Chapter 26 Adam
TWENTY-SIX
ADAM
“It’s not a failure,” Grace said, knocking her shoulder against Adam’s as they sat side by side at their bar. She took a sip of her beer. Heathens was empty, officially closed forever.
“I know,” Adam said, his heart hurting anyway. They had until the end of the month to clean out the bar and Adam’s apartment before their lease was up. He sipped his beer at eleven a.m. on a Tuesday. “It was the only option.”
“We did a good job while it lasted. Success is not measured by something lasting forever. Everything is ephemeral.” She was trying to convince herself as much as him. Heathens had held them both back over the years, but it still meant something to them.
“I want to give the Pride flag on the wall to Ron,” Adam said. He wasn’t attached to much in the bar, but Grace bought that flag for him the first June he was running this place, and he’d never taken it down.
“I love that idea.”
“Any news from Michael?”
Grace’s boyfriend was in Vegas, trying to find an apartment for the two of them.
“He found a place. Lease starts May first.”
“Closing one door, opening another. I’m proud of you.
” Grace wasn’t his kid. She had parents to raise her, and he’d never filled a father role for her.
Still, he was an older adult in her life, and even though he couldn’t tell her without probably crying, he’d loved having an excuse to spend the last ten years down in Iowa with her, watching her grow up.
“Well, I’m proud of you,” she said back, sass in her voice. They were approaching Big Feelings too quickly. It was painful enough to make the choice to shut the bar down. They were both already too close to tears.
There was a sign on the front door explaining that they were done for good. They’d had one last day with their regulars, but without Tanner or Willa, there was no staying open.
“We’ve got good stuff to look forward to,” Grace said, forcing them away from melancholy.
The night before, he’d watched Sky score his first playoff goal.
It was another loss, but according to Skylar, being down by two didn’t mean anything.
They had plenty of time to come back. Adam knew it was hard work for him to stay cool in frustrating situations, and there had been moments similar to ones that had sparked the outburst he’d gotten in trouble for.
Adam had witnessed his growth over the entire season, and he didn’t care whether Skylar won the Cup, because he was so proud of how much he’d grown.
The next morning, Adam would hop in his car and head north for Game 3. His excitement at seeing Skylar again dampened the feelings he had about Heathens. It was hard to feel defeated when he had so much hope in his chest for the future.
Adam hadn’t realized that being Skylar’s official boyfriend meant getting added to a group text.
The official Northern Lights Significant Others text thread was intimidating, but the smaller side thread he had with Skylar’s captain’s husband and his old roommate’s boyfriend was more accessible.
Ryan
You can ignore the discussion in the main thread about the playoff jackets. The ladies made them. The boys have hats. I’ll have yours for you when you get here.
Gabe
Next year I want a jacket
Ryan
Noted.
Gabe
And also another hat too
Ryan
I’ll tell Brandon he’s responsible for making the playoffs every year for the sake of your wardrobe.
Gabe
Thank you for understanding my priorities
They met at Ryan and Jackson’s house for a late lunch. The team was staying at a hotel in town to “avoid distractions,” and Adam was sad not to see Skylar before the game, but he understood the need for focus.
“I brought croissants,” Gabe said, walking into Ryan and Jackson’s house like he lived there too. Ryan’s golden retriever certainly seemed to recognize him.
“This was always the kind of hookup I was hoping for when I started playing sports,” Ryan said, taking the box of croissants from Gabe to add to their meal.
Ryan didn’t get as much breakfast-for-dinner during the season as he wanted and took every opportunity he wasn’t cooking for Jackson to indulge himself.
“Some guys have a car guy or a watch guy or a coke dealer. I have a croissant guy.”
“They’re filled with…something. Duncan didn’t specify. Duncan’s my old roommate,” Gabe told Adam as they gathered around the kitchen island. “He’s a baker.”
“That is a good hookup to have,” Adam said. “I’m not sure I could call someone up and have them produce croissants. I know a couple of guys I went to high school with who I could probably get coke from.”
“My vice is butter,” Ryan said, taking a bite of a croissant before pulling his egg bake out of the oven. He showed Gabe the inside of the croissant. “It’s blueberry something. Cream cheese? Lemon.”
Gabe and Ryan were easy to be around. Adam was used to being friendly with strangers and people he only had a bit of a loose relationship with. Adam and Ryan were roughly the same age—solidly mid-thirties—while Gabe was younger.
From the interactions Adam had already had with Ryan, and the way Sky described him, he got decidedly older-brother vibes from him.
Before they left for the game, Ryan passed out their hats, which were kelly green with yellow-and-white details embroidered on them.
There was a Lights logo on the front, Skylar’s last name embroidered in an arch above the snapback, and his number painted underneath the brim, filling the entire space.
When he was done admiring it, he looked up to see Ryan and Gabe both wearing theirs backwards, with “HARPER” and “GATLIN” on Ryan’s and Gabe’s respective foreheads. He followed suit, trailing behind Ryan and Gabe to the car with “COBURN” on his own forehead.
Playoff hockey in Minnesota was something else. The crowd, the energy, the spectacle. The significant others rarely got a box for games, but this one was special. It was the team’s first time in the playoffs in a handful of years.
The Northern Lights scored first and kept their lead the entire game. The hours passed quickly, aided by the lightness in the atmosphere that came with winning. The alcohol flowed in the box, everyone happy as the Lights pulled out their first win of the series.
Skylar drove them back to the hotel Adam was staying at, the joy from the win snuffing out the despair he was lying about not feeling after the first two games. Skylar was built to be happy. Or maybe Adam just loved seeing him like this, when he knew what the alternative was.
Skylar wasted no time when they made it to the hotel room, shoving Adam up against the closest wall to the door to kiss him, wet and filthy the way he couldn’t in front of his teammates in public. He knocked Adam’s hat off.
The two of them were having a busy month.
Long distance was eating away at them both, and it had only been a couple of months living like this.
Adam had the ache of saying goodbye to the life he’d lived for the last ten years, but getting to feel Skylar’s body against his own, hot and hard and frantic, hands gripping him like they would be torn apart otherwise, settled the ache.
He loved Heathens, but he’d never wanted Heathens the way he wanted Skylar.
Adam dragged them to bed and let Skylar choose whatever he wanted, so Adam showed Skylar’s tired thighs some mercy and rode him, doing most of the work.
“I missed you,” Skylar said when they were spent and sticky, a tangle of sheets around them. The air-conditioning kicked on, causing goose bumps to cover Adam’s arms. Skylar tried to rub them away. “I’m glad you saw a win.”
“I’m glad I got to see you play.”
“You did all right with Ryan and everyone?”
“Everyone was nice. Someone took a photo of Ryan and Gabe and me, and per the text I got from Grace, it was posted on the NHL’s Instagram.”
“Oh wow. Your hats were cute.”
“Gabe said next year he wants a jacket.”
“Jacket would be nice. I’m sure there’s plenty of gender-neutral options.” He knew they were both thinking about a year from now and them still being together. “How’s the bar sale search going?”
“About the same,” Adam said, which was only partially a lie. He’d tell Skylar after Round 1 of the playoffs. He didn’t want to bum him out now.
“You’ll find someone,” Skylar said, as confident in Adam as he was in himself. And he was right. Adam had found someone. Just not a buyer.