Chapter 39
DANIEL
“I’m fine,” Finn said as soon as I shut the door, but he let me shuffle him down the hall and into the bedroom without any protest. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and I took off his shoes, then shoved him onto his back, watching intently as he rolled onto his side and curled into a ball.
His long limbs had no right compacting themselves into such a small space, but I didn’t protest while he settled, rubbing a circle across the center of his back once he went still.
It was like a flashback to our first times together, Finn so caught up in his head it was as if nobody else was even in the room.
I supposed this was a sharp reminder that even if he’d moved on from old hurts, he still carried them.
I situated myself on the bed behind him and wrapped my arms around him, dragging his back flush with my chest. In the bathroom, the shower shut off and it wasn’t long until Sophie padded barefoot and damp into the bedroom, towel still in her hair.
“Is everything okay?”
“I’m fine,” Finn grumbled.
She crawled onto the other side of the bed and brushed his hair back from his face. “You’re a liar.”
Finn’s eyes were closed, and he exhaled dramatically.
I looked up at her and tried to tell her with my face I agreed with her, but she was quick to turn her attention back to Finn, gently stroking the edge of her nail across his temple.
It didn’t take much longer than five minutes for Finn’s breathing to level out, for the worry lines around his eyes to soften.
Slowly, I untangled myself from around him and gestured to the hallway.
Sophie nodded and dressed, following me into the dining room.
Music still played from her laptop speakers, and she turned it down low before sinking into her usual seat and stretching out her legs.
“What on earth?” she asked.
I sat down beside her and mirrored her pose until my toes pressed into the swooping curve of her arch.
“I don’t know. Hunter dropped him off and didn’t say much. Finn’s pretty much only said he’s fine, he’s fine, he’s fine.”
“Well, obviously not.” Sophie picked at her cuticle, brow furrowed. “Do you think Marshall and he got into it or something?”
I shrugged helplessly. “Maybe, because he was with Hunter. But I don’t know. He was…before. When you still lived in Portland, the first time I met him, he was like this.”
“Do you think he’s unhappy? Have we done something wrong?”
“I don’t think that’s it.”
“The wedding is so close, Danny. Like, are we including him enough? Should we tell him about our plans?”
Sophie and I had found the perfect ring for Finn weeks earlier.
It was in a black velvet box, tucked into the bottom of my underwear drawer…
waiting for the night before the wedding.
We’d wanted to surprise him with something special, but maybe it was wrong of us to keep him in the dark.
Finn had said before he was greedy and selfish, though I’d never believed it.
Maybe there was a hint of truth to the self-deprecation, an underlying need to be loved loudly at all times.
“I don’t think that’s it,” I told her. “But if he hints that it might be, then yes, we should definitely tell him.”
Sophie’s wedding dress hung in our closet, zipped up in a white cloth bag that kept the garment out of my sight.
Beside her dress hung my suit, a navy blue affair she’d picked out on my behalf—with Finn—and on the other side of the hanger a suit that would never fit me, but was perfect for the man currently restless in the bedroom.
A matching set, the three of us, so no…I didn’t think his mood had anything to do with me and her.
“I’ll make sandwiches or something,” she announced, pushing up from the table. “For when he wakes up.”
“It could be awhile.”
“Maybe.”
Sophie busied herself in the kitchen, slicing sourdough and arranging it on the cutting board before she went to the fridge.
By the time she’d finished stacking three sandwiches high with lunch meat and vegetables, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to wait for Finn to wake up to start eating.
She brought all three plates to the table and pushed mine close, jerking her chin in my direction.
“Eat,” she instructed.
I tried to wait, but my stomach growled. Sophie took such good care of me.
Of us.
“I’m going to go check on him,” she said.
I nodded, grabbing half my sandwich and smashing it down into something that would fit into my mouth.
I didn’t hear any noise from the bedroom while I chewed, so I was surprised when Sophie returned, Finn at her side.
He sank down into what had become his chair with as little noise as possible and dug into his sandwich without a word.
Sophie joined us eating, and for a while none of us said a word.
The conversation that needed to happen wasn’t something she or I could prompt, and all three of us knew it.
Finn made it through half his sandwich before he reached for a napkin, wiping his fingertips before balling up the paper and tossing it into the center of the table.
“I am fine,” he said, sounding like it was almost true. “I was out with Hunter…out with Hunter and ran into Neil.”
My heart sank like a stone into the pit of my stomach, the food I’d barely finished chewing threatening to come right back up and out. Sophie opened her mouth and closed it, eyeing Finn warily as he stared at the wooden fruit bowl in the center of the table.
“He…he said they’re divorced for real. He told me he missed me.”
Sophie worried her lips together, gently asking, “Do you miss him?”
“No,” he said quickly. “I don’t.”
“That’s good.”
He sucked his tongue across the front of his teeth and glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “I told him about you. About both of you.”
“How did that go?” she asked.
“I don’t know and I frankly don’t care. It’s just…” Finn’s jaw clicked and he scrubbed a hand down his face. “I didn’t realize I was still carrying all these feelings until Hunter and I were back in the car, and then it was like a dam broke.”
He sniffled, shook his head.
A single tear leaked from the corner of his eye, but Finn was quick to swipe it into oblivion.
“I didn’t expect it is all,” he went on. “I don’t think I ever really…I didn’t get over things with them well.”
“I know,” I said, reaching over and setting my hand on his thigh. He grabbed it and squeezed, and I wished more than anything Sophie and I could go back in time and save Finn from the heartache that couple had caused him, but I also knew if we did that, he wouldn’t be suited to be with us now.
To be with us for the rest of our lives.
“I don’t think he’s a horrible person, but he treated me horribly,” Finn kept speaking. “He used me—they both did. I wanted to be sure you two weren’t…that’s unfair. There’s no comparison.”
“It’s okay,” Sophie said.
“It was just a shock.” Finn dropped his head back, stared at the ceiling and took a fortifying breath. “I’m better now.”
“Are you?”
He looked at me, sharp and earnest, even with his glassy eyes. “Every day.”
I swallowed hard, overwhelmed.
“And,” he said with a small smile, “I finally found your wedding present.”
Sophie made a disgruntled noise. “You better not have gotten us anything. You’re present enough.”
“That feels lazy. I couldn’t very well say happy wedding day, use me for your pleasure as you see fit.”
Sophie’s cheeks flushed and she arched a brow. “Why not?”
Finn leaned forward, my hand still caught in a death grip.
“That’s a Tuesday,” he told her.
A laugh caught in her throat and she leaned back. “Finish your sandwich.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he teased, only letting go of me to do as he’d been told.
The three of us finished our late lunch, and Finn stacked the plates when we finished and brought them into the kitchen.
Sophie and I shared a look while he cleaned, an unspoken question trying to decide how best to move forward with the rest of the day.
I believed Finn when he said any emotion over Neil had been pent up and left over, and I believed him when he said he was okay, but that didn’t mean I wanted to rush something and send that truth into jeopardy.
Finn finished the dishes and turned, ass resting against the counter and dish towel damp in his hands.
“I can have Hunter come pick me up if you want, or you can take me to my car.”
“Why would you go?” Sophie asked.
Finn studied her, chest heaving on an inhale. “I didn’t know if the two of you had plans.”
“We didn’t.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not,” she said, just as quickly.
“We can watch a movie.” I stood and went to Finn at the sink, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing a kiss against his chin. “We can go to the beach. We can go shopping.”
“I’ve had enough shopping for the day,” he muttered, casually flinging one arm around my shoulders.
He gestured for Sophie with his free hand, tapping his fingers against his thumb until she got up and joined us.
He tucked her against himself, against me, and we both breathed in the candied fruit scent of her shampoo.
“What do you want to do?” she asked him.
“I want to not be babied.” He kissed the top of her head.
“Then go wash your face.” Sophie’s elbow knocked into me as she pinched Finn’s ribs. “You look like you’ve been crying.”
Finn yelped and shoved both of us away, rubbing at the spot just above his hip where she’d gotten him.
“Well, maybe a little babied,” he corrected with a laugh.
Sophie ushered him down the hallway toward the bathroom, the two of them laughing as they went.
I collapsed onto the couch, the earlier adrenaline rush of Finn’s uncertain arrival wearing off.
I listened to the quiet murmur of their voices, hinging my body in half and resting my elbows on my knees.
Even with my head between my legs, my stomach roiled.
And then Finn was there, his hand in the middle of my back, fingers tracing down my bent arm. He sat down on the floor at my feet, skin smelling like face wash…the air like Sophie’s perfume.
“Hey,” he whispered, brushing his fingertips across my cheek. “Hey.”
“I’m fine,” I told him.
He made a derisive sound in the back of his throat. “If I can’t lie, neither can you.”
The couch sank as Sophie sat down beside me, hooking one arm over my back and resting her cheek against the outside of my shoulder.
“I thought we might have lost you,” I admitted, hating the way every syllable caught in my throat like it was barbed.
“Not that easy,” he whispered, shaking his head.
Finn nudged himself against me until he was cross-legged on the floor between my legs. I had to sit up to make room for him, but before I could straighten my back entirely, he grabbed my face and hauled me down toward him again.
“Not that easy,” he said again, tracing his thumbs across my cheeks. “I love you, okay?”
“I know. I love you too. We both love you.”
Sophie grabbed Finn’s forearm and squeezed.
“I’m sorry,” Finn said.
“For what?”
“All of this.”
I shook my head, and so did Sophie.
“Having feelings isn’t wrong,” she told him.
“Feels like it sometimes.”
He kissed me, then. It was a soft and fleeting press of his lips against the corner of my mouth and it was everything.
“Why don’t we go to the beach,” Finn suggested. “I can’t surf well, but Andrew dragged me out last time I was in my head and the salt definitely helped. We can just relax. See where the day takes us.”
I nodded, and he kissed me again.
Then Sophie turned my face toward her and she kissed me too.
She kissed Finn, and I ignored the heat that burned in my gut at the sight of the two of them together. How was it possible to love two people so much and not die from it? I wasn’t sure I would ever know.
“The beach sounds good,” I grumbled.
“Don’t make me twist your arm over it,” Finn teased, helping me to my feet. We both paused, a tentative and fraught silence in the very small space between us.
My mouth went dry, tongue stuck to the backs of my teeth.
“I’m fine,” he promised me. “Better than.”
“I’m better than too,” I whispered.
Sophie slapped both of our asses, kickstarting us toward the hallway.
It took over an hour to get out of the house, a small detour to the bed after Sophie made too much of a show about taking off her bra.
But by the time the three of us were sated and in the car, everything we’d said earlier had been made true.