeared, wrapped in one of my old hoodies, her light brown hair tousled around her face.
“Can’t sleep?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper in the stillness of the night.
“No. Just ... thinking.” I wrapped an arm around her as we both looked out the window.
“About what?”
I hesitated for a moment. “About us. About everything.” I took a deep breath. “You really broke my heart, Kaylee. I don’t think I’ve fully processed that. I’m trying to be happy we’re back together, but?—”
“But you’re scared I’ll leave again,” she finished for me, her gaze dropping.
“Yeah,” I admitted, the weight of my fear settling heavily in my chest. “I can’t help but worry. It felt like we had lost you forever. And I just don’t want to go through that sort of pain again.”
“I’m sorry for handling it the way that I did, but I was hurting too.”
“And I’m sorry for not understanding that. Everything seemed to happen all at once and I can’t speak for Levi, but I had no clue you were hurting the way you were. I wish you would have told us.”
She looked down at the floor. “I wish I would have done that too. Maybe things would be different.”
“We can’t change the past, and I just want you to tell me—tell us —how you’re feeling. We’re guys. We don’t always know what women are thinking.” I smiled, trying to bring one to her face too.
She chuckled slightly and looked up at me with her stunning blue eyes. “I will.”
“Good.” We looked out at the city again and little flutters of snow started to fall from the inky sky.
“Austin,” she whispered after several minutes.
“Yeah, sweetness.”
“I still love you, you know.”
I turned and looked down at her, our eyes meeting again. “I still love you too.” I closed the space between us, capturing her lips with mine. The kiss was tentative at first, but it quickly deepened, igniting the passion and longing of the last several weeks.
When we finally broke apart, breathless and wide-eyed, Kaylee rested her head against my chest. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed us.”
I smiled, my heart swelling because I was feeling it too. “Me too.”
At that moment, everything felt right again, as if the pieces of our tangled lives were starting to weave back together. Hand in hand, we quietly made our way back to the bedroom, where Levi still lay asleep.
As I slipped into bed, Kaylee curled up against my side, her warmth flooding through me. Levi stirred slightly and moved closer to Kaylee as she lay between us. I wrapped my arms around both of them and we drifted off to sleep with Kaylee right where she was meant to be.