Chapter 15
CHAPTER
FIFTEEN
Sawyer
I pull into the school parking lot and sit in the car for a second before turning it off.
King and I still haven’t talked since our almost-kiss situation, yet here I am picking up his daughter from the principal’s office. I’d like to be able to question how I got here, but unfortunately, this is a situation of my own making.
I know the two of us need to talk. There’s so much left unsaid between us. I have feelings for Damien King, and they’re not going to go away, no matter how hard I’ve tried to ignore them.
For a moment yesterday, I was ready to tell him that. Then my stupid phone rang. I wasn’t lying when I said it was an unknown number, but it’s not too hard to assume who was calling.
My guess is it was my brother calling from someone else’s phone since I blocked his number. He probably blocked the caller ID so that I wouldn’t see the area code. Seeing that on my screen felt like getting a bucket of ice water dumped over my head.
It reminded me of why I’m here, why I need this job, and why it’s so important that I don’t fuck it up. That’s why I pulled away from our conversation yesterday. Then I saw him this morning, and the feelings were still there, stronger than ever, and well, now I don’t know what to do. Except that I need to go pick up Willow.
I sigh to myself, finally getting out of the car and walking to the front office of the school. I click the buzzer to be let inside and then walk up to the front desk.
“Hi, I’m here for Willow King,” I tell the woman behind the front desk in the school office. I look around and see colorful posters all over the blue and white walls. I don’t think I’ve been inside an elementary school since, well, I was in elementary school.
“Ah, yes. Miss Davis?” She smiles brightly up at me.
“Yup, that’s me.” I smile back as politely as I can at the overly cheerful woman.
“Great, let me just check your ID and get you checked in,” she says.
I hand her my ID, and she scans it, clicking things on her desktop for a minute before looking back up at me.
“You can follow me back to Principal Atkins’s office where Willow is already waiting for you.” She nods toward the door separating us.
I walk through the door and follow her down a long hallway, where I see Willow at the end, sitting on a bench. She looks up, a smile coming over her face when she sees me.
“Hey, your dad was working, so I came to grab you instead.” I squat down in front of her. “Everything okay? What happened?” I ask her.
The woman knocks on the closed door next to the bench where Willow’s sitting, but I ignore her, giving Willow all my attention.
“We were at recess, and this boy Jacob has the biggest crush on me and it’s so obvious, but I don’t like him.” She huffs. “Anyway, we were behind the slide with his friends, and he tried to kiss me, so I pushed him. And then he tried to kiss me again, so I kneed him in the place Dad told me to.”
“The place your dad told you to?” I raise a brow, half amused.
“You know,” she says. “His private place,” she whispers. “I think it really hurt because he started crying and yelling for my teacher, so then she sent me here.” She shrugs.
“Ms. Davis, Principal Atkins will see the two of you now,” the woman speaks up, nodding toward the now-open door.
“I didn’t mean to get in trouble. I’m sorry.” Willow sighs toward me as she stands from the bench.
“Hey, you did nothing wrong. Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” I squeeze her shoulder gently. “Come on,” I say, walking into the office with Willow following behind me.
A man who looks to be in his mid- to late-sixties stands from behind his desk, a smile that lacks any and all warmth on his face.
“Hi, you must be Ms. Davis,” he says. “I’m sorry to meet you under such unpleasant circumstances. Why don’t the two of you have a seat?” He gestures toward the two chairs opposite his desk.
The two of us sit down, and I cross my arms over my chest, waiting for him to start talking.
“So, let’s get right to it.” He laces his fingers together on the desk in front of him. “Has Willow told you about what happened?”
“She did.” I nod.
“Well, Ms. Davis, as I’m sure you know, Willow is a great kid, and we haven’t had any issues with her in the nearly six years she’s been at this school,” he says. “However, we do have a zero-tolerance policy for violence here at Westwind Elementary School.”
“Violence?” I ask. “It sounds to me like Willow was defending herself.”
“Well, regardless of the circumstances, Willow seriously injured Jacob, and that needs to have consequences. A three-day suspension should suffice,” he says.
“Hmm.” I nod, trying to remain calm. I reach into my purse, grabbing an old pair of headphones out and plugging them into my phone.
“Ms. Davis, what are you?—”
“Willow, why don’t you go ahead and listen to some music?” I say, cutting him off. “Anything you want.” I hand her my phone.
“Okay,” she says, putting the headphones in, and I look over to see her scrolling through Spotify.
“Great, now the adults can talk.” I turn my attention back to Principal Atkins. “So, a zero-tolerance policy for violence, totally get it. But I’m curious, what’s the policy for attempted sexual assault?” I fake a smile.
“Ms. Davis, these kids are ten and eleven years old, they don’t even know what sexual assault is.” He huffs.
“You’d be surprised what ten- and eleven-year-olds know these days.” I raise a brow at him. “Regardless, that boy, Jacob, tried to kiss Willow multiple times even after she had told him no. The only reason she had to resort to violence was because he continued to force himself on her.”
“Force himself is quite an exaggeration.” He fidgets, seemingly uncomfortable. “The boy has a crush and meant no harm. He’s a kid, and well, you know, boys will be boys.” He laughs it off.
“Oh okay.” I perk up, not hiding an ounce of distaste. “Well, if boys will be boys and try to kiss girls without their permission, then surely it’s okay for girls to be girls and knee them in the dick when they do.” I shrug.
“Well, that’s just?—”
“You know, now that I come to think of it, Willow probably did the world a favor,” I say. “She taught the kid a lesson on consent before he grows up and becomes much worse. But still, the boy should be punished too. So, out of curiosity, what’s his punishment?” I ask.
“Well, after speaking with Jacob’s mother, we feel that Jacob has suffered enough punishment with the injury,” he says.
“Oh, please, Willow’s like two feet tall, I’m sure the kid is fine.” I roll my eyes. “Well, alright then, I feel Willow has suffered enough mental trauma after the incident to excuse her from punishment as well.”
“Again, we have a zero-tolerance policy.” He sighs.
“Again, I don’t care.” I raise a brow at him. “Here’s how this is gonna go. I’m going to take Willow to go get some ice cream, and then tomorrow she’ll return to school as normal. If there’s an issue with that, I’m sure Willow’s father will be happy to speak with the school board.”
Principal Atkins stares at me for a moment, looking part conflicted, part terrified, before sighing. “Well, okay then. That sounds fair, I suppose.” He grits his teeth like he has to force the words out.
“Great.” I clap my hands together. “Oh, and Willow will be expecting an apology from this boy as well,” I add, standing from the chair and pulling a headphone out of one of Willow’s ears.
“You ready to go?” I ask her. “I was thinking we could go grab some ice cream,” I tell her, and her face lights up.
“It was so nice meeting you, Principal Atkins.” I turn to him one last time. “You have a great rest of your busy workday.” I give him a close-lipped smile and follow Willow out of the office before he can say another word.
We head to the front desk, and I quickly finish signing her out before we walk to the car. We’re barely out the front door of the school when she throws herself toward me, latching onto me in a hug.
“Hey, you okay?” I hug her back.
“You have really old headphones. I could still hear everything,” she says, smiling up at me.
“Well, don’t tell your dad.” I nudge her playfully. “So, ice cream?” I raise a brow at her.
“Always yes to ice cream.” She nods enthusiastically.
“Let’s go.” I laugh, wrapping my arm around her small frame and pulling her into me as we walk to the car.
Forty-five minutes and a double scoop of ice cream for each of us later, we’re getting back in the car. Willow talked a lot during ice cream, mainly about how annoying the boy at school who tried to kiss her is, but now that we’re back in the car, she’s more quiet than normal.
I don’t question it at first, turning on the radio and letting it drown out the silence. Until she lets out an overly dramatic sigh that she obviously wanted me to notice.
I lower the music as I approach a red light, looking over to catch her sneaking glances at me. She quickly looks away when she sees me looking.
“Everything okay over there?” I ask her.
“I guess so.” She sighs again.
“Mm-hmm.” I laugh under my breath. “What’s wrong?”
She’s quiet for a moment more, and I glance over at her, getting more concerned.
“Do you know why my mom left?” she asks, and my eyes widen in surprise.
“Um, wow.” I pause, not expecting the line of questioning. “Don’t you think that’s something you should ask your dad?”
“Ellie asks him sometimes, but then he gets sad,” she says. “He doesn’t say he’s sad, but I can tell because he gets all quiet and serious.”
“Well, just because it’s hard for him to talk about doesn’t mean you can’t ask,” I tell her. “I haven’t known your dad that long, but it’s pretty clear he’d do anything for you.”
“I know, but I don’t want to make him sad.” She pauses. “I don’t think I like my mom very much.”
I anxiously chew my lip, unsure of what to say to her or how to deal with the topic altogether. It doesn’t feel like something I should be talking about with her. It seems too personal.
And yet, she chose to talk to me anyway. That means something to her.
“Why do you say that?” I ask her.
“Because she left my dad and made him sad, and now he’s all alone.” She looks up at me. “And she left me and Ellie.” She looks out the window. “They asked me in the office where my mom was, and I didn’t know what to say.”
“Well, they shouldn’t have asked you that when they had all of your dad’s contact information.” I shake my head, frustrated with the office for putting Willow in this headspace. “I know it must be hard to not have a mom sometimes, but one thing that you do have, that a lot of people don’t, is an amazing dad who loves you more than life itself.”
“I know.” She nods. “It just sucks when people ask about my mom.”
“I know.” I reach over, grabbing her hand and squeezing it in mine. I may not be able to fix the problem or have any more reassuring words for her, but I can at least reassure her that I’m here for her.
She squeezes my hand back, looking up at me as I pull into a parking spot behind Blackheart Ink.
“Hey, Sawyer?” she asks.
“Yeah?” I look at her as I put the car in park.
“I think you’d be a really good mom,” she says. “I kind of wish you were mine.” She shrugs, letting go of my hand and turning to get out of the car.
I sit there for a second, letting her words sink in. It’s never something I’ve heard before or ever expected to hear. When you grow up with a mom like mine, stepping into motherly shoes isn’t anywhere on your mind. And yet, without even trying, it feels like I may have done that with Willow in barely any time at all.
I don’t know how to feel about it.
On one hand, I’m honored. But on the other hand, I feel like a fake.
I can’t be that motherly figure for her, that role model. I don’t even know if that’s something I’m capable of, and even if I was, I don’t feel worthy of it.
But then, why does my chest warm at her words?
Maybe because part of you wants to be.
I push the thought out of my mind, getting out of the car and following Willow through the backdoor of the shop. I’ve been texting him, keeping him updated, ever since I left the shop, and I had Willow call him the moment we got in the car.
By the time we walk to the front of the shop, I see King sitting in my place at the front desk, finished with his appointment. Knowing his schedule, I know that he has about an hour-and-a-half break now.
Willow runs over to King, jumping on his lap, and he easily catches her. She starts talking a mile a minute to him about what happened for the second time, since she already explained it over the phone. King just sits there intently listening, never getting annoyed or upset, and reassuring her that she did nothing wrong.
I like watching him this way. In dad mode.
Just by the look of him, you’d never guess how soft he can be with his daughters. He’s compassionate, loving, and just everything a great parent should be.
I leave them for a few minutes to have their time together, walking back to the break room to get myself some water. Sky is sitting on the couch as I walk inside, scrolling through her phone.
“Hey.” She looks up, smiling at me. “Where’d you run off to?” she asks.
“Willow had an incident at school and King was in the middle of an appointment, so I went to grab her.” I walk over to the fridge, grabbing a water bottle out of it and taking a large sip.
“Picking up the kids now, hmm.” She smirks.
“It was just a favor.” I roll my eyes. “Besides, his kids are awesome. Who wouldn’t want to hang out with them?”
“Fair point.” She nods. “But there’s definitely still something going on with you and the boss. It’s obvious.” She shrugs.
“Yeah, well.” I sigh, not denying it. “It’s confusing and probably a terrible idea. I don’t know.”
“You’re thinking too hard.” She laughs. “If there’s something there, just explore it. See what happens. You’re both adults, if it doesn’t work out, you’ll deal with it.”
“You make it sound so easy.” I raise a brow at her.
“It can be,” she says. “Trust me, when you stop overthinking everything, life can be pretty fun.”
“Mm-hmm, and who are you having fun with these days, Sky?” I ask.
“Plenty of people.” She grins, and I laugh.
“Am I interrupting?” King’s voice startles me, and I turn to see him standing in the doorway.
“Nope, not at all.” Sky jumps up from the couch. “We’ll talk later.” She winks at me before walking past King and out of the break room, leaving the two of us alone.
“Hey,” he says, rocking back and forth on his feet.
“Hey.” I laugh lightly under my breath, feeling suffocated by the tension in the air.
“So, thanks again for getting Willow.” He pauses. “And she told me what you said to the principal.”
“Little shit, of course she did.” I joke.
“For you to defend her like that, to fight for her.” He keeps going. “It means a lot, Sawyer. To her and to me.”
“It’s no big deal.” I shrug it off.
“It is,” he says.
“Well, you’re welcome, I guess.” I anxiously chew my lip into my mouth as I stare up at him.
Easy, Sky said.
Nothing about this man feels easy. That’s probably why I like him.
“So, Asher said Demi’s not working today. I’m gonna run and take Willow over to their place since I’ll be here late tonight. I’ll be back before my next appointment,” he says.
“Okay, yeah, sounds good.” I nod. “What about Ellie?” I ask, cursing myself as I do.
It’s none of my business where his other daughter is. He’s their parent, I’m just an acquaintance. Yet, here I am, asking anyway.
“She’s going to her friend’s tonight,” he says easily. “They have a project they need to work on or something.”
“Oh, okay. That’s good.” I nod awkwardly, and he looks at me inquisitively. “Well, I should get back to work. The desk probably misses me,” I joke.
I move to walk out of the break room, past him, but he gently grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks. My skin burns underneath his touch, and I swallow roughly, looking up at him.
“Maybe when I get back, or later, or whenever, we could talk?” he asks, clearly alluding to what almost happened yesterday.
“Yeah, sure.” I nod, knowing it has to happen eventually.
“Okay.” He nods, his eyes locked on mine. “Good,” he says. “I better go take Willow before my next appointment.” He lets go of my arm, and I immediately feel the loss. “I’ll see you later.”
He walks away, leaving me standing in the doorway, watching him go.
Later, he said. That’s when we’ll finally talk. Figure out what the hell is going on with us. Maybe it will be easy like Sky said. Or maybe it will be impossible.
Either way, neither of us can ignore it any longer. Because, for better or for worse, I want Damien King. In every inexplicable way.
Now, I just have to tell him.