Chapter 26 Home Is Where Your People Are
Chapter twenty-six
Home Is Where Your People Are
Roxy
The machines in my hospital room clicked and beeped, even though I wasn’t connected to any of them.
It felt like being haunted by someone’s ghosts.
I ground my teeth, focusing on the pain until each sound was over.
I wanted to beat each machine with a baseball bat, watching the pieces fly all over the room, but I’d be bankrupt for a few minutes of fun.
I sat on the edge of the hospital bed, waiting for them to disconnect my IV.
If I weren’t deathly afraid of blood, I’d pull the needle out myself.
The hospital doctor had checked on me over an hour ago.
He’d said I was good to go and he’d let the nurse know to prepare for discharge, but here I was, still waiting.
As quickly as they wanted to kick me out, they were moving at a snail’s pace.
Cactus had said nothing, sitting in the stuffed chair. It looked uncomfortable, but the nurses had told me he hadn’t left—not even to get a cup of coffee. They said they had never seen a husband so devoted to his wife. Cactus had restored their faith in love as he talked to me and held my hand.
I had said my piece after he’d barged into my room the night the girls had taken me to the bar.
I didn’t think things would change, but they had.
He’d repeatedly made room for me in his life, reinforcing the truth, and yet, I was still looking for the lies.
Some part of me still believed he’d leave.
I wasn’t worth readjusting his whole life for.
The morning of the gas leak, I’d paced in front of the TV, trying to gather my thoughts. I should have taken the leap of faith, but something held me back. He was exactly who he’d shown me he was, so why was I so conflicted?
I remembered little after that. I’d felt sick to my stomach, thinking I’d eaten something funny. A nap had sounded good, giving whatever it was time to pass. Instead, everything faded to black.
The nurse finally finished up the last few things. She tried to tell me what signs to watch out for, but I only caught half of the shit. I felt fine, and after two days of being stuck in the hospital, I was done with this clusterfuck.
When she mentioned I had to be wheeled out, I lost it. I wasn’t waiting around for some volunteer when my legs worked fine. I’d had enough, and I sprinted past her, wanting to go home.
Home?
I’d found my place in Tombstone. Friends I’d consider family, a job I loved, and Cactus. He was the only variable I couldn’t predict, and I didn’t dare ask. What if he didn’t see things the same way?
If he didn’t, I would have to leave everything behind. I couldn’t stomach staying in a life I couldn’t keep. He had the power to destroy me, even though I’d sworn never to allow anyone to hurt me again.
Cactus reached for my hand, interlocking our fingers together as the exit doors opened into the parking lot. “Your chariot is this way.”
I believed in soulmates. I shouldn’t have, knowing my history, but deep down, I thought there was someone for everyone. You just had to find them. My hand fit Cactus’s perfectly, and if that wasn’t a sign, I didn’t know what was.
He led me past the first couple of rows of vehicles in the hospital’s parking lot, but I hadn’t seen his bike. It was distinguishable, the paint a desert motif in browns and blues. Past a few more cars, and there it was.
Aces had fixed my car.
He’s sending me away. Aces didn’t fix things for free. Cactus had to have told him to. My heart sank, and my stomach knotted. It was the last thing I wanted, but I would go if it made his life easier. I wouldn’t beg for his attention, and having my car fixed was a sign he didn’t want me.
Cactus opened my door, and when I slid into the passenger seat, I instantly looked behind me, hoping my suitcase was in the back seat.
I’d have at least a change of clothes, and the suitcase was sentimental.
I’d sold everything I owned when I’d left New Jersey, but I had been tired of the plastic bags, buying it with the first tips I’d collected from the saloon.
Now, there was nothing, and they had cleaned the car.
I couldn’t help but feel as if they had wiped my existence away with it.
I didn’t have a clue where I was as Cactus drove through neighborhoods I’d never seen. My mouth opened to ask, but I quickly closed it, fearing he wouldn’t give me a straight answer. It would just add to my anxiety. At least it didn’t look like we were heading to the clubhouse.
He made a right into a place called Sierra, taking the corners as if he’d been there a million times.
The houses were cookie-cutter, but I imagined normal stuff.
Kids running in the yard, yelling at their friends across the street.
The moms sitting on the front porch, gossiping.
It didn’t help we passed a mother and her young daughter walking out of their front door.
That wasn’t a life I had wanted for myself, but for a moment, it was a real possibility.
Cactus turned into the driveway of a light gray home. He reached into the cupholder, hitting the button for the garage door. It went up smoothly, but that couldn’t be right. He didn’t own a home.
Are robbing a house? I was with a man who’d broken into my motel room most days, but I knew him.
He didn’t need me for something like this.
Nor would he ever put me in danger voluntarily.
Also, the garage was empty, so he wouldn’t find expensive tools, and I’d lend him my car if he really needed one.
“Stay here.”
Prick. I smiled on the inside.
He walked around the trunk of my car, whistling. I would have cracked a joke about being able to carry a tune, but none of this was making sense. I should have confronted him, but yelling wouldn’t make him talk any faster. He’d hold it in until he was ready, so I remained silent.
Cactus opened my door. “What?” he asked innocently as he unbuckled my seat belt.
“You know I hate surprises. They make me anxious. I don’t know what’s going on.”
“Humor me for a sec. I get only one chance to do this right.” He kissed me quickly before picking me up bridal-style.
“Put me down.”
“Don’t make me flip you over my shoulder.” It wasn’t a threat. He’d done it before, so I knew it was a promise. I tightened my arms around his neck, closing the space between us. We moved as if we’d done this hundreds of times, not twice.
Cactus opened the door in the garage, stepping through to the house. He sat me on the countertop in the kitchen, bracing his hands against the edge. “Why are you pissy, sweetheart?”
The white wall behind him was as sterile as the hospital had been.
The irony hit hard. This didn’t feel like a fresh start.
I didn’t want to be angry with him, but if he was planning on hiding me, I’d rather he’d said goodbye.
“I’m confused, and the longer you don’t tell me what’s going on, the more it makes me think we’re over.
You’re sending me away.” I socked his arm.
It probably hurt me more than it did him, but he flinched like I’d just clubbed him.
“The motel’s gone. They’re going to demo it once the fire investigation is done.” He genuinely smiled. “If you want, we can live in my room at the clubhouse.”
“Fuck, no.” That would never happen. I tried to glance around, but his kiss pulled my focus back to him, cutting off whatever fight I had left.
“You need somewhere to call yours. I knew this was for sale.” His hands shifted, his knuckles going white as he gripped the counter.
“Selfish on my part.” He shrugged, lowering his eyes to somewhere around my neck.
“I bought it for us, so that you’d have something real. Somewhere you’d want to call home.”
“Don’t make me beg for affection you’re not willing to give,” I breathed. I pulled a move from Cactus’s playbook. I reached under his beard, found his chin, and pushed up to make him look at me. “Is it? Are you going to stay here? I don’t want to stick around, waiting for you to show, husband.”
“They told you?” he asked, referring to the nurses.
I made a noncommittal noise. “They gushed about how romantic it was. I almost believed them until I saw my car.”
His face shifted, and his eyes narrowed. “Oh fuck. I didn’t think how that would look to you. You saw your car and assumed I was going to say goodbye?”
My eyebrows shot up. What else was I supposed to think? “You were the one to tell Aces, so I thought you were taking me to the highway. We end up here.” I waved my hands around. “I’m not even sure where we are.”
“I did. I couldn’t put you on the back of my bike after everything.
Besides, we’re a few more miles from the historical district than you were originally.
You’re going to need it to go back and forth.
” He smiled, but his eyes held no emotion.
They didn’t light up like they normally did when he was excited.
“I told you I was confused. I’ve gone so long without my car, I assumed it meant you were done with me. Then you pulled up to this house, and I thought you were going to dump me here. Are you seriously going to be here every night?”
“I know you have a hard time with change, but nothing will, except we’ll live here.
Most nights, I’ll be home, all up in your space.
” He stroked my inner thigh. “Some nights, I’ll have to stay in the clubhouse, especially when I’m leaving town.
” Cactus paused. His jaw clenched as if the words tasted bitter.
“I won’t grill you about other women every time you’re there.” It wasn’t my style. If I couldn’t trust him not to touch, there was no point in building a life with him. We would have failed from the start.
His eyes blazed, trapping me in his gaze. I couldn’t look away for fear I’d miss something. “I need you to know I haven’t been with anyone since you showed up in town. Anyone, Roxy. I won’t disrespect you like that.”