17. Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Seventeen
Roman
What?
What?
WHAT?!
Five letters. All at pivotal times in my life. Frank Goldman and I hadn’t been pen pals, but we’d exchanged important words—words I’d taken and used to guide me on my next steps. And now… what?
“I’m sorry,” Shira rushed out. “The first time you wrote to him, I showed him the letter, but he was busy and asked me to reply for him. He just wanted me to send his condolences, but I felt…I couldn’t leave it at that. You seemed lost, and so was I, I guess. My mother had died a few months before, and Frank had been there for me, so I decided to channel him a little and be there for you.”
… take it from someone who knows, there’s nowhere you can run that it won’t follow.
“You wrote to me?” A heavy exhale fled my lungs as I fell back in my chair. “I should’ve known. You sent flowers when I got injured. The letter you wrote…”
Roman,
I’m sorry to hear about your injury and the possible end to your rugby career. From what I read, you were dynamite on the field, and the game will be worse for your absence.
Do you remember what I told you the first time I wrote you? You can walk a hundred paths in your lifetime. If this one is coming to an end, that doesn’t mean it’s the end of your dreams. You’ll get up, walk down a new path, and find the next dream.
Take time to heal and grieve if you need to. This isn’t what you planned, and that is a painful reality. It’s all right to be down, but don’t stay down. Feel this in full then put it away. Don’t let your grief keep you under.
You will have a beautiful life. Lean on those brothers of yours. Your relationships with them are your true wealth. Most people don’t have that. You may not feel lucky now, but in many ways you are.
I look forward to your next move.
Frank Goldman
“I’m really sorry for deceiving you. I just couldn’t let your letters go unanswered, and I didn’t think you’d want to hear from a random girl you didn’t know.” Shira pinched her bottom lip hard, her clear eyes imploring and back to being haunted.
I stared at her for a long time, her delicate fingers dancing on her lips, the subtle flush in her cheeks, her dark brows dipping with anxiety over her light eyes, and wondered how I ever could have been mean to her. No matter what I thought of her marriage to Frank, a man I now knew was little more than a stranger to me, Shira was exactly who she presented herself to be. Soft-spoken and kind, shy and flutteringly nervous. She might’ve been deceptive, but it had been out of kindness and compassion.
I should have been angry. I’d charged in to save GoldMed when Frank Goldman hadn’t actually given a single shit about me. That would sting once it settled in. I knew that. But when it came down to it, I couldn’t find it in me to be bothered that it had been Shira who’d cared. In fact, I was going to leave here tonight and reread those letters with her velvety soft voice in my head.
The tremble in her bottom lip brought me to a stop. My insides froze as her eyes welled until sheer panic took over my muscles, shooting me out of my seat. I was around the table in two steps and had her out of her chair in one tug. Then my arms went around her, tucking her against my chest.
“You can’t cry,” I barked, too sharply for the situation, but damn if her tears didn’t make me feel like a madman. If I could have taken them one by one in my fist and shattered them into vapor, I would have. Instead, I hugged her. She’d liked it the last time.
“I was trying hard not to,” she mumbled into my shirt. “It’s just…the hormones…and the way you were looking at me—I’m really sorry, Roman.”
“You’re forgiven.” I cupped the back of her head, keeping her in place. “Just don’t cry, okay? I can’t stand it—especially not when I’m the one who made you do it.”
Sniffling, she pushed against me. I was of the mind to resist, but in the end, I let her go. She stepped away, wiping the few tears that had slipped free with the back of her hand.
“I can’t promise that’s the last time I’ll do it.” She patted her stomach, which was frustratingly hidden behind her loose sweater. “I’m not a crier, but this guy seems to have turned me into one.”
I pulled her chair out and nodded toward it. “I made you cry, but I’m not going to let you go hungry. Sit, eat the slice of pizza you didn’t ruin, and I’ll get you another one.”
She complied, and I stood over her until she took a big bite, satisfaction sliding through me. Nate had been accurate in his assessment of me. I was a caretaker. I could admit it. Ensuring Shira was fed and taken care of was as much for me as it was for her.
“My father’s death was sudden.” Shira looked up from her pizza, her brows raised. I continued. “He worked himself to death. He wasn’t a terrible father, but he didn’t really know what to do with four boys on his own, so he became an absent one. Once I got older and had a mind for business, he related to me. We’d been starting to get close when he died. It had been a massive blow. I’d been reeling, wondering what the hell the point was to following in his footsteps if he wasn’t there to be proud of me. I don’t know why I wrote to Frank…except I’d needed something and had been reaching out blindly.”
“And you found me,” she said softly.
“I guess I did.” I crumbled my napkin in my fist. “What about your mom—was it sudden?”
She shook her head. “She was sick for a couple years but refused to go to the doctor until it became unavoidable. The cancer had spread everywhere. We’d known it was coming, but I think death is always sudden. One moment, your person is here, and the next, they’re gone and you’re alone in the world. That’s how it was for me anyway.”
“Until Frank.”
Her mouth curved into a slight smile. “I guess I reached out blindly too, and found him.”
I had thoughts about Shira being a twenty-year-old bride, but I kept them to myself. She wouldn’t appreciate me talking about her late husband, and I wasn’t in any position to ruffle her feathers.
We finished our dinner, and I sent her into the living room while I cleaned up. She tried to tell me I didn’t know where everything went, but I ignored her, stacking the dishwasher while she retreated to the couch. Since the first floor was open, I felt her watching me, but I’d done dishes more than a few times in my life. I wasn’t too worried I was doing it wrong.
Once everything was put away, I joined her on her alarmingly small couch. It looked like it had been made in a different era when people were smaller. I wasn’t sure it would hold me up.
“Did you pick this out?” I asked as the sofa creaked under me.
“I did. It didn’t make that sound when I sat on it.”
Raising my brows, I looked her up and down. “I’m more than double your size. My brothers are too. Put two of us on this thing and we’ll make matchsticks out of it. We’re going to have to upgrade to something sturdier.”
“Your brothers are going to be sitting on my couch?”
“You don’t know them yet, but we’re tight, and they’re going to be excited to be uncles. So, yes, they will be sitting on your couch when Beanie’s here because they’ll want to be with him too.”
Her eyes widened with alarm as she glanced at her doll-size furniture. “I didn’t think of that. I don’t have family. It didn’t occur to me that your family…okay…well, I guess I’ll find something to accommodate a crew of giants.”
I huffed a laugh. “Good idea. I’d offer to buy it, but I don’t think you’ll accept.”
“You’re right. I won’t.”
I grinned. “Glad we understand each other.” However, I had every intention of leaving here tonight and buying a bed for the guest room as well as a replacement sofa suitable for full-size people. She’d just have to accept it was what I needed to do.
“Now, we’re going to play a getting-to-know-you game. Where’s your wallet?”
Her brow crinkled. “Um…in my purse, which is in the closet.”
I hopped up as gingerly as possible and grabbed her purse out of the hall closet. Returning, I set it on the cushion between us and withdrew my wallet from my back pocket.
“I looked up icebreaker ideas last night,” I explained. “One was trading wallets. You look through mine. I look through yours. What do you think?”
Her nose twitched. “I think you came prepared for this game while I’m being blindsided.”
“True, but I swear I didn’t remove or add anything to my wallet. And you can blindside me next time. Trade?”
One beat of hesitation, then she fished her wallet from her purse and tossed it into my lap. I handed her mine. This wasn’t the most exciting game, but I thought it might be the easiest for Shira.
I waited until she unfolded my wallet and peered inside before turning my attention to hers. It was a bifold, mustard- yellow leather, which already surprised me. Shira’s clothes were normally so muted while her wallet was bright. Maybe this was her true story.
Inside, there were two credit cards and a bank card. Membership cards to a gym, grocery store, and the library. The picture on her license gave me pause.
The motor vehicle worker must’ve liked Shira. I had never seen lighting that looked like it belonged on a photo shoot. Her dark hair tumbled over her shoulders and framed her face in soft waves. Her glossed lips were tipped in a smile that looked genuine. Her eyes were dancing with mirth.
I held out her license. “What were you laughing at?”
Shira looked up from my wallet. “Oh, um…Connie was hyping me up. She made me take my hair down and was telling me I should have been in a shampoo commercial. It was very sweet.”
“Connie? You remember her name?” She’d been issued the license two years ago.
“Of course,” she replied simply, holding out my license. “Why do you look like you’re about to bite off the head of the next person who speaks to you?”
“That’s what most people look like after spending any amount of time in the Department of Motor Vehicles. Most of us don’t have our own personal hype woman.”
Her cheeks flamed bright pink as she returned to sifting through the contents of my wallet. I let the subject be, curious what else I’d find.
She had thirty dollars in cash plus coins. A receipt from a convenience store where she bought a chocolate bar and a Sprite. I made a mental note of that. Then I landed on a worn, square photo of a man I didn’t recognize. Definitely not her late husband.
“Who’s this?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied.
“You don’t know? He’s not an old boyfriend?”
Her laughter was a rebuke in itself. “Not even close. It’s silly.”
“I doubt it. Tell me about it.”
She rubbed her lips together then sighed. “I found that picture on the floor of a post office when I was nine or ten. My mom told me it was a passport photo. I thought the guy was cute, so I kept it. Then I started making up stories about where he might’ve been going with his new passport. I’ve carried it with me ever since. I like to think of all the adventures he’s been on over the last twenty years. I hope he’s had a nice life.”
“That’s…” I was at a loss for words.
“I told you, it’s silly. It’s sort of become a hobby of mine. I pick up things people drop, like receipts, business cards, invitations, that kind of thing, and make up stories in my head about them. This picture is the only thing I’ve saved, though.”
Her fingers were fast, but I didn’t miss her shoving back the condom I kept in my wallet as habit.
“It’s probably expired.”
Her eyes shot up to mine. “For a man who recently had a condom mishap, you’re living on the edge.”
I chuckled, enjoying how easily Shira surprised me. “I’ve carried one in my wallet since I was a teenager. Most expired before they were used.”
“Okay,” she murmured, slapping my wallet shut. “I’m done snooping.”
“All right. Think I am too.”
She yawned so big her eyes squeezed closed. I took that as my cue. Tucking her wallet back in her purse, I returned it to the closet. By the time I came back to the living room, Shira was on her feet, hands hidden in the sleeves of her sweater.
“I’m going to head out.” I reached out, tugging a loose tendril of her hair. “You look like you’re dead on your feet. Get some rest.”
“I will. Thanks for the pizza, Roman.”
I looked down at her, my gut souring at the idea of this delicate woman sleeping in this house all on her own. Since she’d been alone in her last house, it was completely irrational, but I’d been less than five minutes away then. Now, we had a whole city between us, and it didn’t sit well with me. Not at all.
“If you need anything at any time, call me,” I ordered gruffly.
Shira shrank slightly but nodded. “Okay.”
“I need a key.”
“ What ?”
“I don’t want off the hook, Shira. You moved, but nothing’s changed. I’m going to be here every morning to deal with the litter and bring you breakfast.”
Her eyes flared, and her hands twisted her sleeves. “That’s not necessary. Truly. I have Bea, and it’s too far for you to come every day.”
“Let me be concerned with the distance. I need to do this.”
“Need?”
I nodded. “Need.”
She worried her lip for several seconds before spinning away to fetch me a key. I slipped it in my pocket and headed for the door. My arms started to lift to give her another hug, but she wasn’t crying so I didn’t think she’d welcome it.
Not yet.
Giving her hair another gentle tug, I walked out the door. The moment I heard the lock click into place, I found the nearest trash can, took out my wallet, and tossed the unneeded condom into it.
It took exactly one minute to hear from Shira after I ordered her new furniture. I found myself grinning when her name popped up on my phone.
Shira: Why did you just send me a receipt for a bed and couch?
Me: So you know to expect a delivery.
Shira: ROMAN…why?
I could almost hear her soft, exasperated voice.
Me: They’re more for me than you. It only makes sense for me to be the one to buy them. If they’re not to your taste, you can exchange them. I won’t be offended.
Shira: Well, I’m offended you paid for my furniture!
Me: Are you really?
Shira: I’m huffing right now.
I could almost hear that too. My grin widened.
Ben swatted the back of my head as he passed me in the kitchen. “What are you smiling about?”
I held up my phone. “Shira.”
His brow winged. “Oh yeah?”
Ignoring him, I tapped out a text.
Me: But are you offended?
Shira: Fine. No, I’m not. Thank you for being so generous.
Me: No need to thank me, Goldie. I like making sure you have everything you need.
Ben cracked open a can of sparkling water and leaned against the counter. “Must be some conversation.”
“She’s funny.” I left it at that because that was all it was.
“Don’t wanna say I told you so…”
“Then don’t.”
Shira: You can’t stop me from thanking you.
Me: Okay, I accept. You’re welcome. Give Mary a scratch and tell her it’s from me.
Shira: She says, “Rrrreeeooow.”
That cat was definitely going to be the death of me. And sooner rather than later.
Me: I’m suspicious. What is she planning?
Shira: You’ll have to wait and see. Goodnight, Roman.
Me: Night, Goldie.
The smile stayed on my face long after our conversation ended.