15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
Roman
It was no wonder Dr. Sharma had been voted the best in the city. She had a calm, self-assuredness that immediately put me at ease. Even better, Shira appeared comfortable with her, smiling and answering questions willingly.
I’d done a lot of reading and had come into this appointment with an idea of what to expect. For the most part, there were no surprises, yet all of it took me off guard. There was a vast difference between reading about a pregnancy in theory and being a part of the reality.
From my chair in the corner, I listened to Shira and Dr. Sharma talk about how she was feeling. Then Shira laid down and the doctor measured the height of her uterus, assuring us both everything was moving along as it should. All normal and expected, but with each passing moment, my blood heated to an intense level, becoming loud inside my ears, pumping through my body like raging rapids. My fingers flexed on my knees, and it took a concerted effort not to grind my molars.
I had accepted this was happening about a minute after I became aware of it, but the realness was slamming into me hard and fast. In a few short months, I would have a child. I’d be a dad. That was a massive mindfuck, and I had no one to talk to about it with. My brothers were my closest friends, but none were anywhere near parenthood and wouldn’t come close to understanding.
In a perfect world, I’d discuss these things with the person going through them with me, but I doubted Shira wanted to hear about my momentary panic after my treatment of her. Not to mention, she was the one carrying my child and had been sick as a dog for months. I doubted she’d feel too sympathetic toward me. Rightly so.
Dr. Sharma wheeled her stool to the side to catch my eye. “Normally, at this appointment, we use the Doppler to check the heartbeat, but since you missed out on seeing the ultrasound last time, I thought we could take a quick peek. Are you up for it, Dad?”
Holy hell.
My fingertips dug hard into my thighs as I nodded. “That would be incredible.”
I pushed up on shaky legs to stand beside Shira. She shot me a smile before biting into her bottom lip. Was she nervous about the ultrasound, or was I making her feel that way?
If Ben were here, he would have asked her, but I had more respect for people’s private thoughts. That wasn’t to say I would have objected too much if he’d charmed an answer from her.
When Dr. Sharma brought the small wand to Shira’s stomach, I followed it with my eyes, taking in the shape of her abdomen. An outsider wouldn’t have known she was pregnant, but I saw the faintest curve below her belly button that hadn’t been there before.
Then the surrealness of this situation multiplied by a thousand. Dr. Sharma showed us our bouncing, wiggling, kicking baby. It had grown so much since Shira’s last scan, now less gummy bear and more human-shaped.
The doctor did some measurements and clicked her tongue. “You’re measuring a little bit ahead, but nothing to be alarmed about.” She flicked her gaze to me then smiled at Shira. “Now that I’ve seen the father, I can see why that might be the case.”
“Maybe this baby will have a chance at being average height thanks to Roman’s DNA,” Shira joked.
“I suspect above average.” Dr. Sharma moved the wand to the side of Shira’s abdomen and paused. “Were you planning on finding out the sex?”
Shira turned to me. “I was thinking yes. What about you?”
“Whatever you want,” I replied. And I meant it. There were only two options, and I didn’t have a preference.
“We’ll be finding out,” Shira told her doctor. “It might take us the rest of my pregnancy to agree on a name.”
The doctor chuckled and clicked a few things on the machine. “I don’t typically make sex pronouncements at this gestational age, but you have a little exhibitionist on your hands. I can tell you if you’re ready.”
My heart stopped beating. Just like that, it had forgotten it was required to do its job in order for me to survive. Speaking was out of the question, but I managed to force my head to loll in an obscene semblance of a nod.
“Yes, please,” Shira whispered.
On instinct, my hand moved to wrap around hers. After a beat, her fingers curled into mine. The way we got here might’ve been nontraditional, but holding her hand while finding this out felt right.
The doctor zoomed in on the still image and pointed out a darker area with a smirk. “That is, undoubtedly, a penis. Congrats, parents, you’re having a boy.”
A breath burst out of Shira, followed by a soft giggle. “A boy. Whoa.” She looked up at me. Her eyes were the opposite of haunted now, shining with life and light. “A boy, Roman.”
A boy. I hope he has his mother’s eyes. He’d be lucky if he did.
I shook my head and squeezed her hand. “I want to say I’m surprised, but I don’t think the Wells family makes anything other than boys.”
That got another laugh from her. “You might be right.”
The elevator ride downstairs was quiet, but as we headed toward the exit of the building, Shira touched my arm.
“By the way, I’m moving tomorrow. I’ll be next door to Bea. She’s promised to help me with Mary’s litter, so you’re off the hook.”
“Wait. Slow down. You’re moving?” Taking her by the elbow, I drew her to the side of the glass doors. “You’re moving tomorrow? Is this…this is sudden.”
“It’s not that sudden. The house is too big for me, and I’m far from my friends. They’re my only support system, so when Bea told me the house next to hers had been put on the market, I snatched it up.”
“Where?” My question came out more gruff than intended. Shira’s flinch proved that, but I felt like I’d been given a pop quiz everyone else in my class knew was coming. Behind and confused, I was doing my damnedest to catch up. “Where are you moving?”
“It’s a row home right on the edge of RiNo. Three bedrooms, everything’s been updated, and there’s the cutest little picket fence in the front yard.”
“River North?” A vein pulsed in my temple. “I’m not sure that’s the safest—”
“Bea’s lived there for two years and loves it.” Shira's interruption was soft yet inarguably firm. “It’s the first place I’ll truly be able to call my own. I have a feeling Beanie, Mary, and I are going to love living there.”
I mulled this news over, not at all happy about it, though I couldn’t pinpoint why. I’d have to read crime reports for the area, though I doubted it would change Shira’s decision.
“They’re not your only support system,” I stated.
Her brow furrowed in confusion. “I don’t have family, Roman, so, yes, they are.”
“Shira,” I sighed, “I’m talking about me. I’m your support system. And you’re moving across the city from me.”
“Oh.” She looked down at her feet, her hair spilling over her shoulders in ebony waves. I didn’t know why she’d always worn it up in the office, but I was relieved she’d stopped. Hair like hers deserved to freely flow, catching the light when she moved, caressing her skin when—
“Roman—” I jerked back to awareness. Christ, had I really gotten lost in thoughts of Shira’s hair? “—I’ve known Bea and Clara for years, and I’m comfortable counting on them. I appreciate you helping me the past few weeks, but that doesn’t mean I expect it to continue. I’m not sick anymore, and I can feed myself, you know. It’s okay.”
“It’s not a hardship at all.” I tucked my hands in my trouser pockets so she wouldn’t see them balling into fists. Something was being taken from me—something I hadn’t realized was important until I’d felt the loss. I didn’t like it, but there wasn’t much I could do. This was Shira’s show right now. I was just a spectator. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but I had to choke it down.
“I’ll let you know if I need your help with anything.” Her fingers grazed my arm. “I promise.”
“What about moving? I’m assuming you have movers doing the lifting, but do you need help unpacking, putting furniture together, hanging pictures—the kinds of things you absolutely shouldn’t be doing?”
Her smile was almost dreamlike and so soft it blurred at the edges. “Clara’s boyfriend, Jake, and his brother are pitching in. If I know my friends, they won’t allow me to lift a finger.”
“As it should be.” I rocked back on my heels, supremely dissatisfied but out of hands to play. “Well, if there’s no other news, I have to get back to the office.”
“There’s nothing else.” Shira was doing her best to look me in the eye, and I was doing my worst to make it easy on her. Not on purpose. Never that. But I’d lost control of my frown, and it had carved itself onto my face of its own volition. “I guess I’ll see you at my next appointment.”
“Yes.” My jaw was so rigid it was in danger of snapping. “I’ll see you then.”
That hadn’t gone how I’d expected. I should have been pleased not to have to fight a feral cat in a pink bow every day, but I wasn’t. Truthfully, Mary had been starting to soften toward me, and I’d thought I’d made inroads with her mother too.
Obviously, I’d been wrong.
Ben and Nate had made themselves at home in my living room, stuffing their faces with Peruvian chicken while a rugby game blasted from the TV. Technically, this was Ben’s home since he’d moved in one day without asking and didn’t seem inclined to go anywhere.
I sagged onto the sectional, grabbing the remote to turn the volume down so I could hear the thoughts in my head.
“Did you save anything for me?” I asked.
Nate nudged a box sitting on the coffee table toward me with his toe. “Get on that before Benny makes it disappear.”
I sifted through the chicken, but I didn’t have much of an appetite. Since leaving the doctor’s office hours earlier, my gut had been churning, and something felt incredibly off.
When I sat back without taking any chicken, Ben raised a brow. “Not hungry?”
“Not really.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I went to Shira’s appointment today. Got to see the baby.”
Ben paused, chicken poised beside his mouth. “Oh yeah? Did you get any new pics?”
I slipped the images from my shirt pocket and passed them to my brothers. They both studied the images, though I wasn’t sure they knew what they were seeing in most of them.
“Huh.” Nate studied the image that looked like a little baby being cradled, his brow puckered in concentration. “This is cool as hell. Our niece or nephew is just kicked back and relaxed in there.”
Ben took it from Nate, giving it equal attention. “I doubt any relative of ours is chilling. Kid’s probably taking a rest after bouncing off the walls.”
I stole the ultrasound picture from Ben and carefully tucked it away. “He has Shira as a mother. As far as I can tell, she’s as low-key as they come, so there’s a chance.”
“You said ‘he,’” Nate pointed out. “Something you want to tell us?”
“We found out it’s a boy.”
Ben shot to his feet, his hands on his hips. “Holy shit. Are you kidding me? We’re having a boy?” He threw his hands up. “We’re having a boy ! How fucking cool is that?”
I laughed, warmth swelling inside me. There hadn’t been a moment for me to really soak in this news. I’d gone from Shira’s whirlwind announcement back to the office, which was a battlefield these days. But with my brothers grinning like crazy, I felt it click into place. I was having a son. Another Wells boy to add to our pack. That thought filled me with anticipation for the future and a moment of pure, unadulterated joy.
“It’s really fucking cool,” I said.
Nate leaned over, giving my shoulder a squeeze. “Congrats, Ro. That’s awesome. We actually know how to deal with boys, so we’ve got you covered.”
Ben’s head tipped back as he laughed. “Of course you’re having a boy. The Wells only make boys.”
“That’s what I said.” The knot in my gut unfurled. No matter what else had happened, this had been a good day. “The doc says the baby is measuring big. Said it’s my fault.”
Ben slammed down beside me, slinging his arm around my shoulders. “Again, that’s no surprise.”
“You’re a behemoth. How could you not have behemoth children?” Nate poked.
“He’s half Shira’s, and she’s tiny. I’d be surprised if she was even five feet tall.” I scrubbed at my jaw, suddenly worried. “Shit, what if this kid’s too big for her?”
“I wouldn’t worry about it.” Ben gave me a shake. “Our mother managed to carry the two of us, and she wasn’t exactly made of hardy stock.”
“Mom is almost six feet,” Nate reminded him.
“I don’t mean physically,” Ben replied. “Our mom doesn’t like challenges. When the going got tough in our family, she skedaddled. Makes me think her pregnancies couldn’t have been too much of a hardship since she kept doing it.”
“Shira isn’t anything like our mom.” That woman got bored of parenting when our cuteness began to fade. From the time the first of us hit puberty, she became a dragonfly in our lives, fluttering around over us and occasionally landing, but never for long. I didn’t know Shira well, but I was certain she would never be that kind of mother. Or friend. Or person in general.
“Exactly.” Ben got up again, grabbing a piece of chicken. “That’s what I’m saying. She’ll be fine.”
“This is a happy occasion. Why are we talking about our mother?” Nate groused. “If I never think about her again, it’ll be too soon.”
“Thank you. I’d like to think of anything but her.” I leaned forward, my fingers steepled between my knees. “Shira told me she’s moving across town and doesn’t need me to do the litter box thing anymore.”
“Did you tell her you didn’t mind doing it?” Ben asked.
I turned to him. “What makes you think I don’t mind?”
Nate chuffed. “Please. You’re constantly looking up food to bring to her and buying toys for her psycho cat.”
“Mary isn’t psycho.” From the shocked looks on my brothers’ faces, I’d defended her a little too effusively. “Okay, she’s sort of crazy, but we were developing an understanding. I don’t mind not being the one to clean up her shit, though.”
Ben lowered his chin and raised his brows. “Really? Do you even believe what you just said?”
I let out a humorless laugh. “You think I like cleaning up after a cat who wants to eat my face?”
Nate laughed. “Yeah, sounds like you’re developing a real deep understanding.”
Ben got serious—a rarity for him. “I don’t think you are especially into that aspect, but I know you, Ro. You’re a caretaker. The last few weeks, you’ve been in your element coming up with ways to take care of Shira. I know you as well as I know myself. You can’t be happy at having that taken away.”
I let out a heavy sigh. This was the reason my gut had been so damn unsettled today. I’d been relegated to the outside, and that wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wasn’t carrying the baby, but I needed to be an active participant, and going to doctor appointments every few weeks wasn’t enough.
“You’re right.” I squeezed my eyes shut, pressing the heel of my hand into my socket to relieve some tension. “She doesn’t need my help, though. And now she’ll be on the other side of the city, making it harder than it should be to stop by. Naturally, that has my mind spinning to when he’s here and having to figure out how to carve out time to be with my son. Christ—” I gnashed my molars to keep myself from spinning out. I wasn’t much of an anxious person, but control was important to me, and I had less than none in this situation.
“No need to get your panties in a bunch,” Ben pronounced. “Move closer to her.”
I dropped my hand and stared at him. “That’s ludicrous.”
“Not really,” Nate stated, giving me pause. He was the most practical of my brothers. “It makes sense, honestly.”
I swiveled my head between them, stopping on Ben. “I sense ulterior motives. Do you want me out of this place so you can live here on your own?”
He raised both hands. “Nah, not me. Chances are, I’ll follow you wherever you go. You know I don’t like living alone.”
My eyes narrowed. “And if you’re not invited?”
He chuckled. “Have I ever needed an invitation?”
I shook my head. “This is crazy. I can’t just move. I don’t know why we’re talking about it. I have a life here. I’m close to my offices…no. Out of the question.”
Nate tsked. “Never say never, Ro.”
Moving wouldn’t be happening. As for the rest? I’d have to figure it out. Sitting on my hands, however, wasn’t an option for me. Shira would be getting my help, whether she liked it or not.