Chapter 33
Noah
“Your at-home physical therapist was here today and she was so nice.” I look questioningly at Laura, who’s my PT here at the clinic. Laura is young and nice and speaks English, and if you ask Micki, that’s the only thing that qualifies her to work with me.
However, there must be a mistake. Micki, Valérie’s father, will be responsible for all of my physical therapy and rehabilitation, and I’m glad to have someone I already know and who speaks French.
Together with Philipp and Adrien, Luca and I have decided that I’ll move in with them after my hospital stay.
Living alone isn’t an option, not even with Luca, and I don’t want to go back to my parents.
Together with Micki, they’ve already prepared Luca’s room and his parents’ gym, and I’ll be discharged tomorrow.
“Who are you talking about?”
“Mrs. Gaillard. She was here today, and we went over your therapy schedule. You’re in very good hands with her.
” I can’t help but laugh, no matter how hard I try not to, and Laura looks at me.
I raise my hands apologetically, but what started as a short chuckle is now turning into a bad laughing fit.
Micki Gaillard is quite a sight. Even in his work clothes, a polo shirt and white pants, he has such a feminine aura I can understand how this mix-up could’ve happened.
“Micki Gaillard?”
“Yes, that’s how she introduced herself. Her German is perfect by the way.” Okay, this is getting funnier and funnier, and I feel a little sorry for Laura.
“Micki is a man.”
“But… the daughter and the husband… Oh.” I’m sure if Micki was talking about Valérie, the word “daughter” definitely didn’t leave his mouth. Laura drew that conclusion herself.
“And he speaks German so well because he was born and raised in Germany. His husband is French, hence the last name.”
“It’s getting worse and worse. I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again.” Dramatically she throws her hand up to cover her beet red face.
I’m sure it’s not that bad, because Micki is cool and definitely won’t take any of this personally, but for me, it was a reason to laugh for the first time in a long while.
***
“Are you looking forward to going home?” Luca is packing up my last few things, and I already feel guilty because I can’t help him.
And it’s going to stay that way for quite a while.
Still, I’m looking forward to leaving the hospital, to moving in with Luca’s family, who has treated me so much more warmly from day one than my own family has in the last fifteen years.
Apart from wound care and help with transfers, Luca has handled all my care on his own so far, and we’ll keep it that way.
I’m glad because it’s not quite as bad as being touched by a stranger, and yet every trip to the bathroom costs a lot of effort.
That’s why I’m hoping to become more independent as soon as possible.
I won’t be able to get out of bed without help for the next four weeks, but then the cast on my left leg will come off. Until then, I need to keep all my other joints flexible so that I can at least get back on that foot quickly. The right side will be a whole different story.
Micki is optimistic he can get me back to full functionality for everyday life, but even that isn’t guaranteed.
The knee was too badly damaged for that.
And we’re talking months here—what will I do if Luca eventually realizes he doesn’t want a cripple anymore?
He still treats me like a prince, but what if…
“Hey, where’s your mind? I asked you a question.
” He gently kisses my temple. He kisses me on the mouth too, but that’s as intimate as it gets here.
You’re never alone, the door could open at any moment.
And then there are the painkillers, which, while ensuring I’m not lying in bed screaming, have put my cock into a Sleeping Beauty slumber and no, waking him up with a kiss doesn’t help. Unfortunately.
How long can Luca go without sex? Right now, he’s still laughing it off, saying he doesn’t miss it. Says he misses holding me in his arms, sleeping with me in one bed, even just sleeping in the same room as me. I have to believe him. I don’t have any other choice.
***
“Good thing you’re so small and light, or we’d really have a problem with the stairs.
” Luca carefully sets me down on the new double bed.
I don’t even want to know how much it cost, but it has all the features of a nursing bed in the design of a box spring bed.
I can even raise the legs, and Luca can still sleep right next to me as usual.
Where would I be if I weren’t so financially privileged?
“Do you need anything else?”
I don’t want to ask, but every fiber of my body smells like hospital. I don’t want to lie here in this new bed like this.
“Could we… shit, I’m giving you so much work. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I…” The first tear rolls down my cheek as Luca interrupts me.
“I know, and I’m glad you didn’t get what you meant to do. This sucks right now, but good times will come again. We just have to be patient.”
Optimism isn’t one of my strong suits, but I try to believe him and trust that he’s right. “Okay. Could we take a shower? I feel gross.”
“Absolutely, mon Papillon.”
“But you’re not going to carry me naked into the shower, are you?” Horrified, I watch as Luca pulls my boxers over my legs.
“We’ll wrap a towel around you or something, but I can’t undress you in the bathroom, you know that yourself.” I know there’s no room for shame here, and yet I’d love nothing more than to sink into the ground.
“It’s your own fault. You crashed into that tree. Be glad you’re still alive,” my mind says loud and clear. But there’s this little voice in the back of my head that isn’t so sure, that wants to quietly disagree.
My legs are wrapped in waterproof bags, and I’m sitting naked on the shower bench. Water is running over my head as Luca steps into the shower.
“What are you doing here?” I can do everything on my own, and I’m pretty proud of that.
“I wanted to be with you. Can I?” I nod, and he carefully slides between my legs, so close my face almost touches his stomach.
His erection practically jumps at me, and I don’t know what to do.
Does he want a blowjob? Do I want that? But Luca just pulls me close, my cheek against his bare belly, his hands in my hair.
“I’m so glad you’re home, mon Papillon. We’ll get through this, okay. Together. Step by step. Stay with me, don’t leave me alone.” Luca’s body is trembling, and even though I can’t see it through the stream of water and without my glasses, I’m sure he’s crying.