Chapter 19 Duncan
DUNCAN
“Mr. Rourke,” Mary says from the dining room doorway. “Miss Montgomery hasn’t spent the night in her room. I thought you might want to know. I believe she may appreciate you checking on her this morning.”
At Mary’s words, the fork drops from my hand, clattering against the table. I’ve been holding it aimlessly for the past half hour, unable to touch my food. I haven’t taken a sip of my coffee either.
My mind’s been too wrapped up in Elowyn.
Since she stormed out of my gallery last night, naked and crying, I’ve been a mess.
The look on her face after I insinuated that she didn’t love me. That she was only here for the money. The anguish in her voice.
It’s branded into my memory. How wrong I’ve been. How I hurt her.
There’s no getting it out.
And it’s not like I stopped there. When she was brutally honest, laid her heart bare, what did I do? Threw accusation after accusation in her face.
What makes it worse is remembering I demanded honesty while holding onto a secret myself.
To top it all off, I gave her the space she asked for. Didn’t chase.
Didn’t prove how much she mattered.
No. I’ve been respectful.
Slept in my bed alone. Woke up alone. Showered alone.
Put on my damn jeans and T-shirt, determined to spend the entire day in my studio…
Alone.
When, according to Mary, Elowyn has needed me.
White-hot rage bubbles inside me. Bile rises.
I’m a fucking idiot.
After the first time we slept together, I let Elowyn leave with my insult hanging between us.
She deserves better.
As for me, I deserve worse. For punishing Elowyn. For assuming. For every-fucking-thing.
I’m still taking her.
Like it or not, we’re all we’ve got.
“Where is she?” I get up, forgetting about my breakfast, my coffee, and the promise to give Elowyn space. My chair scrapes back, making Mary jump. “Where is she?”
“If I may, I…” Her voice is motherly, as she’s being protective of Elowyn. My heart would’ve warmed if I weren’t so goddamn worried. “Please be gentle with her.”
“I will.” I’ve never screamed at Mary. Ever. But so help me, if she doesn’t answer, today will be the day I do it. “Where?”
“I checked the cameras when I couldn’t find her this morning.” Wringing her hands, she whispers, “The gallery. She seems to have spent the night there.”
Mary barely finishes the sentence, and I’m already making a beeline toward the stairs.
“Mr. Rourke, remember,” Mary calls behind me.
Without turning around, I mutter, “I’ll be gentle,” and mean it.
The rage I can’t turn off has nothing to do with Elowyn anymore.
It’s all me. If I’d been less of an asshole, she would’ve come to my bed last night.
From now on, she will.
This fucked-up distance, this mess, it ends today. I’ll be as honest and as compassionate as she’s been with me, and that’s a promise.
Elowyn could hate me for what I’ve done. She could try to run off and tell me she’ll never fuck, love, and eventually marry a killer.
It wouldn’t change a goddamn thing.
Mine.
On the second floor, I make a detour into my studio, heading straight for the locked antique dresser at the back. The two gold bangles and the silk ribbon I got for Elowyn are in my grip within seconds, then I’m out.
What I’m about to do isn’t a punishment like I intended back then.
This is me, binding us together, the only way I know how.
Through touch.
The door to the gallery opens with a muted whoosh. The room answers with silence.
Except it isn’t really silent when Elowyn’s presence fills every corner of the gallery. She’s welcoming me inside, even while she’s asleep on the pedestal, curled into herself.
The sight of her hits me square in the chest.
How could it not?
Morning light spills across her small frame, dust motes drifting lazily around her. Thick lashes rest against flushed cheeks. Her hair is a mess of dirty blonde locks, a few of them slipping over the edge of the pedestal.
Her lips are lightly parted, an invitation I’ll accept soon. After I confess everything, I’ll strip the silk robe she’s wearing and kiss her hard on the lips. From her mouth, I’ll move to her neck, her breasts, that sweet valley between her thighs.
With each step I take, the pressure on my lungs intensifies. The lust fades as remorse lashes in, harder than it did ten minutes ago.
It’s like I’m being crushed under the weight of my regret.
What was I thinking, hurting this angel?
You weren’t. But you’ll fix this mess. You’ll make sure to spend the rest of your life making up for the past decade.
“Elowyn,” I whisper from my place by the pedestal. “Hey.”
Still as a statue.
Heart in my throat, I crouch down, place the bangles on the floor, then tuck the ribbon into my jeans.
“Little moon.” With one hand, I cup her cheek. The other, I stroke her hair. Soft, she’s so soft everywhere. “Time to wake up.”
Unable to resist, I press my lips to hers. Only then does she stir.
Gray, soulful eyes lock onto mine. Hope flickers first, then confusion, and finally suspicion tightens her gaze. “Duncan.”
“Hey.”
Out of all the questions or accusations she could’ve voiced, she ends up saying, “I needed to be here.”
“Nothing’s wrong with that.”
“Okay,” she sighs, shifting just enough for her cheek to rest fully in my palm.
Lead lines the pit of my stomach, knowing what comes next. My confession.
I stand and guide her into a sitting position. My attention catches that yawn she’s trying to hide, noting how sweet it is.
But it’s not the time for warmth. Later, it will be.
“Actually, I’m glad you’re here,” I say once she’s settled, her palms in her lap.
“You are?” Elowyn looks at me as I push the robe down her shoulders. “It’s early.”
Not midnight, she means. Not punishment hour.
A growl rumbles in my chest. If I could kick my own ass, I would.
“No more scheduled meetings. If you want to see me, day or night, I’m yours.” My eyes move over her body, taking in her naked skin despite the unease stirring inside me. “What I meant before is, we have things to discuss.”
Needing the robe completely off, I lean in. When goose bumps rise along her arms, I groan, the sound possessive. I put them there. I turn Elowyn on.
She’s mine.
“I’ve had time to think, and I don’t want to fight anymore.
” Her confession comes out fast. Her hands rest gently on my shoulders as she lifts her hips, helping me slide the robe free before I let it fall to the floor.
“What happened doesn’t matter if we have each other, right?
Can we agree that we both made mistakes and start over? Just be happy?”
My head snaps up. It happens so fast that my forehead misses her chin by an inch. “No.”
No, I need you to hear me out. No, I need you to understand, then forgive me for what I did.
“In that case…I’ll start. I’m pretty sure I figured out most of what happened on my own.
” Instead of sitting again, she steps onto the platform.
Naked, exposed, and somehow regal, she lets her hand rest on my jaw.
“It was my brother. Barclay lied to me and to everyone else about why you disappeared. It had to be him. He’s the one who chased you away. ”
While I listen, I metaphorically shackle her to me.
One bangle goes around the right hand, then the left. When I’m done, I curl my hands around her wrists, my thumb running circles over them, grazing the bangles too.
“What are these for?” Her pulse flutters beneath my fingertips.
“You’ve been spot on so far.” Ignoring the question, I lift her and set her back into a seated position on the pedestal, adjusting her hands until she’s leaning back. “Keep talking.”
She’s braced on her hands, back arched, breasts I’m dying to taste pushed forward.
The curious look in her eyes is what makes me truly feral.
“Keep.” I place my hands on her knees and spread her legs. Seeing how wet she is, a jolt of electricity locks my teeth. How she’s still swollen from yesterday. “Talking.”
“You wouldn’t have just left without so much as a goodbye. I get it now.”
My heated stare and my kneeling before her have Elowyn rocking her hips on the pedestal.
When I grumble low in my chest, she catches herself and stops.
That doesn’t disappoint me in the slightest. Even when she doesn’t try to fuck the air, she’s gorgeous. Fucking perfect.
I’m barely hanging on as is.
“And…” She twists her lips. “Whatever happened that night had to do with what the two of you had been up to.”
“Getting closer.” Sneaking an arm around her back, I press my palm between her shoulder blades as I guide her down. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”
Her elbows bend as she lets me lower her back onto the pedestal. At that quiet show of trust, unexpected warmth curls around my heart, tugging tight.
Slowly, inch by inch, the surface meets her back, until she’s fully supported beneath my palm.
Once she’s settled, I slide my hand out from under her. I hold her hands, reveling in the tremors raking through her body.
You’re stalling again.
“Something did happen that night.” I catch both her wrists in one grip. The bangles are cool and solid against my fingers. “I’m going to tell you what.”
“Please.” It’s impossible to miss the hunger flashing in her eyes, despite the difficult conversation. My touch makes her nipples pull into little tempting peeks. Her pupils are blown. “But first, you need to forgive me.”
“No, Elowyn.” I hover over her, leaving my girl nowhere to look but up at me. “I’ll be the one begging for your forgiveness first.”
Both of us are breathing hard as I guide her hands up and over her head.
She gulps, her throat working. “I already forgave you.”
“You can’t forgive me for something you don’t fully know. And that’s on me. I’m the reason you don’t have the whole picture. You were right to demand a conversation.” A quiet, humorless laugh slips out. “We can’t just move on without it, no matter how much it’s going to hurt to dig up the past.”
“What did you do?”
I would answer, but the way she licks her lips. She has no idea what she does to me, how she turns me into a beast.