Chapter 17 – Mason
Iwas going to hell. And I didn’t even fucking care.
Because if I was going to hell, I was dragging Leslie with me. Wherever I went, she was joining. That was non-negotiable. I’d have to buy two first class tickets, because here was the simple truth:
I’d just fucked my stepsister.
I’d taken—no—stolen her virginity from her.
And all I felt was satisfied.
I didn’t think I was at the same sociopathic levels as Jack Feldman, but I also didn’t feel any guilt over what I’d done, and that was more than mildly concerning. Still, I had zero regrets—not after fucking Leslie for hours, and certainly not now, with her safely asleep in my arms. Especially not when she let out a sigh and snuggled closer. I used to hate cuddling; with Leslie, I couldn’t get enough of her soft sweetness. It made something go tight in my chest, then release.
Mine.
Although it couldn’t be this simple. Sure, she was purring contentedly like a kitten, now, I’d just had the best sex of my life, and my balls had finally released what felt like a year’s worth of come. But when Leslie woke up and the Vixen wore off, she’d realize what I’d done. Shame would swamp her, and anger, and I could lose her when I’d finally, finally gotten a taste of her.
A lesser man would be fucking terrified of the coming fallout.
I wasn’t a lesser man.
I didn’t know how to prevent the freak out. It was valid for her to be pissed that I’d taken the decision away from her, I recognized that much. I wasn’t some dickwad who would lie to myself about whether or not I’d taken advantage of her. She hadn’t truly consented to this. She wasn’t at fault here; I was. I just didn’t care. She shouldn’t feel guilt; I couldn’t. I was incapable of it.
It was the encroaching shame she’d feel that wasn’t valid. She’d hate that she slept with her stepbrother, and I wasn’t sure how to convince her that we hadn’t done anything wrong—or at least she hadn’t. That we could be together going forward. We were adults, and only related by marriage. Whatever our parents and society thought now, they’d get over it.
Part of me wanted to kidnap her, take her away somewhere, some deserted island where it was just the two of us and no one could get to her or convince her that being with me was a bad idea.
But I couldn’t do that. For one thing, I didn’t have a deserted island. For another, Leslie was the sort of butterfly that needed light, sunshine, and other people. I’d isolated her once; I wouldn’t do it again. I didn’t know where that left us, but I knew I wasn’t letting her go.
Not a chance in hell.
I did, however, need to give her everything she could ever want to make up for my sins. She deserved that much.
I gently shook her awake. “Butterfly.”
“Mmm?” she stretched, opening her beautiful brown eyes.
“Butterfly.”
“What is it?”
“I need you to tell me something,” I murmured.
“Tell you what? I’ll tell you anything.” She giggled.
Perfect.If I was ever gonna get her to tell me something that embarassed her, it was now, blissed out on orgasms and still under the influence.
“Tell me about your most secret, shameful fantasy,” I said.
“You are,” she sighed, no pause, no hesitation, and some unfamiliar organ in my chest started to ache.
My heart.
Fuck.
I loved her.
I loved her.
Jesus fucking Christ. Of course I loved her.
She sighed again, reminding me about my mission. I could’ve stopped—I wanted to stop, to bask in her response and my realization, but I jostled her again.
“Beyond that. What’s something that makes those panties wet but also makes you think you need to talk to a priest?”
She laughed, sounding a little more coherent. “I’m Jewish, Mason. We don’t have priests. Or confession.”
“Butterfly.”
Her face colored. “Okay, I have one fantasy…that the man I’m with forces me to fuck someone else.”
I froze, and my heart no longer ached—it burned.
“Someone else?”
“Both of them, at once,” she said dreamily. “And I have no choice but to do what he says…”
I wanted to punch a hole in the wall behind the bed, but that would ruin her peace, so I made myself stay calm. After inhaling and exhaling slowly, I asked, “And would this be a regular thing? Would there be a third in the relationship?”
“Noooooo…” she blinked. “I don’t think so? No, not that.” She sounded sure, and so I relaxed—slightly. “But it would prove that he trusted me, trusted in us…and that he was so proud of me, that he realized other men would want me. He’d keep me safe, but let me have that, too…no one’s ever done anything like that for me before, and no one ever will…”
She trailed off, yawning.
“Go back to sleep,” I said.
“Okay, Daddy,” she agreed, and a moment later, she was dreaming again. Hopefully not about a second man.
Fuck.
I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t share her, no matter how much she wanted it, no matter how hot it might be. Every single cell in my body agreed. She was mine. No one else got to touch her.
But if that’s what she wanted? It was my job to make her happy.
If I could learn fucking Mulan, could I learn to share?
The comparison made me laugh, disturbing Leslie, who murmured something in her sleep.
Mine.
I wrapped her tighter in my arms, leaning my head back against the wall, and shutting my eyes, letting myself imagine a perfect world where this was my life, fucking Leslie into submission every night and filling her with my come, protecting her whispered secrets, and then holding her in my arms as we slept. And in the morning, she’d smile that brilliant smile at me, filled with devotion, trust, and love.
It would happen. I would stop at nothing to make sure it did.
Even if I worried she’d hate me when she realized what I’d done.
It didn’t takeher long.
Sunlight streamed in through her window, blinding me. Next to me, Leslie stirred beneath my arms, groaning.
“My head hurts. Why does my head hurt so much?”
“I’m sorry, butterfly,” I said, kissing her forehead. “It’s my fault. I’ll get you ibuprofen and water.”
She stilled in my arms.
“Mason?”
I stilled, too.
“Yes,” I said cautiously.
“Oh god, it wasn’t a dream.”
She sat up, swatting at my arm and wrenching away. I fisted my hands, forcing myself not to reach for her and pull her back where she was safe and undoubtedly mine. I would give her a few minutes to process.
A minute.
Fuck that. She got five seconds and then she was going right back where I wanted her.
“Mason, you can’t be here. What if someone finds us? I don’t know why I did what I did last night, I felt like I was out of my mind with lust, like I was drugged, and I fucked you and you fucked me, all night long, I gave you my virginity, and you’re my stepbrother and you hate me! God, did we even lock the door last night? What if someone knows? What if they tell our parents? Why did I do that? How could I do that?”
She was hyperventilating. Alarmed, I grabbed her hand.
“Breathe.”
She ripped it away. “I need you to go, Mason. Now. Please, I am begging you. I don’t know how this happened, but you need to leave before something… irrevocable happens.”
This time, I needed to breathe, before I got angry. Irrevocable? Like taking her virginity, fucking her without a condom, coming inside her? We’d crossed the point of no return already. I was considering sharing her, for fuck’s sake.
I took a deep breath, regulating my temper. I’d known she’d feel this way, and it was my job to calm her down, take the blame, and convince her this was right.
But first I needed to make sure she didn’t run. I pushed her down and rolled over her, lifting myself in a push up so she was trapped underneath my body. My cock, which should’ve been worn out, started hardening, reminding me we liked this position.
“I’ll tell you how this happened,” I said, gentle and easy, not wanting to spook her. “I put Vixen in your coffee yesterday morning, and it unleashed all your inner desire.”
“Vixen?” She gaped at me. “You mean that drug they’re talking about on the news? The aphrodisiac?”
“That’s the one.”
She shoved at me, but I didn’t budge. “You drugged me? How fucking dare you.”
“You’re right. But I’m not sorry. It was the only way to get us here, butterfly. Tell me, do you regret it? Truly?”
She glared at me. “You took my virginity, and I wasn’t even in my right mind. Do you really think I don’t regret it?”
Damn. I knew it had been coming, but it still stung.
I lowered myself, kissing her unwilling lips, coaxing them until she gasped and they parted for me, saying everything I couldn’t say. Not yet.
My erection strained between us as I smothered her “regret” with my affection, passion, and desire for her.
“The drug left your system hours ago,” I told her. “So then why did you kiss me back?”
“That’s not fair,’ she protested. “You like, made me imprint on you, or some shit.”
“Huh?”
“Never mind, it’s a Twilight thing,” she grumbled.
I brushed that shit off. Bella should’ve picked the werewolf kid, anyway.
“I’ll make this up to you, I promise.” For the rest of our lives, if I had to. “Starting with you staying in bed while I get you water and ibuprofen. Let me take care of you, butterfly.”
“I don’t want you to take care of me. I want you gone.”
“And I want to hold you some more,” I said easily. Or as easily as I could.
“You’re not touching me ever again.”
“That’s not what you wanted last night.”
“Well, I don’t think last night counts if I was drugged. I was out of my mind horny, I can’t be blamed for this.”
“Who the hell is talking about blame? What are you really saying here, butterfly?”
“I’m saying that this can’t happen again. And that you need to leave, now.”
“No.”
“Leave, or I call our parents.”
I couldn’t let her do that. When they found out about us, we needed to be a solid, unwavering unit, not at war. If Leslie told her mom, she’d never trust me. My father already barely trusted me. And they’d never believe we had a loving, consenting relationship—which was fair, given the current circumstances. But we would, one day.
I just needed to get her over this hurdle.
“Butterfly, you aren’t going to do that. You aren’t going to tell your mommy you fucked her darling stepson on drugs. How do you think she’ll respond?”
Leslie glared at me. It had been the wrong thing to say. “Get. Out.”
Sighing, I grabbed my jeans and t-shirt, dressing with my back to her so she couldn’t see my face. I could hear her breathing behind me, heavily. If she was crying…
She was. And when she saw me looking at her, she wiped angrily at her face.
“Leave.”
“I’m not leaving while you’re this upset,” I told her as I approached her. “It’s my job as your Daddy to see to your needs—all of them.”
“You aren’t my Daddy,” she countered.
“That’s not what you were saying last night.”
She looked at me. “Are you legitimately insane?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
She shook this off, continuing. “You drugged me last night. You. Anything I said, I wasn’t in my right mind.”
I approached her, pulling her into my arms. She resisted, but I didn’t let her, tightening my hold on her until her tears wet my shirt. “The Vixen made you out of your mind with lust, but I think you can admit it didn’t make you say anything. You called me Daddy in the stacks, remember?”
She bit me in retaliation. I laughed. I loved her fire.
But I needed her to admit to the truth, so I leaned back, lifting her chin so she had to look me in the eyes. The tears made hers sparkle, and all I wanted was to kiss her.
Focus, Mason.
“I know you’re ashamed of what happened, so you’re trying to backtrack. And you aren’t to blame for this—I accept responsibility. But you’re also ashamed because we’re stepsiblings, and that shouldn’t stop you. Let yourself want what you want without so much internal judgment. We’ll both be happier.”
She shoved me away.
“Leave. Please,” she begged. “I need to think.”
Sighing, I released her. Hovering would just make her want to push me away more. I needed to retreat and restrategize. My absence would make her miss me, force her to come to me. It was the right next step, even though I hated everything about it.
I turned toward the door, stopping to say, “It’s too late to turn back from this, butterfly. I told you last night, no take backs. You want irrevocable? This became irrevocable the moment I saw you dancing at our parents’ wedding.”
I left her staring at me, eyes round and wet. It took everything in me not to turn back, pull her into my arms, and never let her go.