Chapter 18
Not only would Beth have never imagined that her mother would visit her in Walden, she really never would have imagined that her mother would be staying at Mommi and Dawdi’s haus.
Sylvia and Josiah Schrock were not Helen Schrock’s parents.
They were her in-laws. Technically, they were her former in-laws, and as far as any of the kids knew, Mom hadn’t seen them in years.
Then there was the fact that her mother had never spoken the least bit fondly about the homestead. Though Beth did remember the six of them visiting her grandparents, it didn’t happen often. She didn’t remember her mother being all that comfortable, though.
But maybe she had been? After all, her mom had been raised Amish, too.
Not for the first time, Beth wondered if her childish perception had been skewed.
Maybe her mother had been happy there. Had other things been going on in her parents’ lives that she hadn’t been aware of?
It stood to reason, but for some reason it made her feel a little guilty.
Like maybe she’d held on to so many slights and hurt feelings when she’d actually been the one who had been in the wrong.
But none of that mattered now.
Not when Beth was standing on the front porch next to her grandparents as her mother easily pulled her Cadillac into the driveway near the barn. After she parked, she tapped something on her phone.
Glad for the few seconds reprieve, Beth glanced at Mommi and Dawdi. They were smiling. “I still can’t get over the fact that you two knew Mom was coming here before I did.”
“Now, I don’t think that’s completely true,” Dawdi said. “Helen told us that she’d already discussed this visit with ya.”
“She asked if I minded if she came,” Beth corrected.
“And?”
“And . . . I told her I’d be glad to see her.” When Mommi raised her eyebrows, Beth snorted under her breath. “All I’m saying is that it would have been nice to have been included in the final details.”
“Not sure why,” Mommi murmured.
“Ah. She’s getting out now. Go on down and help your mother, Bethy,” Dawdi said.
She started forward, but almost gasped when she saw the trunk pop open and her mother pull out a suitcase. Turning back to her grandparents, she whispered, “Did you know she was staying here?”
“Of course, child,” Mommi replied. “I invited Helen to stay a spell.”
“You just called her out of the blue?”
“Nee, dear. She called us.” She lowered her voice. “Now, stop stalling and go.”
Beth hurried toward her mom, who was putting away her cell phone in her purse. “Hi, Mom!”
Her mother’s smile seemed frozen for a brief moment. But then her entire body seemed to relax. “Beth, look at you. You look so . . .”
“Pregnant?”
She chuckled. “Yes, but it’s more than that. You look at peace,” she said as she pulled Beth into a hug. “Boy, I’ve missed you.”
Her mother’s slim body and signature perfume felt familiar. Not homey, but good. So did her pleased expression. “I’ll take looking like I’m at peace.”
“You should. It’s a good thing. You look beautiful, too.”
She chuckled. “You always say that.”
“That’s because it’s always true.” Still gazing at her from head to toe, her mother said, “When I first saw you, I felt like I was going back in time. You look so much like a teacher I used to have at the Amish school.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment?”
“Of course. Miss Janie was a super teacher. One of the prettiest women in the community, too. Just like you.”
“Thank you, Mom.”
“Wait here. I have some things for you. For all the kids, actually.”
“Want some help?”
“Not yet.”
Her mother had been adopted as a baby by an older couple.
They’d long since passed. Though her mother never had gone so far as to say that she hadn’t been close to her adoptive parents, she rarely mentioned them.
Well, not beyond her saying that her parents had been taskmasters and not very affectionate.
Beth had always been sad about that, though her mother had shrugged it off. She’d found a lot of love in her neighbors, friends, and Dad, of course.
Once her mother had all of her gifts organized in two large canvas tote bags, she walked to Beth’s side. “Could you take in my suitcase?”
“Of course.” Pulling on the handle, she started walking to the house. “So you really are staying here?” She probably sounded as skeptical as she felt, but what could she do? She’d never imagined that her mother would be visiting Walden for more than a few hours.
“I really am, Bethy,” she teased. “And stop worrying.”
“I’m not worried.” Much.
“Everything will be fine. I promise. When I called Sylvia to ask if she’d mind if I visited you here, she invited me to stay for a few days. It sounded so perfect, I couldn’t say no.”
“I’m kind of surprised you were good with that. They don’t have electricity, you know.”
“Oh, honey. Of course they don’t. I haven’t forgotten that.”
“You’ll be okay without the internet and plugs? Dad had to move to a hotel so he could get some work done.”
“Well,I didn’t come here to work. I came here to see my kids. Plus, I brought some books. I’ll be fine.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re staying. We’ll get to see a lot more of each other.”
Looking pleased, her mother said, “I was thinking the same thing.”
“Helen, wilcom!” Mommi said. “It’s been far too long.”
“Danke. And jah. Too many years have passed indeed.” When Dawdi reached out to take one of the bags, he grinned at her. “It’s nice to know some things never change, Helen. You never could travel lightly.”
“Obviously I still can’t,” she said with a chuckle. “But don’t be too hard on me. In my defense, everything in these bags are gifts.”
“We have plenty of room, Helen,” Mommi said. “Our haus is your haus.”
In short order, the four of them got the three suitcases into the house.
Looking around at the entryway, with the smell of lemon oil and vanilla candles surrounding them, her mother breathed deep. “I’ve always loved this smell. I think I feel more relaxed already. Sylvia, Josiah, thanks again for letting me stay.”
“It ain’t a problem. Plus, you need to be close to Bethy,” Dawdi said.
Reaching out, Mom ran a hand down her back. “This is true.”
“Beth and I prepared some snacks,” Mommi said. “We can sit at the kitchen table.”
“That sounds wonderful. I came hungry. Let me run upstairs and freshen up.”
“I’ll carry your bag upstairs, Helen,” Dawdi said.
“Thanks. I’ll be down soon.”
Mommi shrugged. “Take your time. Would you like water or coffee or both?”
“Both?”
“I’ll have it ready. Come along, Beth.”
After watching her mother follow Dawdi up the stairs, Beth hurried after Mommi to put out everything that her grandmother had arranged on plates early that morning.
“Do you feel better now?” her grandmother asked.
“Yes. She seems to be okay, doesn’t she?”
“Your visit is going to be fine. Just because you and your mother haven’t always been best friends, there’s still love there. Focus on that, jah?”
Beth exhaled. “Yes.”
True to her word, the conversation around the table after her mother returned was easy and relaxed. Her mom caught up with Josiah and Sylvia, and ate a heaping plate of the cheese, crackers, chicken salad, and fruit that Mommi and Beth had set out.
After about an hour, her grandparents left. They’d claimed that they needed to check on something in the barn, but Beth knew it was a flimsy excuse.
“I guess Mommi and Dawdi decided that we needed some time alone,” Beth said.
“I agree. They weren’t very subtle, were they?”
“I don’t think they know how to be.”
“I dare say you’re right.” After walking to the percolator on the stove and filling her cup, her mother’s stance seemed to ease. “How are you doing, really?”
Thinking about Junior and her new not-job, Beth said, “Good.”
“You’re feeling all right?”
“I am. With the exception of a few lightheaded moments and a couple of bouts of nausea, I really only just feel big.”
“That’s to be expected.”
“I know I’ve told you this many times, but I can’t believe you went through four pregnancies.”
“It was fun. I wanted a big family. Plus, your father helped a lot. It was only when we got older that things changed.”
That was putting it mildly. But she didn’t want to go there. Not during the first hour of her visit. “Do the others know that you’re here?”
“They do. I called and left messages with everyone last night. All three of them called me while I was driving here.”
“They didn’t tell me.”
“I asked them not to.”
“Why?”
“I feel like I have a little bit more work to do with you than with the others. I guess I’m treading lightly.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I know you looked out for Kelsey and Jonny a lot when you were growing up. I should’ve done better after the divorce.”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s not going to change the past and it probably doesn’t even matter.”
“It does matter. I should have tried to do more motherly things with you all instead of dating so much.”
“You were still around, Mom.”
“I could have been more present.”
Remembering those days, Beth realized that while their mother might have been hurting from the divorce and wanted to go out with her friends a lot, she’d also done a lot for her kids.
She’d still cooked and cleaned and done their laundry and helped them get what they needed for school.
Did she hang out in the evenings with them and watch shows?
No. But the four of them had. And because the four of them had each other, they’d been okay.
“Mom, we’re all fine now.”
Her mother studied her face for a long moment. “You’re right. All of you are fine now. Better than fine.” She stood up. “What do you think about us working on these dishes?”
“That sounds good.”
Walking to the sink with a handful of plates, her mother said, “I’m glad I came to stay for a few days.”
“Me, too.” She meant it, too.
“If your grandmother doesn’t make liver, everything is going to be just fine.”
“I think she knows better than to feed that to me,” Beth joked.
When her mother started giggling, she felt the last of her worries float away. A lot of things might be at loose ends with her mother, but they still loved each other.
That was a good place to start.