Chapter 12
TWELVE
4 Days til Christmas
Sleeping with a man was a very new thing for me. The number of times I’d had sleepovers with the men I’d dated were far and few between. Especially since being on the road with my brother.
Hooking up with Q’s crew was out of the question.
The first year I’d been stupid enough to get involved with a man who had been sent from Ripper Records to assist me. All the time together in the weird little bubble that the crew became on a tour had felt a little like this snowstorm. A moment out of time. A little bit of reality would slip in, and I’d start wondering what I was doing, but then I’d get sucked back into the moment.
Into the parties, and the fun. Into the glitz and the glamour of designers wanting me to wear their clothes because I’d be next to Quentin. They wanted to make sponsored material on Quentin’s social media. Robbie would encourage all of it, because it increased his clout.
He was more worried about how people could elevate his status in Ripper and that meant using me to get to parties and to sign on up-and-coming singers who wanted to be in Q’s orbit. The fame monster grew and multiplied, once it was moving.
Even without Q chasing any of it.
And Robbie—through me—hung onto it and never wanted to let go. Which meant he used slick, sweet words to keep me on the hook. His job was to learn how a tour worked, not the parties. Not the darker side of the parties I avoided. Robbie lived for the fun, not the work.
I had to keep reminding myself that just because we were having fun didn’t mean I was going to lose myself again. That I was going to be as stupid as I’d been all those years ago.
I’d barred myself from relationships after Robbie.Hudson was nothing like Robbie—in all the best ways.
He didn’t deserve to even be mentioned in the same breath as that clout chaser.
“You’re going to make me get up, aren’t you?” A rumbling voice asked behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder. “Is there an alarm clock I wasn’t aware of?” Speaking of alarms, I didn’t even know where my damn phone was.
“Then why isn’t that spectacular ass cuddled back against me?”
“You’re just looking for someone to take care of that morning wood.”
He scooped me back against him. “I mean, fair. I do love being with you. But no... it’s not just to dip my wick, Ocean.” He turned me in his arms. “I hope I don’t make you feel that way.”
I sighed. “No. I’m just not used to trusting being...” Happy ? Made me sound like a freaking headcase.
He pushed my hair back away from my face. “I can try to find my way out of here if you want. I’m sure they have to be cleaning the roads.”
“No, I don’t want that.” I buried my face in his chest. “I’m sorry. I hate my brain sometimes. I’m a problem solver, but that also means I sometimes look for problems.”
Hudson smoothed a hand down my back. I’d stolen one of his black undershirts to sleep in. “I get that. And my job is very similar. Also, I look for ways to make sure my communication is very clear. And I know that we keep getting distracted with sex. Maybe we try to do everything except sex today.”
I lifted my head and stared into his eyes. “What?”
“I know. I can’t believe I said it, either.” He frowned. “Too late to retract?”
“I mean...kinda.”
“I’m an idiot,” he muttered.
“Though we do have to start rationing our condoms.” I slid out of bed and went to the window behind our— my bed. “Because we aren’t going anywhere.”
He sat up. “Hell.”
The snow was still raging, and the clouds over the lake seemed to be even more ominous today somehow. I grabbed the oversized cardigan I wore like a robe more often than not. My emotional support sweater, if you will. It was a ratty oatmeal color, but I loved it. “I’m going to grab my phone. I think it’s downstairs.”
“Grab some cookies,” he called after me.
I shook my head as I hurried down the hall. I grabbed both of our phones and stuffed them in my pocket, then I made a pit stop in the kitchen for a couple cookies and a blueberry muffin from the cupboard stash. The coffee maker lured me, but I didn’t want to wait for it to brew.
Instead, I snagged two of the canned coffees from my grocery run. I lived on the stupid things when I was on the road. I should be sick of them, but the quick shot of espresso and chocolate-infused coffee was my lifeblood at this point. I squirreled all of it in my oversized pockets and rushed back upstairs. It was freaking chilly.
When I got back to my room, Hudson was stoking a fire. His ridiculously muscled body on display save for another pair of the body-skimming boxer briefs. This time, The Grinch was grinning from his tight little butt cheek.
I couldn’t stop the giggle.
He turned and the cartoon face was right over his bulge in the front which made me laugh all the more. He looked down, then he shrugged. “Blame my brother for the boxers. Callum’s wife is obsessed with this brand and gave all of us a membership for boxers of the month.”
I crossed the room to him and slid my fingers over the material. “It is pretty soft. I’m pretty sure I hear the commercials on the podcasts I listen to.”
He snickered. “Probably where she heard it. She’s obsessed with some true crime podcast by a local dude.”
“Guess I’ll have to look it up. I tend to listen to music—” I swallowed hard. Music articles and podcasts were my life. Just like a lot of people. “Documentaries.”
He frowned. “Nothing wrong with that. I’m lucky I get to see recaps of hockey games these days.”
“Oh, yeah?” He mentioned he enjoyed hockey too. “Rangers’ fan?”
“Actually, I ended up adopting the Kings since I moved to Chicago. Even if they’re hot garbage these days. Well, until a rookie got pushed up from the AHL team when Burns got hurt. This kid is phenomenal. Rio something.”
My heart kicked. Rio, my little brother.
He hadn’t mentioned he was a Kings fan too.
I opened my mouth to say something—anything. Oh, hey that’s my little brother! So easy.
But then my pocket rang.
“Oh, hey, that’s mine,” he said with a grin. He dipped his hand into my pocket and made sure to rummage around. “Cookies in there too?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Your phone is ringing.”
“Nah, it’s a text. My brother is an asshole. Changed his text tone to an old telephone ringtone so I want to murder him every time he sends me a text.” He glanced down at the screen. “Shit. Finn is stuck in San Francisco and not sure he can get out this way. The flights are all cancelled.”
That didn’t bode well for my traveling family either. I unearthed my phone and saw the extensive chat history of my siblings.
Q:
had to put my bike on a truck out to you, O.
Kent:
I’m stuck in fucking Kentucky working on a house. I was supposed to fly out tomorrow, but all the flights are cancelled.
Q:
Yeah, I’m stuck in an airport. Hell, I don’t even know where I am.
River:
Look at your ticket, idiot.
Q:
testy. Oh, I’m in Michigan. Sweet.
River:
Not sweet, there’s another storm coming. Right where you are.
Q:
figures you know the weather. But f me man, they bumped my flight again. Sorry, O.
Kent:
We’re trying to get there.
I skimmed over the rest of the sniping between my siblings. Rio hadn’t checked in, but he had games right up until Christmas Eve. Levi was probably on one of his long shifts, since he’d asked for time off. Being a firefighter in Boston meant he was always busy.
I swore when I checked the weather app. “Unprecedented snow for the holidays,” I quoted and sagged onto the end of the bed.
Hudson sat next to me and bumped my arm with his. “You okay?”
I sighed. “I really miss my siblings. I got this place and figured we’d be swearing at each other for a week.” I tipped my head against his shoulder. “And now we’re getting even more snow. How is there anything left up in the sky?”
He laughed. “Pretty sure the lake effect has something to do with it. But it doesn’t sound good if the other areas are just as bad. Where are they coming in from?”
“Two are coming from Boston.”
He sucked in a breath between his teeth.
“Yeah.” I scrolled through my messages again and got even more depressed as River mentioned her flight had been fully cancelled with no new flight scheduled until the snow moved along. She was in Boston with Levi.
Quickly, I sent a message back.
I just want you guys safe. But really try, k?
Then I shoved it back in my pocket.
“C’mon. We can’t change the weather, but at least we can go enjoy it. Snow day for all, right?” He bumped me. “Or I’m going to roll you back into that bed and distract you.”
“I like that plan better.”
“Except we are on a sex ban.”
“I take it back,” I said, unable to stop a smile.
“Oh, no. I’m a man of my word, and I said I’d go through the day without getting into your luscious, beautiful, bodacious body.”
“God, that was awful.”
He laughed and dragged me to my feet. “A little over the top.” He lowered his mouth to mine and the kiss was sweet. Just a brush of lips and no pressure.
A learning.
But it did make me yearn. The bed looked soft and warm.
He slid his hand down my back to my butt and squeezed. “Dress warmly. I gotta go dig in my suitcase for something to wear.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t be going outside.” I reached up to touch his forehead. His bruise was already fading to an ugly yellow. “You did knock yourself silly two days ago.”
“And you’ve been banging me like it’s your job, Angel. I think I can handle some snow. Or...” He grinned down at me. “You don’t think you can outdo me with a snowman.”
“Snow person!” I pushed him back playfully. “Might as well make a girl snowman since those are the only breasts you’re touching today, pal.”
“Now wait a minute. We just said sex. Copping a feel wasn’t off the table.”
“Now it is.” I pushed him toward the door. “Wear layers.” I gave him a smug smile. “I’m from snow country. I take my snow people very seriously, Hudson.”
Hurriedly, I got ready with a pair of yoga pants under my corduroy pants from the other day. Two pairs of socks and a thermal shirt over my stolen tank was a good start. I headed out of my room and downstairs to find my hoodie to wear under my pink parka.
A couple minutes later, I was wrapping my ten-foot scarf around my neck that Q’s makeup girl had crocheted for me with a cozy, squishy merino wool.
Hudson came down the stairs, laughing as he got a look at me. He was wearing a thin black zip pullover workout thing with matching track pants and black boots. He looked like he was getting ready to go on the ski slopes. But I recognized the high-end winter wear from years of living in the Catskills.
And he was far too attractive while I resembled a kid with mismatched clothes unfit for a snowstorm. Maybe I’d spent too much time in cushy buses these days and not out in the elements. But I was winning this snowman contest. I cinched my scarf a little tighter around my face in response to the wind whipping beyond the front windows.
“Ready?” I asked.
He pulled a yellow and black jacket out of his other suitcase that was still sitting by the door. “Got gloves in that pink frothy concoction you’ve got going on there?” He zipped it and pulled very sturdy black gloves out of his pocket.
Damn him for being so pulled together.
I tipped up my chin. “Ready.” I opened the door and barely resisted a squeak at the arctic blast that slammed into me. It was a little better once I actually got out on the porch.
The drifts had been drifting and then some. They winged up over the steps and railing, trailing onto the porch in chilly dunes of powder.
Hudson stepped out and grabbed the shovel leaning against the cabin. Quickly, he started making us a path down the stairs and out on the yard. His car was almost completely covered in snow. The beach along the lake was only broken by the endless lapping of the angry waves getting stirred up by the wind and endless flakes.
It was damn cold out here and the visibility was near zero. I wasn’t sure how we were going to make a snowman when the wind was pushing me along the path Hudson had made and literally closing up behind me.
But I was determined to stay out of the house for a few minutes at least. I chased Hudson down the zigzagging trail he was making with the shovel until we reached the beach. The water was breathtaking this close up.
The clouds were so full of snow, it seemed as if the storm was never going to end. I trudged through the snow to get a look at the main thoroughfare, Lakeview Drive. There were faint tracks from whatever plow had managed to drive the roads, but I had a feeling we were well beyond a state of emergency when it came to this storm.
Then a snowball hit me square in the back.
I swung around to find an unrepentant Hudson toting a shovel over his shoulder with a full load of snow.
I screeched and dodged as I tried to run by him. The whomp of snow that hit me square in the chest made the breath leave my body.
Hell, I was pretty sure my spirit left along with it.
His eyebrows shot up under his yellow beanie he must have pulled on when we got outside. It was caked with snow, and he was already reloading the massive shovel.
“That is not a snowman!” I yelled into the void of wind and whipping icy snow.
He grinned. “Can’t it’s too fluffy.”
Then another shovel full came my way and I spluttered. Frosty crystals formed in my scarf and hat and went down my jacket. I ran at him, using all the blocking techniques Rio had taught me on the ice and winged him in the shoulder. He went down with an oof , making a huge dent in the drifts of snow.
I grabbed the shovel and dug deep into the more packed powder and heaved it onto him, square in the face.
“Hey! I didn’t go at your face.”
“I told you, I don’t play fair, remember?”
He rolled onto his side like a beached seal, and I couldn’t get out of the way fast enough. He caught my ankle, and I went down face first into a drift. The icy packed bits were more like icy rocks as they snaked their way down into my parka.
I couldn’t feel my face, but I could pack a damn snowball. I lobbed one over my shoulder where I thought he was and heard a wheezing laugh.
“Missed!”
Then another neck full of snow made me squeak. Hudson was above me, a huge snowball in his hands. I rolled, catching him in the knees so he toppled backward, butt first into a drift.
He was stuck and the big snowball he’d made crumbled over his head.
I couldn’t stop the laugh at his shocked face. Then I dove after him until we were both flat. I rolled off him until we were side by side. I started moving my hands and legs and he laughed up at the sky, then he followed suit.
We made haphazard snow angels, giggling like children.
I stared up at the chaotic flakes that blustered above us. There were so many they blurred into the heavy white sky. I opened my mouth to catch a few on my tongue. When I glanced over at Hudson, he was looking at me.
His smile had softened, but he kept staring.
Right then, I felt pretty damn perfect.