Chapter 14
It was Monday morning. After looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror one last time, Beth turned off the flashlight she kept on the counter and headed into her bedroom.
There, she grabbed her sweater, put on her tennis shoes, and picked up her purse.
At long last, she was ready. Unfortunately, she felt no sense of accomplishment .
. . because she was going to be late for work.
She hated that. She’d been an on-time girl all her life. Heaven knew she’d nagged Jonny to get out of bed and get into the shower almost every single morning in high school.
Running against the clock didn’t feel comfortable at all. But . . . maybe if she skipped her morning cup of coffee, grabbed a granola bar from her stash in the back of the pantry, and walked along Main Street instead of meandering through back fields, she wouldn’t be too late.
Yep, if she did all of those things—and didn’t veer off track for even a minute—there was a good chance she’d probably walk in the front door of Walden Wax Works at six minutes after nine.
And, sure. Any minute after nine o’clock was technically late.
It wasn’t anything to be proud of, but it wasn’t horrible.
Plus, if Junior said anything, she had a lot of good excuses in her arsenal.
She could blame the traffic on the roads.
Her grandmother needing her to do something unexpected.
Or her pregnancy. Junior would never fuss if she said that was her reason.
Or, Beth could go the teasing route, and remind Junior that he had said that he ran a relaxed office. Didn’t that also mean she had relaxed start and stop times, too?
Feeling better about spending most of the morning battling an unwelcome dose of morning sickness with a side of laziness, Beth entered the kitchen. “Gut matin, Mommi.”
“Good morning to you, child. Come sit down. I made you a nice bowl of oatmeal.”
Brown, soggy, warm oatmeal? She did her best not to grimace. “Well, ah . . . that’s so nice of you, but I’m running late.”
Her grandmother pulled out a chair and pointed to it. “If you’re running late, then you’d best get started on your meal. Ain’t so?” Before Beth could reply, she bustled to the kitchen counter. “Sit, sit. I’ll pour you a cup of coffee and a glass of juice.”
“Thanks, but I’m just going to get a granola bar.”
“No, you are not. I heard how upset your stomach was this morning. It’s obvious that you need to get something of sustenance inside of you.” She tapped a foot. “Sit, child.”
“Heard” meant that her grandmother had overheard her losing her stomach contents through the thin walls of the house.
Even though she hadn’t been able to help it, Beth still felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment.
On its heels was the reminder that this way of plain speaking was as part of her grandmother’s makeup as getting up with the sun in the morning.
“I’m sorry you heard me, but I really do have to leave.”
“If you had sat down when I asked you to, you’d already be halfway done with your meal. Sit down, Elizabeth.”
“Elizabeth?”
The barest hint of a smile appeared on her dear grandmother’s face. “It suits you, Beth.”
There it was again. The reminder that Junior Lambright— who steadfastly seemed to only go by his nickname—preferred her given name.
Even more perplexing was the way she didn’t mind him using it, either.
Glancing at the clock on the kitchen wall, she winced. It was already nine. Figuring there was nothing to do about it now, she sat down at last. With a sense of foreboding, she took a tentative sip of the coffee her grandmother had just placed in front of her.
To her surprise, it tasted good.
Mommi stepped closer. “So far so good, dear?”
“Jah. I . . . think I’m good now.”
“Of course. Now eat up.”
She closed her eyes and quietly said a quick prayer of thanks. Then, picking up her spoon, she took an experimental bite of the oatmeal. To her surprise, it hadn’t gotten too cold. It also tasted delicious. “Did you mix in cinnamon?”
“To be sure I did. I added brown sugar and cream, too.”
“Cream?” Wasn’t that, like a thousand calories?”
“It’s good for your babe. Stop fussing and eat, child.”
Doing what her grandmother wanted at last, Beth pushed all thoughts away about weight gain, time clocks, and upset stomachs and focused on the present—which was that she did have much to be thankful for.
“Mommi, if I wasn’t living here with you, I would have been in the real-estate office for two hours.
And, I probably would have been stressing about work right now with only a granola bar in my stomach. ”
“Umph. This is better, I think.”
She smiled up at her. “I think so, too. I appreciate you, Grandma.”
Mommi patted the top of her head before sitting in a chair across from her. “Beth, I have something to share with you.”
“Yes?”
“Back when you, Martin, Jonny, and Kelsey drove up to this house and then told Dawdi and I that you four were thinking about becoming Amish, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.”
“I get the laughing part. It did have to sound outlandish. But cry? Were you two that upset with us?”
“Not with you. Your situation.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Bethy, all we could think was that the four of you must have been very unhappy with Matt and Helen. That you all must have been might unhappy with your lives if you were thinking to leave it all behind.”
“I never thought about it like that.”
“We worried about each of you something awful.”
“I’m sorry. I do know that holding our hands through all of this has been challenging.”
“It has been challenging, but the Lord sure knew what He was doing, ain’t so?” she mused. “Here Kelsey, Jonny, and Martin all found what they were looking for. They were meant to be here. And now I believe He has big plans for you, too.”
She didn’t know about that. In contrast to her little sister, her life was a scrambled mess.
But she wasn’t the only one. “Mamm, I know Jonny and Kelsey are happy, but I don’t think Martin is settled yet.”
“I believe otherwise.”
“But he doesn’t want to be Amish.”
“I know.”
She figured she might as well throw it all out there. “And he doesn’t want to admit it, but I’m pretty sure he is in love with Patti.”
Her grandmother smiled. “I think the same thing.”
Feeling like Mommi still wasn’t grasping the complete situation, Beth added, “That means that they aren’t going to work out. While me, Kelsey, and Jonny are happy, Martin is going to get his heart broken. Patti, too.”
“What I know, Elizabeth, is that Martin isn’t the only person in that relationship who needs to make some decisions.”
“You’re talking about Patti?”
After taking a sip of coffee, Mommi nodded. “I am. She’s stronger than Martin believes.”
Beth smiled. “You really feel that they have a chance, don’t you?”
She shrugged. “It’s not up to me, of course, but the Lord did give me a fine set of eyes. I can see what is going on.”
“Maybe it’s just Martin and Patti who are blind.”
“Perhaps.” She looked down at Beth’s empty bowl. “And it looks like you are now ready for work. Would you like me to hitch up the buggy and take you?”
“Thank you for the offer, but no. It will be faster if I walk, and the exercise will do me good. I just have to hope that Junior doesn’t get too upset with me for being late.”
“I will hope and pray that he doesn’t.” Walking to the refrigerator, she pulled out a darling insulated lunch box from the bottom shelf. “Here is your lunch. Don’t forget to eat it.”
“I won’t.”
“Off you go, then.”
Quickly, Beth donned her coat, grabbed her purse and lunch box, and then kissed her grandmother’s cheek. “I love you, Mommi.”
“I know.” She opened the door. “Walk carefully now.”
The moment Beth was outside, her grandmother shut the door. No doubt her mind was already on the dishes, the laundry, and everything else she did to keep her house and yard spotless and well organized.
Beth sighed. She didn’t know if she was ever going to be that good at domestic chores, but she figured there was room for improvement. She didn’t dislike housework; she’d just never taken the time to focus on it much.
In that way she took after her mother, Beth realized.
As if her mother had read her mind, the phone rang.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Beth, I’m so glad that I got hold of you.”
“Why? Is something wrong?”
“With me? Of course not. I was thinking of you, sweetheart. How are you feeling?’
“Pretty good.”
Worry entered her tone. “Uh oh. What’s going on?”
“Nothing too exciting. I, um, just had an upset stomach this morning when I woke up. I had hoped I was done with that.”
“Pregnancy is a funny thing, isn’t it? It’s like your body has a mind of its own.”
Her mother’s comment took her off guard, which was a mistake, she reckoned.
Over the last few years they’d grown apart and while some of her other siblings had spent time with her at least once a month, Beth never had.
She’d told everyone it was because she was so busy.
She’d worked with clients who were either buying or selling million-dollar homes.
The majority of them had been both needy and demanding, and she’d been only too happy to cater to their every whim.
But the other, more personal reason for her distance from her mom was that she was still harboring resentment about how her mom had placed her own needs in front of her kids’ needs and wants after the divorce.
Because of that, Beth had stepped into the role of mother for Kelsey and Jonny.
She’d been the one they went to when something was wrong.
Or they had a school project. Or they just wanted someone to hang out with.
She’d loved being needed, but there had also been plenty of times when she’d been forced to give up her plans in order to see to the needs of Jonny or Kels.
Now, though, Beth was wondering if maybe she’d been too hard on her mother all this time. “I guess you would know about all the changes that go on during pregnancy.”
“I’m afraid I do. If you are experiencing anything odd, chances are pretty good that I’ve experienced it, too.”
“Even heartburn?”
“Yep.”
“Headaches?”
“I’m afraid so, dear. Each pregnancy was unique.” She chuckled. “With Martin, all I wanted to eat was baked potatoes, but with Jonny, the only thing that would make me happy was Graeter’s ice cream.”
“What? The fancy ice cream from Cincinnati?”
“The one and only. Near the end of Jonny’s pregnancy, I was miserable.
I had three toddlers and your father’s career had gone into hyperdrive.
The only thing that made me happy was chocolate chocolate chip ice cream from Graeter’s.
Your father got so tired of hearing me whine about it, he called up the store and had them ship us six pints in dry ice. ”
“Dad did that?”
“He sure did. Of course, it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. It was either take care of my ice-cream addiction or take care of three toddlers while I cried.”
She not only couldn’t imagine her mother crying over lost ice cream, but even thinking about her father coddling her mother was strange. “Mom, I had no idea.”
“Why would you?”
“But still . . .”
“I didn’t like talking about all that after Dad and me got divorced. And, well, I never wanted you kids to think that I didn’t want you.”
“You just wanted to feel better.”
“Exactly.”
“Mom, I can’t believe you went through it four times.”
“Those were some crazy years, to be sure. But good ones. I have a feeling you’ll look back on these days the same way.”
“Do you really think so?” She hated to feel so vulnerable, but she was aching for reassurance.
“Beth, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t feel like myself.”
“Is it because your body is changing? Because that’s normal, Bethy.”
“No. Because I’m not really working and I’m not in love. I’m not near in love.”
“I have a feeling if Kelsey called and said such things, you’d have some good advice for her.”
“Maybe. But Kelsey is fine.” And happily married to Richard, who adored her.
Her mother didn’t say anything for a few seconds. “Beth, honey, I’m going to tell you something, but I feel like I should tell you first that you are welcome to ignore any advice I try to offer.”
“What, Mom?”
“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you can’t change the past.”
Against her will, Beth felt defensive. And maybe a little scornful? “What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing secretive, dear. Only that it’s easy to feel regret about a bad decision, or something you said when you were upset, or even a mistake that you’re having to live with the consequences about. And I’m not going to say that isn’t hard. Sometimes life really is hard.”
She paused, then added softly, “But no matter how hard you pray or wish that you had done or said something differently, you can’t go backwards.”
“You think I should stop beating myself up about getting pregnant, don’t you?”
“I think you are excited about being a mother. And I, for one, believe that you are going to be an exceptional mother. Perhaps it’s time you focused on that?”
“That’s good advice. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Hey, Mom?”
“Hmm?”
“Would you come down here sometime?”
“To see you?”
Admitting that felt a little weak. “Yes. Or to see Jonny and Kelsey and Martin.”
“If you’d like to see me in Walden, all you have to do is ask, Beth.”
“Would you come down soon?”
“I’d love to. Let me look at the calendar and text some dates.”
“Thanks.”
“No, thank you, honey.” She inhaled a shaky breath. “This phone call meant a lot to me. I appreciate it.”
“It meant a lot to me, too. Love you. Bye.”
“Love you back, Beth. Bye.”
When only silence filled her ear, Beth felt tears in her eyes. Maybe she was crying because she was hormonal. Or maybe it was because she’d just had the conversation with her mother that she’d never known she needed.
Whatever the reason, a ten-minute phone call had put her to rights and made her feel as if she was ready for anything.
Even her new job.